abraxaslogs | open | excuse my ego, can't go incognito

[ Cassian had come to a similar conclusion, at least when it came to the ways in which he had acted as a god. No one had actually been hurt by him but the amount of hurt he had caused us vivid as if it were yesterday.

He suspects that none of the Summoned were innocent in their damage to humans but that doesn't comfort him. Sometimes he thinks he can taste the fear and despair on his tongue.

The flinch that follows her elbow to his gut is more out of surprise than hurt. ]

Ow – [ He grabs at his side, having the gall to look a little offended that he'd just been elbowed for calling her stubborn. ] I think the bruise I'll see tomorrow will answer my question.

Edited (DON'T LOOK AT MY HTML SHAME) 2024-06-16 04:27 (UTC)

[ it's reassuring to know no one had actually been hurt, but the idea that she was capable of it unnerves her. she knows her fatal flaw and has already seen it in action, and the notion that she can't escape it even after eight hundred years is jarring. of course she struggled with leaving, when so much of it seemed to cater right into her wants and desires. ]

[ other than the fact that she does not actually want godhood. ]

[ annabeth rolls her eyes at his reaction. ]

Give me a break, Cassian. [ the name slips out without even thinking. ] I wasn't even aiming to hurt you. You'd know if I was.

Are you sure? [ This time his wince is all dramatics. Future master spy, right here. ] Because I think you might have broken a rib.

[ As soon as Bee bumps, rather forcefully he might add, into the back of his knees he drops the act a moment later, shooting the droid a look. ]

It was a joke.

[ Don't upset her, Ca-Ca-Cassian. That earns a look from Cassian. ]

Whose droid are you? [ But if the twitch of his lips is any indication, he probably doesn't mind all that much. ] You mentioned other monsters - what kind of monsters?

If I wanted to break a rib, it'd be broken. [ she doesn't say it with confidence - more like it's simply a fact. ]

[ but she does crack a small smile at bee's reaction. she only met bee five seconds ago, but if anything happened to him she'd kill everyone in the room and herself. she leans over to pat the top of the droid's head reassuringly. ]

He likes me. [ she says, and it's meant to be preening, but she's also just genuinely please to be liked. ]

[ as for the monster question... ] I'm guessing you don't know anything about Greek mythology. There's a big variety, but they're all straight out of the stories from what's called Ancient Greece in our world. We'd probably be here for hours if I had to describe all of them.

The Hellhound I mentioned before - that's one. They're usually only interested in eating us as demigods, but I do know one friendly one. They're like giant dogs with glowing red eyes, hailing from what's called the Underworld. [ pause. ] The afterlife, basically.

We probably have similar mythology from my galaxy.

[ Stories of long extinct creatures, rituals tied to spirits and nature that he could still recall from a childhood on Kenari. Whispered stories of an Order that no longer existed only ever told in the deepest, furthest corners of cantinas that even he dismissed sometimes as pure fantasy. The galaxy was vast and he’s under no illusion that he would ever be able to learn them in his lifetime, however long that may be. ]

Including ones about an afterlife. That depends on who you speak to though.

[ If his tone is any indication, he doesn’t believe in one. ]

We have plenty of creatures that sound just as dangerous. [ Suddenly his voice turns wry. ] But then we also have creatures like bantha.

I wouldn't be surprised. Sometimes there's a lot of similarities in various mythos, especially as people try to explain the world around them. But... ours aren't myths in the sense that they're fake stories, even if most mortals think they are.

[ she pauses, because she doesn't miss his tone, and she doesn't even blame him. ] Like, I've been to the Underworld. It's definitely real in my world.

[ even before tartarus - somehow her very first quest ended with her, percy, and grover at the throne of hades himself. ]

I remember. You wouldn't tell me what it was. [ not entirely true so much as he felt it difficult to describe. ] Are they friendly?

[ Being called a mortal is amusing in a way that he didn’t think it would be. He’s always known about his morality. Humans lives were so short lived in comparison to other species in the galaxy, but it was simply a fact of life for most. Some might have sought after a way to extend it, but Cassian had never been one of them. And after experiencing life as a god, well he was even more certain that he never wanted immortality.

He holds up his hands slightly in defence as if to silently say that he believes her. ]

Myths come from some form of truth — that’s how the saying goes, right?

[ Cassian couldn’t pinpoint a time where he’d stopped believing in fairytales. Maybe it’s when he began to see the harsh realities of the world that they lived in at a young age. When the balm of make believe could do nothing to shield him from tyranny and oppression.

It’s not something to dwell on now. Better to talk about — ]

They’re a pack animal so they’re docile for the most part. [ Bee beats him to it. Why don’t you show he-he-he-her, Cassian? Cassian’s lips curl despite himself, giving Bee a slight nudge. ] Pushy, aren’t you?

