EVENT #15: THE NETHER - IC EVENT LOG

[abraxasmods]

Event #15 - The Nether

OOC event plotting | settings info

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After a Conclave vote earlier this month, you're prepared to accept the formal request from the Nether for your assistance. By now, you'll know who the delegates are and that the dragons have suffered an illness from the rifts that opened this summer, due to the unfortunate actions of one of your fellow Summoned. Whether or not you agree with your Conclave's majority rule, the decision has been made.

The expedition will begin on October 16 and last 10 days. If you need to return home sooner, you can activate your portal stone at any point during the trip, but there's no going back once you do.

Though mysterious, the Draconae - or daemons, as others call them - are not elusive like the Fey. Anyone who's been to Nocwich will have seen a handful of them amongst the population, and some reside in the Free Cities or the outskirts of Thorne. The only nation they aren't found in is Solvunn.

Into the Heart

Your arrival to the Nether is a frosty one. The northern island is barren, save for a thick layer of snow, a few birds, and some hardy insects. Massive skeletal remains can be seen as you walk over the ice. Every few minutes, the ground trembles. The Draconae warriors greet you at the base of the volcano, including Orion, The Warden herself. Though they appear intimidating, they're grateful you're here and will clap you heartily on the back.

Entering the Obsidian Heart requires nerves of steel, but appearances aside, the narrow walkway is sturdy. As long as you're brave, you'll make it down without a problem. The less sure-footed are encouraged to ask for a hand. If they do, they'll be assigned a Draconum warrior who will cheerfully carry them down the winding path. You can also help each other, of course! Any Summoned who are capable can carry their friends, too.

As you venture down, the oppressive heat intensifies...until suddenly it stops. The moment you reach the fiery gates, the smell of brimstone fades from the air and the temperature eases into that of a pleasant summer's day. If asked, the Draconae will tell you this is how it is - a blessing from the two remaining dragons. Without them, the air would suffocate all life within.

Although the main purpose is to aid the dragons, the Draconae will invite characters to take breaks, participate in recreational activities, and explore the Nether. They want their guests to be comfortable, especially as the Summoned have arrived to help.

Around the City

At the center of the volcano lies the Obsidian Heart, where the Draconae reside. Made of stacking homes and stone bridges that spiral downward, it's a wonder how anyone finds their way. There are no maps, signage, or any form of direction. Their ability to navigate appears inherent. The most dangerous beasts lurk beneath the lava, so unless you intend to go swimming, you're unlikely to run into anything aggressive.

Doors and furniture are heavy and are made of iron, bronze, or steel. You might need to push or pull furnishings and doors with both hands and extra effort. Luckily, citizens are happy to help - as long as you ask. If you don't, they won't interfere out of respect for your autonomy. In fact, if they see you huffing and puffing, they might stop to watch and will sincerely cheer for you should you accomplish your objective by yourself.

Watch your sticky fingers. While petty theft is a minor offence in other places, the Draconae are highly protective of their belongings and treasures. Hands and heads have been lost over stolen trinkets.

The Hieran Wing

As a guest, you'll be invited to stay at the Hieran Wing. Named after Hierus, the oldest living dragon, the Hieran Wing is located in the eastern section of the Citadel. The rest of the Citadel is under heavy guard and inaccessible.

◎ The rooms are carved into the stone itself. Bedding is comfortable, if simple, with room to store your belongings. A curved stairwell grants you privacy even though many rooms have curtains rather than doors. The few rooms that have doors contain no locks. Your safety is assured, but if you're nervous, you can ask for a guard to watch you at night.

◎ The dining area consists of open-fire grills, pots, and raw ingredients - including spices and fiery hot peppers. As great believers in self-sufficiency, the Draconae will leave you to make meals to your taste and liking. You can hunt and fish your meat, as well. There are numerous lava pools where one can net jumbo shrimp, crabs, and flaming fish. For larger game, you can go after the Erymaes Boar or Petran Bison. Feel free to share your catch with your friends or offer to cook for the culinarily challenged.

◎ The library contains only fiction. You'll recognize several titles from your faction or Nocwich, suggesting they've brought back their favorite stories to read. Other titles are new, written by the Draconae. Novels and poetry span all genres, but the most common ones seem to be adventure, horror, and erotic romance - some of which contain surprisingly detailed illustrations.

Magma Pools

Outside the Hieran Wing, unusual cerulean magma pools are provided for bathing. Despite how they look, temperatures are equivalent to that of a steaming hot spring. The magma bubbles naturally from within the volcano and provides soothing effects. No soap or cleaning agents are required. These magma pools contain tiny frogs that leap and jump around. The Draconae consider them a tasty live snack. Don't be surprised if you see a local munching on them.

