abraxasmods: (Default)
ABRAXAS MODS ([personal profile] abraxasmods) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs2023-10-15 08:13 am
Entry tags:

EVENT #15: THE NETHER - IC EVENT LOG

Event #15 - The Nether

After a Conclave vote earlier this month, you're prepared to accept the formal request from the Nether for your assistance. By now, you'll know who the delegates are and that the dragons have suffered an illness from the rifts that opened this summer, due to the unfortunate actions of one of your fellow Summoned. Whether or not you agree with your Conclave's majority rule, the decision has been made.

The expedition will begin on October 16 and last 10 days. If you need to return home sooner, you can activate your portal stone at any point during the trip, but there's no going back once you do.

Though mysterious, the Draconae - or daemons, as others call them - are not elusive like the Fey. Anyone who's been to Nocwich will have seen a handful of them amongst the population, and some reside in the Free Cities or the outskirts of Thorne. The only nation they aren't found in is Solvunn.
Into the Heart
Your arrival to the Nether is a frosty one. The northern island is barren, save for a thick layer of snow, a few birds, and some hardy insects. Massive skeletal remains can be seen as you walk over the ice. Every few minutes, the ground trembles. The Draconae warriors greet you at the base of the volcano, including Orion, The Warden herself. Though they appear intimidating, they're grateful you're here and will clap you heartily on the back.

Entering the Obsidian Heart requires nerves of steel, but appearances aside, the narrow walkway is sturdy. As long as you're brave, you'll make it down without a problem. The less sure-footed are encouraged to ask for a hand. If they do, they'll be assigned a Draconum warrior who will cheerfully carry them down the winding path. You can also help each other, of course! Any Summoned who are capable can carry their friends, too.

As you venture down, the oppressive heat intensifies...until suddenly it stops. The moment you reach the fiery gates, the smell of brimstone fades from the air and the temperature eases into that of a pleasant summer's day. If asked, the Draconae will tell you this is how it is - a blessing from the two remaining dragons. Without them, the air would suffocate all life within.

Although the main purpose is to aid the dragons, the Draconae will invite characters to take breaks, participate in recreational activities, and explore the Nether. They want their guests to be comfortable, especially as the Summoned have arrived to help.
Around the City
At the center of the volcano lies the Obsidian Heart, where the Draconae reside. Made of stacking homes and stone bridges that spiral downward, it's a wonder how anyone finds their way. There are no maps, signage, or any form of direction. Their ability to navigate appears inherent. The most dangerous beasts lurk beneath the lava, so unless you intend to go swimming, you're unlikely to run into anything aggressive.

Doors and furniture are heavy and are made of iron, bronze, or steel. You might need to push or pull furnishings and doors with both hands and extra effort. Luckily, citizens are happy to help - as long as you ask. If you don't, they won't interfere out of respect for your autonomy. In fact, if they see you huffing and puffing, they might stop to watch and will sincerely cheer for you should you accomplish your objective by yourself.

Watch your sticky fingers. While petty theft is a minor offence in other places, the Draconae are highly protective of their belongings and treasures. Hands and heads have been lost over stolen trinkets.
The Hieran Wing
As a guest, you'll be invited to stay at the Hieran Wing. Named after Hierus, the oldest living dragon, the Hieran Wing is located in the eastern section of the Citadel. The rest of the Citadel is under heavy guard and inaccessible.
◎ The rooms are carved into the stone itself. Bedding is comfortable, if simple, with room to store your belongings. A curved stairwell grants you privacy even though many rooms have curtains rather than doors. The few rooms that have doors contain no locks. Your safety is assured, but if you're nervous, you can ask for a guard to watch you at night.

◎ The dining area consists of open-fire grills, pots, and raw ingredients - including spices and fiery hot peppers. As great believers in self-sufficiency, the Draconae will leave you to make meals to your taste and liking. You can hunt and fish your meat, as well. There are numerous lava pools where one can net jumbo shrimp, crabs, and flaming fish. For larger game, you can go after the Erymaes Boar or Petran Bison. Feel free to share your catch with your friends or offer to cook for the culinarily challenged.

