cointosser: ([014])
Jaskier "old-timey fuckboy" Alfred Pankratz ([personal profile] cointosser) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs2021-10-01 09:35 pm

[ CLOSED ] when I'm like this, you're the one I trust

Who: Jaskier, Ciri, Geralt, eventually Sam?
When: First week of October
Where: The desert outskirts of Cadens
What: Jaskier attempts to help Ciri learn magic with disastrous results.
Warnings: Bodily injury, may move to mild body horror depending.



[With the climate they found themselves in, it only made sense for them to really embrace their new... eccentric talents. At least, that was what Jaskier tells himself, and when he tells himself it -- regarding Ciri, in particular -- it all makes sense, of course. If they are all gifted with magic, then it only makes sense to make use of it.

After all, it's free. And they need skills to make a living off of. As far as he understands, Ciri is, er, well. Like Geralt. A hunter.

Magic, hunting. It all fits together.

Okay, fine. He's terribly bored also. And he's tired of being the only one with magic around here. (He's still avoiding the whole plant thing. He prefers not to think about it, actually.]


All right, my dear. I -- well, I don't claim to know many, er, spells, but we can start on what I started on. Simply a little bird. [He, of course, adds a completely unnecessary flourish to his movements, and a bit of sparks, holding out his hand with a dove sitting on his palm.]

It's a bit hard to describe. I sort of... imitated watching it, I suppose.

[He sort of definitely wants to see Ciri try to imitate his flourish.]
wiedzminka: (twenty-eight.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-22 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ She shakes her head a little, perhaps to decline the offer of the apples or refute the way he's being so blithe about this or maybe just in dismay at herself for letting this secret hurt Jaskier when she'd been trying to protect him. Keep him out of it because it shouldn't involve him, shouldn't drag him into her mess. ]

That's... not exactly what I've been keeping from you. Part of it, yes, but--

[ Gods. Where does she even start.

Her voice is hushed, even though it's just them in this room, and only Geralt who might hear through the walls. It isn't a secret being kept simply because they didn't want to tell Jaskier; the tight, anxious emphasis in her words seems to lean almost into fear. Not the immediate, animal panic of something unexpected, but a deeply ingrained unease, familiar and terrible.

Ciri keeps her hands in her lap, looking down at them rather than at Jaskier, even though she knows he deserves better. She just. Isn't better. ]


You see, I've had the absolute shit luck of inheriting a power that is sought after by those who would capture me at any cost. The barriers between spheres pose only a moderate hindrance to them, at best. They would destroy anyone who stands in their way to get to me.

And I fear that even if they cannot find me here, for now, there are those on this plane who would do the same if they found out what I am capable of.

So we thought-- I thought... [ she corrects herself, leaving Geralt out of it. ] That the fewer the number of people who know, the safer we'd all be.
wiedzminka: (forty-nine.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-22 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ Jaskier reaches for her (does it strain his healing wounds? does it hurt, and he does it anyway?) and Ciri stiffens at first in his arms, entirely out of surprise. Then, she shifts, turns, tucking one knee up to face him more comfortably on the bed and wrapping her arms around him in response. Finally letting go of the instinctive desire to tread carefully and actually squeezes, pressing her face into his shoulder with a sigh. ]

Not like my mother's power. In some ways, yes, but--

[ Hold on. He's making a lot of assumptions all of a sudden, isn't he? (And whose fault is that, for not telling him?) Ciri pulls back enough to see his face, though not entirely out of the embrace, hands on his shoulders. She stares at him with confusion furrowing her brow. ]

What? No, that's not it at all!

You've helped me so much. You've been a trusted friend I could turn to. I was just worried--

I didn't want you to get hurt, but--

[ She laughs, and there is no mirth in it, only a helpless sort of resignation. She can only hope he's still safe, back home, after she'd been forced to flee without him. He has to be, though. In the future. Fuck, it's all just... so much.

He's here now. This Jaskier, whom she only remembers from her memories as a child. She just has to make sure he makes it back to continue his life where he should be. ]


Well. You know how that's gone.
wiedzminka: (sixty-nine.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-22 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ciri blinks. Her hands are still on his shoulders. They sit there for a moment, unmoving, just. Staring at each other.

Is she missing something? Why is he making that face? ]


...what the fuck, Jaskier?

Why would you say something like that?

[ This is not a funny joke! ]
wiedzminka: (eighty-three.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-22 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
...sweet Melitele.

[ Ciri slumps. Her fingers relax, and she drops forward against Jaskier, pressing her forehead to the back of her hand. ]

What must you think of me? It never even crossed my mind that--

[ She'd meant to tell him. At some point. It just hadn't seemed all that important immediately, and they were finally settling into Cadens. Ciri hadn't expected he was harboring such a grim suspicion. She feels guilty and exasperated at the same time. ]

Why didn't you just ask me, you muttonhead?
wiedzminka: (fifty-six.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-22 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
[ She sighs, sliding her arms around his shoulders to give him a proper hug once again before she finally sits up. ]

...fair. All right.