The Foundry

The Foundry has expanded over the past two centuries. A marketplace now circles the ancient forge. Observing the tradespeople inside and their secrets are off-limits. However, you can browse a selection of tools, clothes, accessories, and potions. Healing potions are common due to the Draconae's lack of healing magic.

You'll have the chance to request custom-made jewelry and purchase glass ornaments that are blown for you on the spot. Merchants won't sell the large weapons on display, but daggers and other small weapons are available. They'll also modify any pieces you own by adding jewels, altering the fit, or repairing nicks and faults...for a price. The Draconae deal in Abraxan currency if you have any, but they'll accept a vial or two of blood or saliva as payment.

Negotiations & Meetings (Rank 5+)

The first order of business is to present your Conclave's terms to the Inner Sanctum, the Draconae's governing body. If you've been voted as a delegate, you'll be greeted by the NPC meeting you (and your partner, if you have one). If you haven't been selected, you can still speak to some of the NPCs available.

A Place at the Table

Negotiations will take place in The Solar on the second day, a hall lit with a fiery orb of light. This is where the Inner Sanctum conducts all of its business. Tightly guarded, you're the first outsiders allowed inside in centuries. Here, you'll have the chance to present your terms and convince the Draconae to accept. You'll also have the first day of your arrival to gather a few details about the NPC you'll be meeting.

Only one meeting is required. The Nether will give you their final answer the following day.

Be sure to reply with the terms before starting the thread. Mods will approve or ask for revisions, so try to submit your points by OCTOBER 17.

Once approved, please TAG IN with your character under the correct faction heading.

Meeting the Inner Sanctum

Members of the Inner Sanctum who are not involved in diplomatic affairs are Aster, The Guardian and Anneth, The Flame. Additional descriptions about the two NPCs and where they can be found will be in their character comments below.

Characters who are Rank 5+ (negative or positive) and who are not acting as delegates can speak with one of the two NPCs above.

To do so, TAG IN with your character under the NPC you want to meet.

Runaway at Pyritean's Rack

Abraxan outsiders will whisper that Pyritean's Rack is a nefarious torture device created by the Draconae for their victims. This is true if the victim in question is delicious meat. The Rack, in other words, is a giant cooking area filled with grilling racks and pits. Shelves of ingredients and spices line the perimeter. Its most striking feature is the primary heat source, which uses magma rather than fire. Ingredients and meat unique to the Nether result in dishes and flavors not found elsewhere. Hot peppers are a popular feature.

The Draconae cook and share their food each night at the Rack. The station is always occupied. Locals take turns hunting and fishing, preparing ingredients, and cooking. Consequently, food is provided without cost. You only need to lend a hand.

Not everything goes smoothly, though. An escaped hatchling has infiltrated the Rack, and Khloris, the baby dragon, is eager to snatch and steal food throughout the week.

Earning the Torch

Impromptu competitions are frequent. They usually begin when one cook sees another outdoing them and makes a challenge. You can either issue a challenge or receive a challenge. Challenges can be between you and the natives, or you can face off with another Summoned. Judging is done by the crowd, which can be chaotic.

Not to worry! There's no downside to losing except your pride. Though the competition can grow fierce and heated in the moment - including vulgar insults and much jeering - once all is said and done, there are no grudges when the food hits the table. Sore losers are looked down on as being thin-skinned.

Winners will receive a jar of spice mix or marinating sauce from one of the many talented cooks. We won't be modding this aspect, so just be realistic with your character's cooking skills. Be sure to work things out with your thread partner if the competition involves another player character!

Escaped Hatchling

One young dragon has escaped its sanctuary at Dragon's Glass. Curious, it's drawn to the smell of food at Pyritean's Rack. As a result, it's disrupting competitions, breaking equipment, and stealing ingredients or even chunks of meat off people's plates. Desperate to get the dragon back before it causes more trouble - or worse, injures itself - the Draconae have asked you to catch the hatchling.

Of course, you'll need to contend with the dragon's unique abilities.

Khloris, the runaway in question, leaves behind small patches of grass. Its pollen dust coats nearly everything it goes near. When eaten or touched, the pollen causes flowers to sprout in your hair for a day or two. It can't fly far or very high, but it's prone to swooping down to snatch meat off the grill. The Flame informs you the dragon can be lured with gold trinkets or bright colors like red and yellow.

To see if your character can catch the dragon, submit for a roll HERE. Submissions will close October 18 at 11:59 ET. Results will be posted on October 19 so players can account for their success or failure.

Ailing Dragons

The two ailing dragons are Hierus, the Obsidian Drake, and Kruos, the Glass Serpent. Mated to each other, they're the only remaining adult dragons in the Nether and have been for decades. When you visit them at Dragon's Glass, their condition is worrisome. The dragons' scales have lost their luster and are grown over with painful white patches. They appear lethargic.

