abraxaslogs | it's not your act of creation

[ after stopping briefly to try and befriend the giant wolf outside, annabeth steps into claire's domain house, with some lingering thoughts rotating like a rotisserie chicken that haven't quite left her head even though the heralds have long left the scene by now. it's been a little hard to shake, and sometimes claire's company is soothing. ]

[ maybe she shouldn't just drink a strange concoction being shoved in her face, but then again - this is the girl who shoved her hands into the phlegathon and drank its lava without knowing for sure her hypothesis about its necessity to survival in tartarus would be correct. ]

[ besides, she trusts claire. so she puts it to her mouth and swallows it down in two sips. she's never done a real shot before, okay. this girl has never been drunk. ]

[ the first thing she does is stick out her tongue, even as she starts counting internally to ten. ]

Too much cinnamon.

[ Claire watches intently, and she has to take the criticism, noting it down. ]

Get rid of it completely in favor of something else, or just less?

[ Annabeth downed the shot like a pro, she's got a real future in tequila ahead of her if she wants, but Claire is watching her features for any sort of reddening. ]

I should've taken into account your circulatory system might be superior to the average person's...hmm.

[ She taps her pen against ther lips, eyebrows raised as she waits for more assessment from her willing volunteer. ]

[ annabeth gets a contemplative look on her face, waiting for... whatever's going to happen. it should probably be worrisome, but again, it's claire - she's probably not going to shove anything at her she can't handle here. ]

Just less. Were you trying to mask a flavor I should be worried about?

[ but she supposes it's been about ten seconds by now, so she frowns thoughtfully and even thinks about shaking out her limbs, but that seems silly. ]

All my systems run a little higher than normal humans. [ there's a pause. ]

I don't think I feel any different. [ but she could be thinking too much, looking for something drastic. ]

No, nothing to worry about. Unless you're allergic to jalapeño. Are you allergic to things the way normal humans are?

[ When Annabeth admits feeling nothing, she sighs, although Claire isn't too disappointed, considering she used purely human metrics. ]

It's supposed to be a draught to warm you from the inside, literally. Not just a coffee or tea that makes you feel warmth while you're drinking it.

[ What she's describing is a potion, but it's a tea. The former word isn't even registering in her mind. ]

The cinnamon is a warming agent, but not the key piece. It was mostly there for familiarity. I'd like to wait a half hour and try again, if you don't mind waiting. There's fresh blackberry cake.

[ Is she attempting to bribe? Perhaps. But if she increases the dried leaves and adds ground root, lessens the cinnamon and bumps up the magic a ton for someone only half human...]

Only if you're willing, of course.

I'm not. But it's possible. [ at least, she hasn't found anything she's allergic to yet, but frank is lactose intolerant... ]

[ she just sort of nods along, accepting claire's thought process. ] That'd be useful, especially if we're going into colder months here.

[ she idly looks around at the mention of cake, never one to say no to treats. she might act cooler sometimes but she's still a teenager who loves sweets. she would have helped even without the offer, but she's not gonna say no. ]

I'll be a little less biased next time, but sure, why not? [ she loves a good experiment. and cake. ] Though if you're trying to get it to work on regular people, I'm probably not a good standard. It might warm me faster than can be expected too.

Edited 2024-09-16 21:20 (UTC)

That...is...an excellent point. [ Claire lightly bites at the inside of her bottom lip as she thinks, one hand on her hip. ] This is now the sort of draught I think I'd have to mix on the spot for the individual, not something to bottle en masse and sell.

[ This is why she loves having people to talk things out with, she hadn't though tof that before Annabeth. ] Which changes things completely, from a shop keeping point of view. Would a hypothetical owner hire a staff of one, then, to mind the front while draughts are made?

[ As she muses aloud, Claire begins making another, adjusting for Annabeth specifically; she doesn't want it to be bitter with the additions, so to smooth over the leaves and seeds, she mixes in a few other things. The result is something almost sweet and sour sauce flavored, but thinner. ]

Alright, we'll wait a bit and try this one after you have cake.

[ Just in case there are any delayed effects. She breaks away to go to the actual kitchen, not far, and looks up with a smile as she cuts. ]

How have you been, dear? Anything notable happening in your neck of the woods?

We have this food back home - ambrosia - and it can help speed up the healing process. If you're brewing a magical warming potion, I think it'd either work faster on me or I'd need it to be stronger. We can try for both versions, if you'd like.

