there are nights you say you don't remember [open!]

[tedandroses]

Who: Teddy and (you?)
When: backdated from just post-Event through May (and into the first weeks of June if it works better for where you want to run into Teds!)
Where: Around Solvunn, in the Horizon, Nocwich
What: Post-event feels; May-early June catchall
Warnings: Nothing major: some feelings of derealization. Re-remembering distressing events. If that needs to be upgraded I'll mention in the subject lines.


Teddy opens her eyes, blinking. The sky was falling down, and --

Their cheek is pressed into the dust, hard against the rock, and when they try to push themself to a sit, it feels like they haven't used their joints in -- they were thinking years, but no, that's wrong; the whole thing was wrong. They were trying to wake up. They were trying to...

Oh. Oh god.

It comes crashing back like a wave: the storms, the crater, the fog. And the memories. All the memories Teddy still -- or can now recall -- the terror of knowing they were losing. Pushed roughly to the forefront: not just the things they'd lost but those they'd given up to Sam in desperation to not lose it forever.

Sam -- Teddy shouldn't even know Sam. Much less, feel the instinctive urge to thank him as he's hit by an onslaught of memories of his home and family that tumble over each other so intensely he sits back down hard. He shouldn't know -- so much -- about so many things --

People are moving. People are telling them things; their voices don't feel like real sounds, but some part of Teddy's brain interprets it for her, and she gets back to her feet and allows herself to be directed toward the carts going to Solvunn. Her eyes catch on even more familiar forms, even beloved, heading in other directions, and she knows she's never looked at them here: can feel that her body recalls but does not know being embraced, jostled, laughed with.

That knowing feels like a great wave lifting them off their feet and shoving them underneath the water over and again. (They shouldn't know what the ocean feels like.) They want to be sick. They want to scream. They can't do any of it: just let it roll them over. They sit, silent and finally, blissfully unthinking for the ride. It's not until they're back in Solvunn, safe under blankets, that they burst into stifled, hiccuping sobs until they can't breathe.


Far above, the Abraxas skies are blue and cloudless like Teddy's never seen.

>> HORIZON
>> SOLVUNN
>> NOCWICH

[OTA! If there's nothing that catches your eye/you want something slightly different let me know at wingedvoices and I'll start one!]

Comments

[tedandroses]

Teddy startles as Zagreus darts up; luckily the axe has already hit and, though it's a little off-center, the wood splits and he just has a minor heart attack instead of misaiming. In retrospect, he's not sure what that would do, even, in the Horizon. It's possible it would depend on what Teddy thinks it would do, which is slightly alarming.

"Has anyone ever told you not to do that next to people with sharp things?" Their eyes are fond nonetheless. Zagreus has always been nice to them, if a little baffling, but maybe they're just as baffling back in all their human-ness, and his easy mate feels nice, especially right now.

"It's good to see you too. Nice 'fit." She gestures at his clothes. "Hey -- we match." Teddy waves at the sort-of skull-shaped print on her own shirt with a smirk.

Only, she knows then, inexplicably but inherently, that they don't: not that way.

Eh, doesn't mean she can't make the joke.

Teddy purses her lips and looks back. "Wasn't finished being firewood yet?" she suggests. It's not the only answer, but it is an answer.

[inthenameofhades]

"I like to live dangerously," Zagreus says, flashing a grin. And besides, he was a god. While they could hurt him with their axe, it'd take a lot more than that to do him any real harm.

"And I suppose we do match! You'd fit right in back home," he says, leaning over to admit the design on their tunic. He hadn't really seen designs like that on cloth before. Whatever technique was involved, the result is impressive. "I have to say, it's nice meeting a mortal who properly appreciates a aesthetically appealing skull. They don't seem to be very popular in Solvunn for some reason."

I handwaved a little bit here about things they might've talked about -- lmk if it needs an edit!

[tedandroses]

His grin is a little contagious, and besides, Teddy can't exactly argue; they've done some pretty dumb things in the name of -- fun, or adrenaline, or making a statement, and they're not a god.

She smiles; even though it's an Arcana sign, she does appreciate an aesthetically appealing skull. "Well," she says, practically, "I think most mortals don't like being reminded of death, and skeletons usually only...happen when something is dead. Or really badly wounded. Especially skulls."

"But I like finding them, when something's just died naturally in the wild." He touches the canine skull that sits on Zagreus's shoulder like an epaulet in a sort of reference to animal bones -- it's probably a nod to Cerberus, Teddy realizes belatedly, from the three of them together, and the little he knows of Zagreus and where he's from. "Death happens, you know?"

Well. Yeah. He probably does. The thought reminds them of the abandoned firewood, and they squint a little at the axe.

"Do you have much of a relationship with your family," they ask, which must seem apropos of nothing, "or are gods not quite like we are about that?"

Looks good to me!

[inthenameofhades]

"Right, mortals are a but funny about death, aren't they?" They thought it was something to be afraid of. Something Zagreus could never really understand - but then, he was a god. Things were a bit different, for him.

