EVENT #10: AFFLICTION - IC POST

[abraxasmods]

Event #10 - Affliction

go to the OOC event info & plotting post

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With tensions heavy across Abraxas and all the destruction that's happened, it's no surprise that the dark shadows which sweep over the land go unnoticed...at first.

Winds initially stir in Solvunn, where the influence of the Old Gods remains the strongest. Slowly each Herald infects Thorne and the Free Cities, as well. The Summoned are the first to feel its effects and are the most heavily impacted.

Though no one will realize it until well afterwards, Nocwich remains unaffected. After all, the Summoned don't reside there.

NOTE: This event will deal with themes of death (people and animal) and horror imagery.

Emergence

It begins sometime in mid-October, around the 18th. Not everyone will experience it at the same time. You might even believe you're spared until days afterwards when you're visited by an unusually vivid dream.

The dream starts the same for everyone: you are going somewhere, anywhere, walking to your bedroom or enjoying a stroll on the beach. You might be driving down a familiar neighborhood. Wherever you're headed, you eventually come upon a stone tablet engraved with your Arcana. Laid on the tablet are three objects:

◎ A dead moth trapped inside a wilted rose, symbolizing Koth of Festering Lands
◎ A teacup inside which sits a single nightshade berry, symbolizing Adlewyrd of Poisoned Tongues
◎ An ornate cracked hand mirror that contains no reflection, symbolizing Sannleikr of Many Faces

Make a choice. Something inside your soul will be drawn towards one of the objects. Maybe you spend hours in the dream deliberating, but sooner or later, you'll pick one of the items up. The moment you do, the other objects vanish and the chosen Herald appears before you. Where one might expect a god to seek subservience, the strange figure instead extends a friendly hand towards you - as though it's greeting you as an equal.

Whispered around you, you hear its name. Then it fades and with it the dream. You awaken.

Affliction

You go about your day as usual. That's when you realize something isn't right. Creatures and people around you behave strangely. You begin to sense that you are the cause.

Depending on your chosen Herald, you'll experience at least one of its afflictions. The effects might start small, then grow. They might rush you all at once. You can't shake what haunts you, though you can try. Spells, potions, and willpower can help keep the afflictions at bay but you won't ever be completely free.

As the afflictions seep into your mind, you start to find shadows of it following you: a dead moth here, a nightshade bloom there, a cracked mirror elsewhere. You may even wonder if it's following you in the first place. What if instead, you are the one leaving these signs behind?

Corruption

The first time you inflict your ability on someone else, you don't mean to. It might be a stranger, some unsuspecting soul, or it might be another Summoned. Regardless, the afflictions that ail you seem to spread through you into another. Someone falls down as if in the throes of an invisible death or secrets spill. You brush by someone and they're suddenly upset and confused.

The more this happens, intentionally or not, the better you feel. You may grow full of life and energy, gain a renewed strength of heart, or radiate a charm that turns heads and garners compliments. The afflictions haunting you could even start to fade or completely vanish. And if you use your newfound power deliberately? You'll feel better even faster for longer. Of course, these boons are temporary, lasting at most an hour or so. When the feeling wanes, you might miss having it.

You are not possessed. You can't control this power that spreads through you, but how you respond or behave is up to you. You could be attracted to the allure of power, enjoy the boons you are granted, or realize you can gain relief from your afflictions if you choose a victim. Not everyone will fall headfirst into the pull. Some are not easily swayed by power, some struggle to overcome their dark impulses, and others would rather endure their suffering than inflict it on someone else. But others still might succumb to temptation and turn on those around them with purpose: once, twice, multiple times. The choice you make is yours alone.

Blight

With the call of the Herald at your fingertips, the world around you twists. No one knows whether this stems from you and your newly imbued afflictions, or if the Heralds are exerting power on their own. It's for sure easier to think of what occurs as the influence of something monstrous beyond your control. No matter the cause, the earth is changed all the same.

Omens

The omens arrive shortly after the initial Summoned receive their dreams, but they don't come to every faction at once. SOLVUNN is first, being home to the Old Gods' shrines, before THORNE and the FREE CITIES follow only days afterwards. Depending on where you are, the omens will affect things a bit differently.

Solvunn

In Solvunn, the ground stirs. A desiccated hand breaks through the grass, a cloven hoof. Human or animal, they crawl forth, animated against their will. Some might attack, but most do not. At the same time, crops around the settlements begin to fail. Some chickens lay rotten eggs while cows produce spoiled milk. Any livestock that perishes overnight will surface in the mornings with empty eye sockets - pecked out by crows or gnawed on by rats. From a distance, the ocean can be seen bubbling as leviathans beneath thrash.

Worth noting is that many of the dead are concentrated around the shrines, especially the ones deep in the woods. They're too decayed to recognize, and some might not even move from the site, as though they are waiting for the earth to take them again...or as though they once chose to give up their life at this very spot.

Summoned can assist by helping to cast spells or place warding charms around shrines, farms, and gardens to protect crops and livestock. As a commune, the Solvunnites will share their resources as much as possible and would appreciate those who might lend a hand bringing supplies, herbs, and offerings to neighbors who are lacking. The Summoned can also brew a common herbal remedy to aid any animals who have fallen ill or to help purify the well water.

Free Cities

In Libertas, the dead buried under the rubble dig themselves out. More crawl forth from graves in Cadens' cemeteries. Beasts and bandits slain in the desert wilds rise, hungry or searching for the ones who killed them. At the same time, dead fish wash up onto the shores of Aquila while birds fall dead from their perch, dropping like flies from an unknown illness. Vultures and other scavengers begin to prey upon the eyes of the dead, leaving behind hollowed-out corpses.