◎ The library contains only fiction. You'll recognize several titles from your faction or Nocwich, suggesting they've brought back their favorite stories to read. Other titles are new, written by the Draconae. Novels and poetry span all genres, but the most common ones seem to be adventure, horror, and erotic romance - some of which contain surprisingly detailed illustrations.
Magma Pools
Outside the Hieran Wing, unusual cerulean magma pools are provided for bathing. Despite how they look, temperatures are equivalent to that of a steaming hot spring. The magma bubbles naturally from within the volcano and provides soothing effects. No soap or cleaning agents are required. These magma pools contain tiny frogs that leap and jump around. The Draconae consider them a tasty live snack. Don't be surprised if you see a local munching on them.
The Foundry
The Foundry has expanded over the past two centuries. A marketplace now circles the ancient forge. Observing the tradespeople inside and their secrets are off-limits. However, you can browse a selection of tools, clothes, accessories, and potions. Healing potions are common due to the Draconae's lack of healing magic.

You'll have the chance to request custom-made jewelry and purchase glass ornaments that are blown for you on the spot. Merchants won't sell the large weapons on display, but daggers and other small weapons are available. They'll also modify any pieces you own by adding jewels, altering the fit, or repairing nicks and faults...for a price. The Draconae deal in Abraxan currency if you have any, but they'll accept a vial or two of blood or saliva as payment.
Negotiations & Meetings (Rank 5+)
The first order of business is to present your Conclave's terms to the Inner Sanctum, the Draconae's governing body. If you've been voted as a delegate, you'll be greeted by the NPC meeting you (and your partner, if you have one). If you haven't been selected, you can still speak to some of the NPCs available.
A Place at the Table
Negotiations will take place in The Solar on the second day, a hall lit with a fiery orb of light. This is where the Inner Sanctum conducts all of its business. Tightly guarded, you're the first outsiders allowed inside in centuries. Here, you'll have the chance to present your terms and convince the Draconae to accept. You'll also have the first day of your arrival to gather a few details about the NPC you'll be meeting.

Only one meeting is required. The Nether will give you their final answer the following day.

Be sure to reply with the terms before starting the thread. Mods will approve or ask for revisions, so try to submit your points by OCTOBER 17.

Once approved, please TAG IN with your character under the correct faction heading.
Meeting the Inner Sanctum
Members of the Inner Sanctum who are not involved in diplomatic affairs are Aster, The Guardian and Anneth, The Flame. Additional descriptions about the two NPCs and where they can be found will be in their character comments below.

Characters who are Rank 5+ (negative or positive) and who are not acting as delegates can speak with one of the two NPCs above.

To do so, TAG IN with your character under the NPC you want to meet.
Runaway at Pyritean's Rack
Abraxan outsiders will whisper that Pyritean's Rack is a nefarious torture device created by the Draconae for their victims. This is true if the victim in question is delicious meat. The Rack, in other words, is a giant cooking area filled with grilling racks and pits. Shelves of ingredients and spices line the perimeter. Its most striking feature is the primary heat source, which uses magma rather than fire. Ingredients and meat unique to the Nether result in dishes and flavors not found elsewhere. Hot peppers are a popular feature.

The Draconae cook and share their food each night at the Rack. The station is always occupied. Locals take turns hunting and fishing, preparing ingredients, and cooking. Consequently, food is provided without cost. You only need to lend a hand.

Not everything goes smoothly, though. An escaped hatchling has infiltrated the Rack, and Khloris, the baby dragon, is eager to snatch and steal food throughout the week.
Earning the Torch
Impromptu competitions are frequent. They usually begin when one cook sees another outdoing them and makes a challenge. You can either issue a challenge or receive a challenge. Challenges can be between you and the natives, or you can face off with another Summoned. Judging is done by the crowd, which can be chaotic.

Not to worry! There's no downside to losing except your pride. Though the competition can grow fierce and heated in the moment - including vulgar insults and much jeering - once all is said and done, there are no grudges when the food hits the table. Sore losers are looked down on as being thin-skinned.

