abraxaslogs | [OPEN] november/december catchall

[ honestly, steve had been planning on coming out here some time ago - aloy had made her offer a couple of times, and he'd taken it to heart each time she did. and he's thought about it, time and time again. why hasn't he made it out there already? well, really, a couple of things - but they all end up sounding like excuses that aren't actually good enough.

the main reason is that steve was partially worried he'd die on the way there. and then they had the huge get together out near her place, and he felt...stupid, actually, for being so terrified. plus, it's aloy. and he likes hanging with aloy. there's really no issue when it comes to how much or how little he's able to handle because she's never really made him feel bad either way.

steve gives her an easy smile when she says thanks and steps in next to her, mirroring her stand and digging his heels in to push as she counts. it doesn't take much when it's the two of them getting the piling in place. ]

Shit, seriously? [ he asks as he stands, picking a bit of the twigs and leaves from his hair and wiping off his sleeves. ] All from the party? I should have come early, sorry.

Why are you sorry?

[There had been enough work done in the aftermath that Aloy wasn't too upset about it--and besides, it wasn't anyone's fault, really. With Steve's help, it's only a bit of effort to push the post upright.]

It was a good excuse to reinforce everything.

[Which is apparently what she's doing, not necessarily building anything from scratch. When the piling seems to be stable, she steps back, wiping her hands on her pants.]

Do you want to come in for a minute?

[That's. That's the polite thing to do, right? Or maybe she's just gauging Steve's desire to Get Down to Business.]

'cause I could have been helping before now?

[ no, it wasn't anyone's fault. and steve knows aloy doesn't really mind the whole 'doing everything on her own' bit, but he still feels bad. he was definitely part of the group who sorta wrecked the place.

he goes to stand next to her, looking up at the piling and seeing...nothing of note. he has no clue if it's right or even correct, but aloy seems content enough with it so that's a win.

the offer pulls his attention away from the twig-plucking. ] Oh- yeah, actually. That'd be awesome. [ aka, he's in no real rush to get down to business. he's here, so he knows it'll happen, but. yeah.

also he's pretty sure he never actually went inside her place during the party? ] I'm not interrupting anything though, right? I'm happy to help if you wanna keep working.

[Aloy fixes him with a look that says she finds the sentiment ridiculous. She can certainly take care of her own compound, and Steve has other things to do. The destruction wrought by the gathering was not necessarily the fault of the gatherers, and it's water under the bridge at this point.

She shrugs, tilting her head in the direction of the cabin to invite him inside.]

Just chores.

[Which she's not going to make him do. Aloy isn't much of a host, but she and Steve are friends, which makes this easier.]

I can give you some things to take back to the settlement. How are things out there?

[ steve receives the look loud and clear, tossing his hands up in the air a bit defensively. okay, okay. understood. still, part of him makes a note to...what. check in more? he guesses? he knows aloy is out here on her on by choice, but still.

he follows as she starts walking, not quite able to help himself as his eyes wander around them. he can pick out bits and pieces of the obstacle course, the various things aloy's built around her place, etc. it's just...really impressive. ]

That's good. [ honestly, steve would probably try and start helping with those if she gave him any indication of what they were. ] Oh- yeah totally. Happy to take stuff back. [ and then, at his question, steve kind of sighs - rubs a hand back through his hair in a very casual and kind of subconscious manner. aloy has seen the habit before. ] Fine? Dunno. Guess it's been kinda quiet lately, which I don't... I don't know. It feels weird. Like we're building up to something. Wanda and Nero are out at their new treehouse thing which is like a day and some change away, and... [ he shrugs. ] I feel like I blinked and the Primary Settlement is all people I don't know? New Summoned people, I mean. It's weird.

[ steve's not used to being antisocial, exactly, but it's also possible he just hasn't really gotten his footing yet after the whole....gestures at being kidnapped and experimented on by a cult. he's been a bit more slow going but steve also doesn't seem all that upset about it either. ]

Isar Har's got the council seat, if you remember that guy.

I figure it's the least I can do.