Death happens indeed, but Zagreus doesn't quite experience it the same way.

"Or, most mortals. Glad to find there are some exceptions," he says, with a grin at Teddy. "And yes, of course. I don't think gods and mortals are very different in that regard. Though...depends a bit on the family. I admit mine can be a bit messy..."

[tedandroses]

"Comes with the territory," Teddy says with a smile that's one part apology, one part smirk. Then, slightly more seriously, they add, "When people you care about just...go away, forever. Sometimes with no reason or warning...or anything you can do about it... I don't know if it's that unreasonable to feel it looming."

She moves the wood so at least Zagreus has a place to sit in this very under-developed domain, and sits on the ground next to the stump with a little gesture. Teddy's never been much afraid of a little dirt, either, for that matter, and especially not dirt that isn't even ...real. "You either fear it or face it, I guess. I think a lot of us do a little of both." Certainly true of her right now.

"No? The stories they tell about gods -- well, in my world, at least, I don't know about here -- either seem like they don't really have families, or they do, they're enormous, and they're all fighting all the time. At least that's how I remember it."

Teddy lifts an eyebrow. "...Politics at the dinner table?" they ask, wryly. Might as well get the real myths from the source.

[inthenameofhades]

"No, that's...not unreasonably," Zagreus says slowly. "I suppose when you put it that way...I can see how it's something mortals would fear. But you don't go away forever, not really. Your shades still live on, in the Underworld."

Well. For a certain value of 'live', anyway.

"And I'm sure mortals never ever have really big families that fight all of the time," Zagreus says dryly, giving Teddy a sardonic grin.

Zagreus might not have met many mortals before coming to this realm, but that didn't mean he hadn't read a lot of histories and epics. Petty familial squabbling clearly wasn't the exclusive domain of the gods.

[tedandroses]

It would be nice, Teddy thinks, to be that sure of what the afterlife is like. Maybe that's exactly how it is in his own world, too -- though that might be a real disappointment, or at least, a shock to a lot of people in his life.

Because they're inclined toward debate when they think it'll be taken as it's meant -- in this case, as teasing -- they tip their head a little and ask, eyebrow lifting, "and the shades in the Underworld, how often do they hang out with their loved ones? ...Excluding any epic sneaking in plans. We've got those stories. Don't usually end well."

Teddy can't help but laugh at that, a wide flash of teeth that surprises itself to her face and crinkles her eyes. "Oh, never," she deadpans, and grins, shoulders shrugging in a huff, putting her hands in her lap and sitting very tall (which isn't very tall) and faux-proper. "Mortals all have two-point-five children and happy round-the-table dinners every night where we discuss how everyone did at school, and it's always good. I'll have you know."

They can barely satirize it without laughing. "Yeah, yeah, okay. The scale's a little different, though. Or. Well. The effect." Even that's a little rich coming from someone who grew up throwing distance from the Hatfield-McCoy stomping grounds. "Though," they add, mulling for a moment. "I do have a big family --well, ish, not as big as some I know, but big enough -- and we all get on. ...Got..." It's odd to try and figure out how to talk about them; are they ever going to see them again? What's even happening back home?

"I did always wonder, growing up, if my parents wished they had more than just me, both having brothers and sisters and me with so many cousins. But." Teddy shrugs.

[inthenameofhades]

"That depends, I suppose," Zagreus says, thinking about it. "For those Shades who are sentenced to Tartarus...likely not much at all. Those in Elysium or Asphedel could spend as much time as they like. Although it would be difficult, if they want to spend time with someone who lives in a different part of the Underworld."

It was possible, if a Shade had permission from Hades to travel. Like Orpheus, and Achilles. But that was a boon not often given.

"We have something in common then! Just don't ask me how many cousins I have. Too many to count, I suspect." But that was what happened when you had Zeus and Poseidon for your uncles. "But I'm glad your family all get along. That shouldn't be something unusual, among mortal or divine families, but...it's not as common as it should be, unfortunately."

[tedandroses]

"Oh, I meant --" Teddy smiles wryly, even though she's walking a tightrope between banter and a fairly sensitive subject. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad to talk to Zagreus about it, but it's not like he's going to be able to confirm anything, or change it. "I meant, with people who haven't died. You know? You said that no one's really gone," she reminds him, "that they live on as shades.

"But. Well, I mean, I reckon for a lot of people who believe in an afterlife, whether it's like yours or a different one, it is still a comfort to think of them living on. But it's not the same as being able to ask them a question, or, give them a hug..."

And there it is, choking off the end of the sentence. Teddy rubs their eyes before tears can make an appearance and makes a face. "Sorry. Made myself think too much."

They're happy to move on to big families. Teddy laughs despite himself at Too many to count. "The stories my world has about your uncles make them sound...rather prolific," he says, trying to be diplomatic. "I try to avoid that part with all the -- you know, the teenage demigods? Do you talk to them much? That must be weird for you, having a bunch of -- what, new half-siblings and cousins who ...I imagine don't quite have the same versions of your family?"