[ she loves a good experiment! ]

I guess it depends on how popular the shop gets? [ annabeth knows a lot of things, but running a hypothetical store is not one of them. she'd rather handle the numbers. she also knows claire was probably just talking to herself aloud, but she replies before she thinks about it. ]

Well, I'm not going to say no to cake. [ she meanders closer to the kitchen too, leaning against the counter while she considers how to answer claire's question. ]

I'm okay. It's... quieter than I might have thought after everything that just happened. [ but she supposes that happens sometimes, a lull after the fighting. a pause in the face of its chaos, where perhaps everyone is just trying to carry on like normal. ]

[ she might be thinking a lot about war lately, both in concept and in her mother. ] Though maybe not, when it's a powder keg.

I've heard of that. To quote various sources from my time, ambrosia is the 'nectar of the Gods.' Some historians believe it was just a well-honeyed mead. [ She doesn't pretend to know that's a fact, not when someone who would know is right there. She offers a wry smirk. ] I'm assuming that's not the case at all. As far as experimenting goes, let's see how far this next one gets us and I'll decide from there.

[ She cuts two pieces of cake for them and returns to the table before sitting for a little break. Medicinal brew aside, her attention is on Annabeth. ]

Honestly, I'm surprised it's quieter out your way, too. Though I'm glad for it, however long it lasts. Solvunn's excitement tends to come in grand gestures such as ritual sacrifice to a new God.

[ She shakes her head; the statement deserves a bite of cake, so she takes one. Once she's thought about her words a bit more, she arches an eyebrow. ]

Someone is plotting. Likely multiple someones. It's only a matter of who strikes next.

We have the nectar too - but that one's a liquid. For us, we can only consume portions of it to help. Too much burns us alive. Both taste like... well, something comforting to the individual, in that moment.

[ she happily accepts the cake with a thank you, immediately slicing off a piece and shoving it into her mouth. ]

[ she makes a bit of a face over the ritual sacrifice comment, but doesn't really remark on it. ]

If I knew more about the politics of the other territories, I feel like I could think on the plotting in a more productive way, because I think you're right that it's only a matter of time. [ but she's barely spent time trying to fully grasp thorne, too busy in those first few weeks using it as a reprieve from home. a mistake she continues to only half try to rectify. annabeth understands war, but therein lies the problem. so many problems. ]

But regular people always just try to get by, regardless of the fighting around them. They're probably waiting just as anxiously.

[ That's fascinating to Claire, both the burning alive and taste portion. She wonders if there's a way to replicate it - not the burning, but the taste manipulation. With the help of magic...that's a thought she shelves for another day. ]

I've been through so many wars at this point, and if I ever leave here, there's at least one more to go. You'd think by now I could be a bloody political strategist.

[ She tried her hand at espionage and sabotage. Failed, lost a daughter for it. She's sticking to her lane from now on, healing and comforting only. ]

All that I know to do is be as prepared as possible, and keep living life. I think that's all anyone can do, darling.

[ She takes a sip of tea, knowing that's not the most comforting thought, that they're helpless to the whims of the people who've decided they're in power. ]

I am a strategist. [ it's out before she really thinks about it, though it's probably not a particularly startling statement from annabeth. ]

[ she frowns and eats another bite of cake. it seems a bit at odds with where her mind is at, but it's really tasty. ]

I was in the middle of a war too, before I woke up here. [ she doesn't know the exact state of it, isn't even sure how much of it she missed in tartarus. tartarus itself feels like a whole other war. ]

And I'm always prepared, or at least I try to be. I know war and strategy as much as I know what happens in the lull in between. It's just... part of me.

[ she pauses. ] My mother - I've never told you who she was, have I? [ it seems strange, given she hasn't felt the need to be secretive about it anymore, and perhaps it's not very surprising to anyone who comes to know anything about annabeth as a person. ] I'm a child of Athena. War is literally in my blood.

[ Claire's eyes widen, eyebrows climbing up her forehead. It had to be one of the gods though, so she isn't stunned into silence. Still, Athena. ]

No, you hadn't told me, but now I've been preaching to the choir, haven't I?

[ She chuckles softly, taking a bite of cake. But it does make sense for as adept as she knows Annabeth is, the pieces of the puzzle are starting to come together. A few are still scattered about, but the picture is becoming clearer. ]

This is going to sound childish, and I don't mean for it to, but it isn't fair to be pulled from life and one war, into another and someone else's war completely. We have no stake in this other than saving ourselves because we were forced here.

[ Not that she dislikes being in Abraxas, she's quite fond of it, actually. But that isn't the point. ]

[ there are many, many expectations that come with being a child of athena, and for most of her life, annabeth felt she thrived under them. but on the other side of tartarus, she isn't so sure. athena has the legacy and reputation she does for a reason. ]

[ she lets out a puff of a laugh. ] It's fine. It's just weird to be open about it here, but it's not like I want to run around announcing it every conversation either.