I haven't been nearly as straightforward with you as I could have been. Should have been.

I apologize for my part in this... slightly inane but I suppose understandable... misunderstanding. A weight off your chest, I hope.

[ Saints and gods of all the fucking universes. That was a shock. She feels like an idiot. And she feels like Jaskier is an idiot. They're both idiots.

Where's some brandy when you need it, dammit. ]


That wasn't even what I meant to tell you.
wiedzminka: (twenty-two.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-22 07:58 am (UTC)(link)
I'm thinking you're a colossal idiot. And that I'm a huge one.

[ She looks at his hand pointedly, but in truth she is relieved. She really wouldn't have wanted him to live with that sort of shadow looming over him. And for no goddamn reason, to boot. What an imbecile. (And she does feel a twinge of guilt at having caused it, at apparently having been so cold he really thought that and didn't feel comfortable asking.)

Ciri straightens her hair and her sleeves, biting back yet another sigh as she shakes her head. ]


You needn't have dwelled on such a ridiculous thing for so long. You were perfectly healthy the last time I saw you. Fit as a fiddle. [ And now is not the time to say that the last time she'd seen him, they were being chased by guards. Or that this conversation is making her worried about what she's actually going to get back to eventually.

One thing at a time. Or she's going to completely lose her mind tonight. ]


You'll also be pleased to know you're just as annoyingly famous as ever, and you don't let anyone forget it.

[ Normally, she wouldn't talk about the future (her present) even this much, but it's a sort-of apology now. For making him feel like that. Hopefully, it'll cheer him up a little.

Though the next topic may be a less cheerful one by necessity. She grows serious. ]


It's all right. There is... simply a lot to tell. And I don't understand it all, myself.

You mentioned my mother's power. It is of her blood, the Elven blood she carried and passed on, but it has manifested in me in a way that far exceeds her capabilities. I am...

[ She hesitates. It's not because she wants to keep anything more from him, but she simply doesn't know how to explain it. Jaskier has studied histories and myths. Perhaps that is a place to start. ]

I am the Child of the Elder Blood spoken of in Ithlinne's Prophecy. [ There's no pride in her voice, only a heavy tiredness, a weight strapped to her that drags her down with every step. Ciri exhales. ] At least, everyone thinks I am. Me, or... some child I'm supposed to have. [ Her voice drips with disgust and anger. ] It doesn't matter. What I'm trying to say is--

[ Ciri stares at her hands again, now gripping one another tight in her lap, white knuckled and anxious. Her heart always leaps into her throat when she admits this. When she has to say it because none of them remember it yet, and she has to explain the horrors she is capable of. ]

I have spent my life running and hiding from those who would claim me for their own use. Because what I can do puts whole worlds in danger. And if Thorne wants to use the Singularity to harness and control its magic, imagine how they -- or any of the others on this continent -- might react when they learn that I too can open portals between spheres and channel raw chaos to unimaginable destruction.
wiedzminka: (eight.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-22 08:36 am (UTC)(link)
Hah... [ Ciri laughs nervously, weakly. She can see Jaskier rubbing his face in her periphery, but has withdrawn again, perched on the edge of his bed with her bare heels propped on the bedframe and knees drawn up. Hearing him recite part of the prophecy makes her skin crawl, though it's not his fault. ]

I wish I could just make a bird and that would be that.

[ She hopes he can understand why she'd taken so long to tell him now. It's just... it's a lot. ]

When I first arrived here, I found my abilities had been suppressed. Just like everyone else's in the dungeons.

But when we came to Cadens, I could sense that my general connection to magic was untapped, but the power of my Elder Blood -- the part of it that can take us home, at least -- is still inaccessible to me. I don't know why or how. My only guess is the Singularity is somehow interfering with my abilities.

My hope is also that this means the Wild Hunt won't be able to track me anymore.

[ Because uh. yeah, did she mention that part? the fact that the legendary spectral riders used to scare children in stories and said to bring bad omens are not only real and not spectral at all, but they are literally chasing her across universes? Sorry. ]

If the Singularity means they can't find me, then perhaps there's a way to lose their tail for good.

And, someday, unlock my abilities so I can bring you, Geralt and Yennefer where -- and when -- you are supposed to be.
Edited 2021-10-22 08:41 (UTC)
wiedzminka: (eighty-three.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-23 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
[ She expected shock, even fear. Anger at having been kept in the dark. She half expected him to ask her to leave. Because she knows it's a lot to process, she knows it's a lot to put on a person, and Jaskier doesn't have to be tied to it in quite the same way Geralt and Yennefer are out of necessity. Jaskier can decide to take his time, keep his distance, reassess the situation and how dangerous it is for him -- even more dangerous, potentially, than it was even back on the Continent, considering how little they understand about this plane and the Singularity.

What she doesn't expect is for Jaskier to... scold her?! For reassuring him that her priority is still to get them home safely??