Those researching can offer the dragons healing potions or ointment to aid their symptoms while a cure is worked on. If you're not much of a healer or a scientist, you can feed them or simply spend time with them. The dragons are intelligent and appear capable of understanding you, though they can't communicate directly.

Characters have 3 avenues of participation, depending on their interests and strengths: gathering ingredients, researching the cure, and looking after the baby dragons and eggs. They'll have time to do all three throughout the 10-day excursion.

Finding a Cure

At first, you aren't sure where or how to start. The Draconae suggest the Ashlands may be a place to explore. It's dangerous, they warn, but they have a potion that'll help keep you safe. Due to the hazards, you're told not to go alone. As you travel through the deadened land, you notice an odd phenomenon: where you walk, the air around you clears, and the ground beneath your feet springs to life. You realize you don't need the potion to protect you.

The changes are temporary, fading behind you as you walk. Curiously, the effect you exhibit is similar to what the Draconae claim their dragons are capable of - though to a much smaller degree. Still, you have to wonder if you and the dragons share a similar magical connection to the Singularity. You can't help but notice that those of you who regularly interact with the Horizon and have been doing so for a while seem to affect your environment more. Your aura may be a little larger and the vicinity restored around you lasts a bit longer rather than melting away immediately - maybe even up to a minute or two.

Restoration and Gathering

Your ability to restore the land has unlocked a vital element. Ingredients once thought lost can now be gathered by the Summoned such as yourself, and they may hold the key to curing the dragons. Bring back these ingredients to your peers waiting at Dragon's Glass. The more you gather, the more they'll be able to research and experiment, so don't be shy about making multiple trips.

There are three sections for you to explore. Each one has its dangers and a specific ingredient to collect.

Due to its circumstances, Aetherie is only available on Day 9 of the event, shortly before the cure is finalized. The Draconae will seal the area once more when they realize what's happening. Cinder's Core and Featherhive are open for the full duration of the event.

◎ Cinder's Core

Filled with petrified trees and fossilized bones, the area that restores around you demonstrates its previous life as a flourishing rainforest: the humidity grows, the grass turns lush, and tropical flowers sprout under your fingertips. Although its sulfuric air won't affect you, you'll need to brave dangerous heights to reach the tops of trees and dried-up waterfall cliffs to retrieve the kydros fruit. The fruit smells like citrus and is surprisingly light despite its size.

Vines brought back to life can help you climb, forming ropes for you to climb and bridges that weave beneath your feet. They'll wither once more behind you, so you'll want to move quickly to avoid losing your footing. Height isn't the only danger - the ground below is littered with sharp skeletal protrusions and jagged trees. Beware of dangerous thorn bushes that will come to life in your presence and try to crush you in their spiny embrace as you ascend.

◎ Featherhive

The air here is too toxic for the Draconae to breathe in for long. Luckily you're unaffected. Scattered across the ground are the remaining husks of birds' nests. A dragon's skeleton curls under a rocky overhang. Use your restorative ability to journey deep into Featherhive's heart. Pushing aside the thick overgrowth reveals a small clearing covered in bright crystals for you to harvest.

Although Featherhive poses no physical danger, the land is haunted by shadow birds, ethereal spirits connected to the dragons - and you. As you pass through, they flutter around you and parrot familiar lines to each other. Their movements are jerky and strange. Quickly, you realize the birds are mimicking your memories. They might replicate an entire scene or echo a phrase or two that's plagued you all your life. Or, if you're lucky, they're merely repeating your grocery list. Shooing them will cause them to dissipate into smoke, but they'll soon return.

◎ Aetherie

The loss of a dragon released a noxious gas through this village without warning. Escaping villagers were forced to leave behind those they could not save and seal the doors. The Oblivion is a painful moment in history for many, and none have set foot near the area since. Near the end of your stay, the Draconae request you use your ability to venture where they can't and gather Anoix pods, powerful healing seeds from a plant that only grew in Aetherie. They believe the abandoned huts will contain pouches of the pods on shelves and cabinets.

Entering the village, you expect a tragic scene of corpses. Instead, you find something far worse. The dead have mutated into grotesque arachnids, limbs fused to bulbous abdomens. They show no signs of recognition or awareness and attack you on sight. Hidden in the depths of the purple haze, rat-sized spiders scurry forth. Their venom causes painful sores that will fester and spread if left untreated. Multiple bites may result in temporary blindness or paralysis of a limb. Luckily, this will clear up within 24 hours to a few days, depending on the severity.

Grab the pods if you can or flee if you're overwhelmed. When word reaches The Warden, she'll rapidly send her people to reseal the abandoned village and come to aid any who need it. If you're injured, The Flame and her apprentices will tend to you at Dragon's Glass.

Research and Magic

Dragon's Glass is a glass-domed temple said to be forged from the fires of Kruos. It's located in the Spiral, which is outside the Obsidian Heart. Here, the two remaining dragons reside while ill, along with their clutch of eggs and a few precious hatchlings.