[Considering she only occasionally stops by--but she wants to make sure the civilians are taken care of, especially given recent happenings. Sure, the supernatural nature of the settlements and these woods are hard to get around, but she doesn't think the presence of the Summoned is helping, actually. Henry's recent shenanigans are proof enough of that.]

Yeah, I remember him. [But she doesn't really want to pay attention to the politics of all this. Maybe he's an improvement over the literal cultist, but she's not going to get her hopes up.] Do you ever think you might move out? Like Wanda and Nero.

I feel like you do plenty, but I get it.

[ he misses seeing her around, even if she was never really always around to begin with. it's just...it feels a lot like the summer after he graduated, where everything and everyone he knew just sort of started to scatter - leaving him behind once again.

which, okay, dramatic. he knows. which is why he shakes his head out of the thoughts. he's 90% of the reason why this is all happening, he knows that too, so there's no real use complaining about it. ]

He's kinda cool. Not bad at public speaking. Pretty sure he's gonna move out to the Tertiary Settlement since he's supposed to be representing them and is actually from the Secondary? [ he shrugs, in that way where he doesn't care about politics but can't help but pick up on the drama. you can take a kid from the small town, but can't take the small town from the kid.

aloy's question pulls him out of whatever string of thoughts he'd been preparing to follow up with - mostly because where it comes to aloy, he's pretty used to filling silence. ] Huh? Oh. Uh. [ a.k.a. the question catches him entirely off-guard. it shouldn't, he'd literally just been thinking about it, but here they are.

and now he has to think about it. the idea of moving out into the middle of relative nowhere, about leaving the primary settlement behind. for whatever reason, his stomach tenses at the thought. ] I don't know. I'm not... [ he gesticulates a bit, trying to find the words. ] I don't think I'd do great away from a Settlement, or...people. I don't have your skills or like, Wanda's powers. I mean, I'm not even that good at cooking for myself. [ because steve can't help but sprinkle in that small amount of self deprecation. he huffs a laugh, shrugs again. ] Dunno. Maybe? I'm not against it but...why?

Anything's an improvement, right?

[Over Josselyn, she means, though she's not so naive as to think the new guy couldn't be worse. It will be, however, hard to beat a mass kidnapping and torturing of both Summoned and civilians. But as long as they aren't summoning gods and hurting people, Aloy doesn't care what the Council does, not really.

She can tell the question is something Steve hasn't thought of before--or maybe he has. Aloy watches him carefully, folding her arms.]

Enough of us are out here now that you could still be near friends. [That said, she understands if Steve is not up to the task of homesteading.] If there's anything you want to learn, though, I can teach you.

[ steve shrugs. ]

Guess we'll find out.

[ again, he's more invested in this from a gossip standpoint than anything distinctly governmental. he doesn't really ever want to be involved with anything political at all, not after knowing what his mom has gone through before. still- it's interesting, but it's also solvunn. there's no telling what'll happen.

aloy's attention on him has steve...not wilting, exactly, but he's suddenly unsure if she's looking for a specific answer. ] I mean, yeah, kinda. But it's still far... though everything is kind of far so that doesn't change anything. Would you even want me to move out here? It'd mess up your whole... [ more gesturing around them. ] Alone time. Thing.

[ which, whether he means it to or not, has steve thinking. his expression shifts to something thoughtful. ]

Hey- can I ask you a question?

I'm not inviting you to live with me.

[Just nearby. Maybe closer to Wanda and Nero, if she's being honest, but she also can't blame Steve for wanting the relative safety and security of the Settlement. After a minute, she offers a shrug as if to tell him not to worry about it.]

Sure. What's up?

What? No- that's not what I meant! [ omg aloy no please don't think he's someone who would just invite himself into your home. he can hear his mother already, yelling at him about manners and being awkward.

he shakes his head. ] Just- out here. In general. If I was closer I would probably bother you a lot more for training and shit. I don't know. [ and that seems to be the summary of this situation.

steve runs a hand back through his hair - though really, aloy has a point. closer to wanda and nero would make a lot more sense. and may or may not be something he is kind of always considering. he just...doesn't want to be a burden.

sure and steve lets out a breath. ] Did you always like being alone? Like...were you always fending for yourself like this? Back home.

