Who: Alucard and open When: First half of June Where: Free Cities, Norwich, Al’s domain What: Getting up and functioning again, updating one’s domain, taking stock of his new physical change thanks to event 18 Warnings:Added as needed
None and I stand by it. [Alucard stretches for a moment, extending his hands over his head and his feet downward. He's aware that the light may catch his new, annoying, and exciting appendage. At least Astarion will find a way to make light of it, pun not intended.
One eye opens, just enough so Alucard can tilt his head in the vampire's direction.]
That is one of the many exciting reasons I very rarely go near that place unless I absolutely must, or am otherwise gently pressured into it by Hilda. [Which is not often, but when it does happen, Alucard will do so out of respect for her.] The local wolf populace isn't keeping you up?
[ Um. He is not responding to the wolf question, because he is staring at the odd colors on Alucard's finger. He, very subtly, points. ]
Sorry, darling - I don't remember that.
[ Look, he might not pay attention to everything everyone says, but he does tend to notice something like, oh, a finger turning to stained glass. He motions to Alucard like here, let me see, a hint of concern in his expression. ]
[Well, there goes his hope of that topic being chill.
Alucard extends his hand in Astarion's general direction, offering the offending hand for examination if it's especially needed. His response aims for the dry, because this is just his new normal.]
What, did you not receive a fun and strange physical souvenir on your person after all of that?
[ He will gingerly take Alucard's hand, frowning at the strangeness of the single glass finger. It does remind him of Alucard's transformed state from their hallucination, at least what he remembers of it.
At the question, he grimaces. ]
I did not, and thank the gods on that... for what little good they're worth.
[ Alucard might have caught on by now that Astarion's opinions of gods, sans the ones they became, are quite poor. And besides that - ]
I've had enough of my body being changed against my will. [ There's an icy edge to his tone, although his expression softens again when he studies Alucard's face to better try to discern his feelings on the matter... literally at hand. ]
[Alucard lets Astarion examine as he needs to. The glass bends and moves with no cracks. There's no hint of pain or even a lack of feeling in the finger, and he extends it to brush against Astarion's wrist in order to reinforce that particular point.]
Oh, we can agree that both gods and faith are of no particular value. Frankly, I'm including myself and what pitiful role I played in that fever dream.
[He certainly didn't need to exist in the same way gods of sun and rain and the change of seasons might in mythology.
That's hardly the point now. Astarion's tone is hard not to agree with, but Alucard's opinions don't matter anywhere as much as Astarion's. A single finger is nothing in comparison to one's entire body and way of life.]
And this time around, there wasn't a single person responsible that could just be destroyed in response. [He's not forgotten what he's promised Astarion should his maker ever show up. Alucard also isn't going to just flat out ask how Astarion's feeling now. The tone's enough.] I don't know how we prevent the next change.
[ Astarion scoffs again, frowning to himself when the glass touches his wrist. How odd. He can appreciate the beauty and drama of the appendage outside of the way Alucard came about it, he supposes, though there's certainly something particularly horrifying about finding one's hands changed. Who's to say he won't lose his sense of feeling as time goes on? Or that it won't spread?
He lets go of Alucard's hand, chuckling with little humor. It's good to know that Alucard hasn't forgotten. But, technically, there is something to blame - ]
There's that damn rock to hold responsible. [ Even if it's woefully inanimate. Well. For the most part. Astarion felt an unnatural pull toward it after they returned to reality, and he's been giving it a very, very wide berth. ] A pity we can't actually do anything about it...
[ He grimaces. Not even that the damn thing is massive and no one can easily get close to it, but Astarion is certain it's keeping the tadpole at bay, which in turn is allowing him to walk freely in the sun. ]
[Alucard takes his hand back, but not before offering a very gentle pat of reassurance to Astarion's hand. It's fine for now. He then takes it back, running it over the grass.]
Agreed. But you know, I think the worst part of all of this is that even with that future? If that was what ended up happening? I'd take it over returning home and dealing with what was left behind any day of the week.
[He suspects his own feeling is not too different from that of Astarion. But he doesn't want to assume, nor force the issue.]