Anneth, The Flame, will invite you into the temple's alchemy labs, where you can apply your skills and knowledge to create the healing elixir that cures the dragons. Doing so requires you to experiment with key ingredients found in the Ashlands. You'll have access to basic alchemy books and apprentices at the temple. Use any additional tools, supplies, and knowledge you possess, and take advantage of the resources donated by the factions.

How you approach your research is up to you, but each ingredient comes with a set of risks - so be careful while you work!

◎ The kydros fruit contains seeds that will explode when heated, causing a chain reaction like popped popcorn. The explosions aren't large, but they might scorch your supplies. Crushing them in the open air results in a similar chemical reaction. However, soaking them in water makes them soften into mush, allowing you to turn the seeds into a paste that could be useful. The fruit is similar to grapefruit and is excellent for a sore throat.

◎ The crystals come in three colors: red, blue, and black. Extended contact will dye your skin that color. The stains are extraordinarily stubborn, so your clothes may not recover. These crystals resonate with a strange hum that suggests they respond well to magic spells. Combining them with a liquid will give off a foul-smelling smoke, so you may need to find ways to neutralize the stench before combining it into an elixir.

◎ The Anoix pods must be used sparingly, as no more can be gathered from Aetherie. They possess strong healing properties, but each pod is very delicate and must be split open with care so as not to damage the soft seeds inside. In addition to researching the cure, you can also attempt to help the Dracaone grow new Anoix plants using the preserved seeds.

The final cure will use all 3 key ingredients. Don't worry too much about continuity! As long as your character participated, you can assume they made a valuable contribution.

However, to assist with coordination, we've provided a RESEARCH DISCOVERY section where you can present any findings your character would share with others in-game.

Hatchlings and Eggs

While curing the adult dragons is a priority, the hatchlings and eggs aren't to be neglected. Baby dragons are active troublemakers, and without their parents to keep them in line, they've become especially unruly. The apprentices at the temple can only do so much. The Keeper has even made rare appearances in Dragon's Glass to lend his assistance.

Meanwhile, the eggs are beginning to show signs of affliction. The shells are beginning to weaken, and the feathery growths appearing on them will suffocate the hatchling inside if left untreated.

Babysitting the Dragons

If you have a spare moment, you can look after the baby dragons. Keep them out of trouble by reading their favorite stories, singing songs, and playing with them. They'll also need to be fed, watered, and their bedding changed or fluffed. The hatchlings are mischievous but friendly. They're eager to bond with the Summoned for reasons unexplained, as if they feel something resonating within you.

Many are attracted to shiny objects and bright colors and will attempt to steal them. Conversely, they might gift you a trinket that they've pilfered from someone else. The local Draconae would appreciate it if you returned any missing tools or jewels.

Hatchlings you'll encounter in Dragon's Glass are:

◎ Okenus spouts water instead of flame. Bearing fins instead of wings, this sea dragon is vital to bringing lakes and rivers back to the Nether. Currently, it can only make tiny puddles and rainclouds. Watch that your belongings don't get wet. Standing near the dragon might cause a small storm cloud to spawn over you and rain down on your head. A simple spell will make the cloud disappear, but if you don't have any magic, you might have to bring an umbrella.

◎ Epeius can form miniature gusts of wind beneath its wings, but it doesn't have firm control and frequently spawns them when excited. These small dust devils and whirlwinds will follow you around. Though they aren't powerful, they can be a nuisance, knocking over cups, blowing away hats, and sending papers flying. The other hatchlings will find your misfortune a source of amusement.

◎ Ledas can help salt deposits form in the shape of large salt crystals. Salt is important to the Draconae, which the hatchling is aware of and thus takes great pride in its abilities. The crystals can be eaten as is or crushed into granules. Ledas will strive to impress you with the largest crystals that it can make...which occasionally results in the structure collapsing, littering the ground with salt. You might find yourself sweeping often around this dragon, but at least you'll never be short on seasoning.

◎ Anthusa is a very special hatchling that creates bioluminescent algae. The algae grow on its scales, forming a symbiotic relationship. Unfortunately, without a proper habitat for this algae in the Nether, its glow has dimmed in recent years and the hatchling has become languid and sickly despite its youth. Nonetheless, Anthusa is friendly and curious even if it struggles to keep up with its siblings. You can help Anthusa play by lifting it to heights it can't reach, and carrying it back when the dragon is too tired to walk.

Weakened Eggs

As noted, the eggs demonstrate signs of suffering, too. Three eggs are waiting to be hatched. Whether all of the eggs survive is dependent on the decision that each faction Conclave made regarding resources found, as well as the help provided by you and your fellow Summoned.