[ And then to Annabeth, ]

Do you want to see one?

[ she uses mortal loosely. there's no immortality waiting for her, and she doesn't want it anyway. honestly, annabeth is edging towards the older end of greek demigod. she made it to seventeen! eighteen will be even more of an accomplishment. ]

You're not wrong. They typically draw on the world around them. But it's like, most people back home think my mother is a myth, but that doesn't mean she's not real. I'm real. It's just all kind of hidden. And I know it's probably not the same in every world when it comes to the reality of mythos.

[ she loves this droid. he gets her. she shoots bee a small grin before nodding immediately at cassian's question. ]

Yes. You said you could show me. So show me.

[ There were some days that Cassian was surprised he’d made it as many solar years as he’d had. His recklessness in his youth had been the death of Maarva at times and a constant source of their bickering. Unfortunately age had done nothing to weasel that out of him.

Even without knowing the tragically short lifespan of demigods like Annabeth and Percy, he still hopes that they live long lives.

The mention of her mother again pricks at his curiosity, but he stands fast to his decision not to probe. It was better to stay on lighter topics. But that unfortunately meant that he had to deliver on creating a bantha in the horizon.

For fucks sake.

He rolls his eyes. ]

You’re pushy too. I see why you both get along.

[ ‘Both’ being Annabeth and Bee. Bee only whirs a little in protest but Cassian has already shut his eyes, drawing on the image of a bantha in his mind along with the very brief, impromptu lesson Wanda had given him. It’s not as easy as creating Bee had; he’d grown up alongside the droid whereas bantha’s didn’t exist on Ferrix. But after a moment he feels the threads of magic weave together and when he opens his eyes next, a large, wooly creature stands before them.

He can’t stop the hint of wonder in his voice from slipping out. ]

…That’s a bantha.

[ she bites back a grin at being called pushy as well as the eye roll, if only because she knows it's not an insult, or meant to be rude. he's comparing her to bee, who he obviously as some kind of affection for. ]

Two against one. Maybe we just know what we're about. [ she leans over to pat the droid's head. ]

[ annabeth is curious as cassian gets to work, both in watching how he creates as well as whatever he ultimately brings to life. there's a lot she finds fascinating about the horizon - and she's a quick learner, if the massive size of her domain house has anything to show for it, but it doesn't mean she isn't interested in how other people work through it. ]

[ she barely notices cassian's own surprise at his success, because she's too busy gaping with delight as the bantha fully shapes before them. her face lights up as she studies it, feet moving to circle the creature. ]

It's got goatish horns, almost like a ram. [ she knows he probably doesn't have any idea what she's talking about when it comes to earth animals, but the rambling is largely born out of simple intellectual curiosity. it's not dissimilar to how she could be sometimes, as a god. ] And the fur is like a mammoth, but those are extinct. Rhino feet? Or an elephant... the elephant might make more sense, given the shaggy mammoth fur.

[ she finally looks back at him. ] Do you think I could touch it? You said they're docile, right?

Edited 2024-06-26 19:11 (UTC)

[ Apparently bickering is a form of affection in Cassian’s world. At least towards certain people which now apparently includes Annabeth. It’s shockingly easy to slip into old habits formed from fake memories, something that he thinks he should be more careful about.

But his dynamic with her is something he can ruminate over later because the alternative is missing out on the joy that is practically brimming from the demigod. It’s familiar. It warms his heart in a way that he wouldn’t admit aloud. Just because he doesn’t voice it however, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t show in the way his eyes glint and the corners of his lips twitch.

Her question is answered first by looking up towards the bantha with its kind eyes that he can sort of make out through the shaggy fur hanging low. ]

Go on. The ones I met enjoy being scratched just behind their horns.

[ annabeth loves a good bickering. and it's surprisingly easy to fall into the teasing banter with cassian that's so reminiscent of their time as sibling gods. he doesn't seem to mind it, so neither does she. it's easy to just let herself be herself with cassian, like she doesn't have to prove herself with him anymore. ]

[ when he tells her it's safe to touch it, annabeth doesn't hesitate. she sweeps in closer to the bantha and runs her hand along the fur. it's strange, knowing this is some weird psychic plane of existence and yet the physicality feels real. it's softer than she expected, though it's not like mammoths are still alive for her to compare. ]

[ after a few moments, she stretches up on her toes to do as suggested and scratch behind the horns. ]

Can I name it?

[ annabeth chase, daughter of a war goddess, survivor of tartarus, secret animal lover. she played fetched with cerberus! she loves this weird creature guy already. ]

[ If he were being honest, this bickering was something he hadn't really had with Kerri either. They had both been a little too young, a little too intent and focused on ensuring that they survived to have the luxury of bickering in a carefree way. It's nice - a thought that he doesn't quite allow to form fully either.