I was kidding.

[She says that with a wry smile that indicates he should have known this. Whatever he decides, however, she'll be happy to support, even if she knows she isn't very good at showing it, at times. It's easy to tell that Steve thinks he might be a bother, so at the very lest she can let him know that's not the case. He wouldn't be invited here if it was.

That said, Aloy supposes it was only a matter of time before he asked something like this. She's said precious little about her own past, and still finds it difficult to talk about herself, even if she has no reason to hide. The furrow of her brows at Steve's question says as much.]

I grew up an outcast, so. I got used to it. [She understands that sounds a little distressing, so she's quick to shrug it off. Aloy isn't really bothered by that anymore, even if a part of her will always be embittered by what the Matriarchs did to her in the name of superstition. She's met enough good people, however, to be less soured by the Nora recently.] But, before I came here, I was...with friends.

[ . . . ]

So are you inviting me to live with you or...?

[ there is a second, maybe even two, where steve's expression is flat and curious and on aloy before he breaks out into a smile. just in case she didn't realize he can also joke around about this stuff from time to time. because really, he does know that he and aloy are (somehow) friends. or, at the very least, she likes him enough to invite him to her home.

he considers them friends, even if she is hugely more badass than he is. it's fine, it's not that different (except extremely different) than hanging with nancy. it's cool. and really, if she had very simply said she didn't want to talk about it, steve would have been happy to move on.

honestly, steve's a bit surprised she does answer. where before steve had been vaguely curious and okay with not knowing, the brief mention of some of her history now has his full attention. ] What d'you mean with friends? Like in a commune? Or more like roommates?

[This time she doesn't even respond, rolling her eyes and letting out a huff of air that might be a laugh. It's chased away quickly, however, by further questions--not that she minds, them, really, it just reminds her of what she's supposed to be doing, back home. How it still doesn't sit right with her, that she's settled down here instead of fighting tooth and nail to get back.

Even her excuse that she's protecting the other Summoned and the people of the Commune feels hollow, when she remembers everyone back at BASE. Explaining it is even more difficult.]

Neither? We had a base of operations, for...something we were working on. I did a lot of traveling, and I picked people up along the way.

[Like-minded individuals who she could trust with her mission. She'd been getting better at that, before arriving here.]

[ success. steve even smiles a bit to himself afterward. and he knows the questions will probably ruin the mood, but he's also...suddenly aware they've been friends, or at the very least on friendly terms, for...well. years at this point. and steve is suddenly very aware he doesn't know much at all about aloy's life back home. ]

Oh... I bet it was cool. Whatever you were working on. And stuff was rough back in your home, right? Like- the world and everything.

[ steve both does and doesn't understand. his home 'world' or whatever still feels normal, compared to all this. but even that's not wholly true, considering the demogorgon and the russians and vecna.

still, aloy is really badass, and you don't just become badass like that overnight. ]

[It wasn't cool, not really, but that seems like an inappropriate thing to say. She lets out a breathy laugh, instead, though it comes off as awkward. Like this is difficult for her to talk about.]

You know. End-of-the-world kind of stuff.

[Both in the past and in their imminent future. It doesn't sit right with her, that she's stuck here, but for once in her life she's not sure what she's supposed to do about it. The way home is a puzzle that even she can't solve.]

What about you?

[An attempt to deflect, maybe, but also an admission that she doesn't really know much about where Steve comes from, either.]

[ oh....so not cool, then. whether its the awkward laugh or just the way that aloy says end-of-the-world that cues steve in.

but somehow, instead of feeling awkward, steve laughs too - less breathy, less awkward, but more...aware. knowing. in his own way. ]

Kind of the same. [ a flash of an empty yard, no body, the sinking feeling of knowing they'd failed and the rest of the upside down crumbling around them. it's been well over a year since steve has been in that moment, and he's done a pretty good job of not thinking about it at all. ] I mean, I wasn't living on any sorta base or anything. I was living at home with my parents. But- right before I got pulled out of the pond...yeah. End-of-the-world kinda stuff, I guess.