The eggs can't be cured until the dragons are cured, but you can help slow the growths by gently scraping them off and wiping the eggs regularly with a clean cloth. They must also be kept heated, so check the magma frequently and refill any magma basins. The growths can be donated to those researching for additional study if you wish.

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Comments

[thedevilwhorose]

Hey, hey! Indiscriminate murder could've been nostalgic for you, I don't know. [Too soon? Probably too soon.] It's always good to check. [For what someone can get away with.] But fine, fine.

An addendum to family drama: bringing shit back to other family members--I'm so tired of gossip and Gabriel makes everything worse. [Gabriel here makes everything Complicated and confusing.]

[righteously]

( Lucifer earns himself a long, flat stare — really, here they are brokering a peace treaty and the first thing out of this asshole's mouth is a reference to Dean's bleak ass murder spree? Never change, Lucifer. Shine on, you crazy annoying blood diamond that nobody likes.

He is so utterly riddled with fatigue so very abruptly; he can only barely bring himself to sigh. )

Yeah, sure, fine. Whatever. I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

( Because he doesn't talk to Lucifer's brothers, like, ever, if he can help it. Cas excluded, he's in a different category.

He adjusts his pack on his shoulder a little impatiently, even though he's the one that called this meeting into session. )

Let's just get this over with. The sooner we get it done, the sooner I can lava-bath the regret stank off.

[thedevilwhorose]

Optimistic that lava's going to clean that off. [His commentary is light though, less jeering than it likely would be on a "normal" day and that's... probably because Lucifer is already moving ahead, focused on their surroundings instead of Dean (though he misses the land behind him sprouted up with life).

Dean could still try to rudely stab him in the metaphorical back, but it would get him a lightning shield popping up around Lucifer as a result and not be a good time for Dean.

Either way, Lucifer's not concerned. He had told Istredd as much.

He whispers under his breath the ancient tongue associated with Academic magic and two eerie soft-white lights drift ahead of them to cast shadows over dilapidated buildings and the twitch of mutated limbs skittering out and disappearing.] Huh. [He tilts his head.] Fun. Grab and go, then.

[He does, actually, draw his blade from the sheathe tucked under tunics at his back. And just in case Dean gives him a strange look because it looks like he's holding nothing, he nicks a finger along the blade, the blood causing the illusions hiding the weapon to drop. And then he briskly moves for the nearest building.

Follow or divide-and-conquer, Dean, he doesn't particularly care.]

[righteously]

( As much as he would love to claim the moral high ground and act like he was totally above stabbing somebody in the back — yeah, no, realistically that's totally not true. You do what you gotta do when you're a human stuck fighting in a world of supernaturally juiced up creatures that want to kill you and wear your bones as earrings or whatever, and he'd totally shank a mofo while their back was turned.

Just not Lucifer, not here, not now. Not after their truce, which is something he does honor. A moment like that, with a handshake and a feeling, is worth something to him, so. No lightning shield zaps imminent. At least, not today.

He watches Lucifer's whole display thoughtfully from a few paces behind him, brow furrowed faintly, eyes narrowed in keen consideration. So, Lucifer has an invisible short blade and he knows the Dancing Lights cantrip. Two little factoids to amend on the little info sheet profile Dean's keeping on the guy. Interesting.

He follows — in part because it's always better to have a second set of eyes that aren't trying to kill you when you're in unfamiliar monster territory, even if you don't necessarily trust those eyes (thus the entire premise behind the beginning of his relationship with Benny) — and in part because he's curious what else Lucifer's got up his sleeve.

He draws his own sword, with no particularly fancy magic to reveal it or to light the area. All his magic is combat-oriented, it'll come about later.

Or, maybe sooner, judging by the way the hairs at the back of his neck start to stand up.

After a beat, he murmurs softly: )

You feel that?

( The unmistakable sensation that they're being watched? )

(making my way)

[thedevilwhorose]

[It's not Dancing Lights, thank you. It is a very normal Academic Magic, base Thorne spell, that he has adapted over his time here and study into Academic Magic to be able to split into more than one, mobile, simple burst of light and--

Goddammit, it's Dancing Lights.

Whatever!

He doesn't need light to see by, this is for Dean's benefit, you're welcome.] I generally feel 'that.' [It's said offhand, but it's such a normal sensation in Thorne, sorry. What are you talking about?

He does hear something though. A shifting of walls.

Once upon a time--and really, it was 'necessary' (and hilarious, to him) Lucifer shifted a house and tried to bring it down on Kell and Rhy to get them to hurry up so They Could Go. Sorry about that now, Kell.

But he knows the sound well enough.

He's pocketing one of the small bulbs from a dusty shelf when his gaze snaps back on a corner of the building they're in, to the split crack and mold of paneling, pulled away to reveal a fused bug-appendage-with-human-arm making its way through--] Watch it! [--and reaching for the juicy human.