[ He continues to look at Alucard's glass finger, watching as the sunlight catches the individual panes.
His feelings are... slightly different. Or complicated in a different way. Haelva thinks they should return. Out of anyone, her opinion matters most to him. But leaving here means leaving her. ]
Truly, there's nothing and no one you miss from home?
[ They might've talked about this before, but perhaps the answer has changed with a different perspective. Likely not, though. ]
Two people. One of who was here for a time, which softened some bitter feelings that had built up between last I saw them and her arrival, but...
[He shakes his head no.]
Both of my parents are dead and neither have graves, I've never had an extensive group of friends due to my nature, and all I have at the end of the day is a giant, empty castle and a reputation as a patricide. If I miss the castle itself, I could always recreate it in the Horizon.
[It sounds sad, giving all of it voice. But Alucard's tone is simple and direct, suggesting that he understands the above as a series of facts.]
I hardly remember my family, if any of them still live. [ His own natural lifespan would've been many centuries, had he not been made into an undead immortal. Whatever family he may have had might still be around, but clearly they buried him long ago - if they even cared he was dead at all. ]
There are... one or two companions I made after my escape that I still think about from time to time. [ Cliffgate, his suggestion for the new hall, is Karlach's surname. ] But I have Haelva here. And, well... all of you now, I suppose.
[ Allies of convenience, now friends. People who do more than tolerate him. ]
[Alucard's not put two and two together for Astarion's naming suggestion, but it is the one he himself has voted for. Jaskier did not need a bigger ego and the other one felt like a joke he didn't quite understand.
Companions, but...no one to go back to. Or worth going back for. There's something like a wry expression on Alucard's face, but there's a gentle nostalgia mixed in with it. There will always be a few components of home worth missing but--
--this is getting a little too serious.]
Careful. That road might make you declare a few of us your friends.
[ He laughs loudly, then, with another raised eyebrow. ]
You know, I do remember you going by a different name. [ Adrian. He had only learned that one after they had spent quite a bit of time together. Astarion can't promise him that intimate sort of relationship again, and perhaps that means certain other details left to fade with their dream-like experience. Still - ]
Adrian is fine. [Astarion deserves to know this next bit if only because his reaction is going to be priceless. Alucard turns on his side, trying not to look like he's about to tell a shitty joke.]
Alucard is just my father's name - Dracula - anyway. My countrymen think they're very clever.
You highly underestimate the extent of paranoia I had when I first got here, to the point where I didn't want to give my actual name. [He was so normal, Astarion. So normal.]
At least it can be pronounced. I...can't imagine if your countryfolk decided to try that in your situation, it'd result in something that easily rolled off the tongue.
[ Perhaps. But he can understand that paranoia, at least. ]
Fortunately I've never been so infamous.
[ There's a rueful edge to his tone. ]
One day, though. Perhaps.
[ That was the plan, anyway. Everything he's experienced here is giving him second thoughts - about returning to his realm, about the Ascension. It puts a bitter taste in his mouth. ]
[The last word catches the dhampir's attention. For as long as he has known the vampire, there seemed to be one thing he was certain of: finding any and all means to address the vampire responsible for turning him into spawn. He thinks the polite curiosity in his voice is putting the real reaction mildly.]
[ Astarion sighs, glancing up at the cloudless sky. ]
If I am to return home one day, then I will have to deal with Cazador. [ He narrows his eyes. ] He plans for me and my siblings to be sacrificed in some devil's contract for power. An ascension paid in blood that will make him the most powerful vampire lord the realm has ever seen.
[ Maybe this triggers memories of conversation during their time together in the alternate history, of the scars carved into Astarion's back by his master - the contract written on flesh. ]
With the help of my erstwhile companions, I had planned to take the ritual for myself. Ascend in his place.
[ Take all that power for himself, so that no one would ever threaten his freedom again. ]
[Alucard exhales in a soft sign of empathy. Pieces of recollection from the 800 years that never was filter in, and yes. He recalls the ascension and the scars. It explained so much.
But that's not the point here.]
I notice you're using the past tense in discussing this.