Just like how this is also objectively nice. Watching the joy that Annabeth exudes upon meeting the temporarily nameless bantha. When she asks he seems amusedly puzzled but he nods. ]

Why not?

[ Which he realizes means that the bantha was likely to stick around. ]

[ annabeth has had a strange variety of siblings - her mortal half brothers, her fellow children of athena, the broken rescue of thalia and luke - and the way she's interacted with all of them varies just as much as they do. the bickering is familiar with cassian in another different way. ]

[ her smile softens a little when he agrees, but then her expression becomes contemplative as she mulls over what to call such a creature. she's never had a pet, but part of her always wanted one, so she can't help but want to name this thing. she scritches behind its horn, then drops down to walk over and look at its face again. it only blinks in return. ]

Antoni. [ she nods at the bantha, as though it understands her and the name she's just given it. ]

[ The bantha - or Antoni rather - seems to regard the slight girl before giving her a gentle (for a bantha) head butt of affection. But that's not all. As soon as he's done with his nuzzling, Antoni sees fit to give Annabeth a big, wet, lick drawing a short, bark of a laugh from Cassian and a whirl of protest from Bee. ]

I think that means he likes it.

[ Cassian has never had a pet either. He had always been on the move, rarely staying in Ferrix for long stretches of time. A pet required attention and time that he simply felt he didn't have. And the last thing he wanted was to saddle Maarva with one as her health began to rapidly decline over the years. ]

Why Antoni?

[ her expression briefly softens as the bantha headbutts her, but it's ruined soon enough by the giant slobbery lick of affection it gives her soon after. ]

Eugh! [ even with the cry of disgust, annabeth can't help the stuttered laugh that follows it. she pushes idly at the bantha's face, but leaves her hands buried in the fur there and scratches its chin instead. the transience of her own life hasn't given her much opportunity for pets either. ]

After Antoni Gaudí. He was a famous architect where I'm from, in a country called Spain. His designs were considered deeply influential to modernism, or modernisme in Catalan, which is what he was. He used a lot of geometric and natural influences in his designs, and he liked to use 3D models instead of sketches to showcase his plans. There are a lot of perks to the models like that, but I haven't tried too much of it myself. I think there's kind of an element to surrealism in his buildings, and there are tons of gothic techniques too, that's not just my argument -

[ and lo, annabeth continues to ramble about gaudi and will continue to do so for a few minutes, until cassian deigns it time to interrupt. she will also continue petting antoni the entire duration, because it's a good name sake for a good bantha. ]

[ Antoni isn’t deterred by the sound of disgust from his new friend. In fact it just encourages him to nuzzle into her more. Apparently it hadn’t taken him long to bond with her - and it leaves Cassian wondering how the bantha can have a mind of its own when his maker (Cassian) was hardly the most affectionate type.

But maybe his namesake is. Not that Annabeth would be privy to that information. Although if the way she’s rambling is anything to go off of…she might. Maybe he should ask.

…If she ever decides to take a breath that is. One part of him is curious to see just how much she knows about this Antoni Gaudi, while the other is concerned that she might actually run out of air. The latter wins out. ]

So you admire him.

[ not even the nuzzling deters her gaudi rant, because she just keeps talking through it, even as she leans into the bantha's affection and pats her own hand against its fur too. she doesn't think anything of a fake creature's affection, not when she's got architecture on the brain. ]

[ she does not need to breathe, she's fine, but it's probably for the best when cassian finally interrupts. she doesn't seem bothered by it. ]

I do. I'd really like to see his work in person one day. He's innovative, and there doesn't seem to be a point in designing buildings that don't try something new. That's how you make something that lasts.

[ that part of her godhood certainly stemmed from reality, and perhaps the nature of her under construction domain house makes a little more sense. ]

Will this guy... stick around? [ hm. she wants him to. but she's not gonna be direct about it. ]

Edited 2024-07-04 03:08 (UTC)

[ Part of him expects to see some sort of sheepish embarrassment. Instead unabashed enthusiasm remains. He doesn't know why he feels an odd sense of pride well up like a spring in his chest. Or rather he does know, because of what they had just gone through, but when he peels that back, he finds it doesn't matter.

Someone's passions for a hobby, for an art, had been something he can never say that he's experienced himself. There had never been a moment for him to explore that because every waking moment was spent trying to survive. Anything else felt like a luxury he couldn't afford. So to see this in front him - he's glad that she isn't the same as him in that regard. ]

You will. [ There's a sincerity to his voice. ] I don't doubt that.

[ As he says it, another layer of quiet conviction settles on top of what already exists. They would find a way home for those that wanted to go home. They would. As for Antoni -

Cassian's gaze goes to the bantha whose soulful brown eyes stare back at him. He offers his own gentle pat. ]

He will if you want him to.