Worth noting is that in the Badlands, a few very old and skeletal corpses rise with a metal plate or two screwed onto their bones, which are also oddly elongated. Only one or two make their way near the city. The army is quick to dispose of them before many can notice. They will not disclose any information about this and will claim these are just monsters like anything else.

Summoned can assist by going on patrol with the soldiers to put down any risen dead. Merchant caravans are also hiring escorts for their journeys. Additionally, they can help look through any received supplies and packages to make sure the food isn't rotting or worse, use a special dissolving compound to purify the waters, and donate staple food items to refugees and the less fortunate who can't afford the rising prices.

Thorne

In Thorne, the dead emerge only from the outskirts of the castle city. Thanks to information from one of their Summoned and their recent monitoring of the Singularity, Thorne was able to act swiftly and was able to ward any royal or otherwise significant burial sites. Graves and tombs of less importance, though, will not be protected in the same way. There are fewer encounters with eyeless corpses, though some animals might appear outside the castle in such a state. Normally extravagant dishes from the Castle's kitchens use simpler ingredients as they struggle to ration their food stores.

Worth noting is that a few unexpected corpses make their way up from deep under the castle in places beyond the dungeons. These are twisted and mangled, missing limbs, heads, fingers. The castle guards are quick to dispose of them before they get too far into the rest of the castle, but one or two may be spotted.

Summoned can assist by contributing to the wards around Castle Thorne and the city, using spells to put down the dead without mangling the corpse, and taking inventory of food stores. Further, in Nott the situation is more dire for anyone who is traveling there to continue assisting with repairs following the attack. Nott will welcome help with any problems caused by the omens. It'll be clear the kingdom has neglected the city somewhat. Thorne will claim the Castle takes priority, of course, due to King and Queen residing there along with the entire royal court.

Apprehensions

Across the factions, locals are beginning to catch on that something isn't right with you, the Summoned. No one will say it outright, but there's an air of caution and wariness around you where you go. Merchants might be quick to hand you your wares so you'll leave or locals give you a bit of space when they walk by. Chatty innkeepers are more reluctant to hold lengthy conversations.

Much of the time, it may not be conscious. The natives might simply sense something off that instinctually makes them want to put some distance between them and you. The only exception? If you've chosen Sannleikr of Many Faces, you'll continue to exude your charm towards people you encounter. At least for as long as you continue to inflict that ability you've been gifted.

Displacement

Everyone responds differently while in the Horizon. You might exert better willpower over your afflictions or you might feel its effects more strongly. It all depends on the individual and their mindset. Regardless, the Heralds are only one part of the equation. There's a much bigger disturbance going on.

It could happen as soon as you enter or it might be as you're stepping over the threshold into another's domain. Whatever the case, you are suddenly not where you're supposed to be. Instead, you're in one of two places depending: transported into a domain you never meant to go into or in a foreign setting altogether.

Visitation

Whether you're the one transported or someone teleports unexpectedly into your space, the Horizon becomes unpredictable for the next little while. Rooms normally locked to strangers, areas you yourself may not even realize exists - you and your fellow Summoned continue to pop in and out despite your intentions.

The effect isn't painful, just disorienting, like missing a step you didn't see or stumbling through a door into a too-bright room. The person whose domain you've inadvertently visited might sense an unwanted presence, whether they're inside the Horizon or not, or they may be completely oblivious. This will depend on the strength of their connection to the Singularity and the Horizon.

Not to worry. You won't be trapped or anything in these cases...unless the domain you land in happens to seal from the inside. You might stumble on secrets you weren't meant to find, though, locked away in someone else's mind.

Ensnared

The less fortunate will be pulled into a space that they've never encountered before. The bizarreness of it resembles the glitchy visions that flashed through a few months ago, but rather than an image flickering by, you are now inside the space itself.

Trapped between minutes to hours, you can't use the Horizon's creation magic as normal. Attempts will falter or go sideways: trying to fly out might cause you to tumble, tools and objects are broken or not quite right, wounds don't vanish or heal completely, etc. More significantly, you can't seem to send or receive messages through your connection. Anything that manages to come through will be garbled and distorted. It's as though the place you are in is just out of the reach of your control.

Luckily, you may not be alone. Someone else may have gotten lost alongside you. They might already be there when you stumble through or they might arrive after you do. They might even fade out sooner than you, unintentionally leaving you behind.

Eventually, you'll be released back into the Horizon proper, spat out in a random place in the Horizon. While you're stuck, though, you can try to survive, explore, sit and wait it out, or make friends with your fellow trapped partner. Each area has its challenges and quirks that you'll need to deal with.

Scenes to Explore

JUSTICE ◎
FULL IMAGE

High in the clouds, these snowy peaks are as cold as they look. Giant marble hands reach out, though their sheer scale means you might not recognize them as hands from up close. You can scale the mountain, but if you try to go down, the hands will flip the mountain, which sends you tumbling to the top again.

It's up to you whether you can be injured when you fall. Maybe the snow will feel like marshmallows, or you'll break a bone on the jagged rocks. No two experiences are the same. If you have a partner, they could end up faring better than you despite being in the same place.