[ He looks over at Alucard when he points that out, first confused - as though he hadn't used past tense intentionally, then irritated, then slightly deflated. ]
I suppose you would prefer me to set aside such ambitions.
What I'd prefer is hardly relevant. I'd have opinions, but I also haven't lived through the full of it either. [There is a small shrug before the dhampir tries to make a larger point.]
Just as I wouldn't look to you to what you'd prefer in the case of my father's murder.
[ He's used to companions having very strong opinions about his (potential) life choices. He's braced for it again in this case, and so when Alucard only shrugs, he's at a slight loss, shooting him an incredulous look until the father is mentioned. ]
Fair enough.
[ He sighs, perhaps uncharacteristically not in the mood to push back for once. ]
[ He shoots Alucard another perplexed look. There's a long pause before he continues, his eyes narrowed at the space of grass in front of them. ]
I don't want to believe that what we experienced holds any bearing on my situation back home...
[ There's a silent and yet, at the end of that. Alucard, of all people, had a front row seat to Astarion's misery after everything he built came literally crashing down. ]
Alucard looks at Astarion for a moment, considering what memories remain of the eight hundred years that never happened and then the matter of what Ascending promises. Being free Cazador is essential, Alucard is confident of that.]
Do you think that if you returned home with your memories of here in tact, they might guide you differently, even if you went through with the plan itself?
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abraxaslogs2024-06-01 02:10 pm
no subject
One eye opens, just enough so Alucard can tilt his head in the vampire's direction.]
That is one of the many exciting reasons I very rarely go near that place unless I absolutely must, or am otherwise gently pressured into it by Hilda. [Which is not often, but when it does happen, Alucard will do so out of respect for her.] The local wolf populace isn't keeping you up?
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Sorry, darling - I don't remember that.
[ Look, he might not pay attention to everything everyone says, but he does tend to notice something like, oh, a finger turning to stained glass. He motions to Alucard like here, let me see, a hint of concern in his expression. ]
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Alucard extends his hand in Astarion's general direction, offering the offending hand for examination if it's especially needed. His response aims for the dry, because this is just his new normal.]
What, did you not receive a fun and strange physical souvenir on your person after all of that?
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At the question, he grimaces. ]
I did not, and thank the gods on that... for what little good they're worth.
[ Alucard might have caught on by now that Astarion's opinions of gods, sans the ones they became, are quite poor. And besides that - ]
I've had enough of my body being changed against my will. [ There's an icy edge to his tone, although his expression softens again when he studies Alucard's face to better try to discern his feelings on the matter... literally at hand. ]
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Oh, we can agree that both gods and faith are of no particular value. Frankly, I'm including myself and what pitiful role I played in that fever dream.
[He certainly didn't need to exist in the same way gods of sun and rain and the change of seasons might in mythology.
That's hardly the point now. Astarion's tone is hard not to agree with, but Alucard's opinions don't matter anywhere as much as Astarion's. A single finger is nothing in comparison to one's entire body and way of life.]
And this time around, there wasn't a single person responsible that could just be destroyed in response. [He's not forgotten what he's promised Astarion should his maker ever show up. Alucard also isn't going to just flat out ask how Astarion's feeling now. The tone's enough.] I don't know how we prevent the next change.
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He lets go of Alucard's hand, chuckling with little humor. It's good to know that Alucard hasn't forgotten. But, technically, there is something to blame - ]
There's that damn rock to hold responsible. [ Even if it's woefully inanimate. Well. For the most part. Astarion felt an unnatural pull toward it after they returned to reality, and he's been giving it a very, very wide berth. ] A pity we can't actually do anything about it...
[ He grimaces. Not even that the damn thing is massive and no one can easily get close to it, but Astarion is certain it's keeping the tadpole at bay, which in turn is allowing him to walk freely in the sun. ]
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Agreed. But you know, I think the worst part of all of this is that even with that future? If that was what ended up happening? I'd take it over returning home and dealing with what was left behind any day of the week.
[He suspects his own feeling is not too different from that of Astarion. But he doesn't want to assume, nor force the issue.]