Another shift, and Lucifer looks up at the ceiling, sighs, and reaches up to grab the writhing mess coming out with a hand (oddly, the one with the blade) to grab and pull the amalgamated creature out and down and through his other fist in a... awfully disturbing display.]

[righteously]

( Dean, in his perpetually Batman'd up hunter-y wisdom, has tucked away in his bag a solution to the dimness occluding this town. Lucifer's happy little cantrip does keep him from having to dig out the nerdy ass Steampunk night vision goggles and strapping them on his face, but he's unlikely to express a single iota of gratitude.

What he does bother expressing is a mild, vague sort of surprise as Lucifer reaches up and full-on rips the worst interpretation of the term Spider-Man through a crack in the ceiling, down an entire floor to land on the dirt-packed earth at their feet. It's half dude, half arachnid, all disgusting as it hits the ground in a tangle of limbs and snapped appendages and blood-adjacent fluid born from pulling seven feet of humanoid through three feet of crown molding hole.

After a beat, he lowers his sword and blithely the decrees: )

Slimy, yet... satisfying.

( Hanukkah Matata. And then, an amendment: )

But mostly gross.

( Wait — did Lucifer just do him a solid and — in maybe the loosest definition of the term — protect him from something? Wow. What a turn of events this is. Dragon Tales land is the freakin' twilight zone. )

I hope you're not expecting a medal or a cookie or something, because I'm fresh out.

[thedevilwhorose]

[Never any gratitude for all he's accidentally done for humanity! Got y'all kicked out freed from Eden and out from under God's thumb! You're welcome! His Hatred for y'all--probably, maybe--ultimately saved you!

He shakes out his arm but mostly seems fine with the guts coating him.

Extremely Satisfying.

And not even recognizing Dean as a factor.

Which is............. Extremely Annoying.

He's too accustomed to partnering with people from Thorne. Which, aside from that One House Time, he tries to keep those people alive. For whatever reason. He likes them or they're a pet project or that he's just more likely to get in trouble if they die under his watch.

That he's not with someone in Thorne and that he genuinely helped out this waste-of-space man that could easily have saved himself is...

Wrong.

So, so wrong.

But he's not expecting a medal.

He does (unfortunately for Dean and................. also unfortunately for himself, welp) lick a portion of the bug guts off his arm, intrigued. This is the guy that was also intrigued by how Geralt's Horizon Blood tastes and is really interested in how Geralt's Actual Blood tastes.] I don't need anything from you.





[Wow, that is gross.]

[righteously]

( If he had even the slightest, faintest, mildest inkling to express any sincere gratitude after his stupid mouth-offery, it is utterly obliterated when he watches Lucifer lick the bug guts off his arm. )

Did you just-

( He starts, only to cut himself off enough to vocally, theatrically dry heave. He peels away, raising a sword-filled hand up to cover his mouth so he can, once again, very loudly gag on air as he replays it in his brain.

Ew. Just. All the ew. So disgusting. Bodily fluids, in the mouth, so gross, what the hell, Jesus Christ dude. )

-the hell's the matter with you, that's unsanitary. Do you want spider-salmonella? Because that's how you get-

( Before he can finish, a whole-ass spider-person face shoves its head through the gaping hole in the ceiling, hissing ferociously at him. He yelps, and then reflex-swings his sword, beheading the god damn thing. The body slumps, plugging the hole. The head rolls slowly to a stop at Lucifer's feet.

After a beat, he points his sword at it and declares: )

So help me god, if you lick that, I'm stabbing you in the face.

[thedevilwhorose]

I have very few things left to me as an archangel in this place [as he had been Very Adamant on their annoying, recent mass braintext post about 'angels' and Lucifer Unhappy about the lack of differentiation between it and 'arch'angel] ironclad stomach is one of them. [He knows where his arm has been, thank you. It's likely not.... particularly great for a sanitation score but...

But that isn't the point.

Lucifer's arm isn't a health violation.

He's Divine, thank you, vessel and all.] I don't know what you're so up in arms about, your ancestors have gone through numerous situations for the creatures they've killed and the plants they've pulled apart to decide if something could be edible or changed into a way that they could be.

[They likely didn't put their arms through their kills.

He pockets another pod like he's grocery shopping and there isn't a twisted being plugging a hole near him.

He is very, very tempted to lick it. But Istredd's already sewn him up once from a Dean-Related Encounter, he doesn't need to do it a second time.]

[righteously]

My dumbass monkey-brained ancestors-

( He starts, some weird combination of disdainful and annoyed, only to stop himself when he hears a thump upstairs. The head and still-dripping neck jutting through the hole over their heads gives a lurch, and then another. At first, he halfway thinks it's the corpse about to shamble back to life again.

And then he recognizes the skittering noises happening in a short radius around the corpse, followed by the wet-clicking-disgusting sounds that can only be ingestion, and he harshly whispers: )

Are they eating it?