Conjure some warm clothes or a log cabin even if you wish - they might not manifest perfectly, but it'll be better than nothing. At least the view's fairly nice...while the sun is up. A blizzard will come through by nightfall. With it arrives a strange hovering light that entices you or your friend to follow it into the frozen darkness. What draws you out depends on you. It could be a familiar voice, an image, or a simple compulsion. If you're lucky, the person with you is unaffected and can try to stop you. Or maybe you're the one desperately chasing after the other person?

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THE CHARIOT ◎
FULL IMAGE

From a distance, it's hard to tell if they're shipping containers or houses stacked atop each other. A gooey mess covers the ground below. Oddly, the smell isn't as unpleasant as the goo looks. It smells like bubblegum or cotton candy, artificial and sweet. When you first fall in, you might land inside one of the homes, on top of the stacked structure, or the ground. You can try to reach anyone else who's there with you, but be careful: the ooze is spreading. Climb if you must or move from room to room. If you don't keep moving, you risk getting sucked into its sticky mass.

Each block of a home is different. Some are furnished, whereas others are empty or filled with strange knickknacks. Some might even have subconscious creations spawned by you. Keep ahead of the gloopy substance, and you'll be fine, probably. Or you can try to fight it back or block its path by sealing yourself in a room or otherwise, which can slow it down significantly. Mostly, you'll have to hope you fade out before the pink mass completely consumes the landscape.

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THE WORLD ◎
FULL IMAGE

The hazy neon glow obscures a nothingness that seems to extend forever. In the middle of the wet ground are several stacked television sets with wires plugged into nothing. Inexplicably, there's also a cat. At first, it appears perfectly normal, but keen observers will notice that its behavior is on a loop where it will walk a certain path, pause at specific intervals to lick its paws, and meow at set points. It does not acknowledge any of its intruders. You can break its loop by picking it up, at which point it'll go limp as a ragdoll. As soon as you set it down, it'll resume its actions as before.

While you can see the same images as someone else on the screens, it's also possible you'll each see something different despite being in the room together. What you see is up to you. It could be an old fuzzy movie, home videos of your childhood, trivia questions you have to answer correctly, or even a memory or vision you wouldn't want to share. Words or faces taunting you could appear between staticky flickers, or maybe your very thoughts are projected onto the screens for anyone with you to read.

Break the televisions if you want, but given a few short minutes, they'll reform between one blink and the next. Looks like you'll have to keep watching until you're released.

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THE FOOL ◎
FULL IMAGE

Sprawling and massive, you're unlikely to recognize at first that you're trapped in a labyrinth. Stone walls rise around you, and your surroundings are pitchblack. Manifest a torch or a flashlight if you can, though these will be prone to going out at inopportune times. Escaping over the walls will only send you into another section in the maze.

As you navigate the twisting corridors, you'll encounter any variety of trials and troubles: gaps in the ground, spiked traps, haunting whispers, monsters, decaying corpses. Some of these might've formed from your mind, others might've spawned from anyone else who's trapped with you.

If you aren't alone, do your best to locate your fellow Summoned. Voices do carry and echo over the walls, and there could be landmarks that help you find each other. Finding the exit, however, is another matter. Walk and climb all you want. A way out is impossible until the Horizon chooses to set you free.

Players can pick any scenario that interests them from the four choices above. Unlike the visions from before, characters can accidentally be trapped in as many of the scenes as you want, as many times as you want. Another option is that they can stay trapped in only one scene while a variety of characters fade in and out to join them, or some combination of the two. Choose what works best for your plans.

Each scene will once again carry an associated Arcana etched somewhere inside it, which can change from person to person or instance to instance. It might be on a wall, a table, or on the ground. Characters with a stronger connection to the Horizon are likely to be trapped for longer but the extent of this is your choice and it won't ever exceed a few hours. It's also your choice whether the afflictions continue to haunt them or not. If you want characters to deal with both problems while stuck together, you're welcome to!

Generally speaking, there are no restrictions other than that they won't be able to communicate with anyone outside the area, they can't escape it until the Horizon chooses to release them, and their creation magic will go wrong just enough that it'll make things tricky.

Comments

Free Cities - OTA - tw for gambling addiction

[itookashot]

Jesper has been here long enough that he's suspicious when he gets weird visions in his dreams. He remembers the nightmare and memory shares all too well, so when the creepy figure shows up, after he looks into a teacup, all he can think is fuck, here we go again. The thing is when he wakes up, it isn't immediately obvious whether it's real or not. He doesn't get hit with anything obvious. It takes him a day or so before things begin to happen.

Jesper walks by gambling halls every single day and he has learned how to move past them. He always goes quickly. It doesn't have to be just full gambling areas, anywhere that people are playing games, their eager faces waiting for a win, it calls to him. He catches his breath because no matter how long it's been, he's still who he is. It isn't easy, but it is something he's been controlling.

He is walking down the street when the whispers come. Since super hearing has become an occasional problem, he wonders if it's that, bracing, but instead the whispers are clear as day. Look, they say, and he does, twisting his head around to see a gambling table. You're better now, aren't you? It's been so long. You can prove it to yourself, prove it to everyone. You can play without going too far. Don't you want to know? Jesper hasn't felt this compulsion in months and it makes it hard for him to swallow.

The problem is that he never really has impulse control. With those words, it cuts through his logic, because he does want to prove it. He does want to know. It's an easy way of convincing him. Jesper looks almost like a moth to a flame, unable to stop himself, and having no interest in doing so. He sits down at a table, gray eyes glowing with pleasure he'd been keeping away so long, his smile brittle. "Let's do this."