Winners will receive a jar of spice mix or marinating sauce from one of the many talented cooks. We won't be modding this aspect, so just be realistic with your character's cooking skills. Be sure to work things out with your thread partner if the competition involves another player character!
Escaped Hatchling
One young dragon has escaped its sanctuary at Dragon's Glass. Curious, it's drawn to the smell of food at Pyritean's Rack. As a result, it's disrupting competitions, breaking equipment, and stealing ingredients or even chunks of meat off people's plates. Desperate to get the dragon back before it causes more trouble - or worse, injures itself - the Draconae have asked you to catch the hatchling.

Of course, you'll need to contend with the dragon's unique abilities.

Khloris, the runaway in question, leaves behind small patches of grass. Its pollen dust coats nearly everything it goes near. When eaten or touched, the pollen causes flowers to sprout in your hair for a day or two. It can't fly far or very high, but it's prone to swooping down to snatch meat off the grill. The Flame informs you the dragon can be lured with gold trinkets or bright colors like red and yellow.

To see if your character can catch the dragon, submit for a roll HERE. Submissions will close October 18 at 11:59 ET. Results will be posted on October 19 so players can account for their success or failure.

Ailing Dragons
The two ailing dragons are Hierus, the Obsidian Drake, and Kruos, the Glass Serpent. Mated to each other, they're the only remaining adult dragons in the Nether and have been for decades. When you visit them at Dragon's Glass, their condition is worrisome. The dragons' scales have lost their luster and are grown over with painful white patches. They appear lethargic.

Those researching can offer the dragons healing potions or ointment to aid their symptoms while a cure is worked on. If you're not much of a healer or a scientist, you can feed them or simply spend time with them. The dragons are intelligent and appear capable of understanding you, though they can't communicate directly.

Characters have 3 avenues of participation, depending on their interests and strengths: gathering ingredients, researching the cure, and looking after the baby dragons and eggs. They'll have time to do all three throughout the 10-day excursion.
Finding a Cure
At first, you aren't sure where or how to start. The Draconae suggest the Ashlands may be a place to explore. It's dangerous, they warn, but they have a potion that'll help keep you safe. Due to the hazards, you're told not to go alone. As you travel through the deadened land, you notice an odd phenomenon: where you walk, the air around you clears, and the ground beneath your feet springs to life. You realize you don't need the potion to protect you.

The changes are temporary, fading behind you as you walk. Curiously, the effect you exhibit is similar to what the Draconae claim their dragons are capable of - though to a much smaller degree. Still, you have to wonder if you and the dragons share a similar magical connection to the Singularity. You can't help but notice that those of you who regularly interact with the Horizon and have been doing so for a while seem to affect your environment more. Your aura may be a little larger and the vicinity restored around you lasts a bit longer rather than melting away immediately - maybe even up to a minute or two.
Restoration and Gathering
Your ability to restore the land has unlocked a vital element. Ingredients once thought lost can now be gathered by the Summoned such as yourself, and they may hold the key to curing the dragons. Bring back these ingredients to your peers waiting at Dragon's Glass. The more you gather, the more they'll be able to research and experiment, so don't be shy about making multiple trips.

There are three sections for you to explore. Each one has its dangers and a specific ingredient to collect.

Due to its circumstances, Aetherie is only available on Day 9 of the event, shortly before the cure is finalized. The Draconae will seal the area once more when they realize what's happening. Cinder's Core and Featherhive are open for the full duration of the event.


Cinder's Core
Filled with petrified trees and fossilized bones, the area that restores around you demonstrates its previous life as a flourishing rainforest: the humidity grows, the grass turns lush, and tropical flowers sprout under your fingertips. Although its sulfuric air won't affect you, you'll need to brave dangerous heights to reach the tops of trees and dried-up waterfall cliffs to retrieve the kydros fruit. The fruit smells like citrus and is surprisingly light despite its size.