Ciri flinches back slightly at his outburst, startled by the intensity of it. If Geralt's ears weren't already good enough to hear them whisper in this room, he'd definitely hear that. ]


Jaskier! Please, keep your voice down! [ She scrambles to catch his flailing arms by the wrists, halfway on top of his lap on the bed. He's probably not talking loudly enough for anyone outside to hear, but she's just a bit panicked and tightly-wound right now.

He asks her how she's calm. He thinks she's calm. Ciri stares at him with naked disbelief. She doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. She doesn't know how to tell him that she's fucking scared to the marrow of her bones every blessed day and that she's lived like this for years and that if she doesn't figure out how to get them back home she might not even have any of them to return to, that she's terrified she'll end up wandering alone through unfamiliar planes, running and lost forever.

Of course she's losing her entire fucking head. Only constantly.

And after all this, after everything he's been through the last couple of days, after nearly losing a limb and his livelihood, this absolutely daft blockhead of a bard still wants to practice magic with her.

Ciri lets him go. She sits back down on the side of the bed and slumps over with her face in her hands and her elbows on her knees and just. Sits there. Shoulders shaking. Laughing and crying at the same time. ]
wiedzminka: (fifty-two.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-23 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ She doesn't know what she's doing. Some sort of atrocious, breathlessly wet noises are hiccupping out of her throat, and there are tears, but she's also relieved in a weird way and angry with him for being so stupid and not even thinking about it before offering his help again and sad that she hurt him and helplessly grateful and happy that he doesn't hate or fear her even though he'd have every right.

When Jaskier scoots forward to hug her, Ciri leans sideways into him. She's reassured to feel how hard he can squeeze her despite his injury. She doesn't move to pull away. ]


...thank you.

I'm glad you're here.

[ It's a selfish thing to say. None of them should be here, and she shouldn't be glad he's where he shouldn't be, but she is, and she won't take it back. ]
wiedzminka: (ninety-five.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-23 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ciri slips one arm behind him, returning the affection. The tears subside, and her breathing slows, her weight warm against him. ]

...yeah. It would.

[ But it's not. Well, not as awfully shit as it could be. Not as lonely. And Ciri knows what it's like to be all alone on a foreign world with only herself to rely on and the fear driving her forward.

It's not like that now. Despite the strangeness of their lost years, they are still--

Family. Her and Geralt and Yennefer. And, yes, Jaskier too. ]
wiedzminka: (seventy-nine.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-23 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ciri doesn't answer him. About why she chose to tell him now. Mostly, it's because she was very suddenly concerned she might not get the chance, and he'd already been caught in the crosshairs in a way she'd never even expected. He deserved to know. And she'd regret not telling him.

But that is too heavy to say now, and Ciri suspects he understands. So she only nods, lets out a breathy noise that might be an attempt at a laugh, and scrubs the edges of her sleeves over her face. She's not wearing makeup today, at least. ]


I'll do my best. There are no others I'm aware of. And... if you have questions, I will do my best to answer where I can. [ Some things, she may not be able to speak on. She's still hesitant, and she knows Geralt is too. About their... future. About how everything might or might not still be as it should back on the Continent. But if Jaskier gets another stupid idea in his head again, she'll at least do her best to reassure him as much as feels reasonably safe.

To his question about Geralt, Ciri nods. As they pull away from one another to a comfortable distance, she rearranges herself on the edge of the bed with her closer knee tucked up beneath her again, facing him now with looser shoulders and a less frayed expression for the first time in days. ]


He knows. All of it.

[ She hesitates again, then. It's a bit of a snag she hadn't expected, how much Jaskier dislikes Yennefer right now. ]

...so does Yennefer. It's- I think it's why she stayed in Thorne.

[ Perhaps not all of it. Ciri's sure she has her own reasons (ambitions) but she knows it had certainly influenced her decision, and Geralt's decision to bring them here. She really hadn't meant to keep it from Jaskier so long on purpose, but it feels empty now to say that she'd simply... wanted to forget, wanted to get distracted, just for a little while. ]
wiedzminka: (fourteen.)

[personal profile] wiedzminka 2021-10-27 07:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ciri manages a faint, tired smile. ]

That's a relief. I think I am quite tired of questions, myself. Another day, perhaps.

[ The offer is there: she's not trying to exclude him or hide anything more. They're both just tired. Jaskier understands that much.

Ciri bites back a sigh at the mention of Yennefer's spat with Geralt; her smile slips. She wants to be understanding and let them figure out whatever it is they need to figure out, but it is frustrating to watch. She can only hope that Yennefer is okay. The last time they'd seen each other, in the Horizon, Ciri hadn't even been able to ask her questions about her situation in Thorne, and can only hope she's not wasting away in a cell still. Or worse. ]


...thank you, Jaskier. [ But you have no idea what you're talking about, she doesn't quite say aloud. Just mostly. ]

Many would call you foolish, but it's kind of you to think so.

I'm just glad you're well now. I'm certain there are apothecaries in Cadens that can mix an ointment for your arm. The scar is fresh. There are ways to help it fade.

[ She should know. ]

I'll ask around tomorrow. Promise.

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