Edited (me losing track of years....) 2024-02-01 02:38 (UTC)

I don't think you've ever mentioned that.

[Which is maybe unfair, because she's never mentioned it on her end, either. In fact, this is the most she's said about her own background, she thinks. Maybe this is long overdue, even if Steve's end-of-the-world kind of stuff sounds a bit more mundane.

Doesn't mean it was any less of a threat. Doesn't mean there isn't unfinished business.]

What was it?

I haven't?

[ steve blinks, presses his lips together, and then just sort of shrugs. he supposes it's possible he hasn't, it's not like it's his favorite topic of conversation anyway. and in the same way he realizes he's never really pressed aloy for her deep dark backstory, it just. hasn't been top of mind.

really, if steve had his way, he would probably have hoped no one had to know about it. but the horizon and singularity had a way of forcing it into conversations. ]

Uh- I guess a combo of things? There's this weird upside down realm that my hometown had a gate into, and weird monsters and stuff would come through. For a few years we were able to close it back whenever it opened, but right before I got here, we were trying to kill this sorcerer monster guy who wanted to open it all the way. It would have kinda destroyed the whole world if it he could, but...

[ well. they were trying to stop him. steve trails off with a sort of distant look, before he shakes his head. ]

Not that I remember.

[He's certainly said more about his home and his friends than she has, but though she understands that Steve comes from a fairly typical "Earth", this is the first time he's mentioned some kind of extra-dimensional threat. Aloy's expression is one of slight concern--not that she doesn't think Steve is capable of handling something like that, but she would rather the Earth (any version of it) not be in danger at all.]

But...?

[ huh.

which may be an indicator of a larger thing. said larger thing being that while steve doesn't really consider himself secretive, he also hasn't really offered up all that much in terms of his own life. not where the weird stuff is concerned.

but...? she asks, and steve can't help but let out a sigh, letting a hand thread back through his hair to push it back off his forehead. ]

But I don't know if it worked. If we stopped him or...what. The last thing I remember is going back through the gate to get home and. [ he gestures around them - aka, he was summoned, and woke up naked in a pond. ]

[And then, this. Aloy nods--she's gained some memories, she thinks, since then, but she's not sure if she can even count them. No time passed in Solvunn, and in her own world she's not any closer to finding and stopping Nemesis than she was when she was first pulled here. There's Seyka, of course, but Aloy isn't sure she can believe any of it was real.

But she knows what it's like, to have unfinished business. To not know of the ultimate outcome.]

Do you think that you did it?

[That might give him some peace of mind.]

[ it's a totally valid question to ask, and really, steve should be expecting it even as the explanation leaves his mouth. still, the question - when he hears it - leaves him feeling almost sick to his stomach. ]

I don't know. [ a beat, where steve just sort of stares into the middle distance. ]

I don't know what we'd do if we didn't. If we failed... [ a breath, and then a shrug. ] If we failed, I guess I don't really have a world to go back to.

We can't know if that's true.

[That there would be no world to go back to. If some greater force can bring them here, then nothing is impossible. But Steve is right that the uncertainty of it all is perhaps more distressing to think about.]

Nobody from your home is here, right? Just Eddie?

[And if Eddie knew anything from beyond Steve's point in time, they wouldn't be having this conversation.]

Maybe.

[ except that steve is pretty convinced it is. he doesn't want to argue about it, though - not when there's very little he can do about it. he takes a long breath and tries to push the heaviness of the thought away. ]

Yeah- just Eddie. And he- [ steve cuts himself off, suddenly self-conscious about whether or not it's his place to say anything at all.

but he remembers how eddie has been acting about the whole thing, and it's also aloy. she's kind of on steve's short list of people he's pretty comfortable spilling everything to by now. ] He's dead. Or- shit. [ wow! he's bad at this! and that crushing feeling in his chest isn't going away! ] He dies, back home, before we all made it through the gate. Before I made it through. So... he wouldn't know.

[ steve wonders, briefly, is this is ever going to get any easier. he doubts it. so instead he just kind of shrugs. ]

[OPEN] november/december catchall

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

wrapping?