Vines brought back to life can help you climb, forming ropes for you to climb and bridges that weave beneath your feet. They'll wither once more behind you, so you'll want to move quickly to avoid losing your footing. Height isn't the only danger - the ground below is littered with sharp skeletal protrusions and jagged trees. Beware of dangerous thorn bushes that will come to life in your presence and try to crush you in their spiny embrace as you ascend.
Featherhive
The air here is too toxic for the Draconae to breathe in for long. Luckily you're unaffected. Scattered across the ground are the remaining husks of birds' nests. A dragon's skeleton curls under a rocky overhang. Use your restorative ability to journey deep into Featherhive's heart. Pushing aside the thick overgrowth reveals a small clearing covered in bright crystals for you to harvest.

Although Featherhive poses no physical danger, the land is haunted by shadow birds, ethereal spirits connected to the dragons - and you. As you pass through, they flutter around you and parrot familiar lines to each other. Their movements are jerky and strange. Quickly, you realize the birds are mimicking your memories. They might replicate an entire scene or echo a phrase or two that's plagued you all your life. Or, if you're lucky, they're merely repeating your grocery list. Shooing them will cause them to dissipate into smoke, but they'll soon return.
Aetherie
The loss of a dragon released a noxious gas through this village without warning. Escaping villagers were forced to leave behind those they could not save and seal the doors. The Oblivion is a painful moment in history for many, and none have set foot near the area since. Near the end of your stay, the Draconae request you use your ability to venture where they can't and gather Anoix pods, powerful healing seeds from a plant that only grew in Aetherie. They believe the abandoned huts will contain pouches of the pods on shelves and cabinets.

Entering the village, you expect a tragic scene of corpses. Instead, you find something far worse. The dead have mutated into grotesque arachnids, limbs fused to bulbous abdomens. They show no signs of recognition or awareness and attack you on sight. Hidden in the depths of the purple haze, rat-sized spiders scurry forth. Their venom causes painful sores that will fester and spread if left untreated. Multiple bites may result in temporary blindness or paralysis of a limb. Luckily, this will clear up within 24 hours to a few days, depending on the severity.

Grab the pods if you can or flee if you're overwhelmed. When word reaches The Warden, she'll rapidly send her people to reseal the abandoned village and come to aid any who need it. If you're injured, The Flame and her apprentices will tend to you at Dragon's Glass.
Research and Magic
Dragon's Glass is a glass-domed temple said to be forged from the fires of Kruos. It's located in the Spiral, which is outside the Obsidian Heart. Here, the two remaining dragons reside while ill, along with their clutch of eggs and a few precious hatchlings.

Anneth, The Flame, will invite you into the temple's alchemy labs, where you can apply your skills and knowledge to create the healing elixir that cures the dragons. Doing so requires you to experiment with key ingredients found in the Ashlands. You'll have access to basic alchemy books and apprentices at the temple. Use any additional tools, supplies, and knowledge you possess, and take advantage of the resources donated by the factions.

How you approach your research is up to you, but each ingredient comes with a set of risks - so be careful while you work!
◎ The kydros fruit contains seeds that will explode when heated, causing a chain reaction like popped popcorn. The explosions aren't large, but they might scorch your supplies. Crushing them in the open air results in a similar chemical reaction. However, soaking them in water makes them soften into mush, allowing you to turn the seeds into a paste that could be useful. The fruit is similar to grapefruit and is excellent for a sore throat.

◎ The crystals come in three colors: red, blue, and black. Extended contact will dye your skin that color. The stains are extraordinarily stubborn, so your clothes may not recover. These crystals resonate with a strange hum that suggests they respond well to magic spells. Combining them with a liquid will give off a foul-smelling smoke, so you may need to find ways to neutralize the stench before combining it into an elixir.

◎ The Anoix pods must be used sparingly, as no more can be gathered from Aetherie. They possess strong healing properties, but each pod is very delicate and must be split open with care so as not to damage the soft seeds inside. In addition to researching the cure, you can also attempt to help the Dracaone grow new Anoix plants using the preserved seeds.

The final cure will use all 3 key ingredients. Don't worry too much about continuity! As long as your character participated, you can assume they made a valuable contribution.

