abraxaslogs | ( catch-all ) can we just start over

Entry tags:

( catch-all ) can we just start over

WHO: Stephen Strange & Various
WHAT: Post-canon update shenanigans and other things.
WHEN: Throughout the month of August.
WHERE: Thorne & the Horizon

(( closed starters below! PM this journal or hit me up at

aurajen if you want to plot something! ))

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[ perhaps stephen missed one of his and yennefer's relatively frequent study sessions. or maybe it was an evening sharing a bottle of wine. or, maybe, it's the simple fact that something has changed in him, a sudden growing older, that yennefer recognizes. something that takes her back to her own weeks, locked away in her room, wondering what the singularity had done.

either way, one day stephen will be going back to his study. or his classroom. or through the door to some hallway in the wing only he is allowed to enter. wherever it is, there will be a student who catches up to him, one that he recognizes as one of yennefer's apprentices. she looks a little harried, like this is only one item on a long list of things she needs to do before the sun sets, and she will hand him a note and rush off without really waiting for a response.

when he decides to read it, he will see yennefer's casual scrawl, not quite trying but looping all the same. ]

You owe me a bottle of wine.
The gardens. Tonight.

[ she doesn't give him a chance to accept or deny - just a heads up that she will be expecting him. ]

[The note's practically plunged into his scarred hands before he understands what's happening, eyebrows raising in surprise as he whirls on a heel to track what he's reasonably sure was Yennefer's apprentice passing him by. He doesn't even get the chance to ask what it's for, she's already turned disappeared 'round the corner of the castle hall, and Stephen can't help but think to himself, Poor girl needs a break.

He's reading the note only moments later, his curiosity demanding that he pause everything else to see what's so important — and a familiar script looks up at him, scrawled plainly on the note itself, not so much asking for his presence than expecting it.

Looks like it's time to add "find a nice bottle of wine" to his to-do list for the day.

Nighttime comes quickly enough; time never slows for those overburdened with ongoing tasks in the castle, but the gardens offer a semblance of peace and quiet found nowhere else. As though time itself has stopped for those seeking refuge from the hustle and bustle and expectation hung so heavily above their heads, stilled completely in the open, pleasant area hemmed with bright blossoms that climb wooden lattices and hang from well-kept archways.

Stephen passes under one such archway, seeking out Yennefer. As requested, he carries a bottle of wine by the neck, its label scrawled with gold-leafed lettering and harkening back to a year he certainly has no real context for. But it's of a vintage, high quality, and he's sure his company for the night would expect absolutely nothing less.]

[ yennefer's apprentices have been kept busy, and that is really the nicest way she can explain it. they're hard workers, determined and stubborn, all of which would be necessary where it concerns learning from yennefer. that is not to say she is a mean teacher - honestly tissaia would most likely find her on the softer side, what with the inherent lack of lightning, lessons designed to humiliate and break, and the usual trauma wrapped up in the halls of aretuza. no, yennefer is not here to teach these students how to harness magic, rather she has been given room to study, and workers with which to show her processes and skills and who, along the way, yennefer does find she has time to instruct.

now - none of this is really important, considering the purpose of this meeting is between her and stephen. stephen, who has apparently been up to his own adventures within the halls. stephen, who yennefer knows how his own studies, his own pupils, most of them summoned. still, it has been some time since the two of them have found a free moment together, so yennefer decides to create one.

which goes to say - by the time stephen wanders his way out into the garden, a vast level of hidden pathways, small fountains, and more variety of plant life than anyone really should have access to (but that's a topic of discussion for a later time, no need to get into classism and royal and money for now) he will find yennefer, lounging on a stone bench, reading from yet another tome. she looks bored, and all too ready to put the book down when he arrives.

when her eyes fall to the bottle in his hand, she smiles, pleased, and then stands. ]

You've been keeping busy.

[It’s a nice, isolated little area, hemmed by so many perfectly trimmed flowers. Yennefer’s taken up most of the bench when he spots her, and he raises a brow as she straightens to greet him, holding the wine bottle out, label-first.]

Yeah, been busy hunting this down for you. Only the highest of vintage quality for my favorite sorceress in all of Thorne.