( Wow, as if things couldn't get even more disgusting. He gestures toward the ceiling with his sword. )

Can you go up there and, I don't know, like... flash Grace at them while they're distracted? Do a little tiny spider genocide while they're busy munching on mom?

[thedevilwhorose]

[You said the 'dumbass' part, not him.

See, he was right about Humanity.] Probably. [Eating it, that is. Again, re: the 'dumbass' part of Dean's sentence. Humanity merged with arachnids are still half human. Y'all fucking figured out kombucha and want to call him the devil, what do you expect.

How. How.

Unrelated, he pauses his 'dragon cure grocery shopping' to glare at Dean.] I'm not a flashbang, thanks. How 'bout we make you bait and I'll kill everything that guns for you.

[righteously]

( He said what he said, okay. He is well aware that Neanderthal humans went around doing weird shit like eating the eggs that fell out of chickens or arbitrarily deciding to drink the white stuff that came out of the saggy creepy cow bags, but damn it, they've evolved as a species. Credit where it's due, okay??

He would, however, argue that the half-humanoid arachnid things here are actually half Draconae rather than half human, and thereefore his species shouldn't be thrown under the bus for this one.

Kombucha's all humanity, though, and a gross very recent trend. He has no defense for that. That stuff's freaking disgusting. )

Why should I be bait? The corpse is already bait. You could just- do the- you know-

( He pantomimes light beams exploding from his eyeballs and mouth hole. Like a toddler.

Followed by a petulant grumble under his breath: )

Cas would do it in like three seconds and wipe out the whole freakin' nest.

[thedevilwhorose]

You're fresh meat. [Duh.] And anyway, where's the fun in that?

[Lucifer seems truly offended at the idea of not getting up close and personal with his murder which is true but also how dare Castiel be allowed to be back his lightshow capabilities when Lucifer is lucky he can snap some parlor tricks when he's so accustomed to irradiating his surroundings.]

[righteously]

( He rolls his eyes for probably, like, the millionth time in the last twenty minutes. )

Ugh, whatever. I'll deal with it myself, you just stay here and don't...

( He gestures vaguely with one hand, while his other quickly flips his sword into position. )

Ruin anything.

( Time to head for the stairs, a determined frown on his face. Who needs backup anyway. )

[thedevilwhorose]

Sure making yourself look like bait to me!

[To be fair the last time he technically was going to act as bait, well, the result was him nearly being out of commission for a good month.

So.

Yeah.

And! Sure! These things haven't seem to be wearing any arcana but!

He's not particularly interested in 'putting himself out there' when there's no reason to, certainly not for the Winchester. What would only make things worse is for him to sit back and fold his arms to avoid 'ruining anything' (screw you, pal), but he does continue to rifle through shelving and cabinets for any pouches of the pods.]

[righteously]

( He doesn't turn around at that pleasant call; the only answer he deigns to give is to lift his free hand and flip Lucifer the bird for a fleeting handful of seconds. So what if he's right, screw him. It's not bait if you also plan on murdering everything yourself, okay.

He disappears up the stairs and around the bannister.

Above Lucifer's head, out of view of the camera, comes several things in quick succession:

A thump.
Another thump.
A Winchester-sounding voice going ew, gross, seriously, what the hell, that's so gross-
A thwack.
A flood of beaming grace-like light that shines between the dusty cracks and grooves.
The sound of something heavy slamming into the wall on the far side of the room.
A groan, and then a cough, and then a, "Son of a Bitch."
A pony-sized spider body goes flopping down the stairs.

Two or three seconds of silence, which is finally broken with: )

No! Bad! Bad spider. Drop it! Drop it!

[thedevilwhorose]

[(It's still bait.)

Meanwhile, to everything going on above, Lucifer is whistling a little off-key ditty, minding his own business.

He glances over to the stairs at the bouncing dead spider rolling down, his tune drawing out, and expects to see a second spider body. Doesn't. Sighs at Dean's continued breathing fight chatter.

Breaks off his whistling (sounds annoyed about it), calls out in lulled mockery:] Having some trouble? [He slings his bag back over his shoulder, pods collected, and watches the stairs with more care than his voice is letting off. He doesn't need any surprises.]

[righteously]

Nope! I'm good.

( He calls back, in a strained voice that sounds very much like that of a man having some trouble.

It's just that the stupid spider stole his sword and is scuttling around the room like a fucking toddler on high octane crack cocaine while its buddy tries repeatedly to bite Dean's throat out with venomous fangs.

Fortunately for his survival rate, but unfortunately for his existential crisis about his own humanity, he doesn't need to rely on weapons as much anymore now that he can do weird magic and Witcher bullshit.

A second later, the spider at his throat is blasted back with one struggle-bus Aard sign. It does not flop down the stairs so much as yeet down it, crashing to Lucifer's feet still half-alive and struggling to right itself.