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His feelings are... slightly different. Or complicated in a different way. Haelva thinks they should return. Out of anyone, her opinion matters most to him. But leaving here means leaving her. ]
Truly, there's nothing and no one you miss from home?
[ They might've talked about this before, but perhaps the answer has changed with a different perspective. Likely not, though. ]
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[He shakes his head no.]
Both of my parents are dead and neither have graves, I've never had an extensive group of friends due to my nature, and all I have at the end of the day is a giant, empty castle and a reputation as a patricide. If I miss the castle itself, I could always recreate it in the Horizon.
[It sounds sad, giving all of it voice. But Alucard's tone is simple and direct, suggesting that he understands the above as a series of facts.]
What of you, after the past two months?
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I hardly remember my family, if any of them still live. [ His own natural lifespan would've been many centuries, had he not been made into an undead immortal. Whatever family he may have had might still be around, but clearly they buried him long ago - if they even cared he was dead at all. ]
There are... one or two companions I made after my escape that I still think about from time to time. [ Cliffgate, his suggestion for the new hall, is Karlach's surname. ] But I have Haelva here. And, well... all of you now, I suppose.
[ Allies of convenience, now friends. People who do more than tolerate him. ]
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Companions, but...no one to go back to. Or worth going back for. There's something like a wry expression on Alucard's face, but there's a gentle nostalgia mixed in with it. There will always be a few components of home worth missing but--
--this is getting a little too serious.]
Careful. That road might make you declare a few of us your friends.
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[ He laughs loudly, then, with another raised eyebrow. ]
You know, I do remember you going by a different name. [ Adrian. He had only learned that one after they had spent quite a bit of time together. Astarion can't promise him that intimate sort of relationship again, and perhaps that means certain other details left to fade with their dream-like experience. Still - ]
Shall I pretend not to remember it?
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Alucard is just my father's name - Dracula - anyway. My countrymen think they're very clever.
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And so now... you choose to go by that, here?
[ Why? ]
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You highly underestimate the extent of paranoia I had when I first got here, to the point where I didn't want to give my actual name. [He was so normal, Astarion. So normal.]
At least it can be pronounced. I...can't imagine if your countryfolk decided to try that in your situation, it'd result in something that easily rolled off the tongue.
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Fortunately I've never been so infamous.
[ There's a rueful edge to his tone. ]
One day, though. Perhaps.
[ That was the plan, anyway. Everything he's experienced here is giving him second thoughts - about returning to his realm, about the Ascension. It puts a bitter taste in his mouth. ]
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Perhaps?
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If I am to return home one day, then I will have to deal with Cazador. [ He narrows his eyes. ] He plans for me and my siblings to be sacrificed in some devil's contract for power. An ascension paid in blood that will make him the most powerful vampire lord the realm has ever seen.
[ Maybe this triggers memories of conversation during their time together in the alternate history, of the scars carved into Astarion's back by his master - the contract written on flesh. ]
With the help of my erstwhile companions, I had planned to take the ritual for myself. Ascend in his place.
[ Take all that power for himself, so that no one would ever threaten his freedom again. ]
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But that's not the point here.]
I notice you're using the past tense in discussing this.
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I suppose you would prefer me to set aside such ambitions.
[ Given Adrian's own familial history. ]
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Just as I wouldn't look to you to what you'd prefer in the case of my father's murder.
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Fair enough.
[ He sighs, perhaps uncharacteristically not in the mood to push back for once. ]
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[The question is direct if only because it seems the best way to imply you seem like you really need to talk and avoiding a demand.]
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[ He shoots Alucard another perplexed look. There's a long pause before he continues, his eyes narrowed at the space of grass in front of them. ]
I don't want to believe that what we experienced holds any bearing on my situation back home...
[ There's a silent and yet, at the end of that. Alucard, of all people, had a front row seat to Astarion's misery after everything he built came literally crashing down. ]
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Alucard looks at Astarion for a moment, considering what memories remain of the eight hundred years that never happened and then the matter of what Ascending promises. Being free Cazador is essential, Alucard is confident of that.]
Do you think that if you returned home with your memories of here in tact, they might guide you differently, even if you went through with the plan itself?
[Some benevolent uber vampire?]
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