meiren: (08)
Zhou Zishu (周子舒) ([personal profile] meiren) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs2022-03-21 09:06 pm

[open] as the water grinds the stone

Who: Zhou Zishu and Open
What: Exploring Cadens, poking around the Horizon, event nonsense
Where: Cadens, Horizon
When: March
Warnings: References to chronic pain and sense loss

[ Starters in comments below, open unless stated otherwise. Hit me up at [plurk.com profile] talkincodes or PM for something specific or plotting. ]
yeshou: (14)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-03-31 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
[ The beautiful open land around the mountains and thick orchards full of blossoms spread out with sweet air and warmth. But right when the trees seem like they might go on forever, they stop. The winds turn too hot and oppressive, and huge stone mounds rise up, bearing the likenesses of various Buddhas as if they are guarding the area. Only a small opening between them is left as a path for people to travel through. The shadows loom, creating a strange contrast with the rest of that part of the Horizon.

Wen Kexing is outside of the beginning of the valley, scrutinizing it as if he's appraising some artistic sculpture, his hand pressed against his back. ]


...Can it really be hell if they are all empty?
yeshou: (17)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-10 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
A-Xu.

[ He turns at the sound of Zhou Zishu's voice, breathing in quickly and raising one hand to check that his face is in order before it can be fully seen. It's silly at this point to mourn something that he'd largely hated for most of his life. He'd spent years fantasizing about the destruction of Qingya Valley, and now that he's standing before the empty shell of it, without its thousands of bitter ghosts, it seems... small. Not unlike the farmhouse that used to just house three lost souls and a single dog.

He smiles as he faces Zhou Zishu, reaching out to touch the side of one arm. ]


Isn't this wandering awfully far from the grounds? Why is our Manor Lord so far from his home? Did you get lost?
yeshou: (51)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-10 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ He can't quite keep the shine from his eyes, but there aren't any tears yet. Wen Kexing isn't sure himself what to feel about the place that destroyed and reformed him, turning him into a monster, but he was the monster that survived. The Ghost Valley was a terrible place, but at the end of the day, wasn't it his? Didn't he belong to it, perhaps more than anywhere else? Just as Zhou Zishu brought the Four Seasons along with him, this was proof that Qingya always followed Wen Kexing. ]

Well, they wouldn't be right without you.

[ He's happy to see his zhiji returned to his place, even if this turns out to be some illusion. Wen Kexing knows how important the manor is to him. He shifts to stand next to Zhou Zishu, looking up at the great statues and the stone gate giving its warning to anyone below of what awaits beyond. ]

Heh. It is a little unexpected. But I guess ghosts won't be dismissed too easily.
yeshou: (12)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-10 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[ His hand closes tightly around Zhou Zishu's, clinging instinctively to the grounding hold as Wen Kexing looks down the path between the stone guardians standing above them. When he was young, the valley statues had always seemed massive and terrifying, like something that would come to life and crush him if he made one wrong step. Now, after everything that's happened to them, Wen Kexing isn't sure what they'll find. He draws in a deep breath, hesitating as he holds onto Zishu.

He should say something. Wen Kexing always has at least nonsense to fill his emptiness with. But for some reason as he stares into the Valley, he can't find the words he wants. With another squeeze to Zhou Zishu's palm, he starts walking down the narrow path, steps falling stiffly as he leads the way.

It's empty. None of the ghosts are anywhere in sight. Somehow, he almost feels like an intruder again. ]
yeshou: (29)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-11 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
[ Wen Kexing treads lightly. He used to march himself through the gate, head held high and eyes staring cold death at anyone that dared to meet them. He used to reign over the other ghosts with fear, a dangerous predator among other dangerous predators.

Even though he walks softly, his footfalls still make sounds, echoing in hushed whispers as his soles brush stone. Eventually he stops the two of them in the open hall below the high cliff where he used to preside. It's small, even though it could hold an army of followers before and always felt terrifyingly large even when he grew up. He can hear his own breathing, heavy air rising to his throat and trembling as it escapes. ]


I wanted them all to disappear. To burn.

[ The words come out mournful. ]

I used to dream of a time when all of this would be left barren and abandoned. I didn't think that this place could hold anything worth having. Only pain.

[ But as he looks around at the empty stone places that once held people, some very familiar, Wen Kexing notices now how much they are missing. ]

She took care of me. And she lived here too.
yeshou: (31)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-13 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ Wen Kexing frowns, wondering at the truth of those words. Would anyone be happy that the Valley Master had left the Ghost Valley? He wanders into the center of the room, looking around the open space like he's never seen it before. For all the years he spent in the Valley, it suddenly looks completely unfamiliar and new.

Should he be happy about that? Angry? Wen Kexing clenches his hands at his sides, squeezing his fists together tightly... and finds none of the familiar rage that kept him alive for so long. Every new direction is just an empty spot, not even leaving a shadow of someone that used to stand there. The ones he hated and the ones he loved haven't even left a memento behind them. ]


They're all gone.