Dean, meanwhile, goes back to chasing Crack Toddler Fetch Spider, trying to snatch the hilt of his sword from it before it can scoot out the window and steal it entirely. )

[thedevilwhorose]

[Lucifer steps on the spider at his feet, a loud squelch as he wiggles his boot side to side to really get through the guts.] Sure sounding like it! [He idly picks at his nails with his blade, humming.

That he doesn't just walk out and go to the next hovel is the real winner here. He knows he can't go into a creepy undead spider village with Dean and leave without him. He's capable of lying to Istredd but he'd rather avoid those gymnastics.] Come on, champ, isn't this your day job!

[He nods his head side to side, still humming. Hears a couple thunks, a sputter, the sound of a sword blade dragging across floorboards. Debates.

Sighs.

Rolls his head back.

He has other things to be doing.

This is more annoying than the time he did it to Dean by mistake once. Points a finger above where he hears a window break and overlays a Bless on Dean. If asked later, he'll say it was hysterical that Dean 'needed' his help (he doesn't, more than likely he'd figure it out), but Dean will also know that Lucifer gave him a pick-me-up, and he'll hate that.]

[righteously]

( A second or two after Lucifer casts bless, there are two noises in rapid succeession. Both of them from Dean. The first, a triumphant sounding: )

HA!

( And then, a second later, a disgruntled, vaguely annoyed: )

Eeeewwww.

( The latter is not disgust about the spider guts for once. He appears shortly thereafter at the top of the stairs, his sword hanging limply from one hand, hair in disarray, clothes absolutely spattered with bug gore. He descends them one bow-legged heel-first stomp at a time, frowning unhappily at Lucifer. )

Did you magic me? I feel- like- spiritually tainted with your musk, or something.

( That is the most accurate, grossest way he knows how to describe the sensation. )

[thedevilwhorose]

It's Abraxan magic, IE the Singularity, IE it sounds like a you problem. [Get Over Yourself, buddy.

He's already turning and moving for the door.] I cleared out the pods here. Let's go. [Looks both ways before crossing the noxious road, and heads for the next house.] I suppose you won't work as bait anymore, all dressed up like them with their guts as you are. [The second door doesn't open, rusted hinges and wood rotting together with the doorframe. A quick, hard, shouldering into it get the door to move open, and then seconds later he's slamming the door closed again and stepping back as fangs sink into the door instead of him.

Lucifer smacks his lips.] They're not decent for accepting visitors. [He says, jokingly.]

[righteously]

( He doesn't care whether it's Abraxan magic IE the Singularity IE Santa Clause IE whatever, if it came from Lucifer it's inherently gross, and he needs a very long very hot bleach shower to get the icky magic particles out of his cells and atoms and crap.

Fortunately, he gets a delightful treat in the form of comedic fang-timing. Lucifer opens the door. Lucifer quickly slams the door shut. Teeth splinter into the wood. Dean points and lets out one obnoxious Nelson laugh at his expense.

Just a shame those archangel reflexes are so on-point. A little lite mauling would have been cathartic to witness.

Anyway, screw that door. They'll go onto the next one. Dean learns from Lucifer's mistakes and, rather than opening it, raps his knuckles, politely calling out: )

Jehova's Witness. Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

[thedevilwhorose]

[There's Other People that would argue the Inherently Gross part, thank you.

Okay. There's one person, thank you.

Who is not here at the moment and that's why Lucifer is rolling his eyes at having to put up with this man, but Dean can get fangs to his throat the next time that door opens, by them or the creature.

(He is not getting any enjoyment out of this mostly-decent trip, surely.)

He glances behind them when it's clear the 'resident' inside is going to do what any reasonable entity would do when faced with a knock from Jehova's Witness: ignore it and pretend not to be home, ignore the shuffleshuffleskitter sounds, go away.] Have you acquired any nature abilities on top of your Angel Envy?

[He's noticing the path they've taken to get here. An odd trail of life springing up in the dead environment, the edges slowly fading back to what they had been.]

[righteously]

Do I look like a wood nymph to you?

( He retorts back immediately, before he even knows what the hell Lucifer's going on about. Only after he's said it does he bother to turn and follow Lucifer's eye line, to the trail of plant growth trailing behind him, slowly withering and dying again.

There's a little ahh of understanding, and he shakes his head. )

Oh, yeah, that. I don't know what's up with that, it's... something about this place. It's been doing that since we got here, and it's not just me. I think it's most of us. We've been here for days, you're seriously just now picking up on it?

[thedevilwhorose]

You're lacking your flannel in this world, I suppose. [Does that mean he's calling Dean a wood nymph if he was in flannel?

Yes.] I pay attention to what's in front of me. [Why would he both looking behind?? He's a predator.

There's another loud crash from the inside.] You know, I don't think they're interested.