Maybe you catch him before he goes in, but he has this hungry look, like nothing can stop him. Maybe you catch him at the end of the first night, when everyone else has gone home and the business is closed, and yet Jesper hovers outside of it, still starving. All his money is gone, promises made for more tomorrow, but he wants to bang on the door, demand more. He doesn't make it home that first night. He sleeps right there, back against the nearby wall, his jacket put around him like a blanket. He sleeps on the street a few times, afraid of going home.

Over the next few days he can always be found there. He wins and he wins and he wins and then he loses just as much. Every time he is on a roll, Jesper reaches out to touch the other people playing, telling them to stay. One more hand. Tempting. If you come to see him, he will do the same to you. Just one time. It'll be fun.

Jesper usually is difficult to catch when he decides to steal, and he has been avoiding doing that since coming to Cadens. He has to live here, he has to do the right thing. But as his desperation grows and his eyes get a little wild, his attention is brittle. He still can telekinetically take things when the person isn't looking, but anyone could bump into him and find he has items he shouldn't stashed in his pockets and his hands.

[philancer]

[ He doesn't know how many days Jesper has been out here on the streets, but as Sylvain wanders back towards the inn at the end of the day and spots the man outside of one of the city's gambling halls, he knows it has to have been at least more than one. He recalls all too well the conversation they'd had in Nocwich, knows what Jesper has probably been struggling with. And the sight of him there, caught up in a craving all over again, is enough to have Sylvain changing course, heading straight for the other man.

He doesn't slow as he reaches him, instead grabbing him by the arm and dragging him all of a building away, pushing him up against the wall as he gets in his face. Sylvain is almost the same height as the other man - something he rarely encounters - but he's considerably more built, not that he often uses that to his advantage. His typical demeanor isn't about intimidation, but all about the charm. At the moment, however, he puts himself directly in Jesper's line of sight and does his best to give him something else to focus on, rather than the urge to give in to an entirely different temptation. ]

What's going on, Jesper?

[itookashot]

[ Jesper can't go home. If he goes home he has to admit what happened and that all his hard work has been for nothing. He also can't make himself leave, he just goes from one place to the next, he's probably going to be kicked out soon. At this point he is still only spending his own money, which he's been hoarding, but he knows where this is all headed eventually. And he still can't stop. It feels hopeless. And incredible, he feels so powerful and bright too. He's jittery, twitchy.

He is about to head in when a surprisingly strong grip takes him and starts dragging him away. Jesper is genuinely shocked so he doesn't fight back at first, seeing that bright red hair and knowing who it is. They've talked about this. His guilt is immediate but not drowning, letting himself be manhandled. He feels both full of manic energy and absolutely worn out from fighting inwardly. The push up against the wall knocks the wind out of him.

Gray eyes do try to look straight for the open door, he can hear people in there laughing, and he wants to surge toward it, but Sylvain's in his face. Taking up his sightline. He breathes and looks at him, a little dazed. Not from the manhandling, from everything going on. The whispers, the vision. ]

Nothing, I'm fine. You're the one pulling a bloke around for no good reason.

[ Yes he's going to pretend at first. ]

[philancer]

[ You're a really shitty liar, Jesper. Or maybe he's just really good at telling when he's being lied to. He does have an exceptional amount of experience at it.

Jesper's gaze is glassy and he can tell he's having trouble focusing. So he grasps the other man's jaw, making it impossible for him to turn his head back towards the gambling hall behind him. Which is probably a good thing because he can hear the sounds of laughter and coins clinking from here as the door swings open with someone else going in or out. ]

Hmm, Sorry, but this doesn't look exactly 'fine'. You weren't about to head inside, were you, Jesper?

[itookashot]

[ Jesper is an excellent liar, he's just not good at it right now. He's too sick at the moment. Not sick in the way physically most people get, but sick in the way you can't stop doing something you know is bad for you. Inej once told him there are a lot of ways of being sick, when he argued that not using his Grisha powers didn't make him sickly and thin. It hit him in a different way, but it was the same problem. Now he's used his powers but it didn't fix him. It's painful to know that.

Or it will be, when he stops being so deliriously caught in the grasp of something bitter than him.

Jesper hears the coins like they were next to his head. He shivers both from that and the desire that comes from it (just one hand, just one hand), but also from the heavy handling by Sylvain. He focuses on the man, on the soft lines of his face, his brown eyes, the tousled red hair. ]

I need it. [ He whispers, he can feel it under his skin. ] Please, Sylvain.

[philancer]

[ Shit. This is worst than he feared. He's really wishing he knew of one of those spa places here in Cadens now.

But he keeps his focus fixed on Jesper's face, keeping himself between the man and the source of the itch under his skin. The insatiable craving he can practically see in Jesper's expression. His grip on the man's arms tightens slightly when he feels that shiver, hears another burst of music and laughter behind them. He's got to get Jesper out of here. ]

You don't need it. You've just forgotten that. I've seen you walk past this place before, you can do it again. We're leaving, Jesper. Staying here is not what you need right now.

[itookashot]

[ There is no spa place for them to go to. The man did distract him successfully that one time, beautiful people are always an excellent way to do that. Jesper remembers looking at him in the hot springs, it's caught in his mind right then, one desire and temptation swapped for another. He flexes his arms underneath Sylvain's grip, smiling slowly. ]

And what do you need right now?