[Flattery will get him everywhere, clearly, not that he has to ply it too much or often with Yennefer; they’re more used to flinging quips back and forth between each other, but there is something about seeing her—actually seeing her, not just passing each other in long, cold corridors—after his “return” to Abraxas that makes him feel oddly nostalgic. His smile is warm, even if his eyes are tired.]

My work around the castle keeps me occupied. [He adds, just a little more seriously, drawing closer. Nearby, a little round stone table sits. Stephen waves a hand and two wine glasses appear sparkling atop it.] You know that better than anyone.

...Still no excuse, though, I know.

[ flattery will indeed get him everywhere, especially where it concerns yennefer. she closes the distance between them and reaches for the aforementioned bottle, looking all the part excited and pleased by the selection. he has officially bought her forgiveness where it concerns the distance. ]

Oh, I'm your favorite? Because I'm also certain I'm the only sorceress in all of Thorne. Well- unless you have suddenly grown close to Jolene.

[ yennefer throws another smile at him, because this is easy, this back and forth between them. but it's also in that moment that yennefer really has a chance to see him, to catch a closer look and confirm (at least where she's concerned) what she had thought she noticed.

he looks older- not by much, maybe, but by more than he should. and it isn't just his exhaustion. for a second, maybe two, yennefer is just sort of searching his face, trying to put her finger on what it is that is catching her attention. ] Is it just your work, though? [ she ends up asking, a bit quieter, before yennefer exhales - choosing to let stephen bring it up if he wishes, and she turns to where he's summoned them both glasses and moves to open the bottle. ]

But you aren't wrong. Something is brewing behind the scenes with how many requests I'm getting for potions. It feels a bit like they're trying to build stock. [ yennefer shrugs, though, and pours a glass for each of them and set the bottle down, turning and offering one back to him. ] I'm sure Ambrose has you studying all sorts of Singularity readings.

Being the only sorceress makes you my favorite by default.

[She’s right, the quipping back is easy. It’s comfortable, natural — so is the quirk of his lips as she deals with the wine bottle. This is part of the Abraxas routine that’s easiest to fall into, compared to his work, his lessons, assistant mages coming up to him with requests or questions or missives.

It fades a little, though, at the question. Yennefer is keen-eyed, and even though Stephen tries to conduct himself the same as usual (the same as he remembers; it feels years ago), there are parts of him that he simply cannot change. The wrinkles just a little deeper, reaching at the corner of his eyes. The streaks of grey at his temples, more prevalent than before. His jaw sets, considering how to say this — he never planned on not telling her.]

Guess we should talk about— [A very vague gesture with his free hand.] —everything. [They can loop back around to Ambrose in a bit. First, frankness and honesty.]

I should have told you sooner, but it just feels like I’ve been scrambling since I’ve come back. [“Come back?” Uh-oh.] I had a vision, where I returned home and lived years of my life. So much happened, and having woken up again ironically is like… returning to an old dream I never knew I had. An old life I had forgotten about.

I'm so honored. [ she says flatly, though a smile breaks through in the moments that follow, entirely taking the legs out from the joke. but she assumes that it won't matter, because she has trust that they will find themselves back there again if they need to. because joking, sarcasm, back and forth - they are easy veils to shroud complicated topics. protection, if stephen really doesn't want to get into what yennefer sees on the edges of his eyes.

his relenting to discuss, though, does have her brows lifting curiously. in part because she wondered if she would have to press him for more information, and also because she wants to look like she hadn't, necessarily, been digging - even when they both know she has.

it's not until stephen says come back that the lighter, curious, joking side of yennefer stills. she listens to everything he says, about living years of his life, about waking up and returning to an old dream. the color drains a bit from yennefer's face. ]

I understand the feeling. [ a beat, a pause, and yennefer swallows. ] You woke up with the vision, yes? A night of dreams and then...

Edited 2022-09-08 14:08 (UTC)

[Stephen finally sits, the bench creaking dimly in protest. He swirls his wine around in the glass, looking at Yennefer, perplexed by the sudden stillness in her features.

She speaks from familiarity, and could that mean—?]

And then, waking up, it was like all of those so-called “dreams” were real.