However, to assist with coordination, we've provided a RESEARCH DISCOVERY section where you can present any findings your character would share with others in-game.

Hatchlings and Eggs
While curing the adult dragons is a priority, the hatchlings and eggs aren't to be neglected. Baby dragons are active troublemakers, and without their parents to keep them in line, they've become especially unruly. The apprentices at the temple can only do so much. The Keeper has even made rare appearances in Dragon's Glass to lend his assistance.

Meanwhile, the eggs are beginning to show signs of affliction. The shells are beginning to weaken, and the feathery growths appearing on them will suffocate the hatchling inside if left untreated.
Babysitting the Dragons
If you have a spare moment, you can look after the baby dragons. Keep them out of trouble by reading their favorite stories, singing songs, and playing with them. They'll also need to be fed, watered, and their bedding changed or fluffed. The hatchlings are mischievous but friendly. They're eager to bond with the Summoned for reasons unexplained, as if they feel something resonating within you.

Many are attracted to shiny objects and bright colors and will attempt to steal them. Conversely, they might gift you a trinket that they've pilfered from someone else. The local Draconae would appreciate it if you returned any missing tools or jewels.

Hatchlings you'll encounter in Dragon's Glass are:
Okenus spouts water instead of flame. Bearing fins instead of wings, this sea dragon is vital to bringing lakes and rivers back to the Nether. Currently, it can only make tiny puddles and rainclouds. Watch that your belongings don't get wet. Standing near the dragon might cause a small storm cloud to spawn over you and rain down on your head. A simple spell will make the cloud disappear, but if you don't have any magic, you might have to bring an umbrella.

Epeius can form miniature gusts of wind beneath its wings, but it doesn't have firm control and frequently spawns them when excited. These small dust devils and whirlwinds will follow you around. Though they aren't powerful, they can be a nuisance, knocking over cups, blowing away hats, and sending papers flying. The other hatchlings will find your misfortune a source of amusement.

Ledas can help salt deposits form in the shape of large salt crystals. Salt is important to the Draconae, which the hatchling is aware of and thus takes great pride in its abilities. The crystals can be eaten as is or crushed into granules. Ledas will strive to impress you with the largest crystals that it can make...which occasionally results in the structure collapsing, littering the ground with salt. You might find yourself sweeping often around this dragon, but at least you'll never be short on seasoning.

Anthusa is a very special hatchling that creates bioluminescent algae. The algae grow on its scales, forming a symbiotic relationship. Unfortunately, without a proper habitat for this algae in the Nether, its glow has dimmed in recent years and the hatchling has become languid and sickly despite its youth. Nonetheless, Anthusa is friendly and curious even if it struggles to keep up with its siblings. You can help Anthusa play by lifting it to heights it can't reach, and carrying it back when the dragon is too tired to walk.
Weakened Eggs
As noted, the eggs demonstrate signs of suffering, too. Three eggs are waiting to be hatched. Whether all of the eggs survive is dependent on the decision that each faction Conclave made regarding resources found, as well as the help provided by you and your fellow Summoned.

The eggs can't be cured until the dragons are cured, but you can help slow the growths by gently scraping them off and wiping the eggs regularly with a clean cloth. They must also be kept heated, so check the magma frequently and refill any magma basins. The growths can be donated to those researching for additional study if you wish.



thedreamer: (0632)

[personal profile] thedreamer 2023-11-05 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a shared sentiment, without entirely knowing it. He doesn't want Julia or anyone else harmed like this, violated with their memories plucked up out of the dark and into the light, shared without wanting that at all. But the birds didn't only just appear, they've been here and they serve a purpose. Another time, he would wish to understand better.

Now, though, he's only worried for her. As the emotion wells up from that place deep inside he knows all too well — that secret place, where nothing can hurt because it's all buried deep and it's safe there. Or at least, it's a clever ruse to tell oneself, to carry on from moment to moment.

I made a mistake.

And — they died.