[ Adlewyrd's affliction goes both ways through touch and Jesper gazes down at him with warm and suggestive gray eyes. There's fever in there too, not a real kind but a mental kind, but he's always someone who burns with energy and charm. He changes tactics, leaning into Sylvain's grip instead of trying to get out of it. ]

Where do you plan on taking me?

[philancer]

[ Good question. But it's probably a good thing, in this situation, that Claude's been sleeping even less than normal this week. The room's been all but empty every time Sylvain's gone to use it. Which, if he's honest, hasn't been a lot himself. Anytime he's closed his eyes, he's been haunted by nightmares and memories and the endless whispers preying at the edge of his consciousness, so he's given up even trying until he's too exhausted to resist anymore.

Jesper's not the only one in dire need of distraction.

But he knows that look on Jesper's face all too well, but seeing it there, aimed at him, has him freezing for a moment. Almost balking when the whispers latch onto the guilt, the self-loathing, but he pushes it away. He can worry about his own issues later, he needs to focus on getting Jesper away from here first. And if that means distracting him with another sort of distraction...

Well. At least he's real damn talented at that.

Which is why he leans in against the slim body he's got pinned to the wall, a knee angled between Jesper's legs as one corner of his lips quirk upwards in challenge. ]

Oh, I can think of a couple places. [ No one's ever accused him of passing up a chance at terrible innuendo. ] But for the moment, anywhere that's not here.

[ He steps back, fingers curling in the front of Jesper's jacket as he drags him along with him, keeping him faced away from the gambling hall as he backs away. ] We can go to my place for the time being.

[itookashot]

[ Jesper is easily distracted by the right things. Gambling, adrenaline, violence, sex, whatever gets his blood boiling and feeling alive. There is nothing he craves more than that high from being alive and thrilled, which is why he chases the things that gives it to him. He sighs when Sylvain leans into him and he smiles, relief fluttering through him. On some level he understands that being dragged away from this place will spare him a mistake today, even if it'll come back for him later.

He lets Sylvain continue to pull him around, dragged by the coat but he is now fully involved in it, walking toward him as he walks back. The farther from the gambling hall they get, the better he'll feel, although that desperation will come back too. Jesper eventually manages to shake it off and walks with Sylvain, gripping his arm as a point of contact.

He gets nervous when he sees the inn though; Inej and Kaz are somewhere in there. He is filled with an instant panic at the idea and freezes, his eyes widening, looking pale. Guilt and remorse are even worse than the obsession when it comes to this. ]

If they see me they'll know.

[ With how he looks. There is no question who 'they' are, the Crows are a package deal. ]

[philancer]

[ Sylvain doesn't actually know who "they" are, as Jesper is the only Crow he's met so far, but he can guess. He thinks he's seen them a time or two about the inn or the tavern below. It's pretty impossible to miss the near-panicked look on Jesper's face, however, which is enough to have Sylvain pausing in his intent traipse towards the inn.

He doesn't relinquish his grip on Jesper, however - just in case. Although he does pause to give the man's alarm due consideration before altering their course. ]

We'll go up the back stairs. It's the quickest route to my room anyway. They shouldn't be on my floor at all. They won't see you.

[ Although he's wondering if he should be worried about this. Whether it's fear putting that look on Jesper's face or guilt over having caved to whatever this is that's been wreaking havoc on all of them this week. ]

Hey. [ A hand to Jesper's jaw as he brings his face back to Sylvain, so he takes up the man's line of sight once more. His own expression intent as he drags Jesper firmly into the present and hopefully away from whatever his brain is currently doing to him. ] I've got you, Jesper.

[ He really hopes that comes across as more reassuring than creepy. ]

[itookashot]

[ Jesper is definitely on the verge of bolting because facing Inej and Kaz is more terrifying than losing himself to gambling. They'll be understanding, or Inej will be, and that's somehow worse. He thinks her gentle empathy would only make him sick at this point.

He is considering how easy it would be to run when Sylvain manages to keep his attention again, gray eyes turning to him, and those are exactly the words that he needs to hear. Jesper swallows and nods, lifting his hand to take Sylvain's hand and then holds it. He holds it tightly the whole time they go up the stairs and find their way to the room, which is luckily not near the Crows' spot.

Jesper only feels comfortable to breathe when he knows he's inside somewhere they can't find, and he's out of line of gambling sight. But now he's burning on the inside, jittery and hungry for something to fill the hole.]

Sorry, my friends ... they've already dealt with this for years. I don't want them to know.

[ So that will explain why Jesper's trying to hide it from them. He's already let them down for so long and he's made a big deal out of finally being good. And now here he is. Strung out and needy for that rush of anything good enough to distract him. It's very irrational since Inej and Kaz will know when he goes missing for days and go looking for him, him being caught is inevitable, he just doesn't want to face that right now. ]

Sylvain. I'm sorry.

[philancer]

[ Sylvain leads him by the hand, his grip firm as he guides him up the back staircase, empty now at this time of day. his room is as empty as he anticipated finding it and he's quick to tuck Jesper away inside, closing the door behind them.

And then pressing Jesper back to pin against the door once more for good measure. He hasn't missed the fact that contact has helped him get his own points across this week, although this is the first time he's actively doing anything of the sort on purpose.

Keeping Jesper pinned there by his own weight, he lets his own amber gaze search the other man's face, gauging just where Jesper's head is right now. Still nowhere good, he suspects, and those apologies only enforce that.