[ He can't help sounding a bit bitter at that. He sucks in a breath, but refuses to let any tears fall. He laughs quietly instead. ]

But I'm still here. I guess it didn't disappear like that old monster wanted after all. He'll be angry.
yeshou: (35)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-14 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ Wen Kexing is lost in the cold gray walls and the open cavern of the lair where the ghosts used to hold their meetings. He's still looking up, around, to each side, trying to find something he already knows won't return. When he hears Zhou Zishu say his name, he startles, turning around sharply to face him like he was stung, but smiling, because the Valley Master is still standing in Ghost Valley. He doesn't notice the quickness of his own breathing. ]

A-Xu.

[ He goes back to him, stopping just short of too close. ]

I didn't mean to.
yeshou: (33)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-17 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ His hands come up instinctively to hold Zhou Zishu's elbows. Either to pull away or brace himself, although Wen Kexing doesn't do either. He remains frozen in place, looking at Zhou Zishu like he's much taller and stronger than he is. Even though Wen Kexing could pull back, he doesn't try. ]

Iridescent cloud scattered and glaze shattered, who will cry with the ghosts of Mount Qingya?

[ It comes out as a verse, a piece of the song, but then fades back again as Wen Kexing goes quiet. He has to find the words himself, piece through the mess of emotions strewn out like broken bits of a mosaic he hasn't looked at in full. ]

I hated them. I would have been happy to let the sects come and kill all three thousand ghosts. They deserved it after what they did.

[ His voice rises slightly with a harsh rasp to the words, threatening and tight. And then the tension snaps like a wire. ]

But I didn't want them to take her. Why? Why did I let them in?
yeshou: (15)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-17 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Wen Kexing stays in place, held by Zhou Zishu's hands and by the echo of another that once comforted him. At first he doesn't know who he's really looking at, staring up at Zhou Zishu's face as if he can't quite make him out. But after hearing his name and hearing that question, the confusion clears and leaves behind wide-eyed pain.

He opens his mouth to say something, maybe to protest, but his grip tightens on his lover's arms instead. ]


I can't be left behind. And I can't leave them behind. Even though I want to... They don't deserve it.

[ It's a strange thought to have. He had always been happy to blame the Valley ghosts for their crimes and abandon them to the judgment of the rest of the world, be it Ye Beiyi or anyone else. But staying with Zhou Zishu had been what really made the difference. Maybe Mount Qingya didn't deserve to stand right next to the beloved Four Seasons, but Zhou Zishu had never left him. Wen Kexing breathes out, letting the anger and sadness fill the empty space around them. ]

I'm sorry I brought it here.
yeshou: (12)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-19 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ The grip on his jaw and familiar harsh words manage to make Wen Kexing smile despite the heavy weight in his chest. He can laugh through it, shaking the pressure loose by being his typical, rough self. It's reassuring, knowing that Zhou Zishu is there to comfort and tease him, and it's a reminder to Wen Kexing that he has to be strong, to hold on so he can ensure this man keeps living. ]

Tsk, A-Xu, you know I am a man of good deeds. What do I have to do with this place?

[ But even Wen Kexing can't keep that act up. His smile fades as quickly as it comes and he steps closer, finding comfort in Zhou Zishu's shadow. ]

Can we leave? I don't like to see it when it's empty. I don't... know what I would do to change it.

[ After decades of only wanting to see it destroyed, building is definitely a new concept. But maybe with Zhou Zishu he could try. Maybe- some other time. Almost like a child, Wen Kexing feels the urge to flee instead. ]
yeshou: (38)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-24 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ He's ashamed of how relieved he feels to be out of the Valley. After this long, Wen Kexing isn't afraid of the Ghost Valley any more than he's afraid of a group of stray dogs. He knows his own strength, and the valley itself isn't anything he can't tear down if he wanted to. But what he's really afraid of is the loneliness it brings.

Standing in the middle of the Siji orchard, surrounded by bright lights and endless trees, he feels far less alone. The Ghost Valley Master with no ghosts is a pitiful title to hold. Wen Kexing takes several long moments of slow, heavy breaths before he manages a smile for Zhou Zishu again. ]


I should be happy that it is empty. No one has to be trapped there anymore. I'd rather live on the mountain with A-Xu, holding you in my arms every day.

But... I guess it shouldn't be left like that.
yeshou: (31)

[personal profile] yeshou 2022-04-28 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
[ The words sting, even though they are offered with surprising gentleness. Wen Kexing knows how hard it is for both of them to be kind or soft, and as awkward as Zhou Zishu must feel pulling him close, Wen Kexing appreciates the gesture. It's just difficult to find the right words. He usually avoids them for nicer, more flowery options. ]

They took care of me. All of them.

[ He lifts his hands to Zhou Zishu's back, afraid the man will lean away and see his face. He can't bear that. What Valley Master? He feels utterly ridiculous in that moment. He had worked so hard, clawing his way to the top of the pack, and somehow he's still helpless. ]

All that time I thought everyone was my enemy. I only looked after myself. But they and you were looking after me too.

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