Words that don't come from the same experience, of course, but words that echo all the same for the Doctor for how familiar they are. Some have died because of his mistakes, for his mistakes, for his oversights, his selfishness, his hubris. Others — too many — died by his own hand. Because he had to. But still, it haunts him. The choices he made, what he could have done instead. It's not about him right now, though. Later, they'll get to that. Or, he'll try. This moment is about her, and he folds his arms very loosely across his chest, leaning in just a little to convey his full attention focused on her.

"I'm sorry, Julia," he says quietly, to start.

"We see it so clearly, the moments, the days, the years after. The way it could have been different, everything poised on the edge of a breath. And it, hurts, yes, it breaks our hearts," he eases into it more. "This pain, I would never want for you or anyone, but there's a way to carry it that turns it into a beacon, a map, a way out of the dark, a way...you want to be tomorrow and the day after. It's easy to sit there, I know that all too well. Just sit there with the pain and you're trapped with it before you know any better. I'm sorry," he repeats again, "I'm sorry they've gone. And here, now, we can remember them. Together. I'll keep them with me, too."

He shares just a fraction of how he might be feeling, too, in a...roundabout way. "That's the way to go forward, in my experience. To not let it just be, but to let it be for something."
divinityfrompain: (crying upset)

[personal profile] divinityfrompain 2023-11-06 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Julia's known from the moment she met him that he's an old soul, and then he admitted to his age, and it seemed so obvious. It's the way he holds himself, like there's heaviness to his shoulders, even as he smiles and brightens and runs around. He's an inspiration for her already, to be a thousand years old and still going. She knows he's talking from experience, that he does understand loss to a scale she can't yet. If he can be him, she can be her, she has to believe that's possible.

"It was for something. It was for this, me. Being a goddess." So it's not that she is unaware of where these paths all converged. If Julia didn't help them summon Reynard, if he hadn't broken her, if she hadn't spared him, she wouldn't be her. "Their deaths led here." So it was her mistake, and in a way, her lesson. It's so wrong, that their wonderful hearts and lives and the times they had together were leading in one direction. They died because of her.

Sometimes she really thinks that's what destroyed her even more than what he did to her. What he did to them. She would give up all her power in exchange, she truly would. But she can't unring the bell.

"I saw them afterward, in the underworld. None of them blamed me. They were so happy to see me." And it seemed wrong that they would, that they'd embrace her like nothing had changed. She didn't have her Shade at the time so it couldn't fully hit her, the feelings she had, she was so empty at the time, but it still did get to her. They bowled together. Quentin got the first strike of his life.

She breathes in deeply and out, closing her eyes for a moment, before opening them again more resolved than grieving. "Silver, Menolly, Bender, and ... and Richard." Richard more pronounced because of his meaning to her. "Whatever I do from now, it's for them. Right?"
thedreamer: (0569)

[personal profile] thedreamer 2023-11-07 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
"It's for them, Julia. For Silver, Menolly, Bender, and Richard," he repeats, his voice softer, a little slower, taking a few seconds per name and allowing the space of another second or two before he says the next name. "I won't forget. I never forget a name or a face."

A bold claim, perhaps, but one with genuine truth on his part. He could name them all right now; for all that he says he forgets, for a flash, he sees them all. And there in his memory, the names she's shared with him now.

"The next step you take from here, today and tomorrow and all the days to come, remember where you want to go. Who you want to be. There will be bad things and good things and friends along the way. None of us stays anywhere forever, not even in the worst moments."

None of them blamed her, she says. She was forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift and never a guarantee, something he knows too well. What must it have been like, he wonders?

Before he can say or do anything else, the birds return — two of them — and there's his voice and another's, and the exchange is all too relevant, eerily so. His voice first, saying, "I can explain. Tell them why I had to." And then Amy, "You want to be forgiven." "Don't we all?"

His only reaction is to briefly look down, if only because the birds are gone just as quickly again and he'd rather focus on Julia and their objective once more. For him, it's almost as if that little exchange didn't happen, as if the ghost of a memory hasn't fazed him, as if hearing Amy's words doesn't upset him at all.