Still, he gives a quiet, rueful chuckle as he scrapes fingers through his hair and then resolutely shakes his head, his expression all wry awareness. ]

You don't have to apologize to me for anything Jesper. Shit's weird everywhere this week, you're not the only one floundering here. And even then... well, let's just say I understand all too well. I happen to have way too much experience with self-sabotage. You're not going to get judgment from me. What do you need, Jesper? [ He repeats his earlier question back to him, still searching his face. ]

[itookashot]

[ Jesper doesn't expect to be pinned again and this time it takes the wind out of him in a different way, a better way. It does help, to feel stabilized, to know that he isn't going to collapse. Sometimes he feels like he can take on the world in these moods, full of power and adrenaline, and then he crashes just as hard. Sylvain's strength is appreciated and he sighs, leaning into him.

His hands run up Sylvain's chest and then curl up around his shoulders, not typically used to someone being able to toss him around this easily. He's seen what is under these clothes, the hot springs obviously left nothing to the imagination. It's also nice to feel like he can lean into someone else for once, typically the one other people lean on. ]

You know what I need.

[ His touch causes people to give into desires or secret truths, but Jesper doesn't think he needs to use it to get anywhere with Sylvain. Although it is there when his long fingers run into his red curls, the vibe, the temptation. He is chasing one high for another or maybe he's chasing anything to soothe this anxiety. Gray eyes seem equally challenging and pleading as they meet amber. It's not as if they've been subtle.]

If we're both floundering, we both need a distraction.

[philancer]

Well. You're in luck.

[ There's a faint rasp to his voice, a husky depth as one corner of his lips quirk upwards. He holds Jesper's gaze as he speaks, his hand sliding up to curl around the nape of the man's neck, touch warm and sure as he draws him closer, never breaking away from Jesper's gaze. ]

I happen to be an expert at distractions, too.

[ At this point he's not even sure who's tempting who, or if either of them even need such a thing. He doesn't bother to question it. Just drags Jesper in close as his lips crash against the other man's in a deep, hungry kiss. ]

[philancer]

nsfw. continued over here.

[bealufull]

In truth, Kaz has no desire to leave the boarding house. He's never been one to hole up in his room, moreso when it's important that he not show fear, but there's nothing in Kaz in those days that can handle straying far from the sanctuary of scented oil and quiet and peace. Even as the hunger begins to gnaw at him and his bitterness feels like something tangible clinging to him like a shroud.

Normally he would not hide from these things but now, he can't stand the way the entire city smells after if a plague has descended on them already. He sees shadows on people, hints of pox marks that he's seen before. The kind that haunt his dreams.

It's the time he would gather his forces and, as it were, rally the troops. Except one of his own is missing.

Dabbing a cloth with the oil he'd purchased before, one he doesn't think about reminding him of Jesper with it's oil and leather and Inej with it's reverent incenses, he presses it to his nose and heads out.

It's hours before he finally pauses in his search. His leg aches like it has pins driving into his skin. Dark circles haunt his eyes and he's certain he's worn away part of his teeth from the angry grind of them as he hunts for Jesper. Standing there, leaning heavily on his cane, and realizing there's one place he hasn't searched. One place that, had this been the Barrel, he would have gone to instantly but even in his short time in this place, he's come to separate that from Jesper.

Maybe he's been wrong all along.

It's the second establishment that he spies a familiar brilliant green jacket through the dimness around him. Pale eyes narrow as he stalks through the room, a deepness to his limp that he can't hide in the pain he's bearing.

There's no thought as he hefts the cane, the gilded crow's head seemingly glowing in the low light as he brings it down with a crack against the table just before Jesper. Not a word. Nothing but a dark glower and the silence that comes in the wake of that hard slam of metal on wood.

[itookashot]

The whispers stopped the moment he sat down at the table and at that point, it was over. The problem with relapsing is it can go from zero to a hundred in one good hand. If he lost right away, he might have shaken out of it, but that rush of winning he hasn't felt in so long, and then he was hooked. He hasn't gone home because he doesn't want to face it, he doesn't want to admit it. All that work, all of his effort, gone. He can't find solace in the Horizon because it doesn't help, fake gambling, and losing himself in other domains.

So he gorges and he hides and so far he's only spent his own money, money that he's been saving for them, but they both know his scruples only last as long as his own coin does, before he goes for someone else. For now, he is riding a high, he's in his winning mode again, flying, not even cheating although he can now, but he doesn't want to cheat, he wants to win. He doesn't think about Inej and Kaz because it'll only make him drown in self-hate. Just the cards. The smell of the table. The feel of coins under his fingers.

He is laughing with the others, seeming like he is burning with his usual type of charisma and glee, that brittle way he gets in these times. On edge. Jesper is about to suggest another when he is completely startled out of his delusions with the familiar crack of a cane in front of him. He jumps, as does everyone else there, and it's as if all the joy and bliss drains out of him in an instant.

Fear shows in his gray eyes, along with a lingering familiar fevered sickness, and he shrinks down in his seat. It's as if the others there understand without needing to be told that this is a battle between wills, or rather one will slamming down the other, and they don't interrrupt. He swallows and any snark or attempt at making this seem unimportant drains out of him.

"Guess my seat is opening up," Jesper says weakly, the opposite of the swaggering confident youth he was only moments before. He slides out of the chair and bites his lip, not looking at Kaz, not even needing him to say a word. Without that bright facade, little details are obvious. The circles under his eyes from not sleeping and being strung out. He forgot to eat. He slept outside, there's dirt on his coat, it's not the first time Kaz has seen all of these details and known what it means.