[ when it felt like she had nothing else, annabeth always had architecture. it started as a niche interest and became something she clung to, a window into allowing her to create permanence. that underlying feeling is why it had been so hard for her to be pulled from the illusion, beyond anything else. ]

[ she doesn't smile at cassian when he so confidently tells her she'll get to spain one day, despite not even knowing what spain is she's sure, but something in her face softens anyway. it's nice, to have someone believe in it for her. ]

I hope so. [ she has to get back home first, and finish a war. but maybe one day. she turns her attention to antoni, scratching through his fur again to avoid how that makes her feel. ]

Yeah. I do want him to stick around. [ she is definitely mostly talking about the bantha. ] There's plenty of space for him here.

[ in her domain with it's big and grassy and spacious outdoors, there's plenty of room for a bantha creature. clearly she's not talking about the house, that's big enough for a lot of people who aren't there. ]

[ He can appreciate the beauty in architecture, but so rarely does he have time to sit back or stand to admire it. A building is a building. Its design mattered little to him so much as what purpose it served. And in his mind, they were all so impermanent like so many other things in his life. It was the people that moved within them, lived and existed within them that brought it to life that mattered to him.

But maybe there were those that could capture that feeling in the form of wood, brick and stone. Maybe Antoni Gaudi had been one of them and that was why Annabeth admired him so much. He can only speculate however.

Her answer is met with a quiet nod of understanding and a held look. Reading into the topic of whether or not a magicked bantha could stay or if they were talking about something else isn't something he particularly wants to dwell on - even if the answer would still likely be the same. ]

Then he'll stay. [ His gaze lingers for a beat longer before moving back to Antoni. ] He might get lonely after a while though. They're pack animals.

[ Now they're definitely just talking about the bantha. ]

[ for annabeth, all of seven and living in a cycle of people who wove in and out of her life, the ability to create a structure capable of giving her a real home stuck with her. it's partially what she's attempting here and now in the horizon, trying to figure out what a home is supposed to look like, though she doesn't quite realize it yet. ]

[ plus, she's just a fucking nerd with a giant ego. she really does want to leave a mark on her world. to prove she's important. ]

I can always make him some friends. Camp Half-Blood's still missing some of its more friendly creatures here. [ like pegasi. ]

I have a question. About your name. [ it seems like it comes out of nowhere, but it's been lingering in the back of her head, waiting for the opportunity to pop out. this might not be the right opportunity but her adhd says otherwise. ]

[ That’s something he’d tease her about if he ever found out. Affectionately of course. He can’t say he shares a similar desire; does he now want to try and change the galaxy for the better? Yes. But he could care less if people know or remember his name. The work, the end result, is more important than the fame or infamy.

The mention of other friends or creatures in this case makes Antoni snort in approval as he moves to nuzzle Annabeth again. ]

I think he likes the sound of that.

[ If he thinks that the topic of his name is out of place he doesn’t let on. Actually, he half expected this conversation to happen, not necessarily with Annabeth, but with others in general. ]

Yes?

[ if she's important, no one can ever leave her behind! ]

[ a smile flickers on her face again when antoni nuzzles her, and she leans her head against him again. perhaps she's always wanted a pet because pets will always give you affection. ]

Then I'll have to work on that for him.

[ she considers what she wants to ask of him carefully, still wary about spooking him off. she keeps her head against antoni, idly petting him because it makes for a good distraction. ]

You told me your name was Alyx. But I know you're Cassian. [ her eyebrows wrinkle thoughtfully for a second. ] You're Cassian in my head now.

Back home, names are powerful. Important. Sometimes we have to be careful about them. [ she's gotten more lax over the years, the more angry she gets, but it doesn't change the fact that names in her godly world matter significantly. ] So I guess I just want to know... what you want me to call you? If Cassian is a secret, I can keep it one.

We can work on it together. [ A ghost of a smile appears on his face. ] They're from my galaxy after all.

[ Annabeth's question is exactly what he expects it to be and she isn't the first to ask him that since they'd woken up from that dream. A part of him isn't surprised to recall that he'd gone by several different monikers during their time as gods. In that sense it made it no different from his life now.

Common sense tells him that he should insist that he be referred to as Alyx but there's no point in it now. But in the same breath, if people knew now that his name was Cassian then what was the point in trying to hide it from the Summoned? Especially someone like Annabeth who had shared history with. For her to call him anything else feels...odd.

He can appreciate the idea that there's power in names. But he's tossed his aside so many times that it's easy to forget that's the case. ]

You can call me Cassian. That's my name. But I'd prefer to called Alyx in public.

[ There's a pause. ]

...Thank you for asking. [ And then because it almost feels too serious - ] Is that your way of telling me that your name isn't Annabeth?

open | excuse my ego, can't go incognito

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wrap soon? 💕

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