[ she takes another bite of her own cake, chewing it and savoring the taste, trying to pretend it's not just a horizon treat. ]

Then I'm childish too. Because it's tiring. Parts of being have been... nice. Like a respite, in those lulls. [ she shoves another bite of cake into her mouth, a little more aggressively than the one prior. she considers for a moment if she wants to keep talking and finds that she does. ] I've been thinking a lot about war lately. And my mother. And this place.

[ Claire has found that she absolutely loves eating in the horizon. All the food and none of the consequences of over-indulging? She'll take it. She eats all the damn time when she's here and tries not to think about what it means long-term to eat magic. ]

Respites are nice. [ She hums her agreement, then looks at Annabeth with small but genuinely warm smile. ] But they aren't enough. Not by half.

[ She knows she isn't Annabeth's mother, nor is she her guardian, but there's a protectiveness she feels toward her, and the instinct to listen. She attempts a little joke, but she's serious. ]

I'm but a mere mortal, but I'm happy to be an ear for you, and if you need it, I'm happy to try and give advice.

[ Sometimes that isn't what's needed. Feelings are sometimes just that, and don't need to be solved. Either way though, Claire is here for Annabeth, smiling around a bite of cake. ]

No. I'm still waiting for something more permanent. [ in terms of peace, at least. she feels like she's been building permanence in other ways. ]

[ how long had she so thoroughly tried to reject her mortal half, on the basis of her mortal family so solidly rejecting her first? and here she is now, wanting to run away from the godly half. annabeth looks at claire almost studiously for a few moments as she eats another bite of cake, then drops her gaze to the food instead so she doesn't have to keep eye contact. ]

Maybe it's the mortal part that's more appealing. [ she shoves another piece in her mouth, continuing to somewhat grumpily eat her way through her feelings. ]

My mother is a war god. So are... the Heralds. [ she squeezes the fork. ] I'm part war god. I don't... want to be like that. Like the Heralds.

[ Claire is too, and at least she knows now that she'll have it, at some point. Lord John's promised her there's happiness, and Claire choose to believe that there's a version of her living a life, finally the way she'd wanted.

Instead of saying any of that she listens, making a soft sound in the back of her throat. Both hands are wrapped around her mug, and she thinks about Annabeth's words. ]

You're also part of something more than your mother or the Heralds. You're made up of...billions of atoms that were all something else once. You can make yourself whatever you choose to be, because a part of you has been that before. That has nothing to do with your parentage.

[ Claire hasn't been staring at Annabeth, instead looking somewhere out of the window behind her, but she does glance at her now, offering a warm smile should she chance raising her gaze. ]

[ annabeth is getting there. something permanent doesn't feel as out of reach as it used to. the idea of it is such a huge part of what helped her through tartarus; she can't give up on it now. ]

[ she knew, obviously, that admitting to claire some of the things on her mind would elicit some sort of response. perhaps she'd wanted one like this all along but didn't really know how to ask for it. ]

[ she isn't looking at claire as the woman speaks, but as she goes on, annabeth can feel a smile threatening to slip onto her face until it finally catches the corner of her mouth. she doesn't want to be her mother, for all the pieces she might still admire, and she certainly doesn't want to be her father, but most of all she doesn't want to be made of war. and she's been through so much of it already. she looks up at claire to meet her gaze and feels lighter, smiling back. ]

Yeah. You're right. I can and I will choose for myself.

[ she always tries to anyway. sometimes, maybe, she does just get a little too bogged down by war. ]

It's just hard not to worry sometimes, I guess, when there's been so much war. I really can't wait to leave it all behind one day.

I hope you're able to do that some day, I really do. You deserve not to have that burden. You're so young, it's important that you get to explore who you are and who you want to be, without war hanging over you.

[ Claire pauses; she hates this war, the uncertainty of it. She doesn't know who it will wind up impacting the worst, if there will be a dire need for medical attention, if she'll lose anyone she loves. ]

That said, it's difficult not to worry. I think I worry every day. The key is not to let the worry stop you.

[ annabeth sometimes does not feel as young as she is, but she wonders if that's just part of being a demigod, given she feels like she struggles more with the mortal part of her life when it comes to normalcy. she knows what's normal for the god side. ]

Sometimes I don't think war is ever really going to stop, but it would be nice if it didn't have to involve me all the time. That'd help with some of the worries.

[ and percy, and everyone she cares about, but the last few years especially have felt like one thing after another, probably from the labyrinth onward. ]

My parentage is a huge part of me. I can't really stop being a demigod, and I don't really want to give it up either, but...

[ she pauses. ] I want to be an architect. That's something that's all mine.

it's not your act of creation

🐺🐺

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