Despite seeming subdued now, he can't help a desperate look over his shoulder, laughter from within making him want to turn on his heel. He sways and hears one new dark whisper in his ear. You don't need him. You were fine without him. You don't need anyone.

"Kaz, I---"

[bealufull]

He draws the cane back to him with a slow dragging over the table and the money that lays there. He doesn't care whose it is as some flutters to the floor. The tip of the cane hits with the floor with a hard thunk.

Kaz's pale eyes stare a hole into Jesper, not saying a word as he takes in the way he looks, the obvious state he's in. Familiar and disappointing at the same time. He had been so proud of him when he'd arrived, learning he had fought and clawed his way out of this, and now here they were again.

He turns on heel, hating the pain that lances through his leg and up through his hip and back, heading for the door when he hears his name. Spinning so fast that the pain turns his stomach he closes the distance between them until the tips of his shoes are overlapping the very edge of Jesper's shoes.

"Don't. You. Dare." Each word is bitten off, a low and dark sound, even more of a growl than his voice usually is. "We're going back to the boarding house where Inej is waiting for us." But his words make it clear. Not us. You.

[itookashot]

Jesper's intentionally avoided Mag's Inn because he doesn't want to face Inej, but also he doesn't want to face any of it. He would rather keep hiding out here. It would be very easy to just run away, it's not as if Kaz can run after him, but he is so tired. He also feels like he's burning, not tired, so much energy running through him at the same time. It's very unsettling and then the whispers are in his head too.

When Kaz comes that close to him, he might be able to notice the shift. Jesper's gaze is wide and startled, but then they smooth out and there's a glimmer in them Kaz has never seen directed at him before. He might know it though, from Jesper's many affairs, the way he smiles as sweet as honey, challenge burning in his gaze. One terrible temptation to the next and it's changed because he knows now. He knows that Kaz wants him, despite the fact they can't touch yet. And there's a predatory glint to it.

He reaches out not to touch any skin but instead to place his hands on Kaz's shirt. Still only fabric, caressing up to his chest and curling in the fabric. There's influence in his voice when he speaks next, curling around them both. Touch can make it stronger, the dark whisperings on his voice now, the god's affliction underneath. "Don't be mad," he murmurs intimately, looking down at Kaz with open desire. Kaz is the one who closed the distance between them but he is using that.

"Let me make it up to you." This is not something Jesper would ordinarily do. He is really caught into dark emotions and temptations, the fact that he is a seductive and addictive person is simply amplified. But he usually knows better, especially with Kaz. He would not risk what was building between them, but all he can think about now is chasing another need, another desire. He is more susceptible to influence than more controlled people will be, a side effect of being so reckless and open. "You know you want to, Kaz. I don't need to touch your skin." His hands slide suggestively downward.

[bealufull]

The shift is noticeable, clear, and yet it is not gaining an inch from the man staring at Jesper with ice hollow and cold and unyielding. Another time and place and had Jesper tried this Kaz might well have found himself tongue tied. Tongue tied and maybe even curious.

All of that is burned out of him though. Covered in the stench of rot and as spoilt as fruit left out in the sun.

He moves very slowly, very deliberately, closing his fingers around Jesper's wrist in a tight grip. Not jerking his hand away, just pressing his thumb into the tendon between the bones.

"Whatever has gotten to you? None of is will benefit you with a broken wrist, Jesper, so do not try that again."

Yet he doesn't break his wrist as he would have with someone else without a word. Just a sharp rap of the crow's head and been done with it. He can't help the anger within him though. Both at the feeble attempt that only made his cheeks flare red and hurt in ways he is not used to coping with and from the rot that eats away at his soul.

"What I want is for you to accompanying me back to the boarding house. Do not make me have to find a way to lug your unconscious body there. Do not make me hunt you down. You know what I'm capable of, Jesper. Do not make me unleash it on you."

Because he wants to unleash it all on someone. He wants to show this place just what Dirtyhands is capable of. Not with Jesper though. Not if he can avoid it.

[itookashot]

Jesper's pivot into seduction was quick but fully leaned into and he wondered if he could make Kaz pass out right here. Or if he could push him up against a wall and make his knees weak without any passing out required. It is a much better thought than the terror that goes through him when Kaz refuses his seduction and makes it clear he is not going to get out of this. If it was anyone else he might pout and keep trying to win him over, but he knows the jig is up.

He wavers for a moment, leaning into Kaz, suddenly exhausted. He looks genuinely sickly all of a sudden, like how Grisha actually looked when they weren't using their powers. Like the color was fully stripped out of him all at once. He seems thin and frail, as opposed to his usual flush of health, because he has been running on full throttle since this hit him. And because his temptation of Kaz didn't work, so he didn't get that rush of power his affliction gives him.

"I can't," Jesper says, so tired and with emotion in his voice. "I can't stop and I'll say things to you, I'll say horrible things. I'll make you say horrible things." He's already learned this. He also knows that when he does that, he feels better, and he's ashamed of how much he wants to use it on purpose for that same good sensation. This is the worst possible situation for someone like him. He doesn't want to do it with them in close quarters.

"Just leave me here, Kaz, please." There are tears in his eyes as he releases Kaz's clothing but looks like he might keel over. "At least I'm only hurting myself here." Not Kaz, not Inej. Not the people he cares about. Only him, who deserves it.

[bealufull]

Watching that change come over Jesper is both satisfying and painful. He's called his bluff and that, in and of itself, is a win in Kaz's book. He feels vindicated then, and there's a smugness in the lines of his face.