"Let's think of something to look forward to when we're through this, eh? Something...not this. Nocwich again, first chance we get."
divinityfrompain: (sm1d147)

[personal profile] divinityfrompain 2023-11-13 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
Being forgiven by others doesn't always mean forgiveness by yourself. It's often the opposite. Her friends forgave her and she knew in her heart they would, that they would not blame her, but she will keep blaming herself. Their only mistake was being her friend, it's hard to get over that reality. The only thing keeping her from making relationships past-trauma was knowing that it meant he won, but more than that, now it's about not becoming him. Being a better god. She needs to believe in people to do that.

"I want to do good. I want to be good." Julia's always been the good girl, her whole life, and she had faith in that once, but she was grounded so far into the dirt, bloodied and broken, that she didn't feel it anymore. She felt dark and ugly and that her rage would never let her go back. She's afraid that having eternity in front of her is dangerous, that no one can stay good that long.

But she believes him and what he's saying, she knows that he is wiser and more experienced, and their intense moment is distracted by the birds. Julia tenses up in fear about what else they could say, if she hears Reynard's voice she's going to lose her mind, but it's the Doctor's voice instead. She breathes out, having caught her breath in that moment, and looks at him instead.

"We're both very haunted people, aren't we? Basically delicious meat for the birds." She's assuming they're feeding off them. There is no other reason she can see for them to do this, outside of cruelty, but it feels more likely they get sustenance. After having hesitated about this before, Julia offers him her hand, because she can.

"I have proof that friendship is the type that is forgiving. I can't speak precisely to what happened with you, but if they knew you, they'd understand."
thedreamer: (0427)

[personal profile] thedreamer 2023-11-13 06:33 am (UTC)(link)
He's wanted it, that forgiveness, and the birds tell the story he can't say out loud. But it is another thing entirely, to be forgiven and to forgive one's own self. That will always elude him. At his worst, he had transformed from the Doctor to the Warrior, a man no longer of peace but one embroiled in the darkest battles the universe had ever known. And on one terrible day, it all stopped and he stood alone with what he'd done. And he tried, and he's trying now everyday, to just be the Doctor again. That's the only absolution he'll ever find, to live up to the promise of that name and what he wants it to mean to everyone who might speak it or call for him in their time of need. Kindness. Hope. Peace. That's who he wants to be everyday and that's what he tries to remember.

When she says that she wants to do good and be good, it's all too familiar. Is he good? Is he bad? Most days, he just tries to be kind. Perhaps that's enough.

"A veritable feast for them," the Doctor nods towards the sky, to where the birds were only moments before. But then he looks down towards her offered hand, hesitates only for a moment, and then gently takes it, holding onto her. A kindness offered in friendship, a gift he gratefully accepts.

They shouldn't have to understand. He wants to believe her words, though, and for her sake, he'll try. "As these things go, getting to know each other better, I might have skipped all this if I had my choice. Never Have I Ever is a far better ice breaker, for example, than ghostly birds dredging up our worst memories." For a moment, he can't help trying to deflect with humor, but they've gone through something rather awful and he doesn't want to insult her pain either by staying in that flippancy too long.

So he adds softly, "Thank you, Julia. You've made this easier than it would have been otherwise."
divinityfrompain: (sm1b376)

Maybe we can wrap on this one!

[personal profile] divinityfrompain 2023-11-18 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
Being around him has proven that someone can live that long and be good. But it's also proven that it won't protect her from being haunted or having regrets. Unfortunately that's just life, especially when it goes on for centuries. Julia has given a lot of thought to her future since she knows what she doesn't want to be, but is not being a bad god enough? At a point she'll have to decide what she does want to be, and it has to be better than 'good.'

"You too, Doctor. I probably would have ended up lying on the ground otherwise." Listen, at one point that was her reaction to experiencing what she did, and it was a reasonable way to handle so many feelings. So it's not her joking, although there is a sort of defeated humor to it.

"We don't have anything to drink when we need to, so we'll have to be honest about it." She smiles at him and squeezes his hand. "Never Have I Ever ... gone to space!" Her hazel eyes are playful as she looks at him, obviously having chosen that because he'd immediately lose.