[He knows they were. His memories and Wanda’s lined up perfectly, all that pain and trauma and fear, there for them both. Receiving, giving, making it all the more complicated here and now.]

Hey. [He scoots a foot out, bumps his ankle gently against hers. A casual, friendly gesture of a degree so rarely seen from Stephen; but Yen is one the few who would wrangle it out of him when his concern dares to shift towards her, instead.] Don’t tell me the same thing happened to you.

[ there is a part of yennefer that does hear stephen, about waking up, about the dreams being real. she gets something of a faraway look in her eyes as she remembers those first few weeks, now months ago. when she hadn't known what was going on, when she'd woken up and been cut off from everything. what she knew of home layered over what she knew from here and the fact there hadn't been anyone she could turn to in the castle, how the few people she could turn to either turned her away (geralt) or she could barely reach (jaskier).

( she thinks of the days and nights she spent locked away in her room, terrified to step outside. the days and nights she considered running, to not, to solvunn, anywhere. a bit of that feeling creeps back up her spine now, something cold and dark and lonely. )

hey he says, bumping his ankle against her's. it's the touch that does it, that has yennefer blinking and back and looking over to find stephen looking back. don't tell me he says, and yennefer gives him a small, tired smile in return. nods, taking a slow breath and a sip from her glass and settles next to him on the bench, pressed up against him as she does. ]

A few months ago, before we were sent out on the quest by Ambrose, when my... [ she trails off, because while they are secluded enough out in these gardens, as long as they are within the castle, some part of her will always worry. so instead of finishing, she gestures with her glass.

when I lost my magic the gesture says, her eyes on the swirl of her wine. ]

Edited 2022-09-13 12:55 (UTC)

[The gentle swirl of the wine in her glass might as well speak volumes. Her trailing silence only serves as space for Stephen to complete the sentence in his mind. When she lost her magic.

There is a part of him that never really thought her magic dissipating was related to something happening in her world, but now, given that context, it is all too easy to tie those connective strings together. A few months ago, she had fallen into a deep dream state just like him. A few months ago, and she had woken up, finding herself missing her magic. He cannot imagine what that must have been like, what it would have felt like for him.

(Like waking up, suddenly missing a limb. Or like waking up, suddenly finding one’s hands gone useless, every bone in them broken—)

His stomach sinks a little. His mouth twists into a deeper frown.]

They’re not just dreams, then. It’s as if time is trying to catch up to us, winding its way back into ourselves here — like it’s trying to fix the timeline we were never a part of because we’re stuck in Abraxas.

[That’s just a theory, spun off the top of his head. But that’s what it feels like.]

…You should have told me sooner, Yennefer.

[ stephen is able to put it together, and there is no small part of yennefer that is once again relieved at all she doesn't have to say. that he understands what it feels like, what it means. at the time, they had been mere acquaintances, excited conversations about chaos, about theory, about the potential of the singularity and how they could use it. they had been partners at the singularity itself, had felt it yearn for that power, much like the yearning that yennefer has never quite dropped. hungry, desperate, starved. then she had disappeared for days, weeks, because she couldn't be seen about the castle. she couldn't let it be known, and then-

yennefer takes another breath, taking a long sip from her wine, as she feels stephen's frown at her side deepen. as she listens to the theory he spouts with barely any time at all. it pulls a frown from her, though her's has more to do with the idea of it than the implication. ]

It does not always work- the dreams I had, or whatever you wish to call them- memories- others from home had them too, but we did not all end up with the same amount. It's almost as if the connection was lost, or... [ she shakes her head, not quite liking where her thoughts are going, finding too many issues in the basis of it.

but that is when stephen's tone shifts - or, maybe it doesn't shift at all. maybe he just shifts the focus back, to her, to her loss of magic, to the fact when it happened she hadn't had anyone except for jaskier and geralt to tell, and her only way to tell them, had been fractured too.

there's a smile to her lips, now, but the edge of it is more sad than it is dangerous. she glances back to him, one of her brows arched. ] I should have? [ as if she is asking him really? in this castle? in these walls? so much has changed since then, since those dark nights, lost and alone. it's why she's having this conversation at all. ] It changes nothing. [ there is a pause, and then that smile fades to a look of curiosity, instead. ]

What happened, in those years? You look... [ she lets go of her wine glass with one of her hands, reaching up to brush her fingers against the more prominently grey streaks of his hair. it looks like she wants to say something else, but when her eyes turn back to his face, the hint of that smile is more understanding, empathetic. ] Tired.

[Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference if she told him sooner or otherwise. Maybe that look of hers is right—in these castle halls?—but still, he thinks it’s a shame that she had to carry that upon herself for so long, perhaps the only ones to share her burden being those from her own world.

Stephen gives an apologetic little smile when she brushes her fingertips across his temples. He knows exactly what she’s referring to — his grey, probably much more prominent now that the “years” have passed between then and now.]

Where to start?

[Honestly, where. Even beyond the big events, the day-to-day keeps him busy as a sorcerer of Kamar-Taj. Always something to do, some magic to tend to, some spell to seal up tight around the edges of a blizzard might spill in through the Sanctum.]

The multiverse was thrown into turmoil not once, but twice. [That smile of his turns facetious as though to say, Hooray!] I did manage to keep it all from splitting apart, and save a teenager or two. But time, in general, has just been… tiring, Yennefer.

[ part of yennefer wonders if it would have made a difference, if stephen had known. looking back on it now, she can recognize that so much of what was difficult was her isolation. that she had gone from able, capable, safe within her own power, to drifting alone through the days, unsure, terrified, alone. whether or not geralt or jaskier knew what happened had not helped, had not felt like a share of the burden, not when she felt like she was facing the emptiness all over again. just the same as the first time - alone, screaming, lost.

but they did not really know each other before then, did they? it had taken their quest, the month out on the road, the attack that had left stephen torn open, before it could come out at all.

for now, yennefer's attention is on him. on the grey in his hair, the years added to his eyes. his smile turns almost apologetic at her question, and yennefer's eyes flick from his temple to his face. it is his explanation that finally has her hand falling to his arm, setting it there more for...what? encouragement? just for a reason to keep that touch?

stephen has explained to her the concept of the 'multiverse' - something she understands, at a theoretical level, though once again the term seems a bit ridiculous - but it is the exhaustion in his face, even in his smile, that tells her more than anything. tiring he says, and yennefer nods. ] Time does have a way of exhausting you. At least your aging suits you. [ if stephen looks, he can probably see something of a joking curl to yennefer's smile. just a little bit of teasing. ]

What’s this? A silver lining?

[His lips quirk. A moment while Stephen indulges himself by literally downing the rest of his glass — is it elegant? Not particularly. But does he feel like he deserves it? Yes. Maybe the whole damn bottle.

But then he sets that empty glass down on the a clear space of the bench next to him, just so he can free up that hand and give hers, on his forearm, a gentle squeeze. She will feel the slight tremor that is always present, unless he is actively using magic to steady his fingers; there’s no need right now. She is more than aware of the state of them, and he has not been ashamed of a shuddering touch for a long while, now.]

At least I have you to flatter me. Thanks, Yennefer, just… for listening, I guess. I know thre isn’t a lot more you can do than that.

Only if you want to call it that.

[ his lips quirk, and yennefer's mirror him, watching as he downs the rest of the glass and lets a bit of that weight settle back over him. or perhaps settle further over him. if he mentioned how he had been thinking of the rest of the bottle, she probably would have given it to him, if only because she knows how much she needed it, all those months ago.

when stephen's hand over her own, she does feel the slight tremor to his hands. a tremor she has noticed more and more over time, one that feels - in a lot of ways - like a secret, even when she knows it hardly is. her hand, under his, squeezes once, just as she leans in close to him, her side pressed against his, to whisper- ]

Don't let it go to your head. I can always take it back. [ when she pulls away, she doesn't bother hiding the entertained, near-laughter in her smile. the joking glint to her eyes. because she does understand the weight of what he feels, in her own way, and she does know there is very little either of them can do about it.

so, for now, what yennefer can do is reach for the bottle. refill their glasses, and hand him back his own, now full, if he does feel like following through with downing another glass of this very good wine. ]

You have nothing to worry about, the Singularity is not nearly done with you.

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( catch-all ) can we just start over

bats eyelashes at.

COME HERE YOU

WRAPS AROUND

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