And yet it utterly and wholly hurts as well.

It hurts the boy that cares about Jesper more than he cares for himself, who wants to keep him safe and protected and knows that here, even more than in the Barrel, it can't be done.

The world around him is full of rot and anger and pain, and he wants to shake Jesper like a ragdoll. Just to be certain this isn't another of his games. Those words though, they ring true and it makes him hurt again... even if he's sure his answer could prove if he's wrong and it is all another painful game.

"You can't hurt me with words, Jesper," he lies, as smoothly as any lie he's ever told. Not giving Jesper the satisfaction, not putting that on him as well. Hedging his bets on what is really going on here and uncertain how to play it. He just knows one thing.

"That's not going to happen," he says, drawing a sharp breath and huffing it out. He moves to step in closer to Jesper, bracing himself on his cane. "Arm around my shoulders, Jesper. We're going back to the boarding house. You're ours and if I have to tie you down and gag you, then I will."

He pauses and then adds. "If you make some kind of overt comment about that, I will gag you now and you won't enjoy it, I'll be certain of that."

[itookashot]

Jesper sucks in a breath that might have been a laugh at another time or a gasp, closing his eyes. "I can, we both know that I can." Kaz has revealed too much of himself, he's let himself be vulnerable to them, and they both know how hard that is for him. But it also means that Jesper knows where to press more than ever before, that he can dig his nails in and draw blood.

He'll try not to, he'll fight harder against that than he did against gambling, he gave into that so easily. He gave into lust too with other people, chasing that high and it still never lasted. Jesper has been this pathetic before, but only at his absolute worst, and it usually took weeks before he got there, rather than days. He wants to fight Kaz and drag himself off, but instead he gives in, because he wants that more. He wants to curl into the protection of his boss and best friend, the man he loves, even if that love is curdled into disgust too from Kaz.

This time it actually is a laugh, brittle and bitter, when he puts his arm around Kaz's shoulders and gives in to his demand. "I'll save it for another day." Jesper is just sick enough that even he can't make that joke, although he might do it later, when he's trying to make laughter out of something so vile. Also because it is entirely possible they do have to tie him up. Otherwise he'll steal everything in the inn and run off again.

Jesper hates having to lean on him but he really is unwell, and that is never more clear than now, considering how weak he is. He's just still in the thrall of this affliction. "I'm sorry." He whispers. "I really wanted to be better." He had been but he always knew he was just one bad day away from this. He was taunted and tempted daily and he was glad that he was strong enough, but a voice in his head told him he wouldn't always be. One day he would fail.

He'll let Kaz drag him back now.

[bealufull]

"Only if I let you."

Because they both know Kaz can pretend. He can fake being cold and hard, even as his seventeen year old heart is break. All it would take is a touch for Jesper to break him right then and there, and he knows it, but he won't admit it. He normally wouldn't. He definitely won't right now.

Kaz doesn't say another word though. Not at first. Not even as that apology comes. He just keeps walking, focusing on his steps despite the weight on his shoulders making it even harder than it might normally be.

"You will be, Jesper, and you have been. You will be again."

He has no idea what the hell is going on but its not right.

"You may always fall back to gambling but you would never have done what you just tried. What's wrong with you?"

There's a bitterness there, a twisted form of the anger a moment ago. He isn't the sort of man anyone would try and seduce to get their way. Jesper especially would know that, even with the feelings they've admitted for one another. He wouldn't have tried such an easily lost risk if something wasn't wrong.

[itookashot]

Jesper doesn't point out that it's not how it works. They both know that. Kaz is more sensitive than he likes people to know, but Jesper does know. He's opened up his heart and allowed it to be vulnerable enough to stab at. Jesper knows all he has to do is kiss Kaz, like Inej did, and run away, but despite being unwell, he can't go that far. Not yet. Give him another few days and he might, feeding off his desires and the whispers.

The question fills him with shame, enough shame that he could choke on it, and he swallows, looking down.

"I'm not stronger than what's going on. I fought it the last time, but I couldn't ...."

Jesper struggled during the nightmares, he almost gave in. He was held back by Matt and shaken out of his near-miss with the gambling den. At the time he couldn't stop being afraid of the visions and wanted a distraction, but this wasn't the same. Being scared is something he can fight, being drained like this is a whole other situation. It is intentionally pushing on his buttons and he can feel it. His mind is muddled so it takes him a few seconds but then he pauses in their walk, lifting his head to look at Kaz.

"You don't know? About what's happening to us? You haven't felt it?"

Jesper sways on his feet but holds onto Kaz and then he steps away. Not to run, though, he knows better, but so he can look at him. Is he not influenced? Trust Kaz not to get hit with what everyone else does. He's too strong for that, not like Jesper, who is tragically weak beyond words.

"We told you about uhhh the memory sharing and then the nightmares." When he first showed up, but it's easy to hear that happened, and not know when the same thing was actively being experienced. "This is new, but it's worse. I don't know what it is but I'm ... I can't control it. I'm hearing voices, and I want, Kaz."

He sounds mentally unstable and he feels that way, like he's going to fall off the deep end at any moment. But it's an explanation at least, a truth that nevertheless is tearing him apart. Jesper hates it more because he knows that something is happening to him, but he still can't control it or stop it. He should be able to fight but he's given in instead, he's sunk into it. He looks strung out, tears in his eyes as he holds onto Kaz.

"I want so much. The cards, the rush, you, Saints I want you, you can't understand, it's in me."