EVENT #10: AFFLICTION - IC POST

[abraxasmods]

Event #10 - Affliction

go to the OOC event info & plotting post

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With tensions heavy across Abraxas and all the destruction that's happened, it's no surprise that the dark shadows which sweep over the land go unnoticed...at first.

Winds initially stir in Solvunn, where the influence of the Old Gods remains the strongest. Slowly each Herald infects Thorne and the Free Cities, as well. The Summoned are the first to feel its effects and are the most heavily impacted.

Though no one will realize it until well afterwards, Nocwich remains unaffected. After all, the Summoned don't reside there.

NOTE: This event will deal with themes of death (people and animal) and horror imagery.

Emergence

It begins sometime in mid-October, around the 18th. Not everyone will experience it at the same time. You might even believe you're spared until days afterwards when you're visited by an unusually vivid dream.

The dream starts the same for everyone: you are going somewhere, anywhere, walking to your bedroom or enjoying a stroll on the beach. You might be driving down a familiar neighborhood. Wherever you're headed, you eventually come upon a stone tablet engraved with your Arcana. Laid on the tablet are three objects:

◎ A dead moth trapped inside a wilted rose, symbolizing Koth of Festering Lands
◎ A teacup inside which sits a single nightshade berry, symbolizing Adlewyrd of Poisoned Tongues
◎ An ornate cracked hand mirror that contains no reflection, symbolizing Sannleikr of Many Faces

Make a choice. Something inside your soul will be drawn towards one of the objects. Maybe you spend hours in the dream deliberating, but sooner or later, you'll pick one of the items up. The moment you do, the other objects vanish and the chosen Herald appears before you. Where one might expect a god to seek subservience, the strange figure instead extends a friendly hand towards you - as though it's greeting you as an equal.

Whispered around you, you hear its name. Then it fades and with it the dream. You awaken.

Affliction

You go about your day as usual. That's when you realize something isn't right. Creatures and people around you behave strangely. You begin to sense that you are the cause.

Depending on your chosen Herald, you'll experience at least one of its afflictions. The effects might start small, then grow. They might rush you all at once. You can't shake what haunts you, though you can try. Spells, potions, and willpower can help keep the afflictions at bay but you won't ever be completely free.

As the afflictions seep into your mind, you start to find shadows of it following you: a dead moth here, a nightshade bloom there, a cracked mirror elsewhere. You may even wonder if it's following you in the first place. What if instead, you are the one leaving these signs behind?

Corruption

The first time you inflict your ability on someone else, you don't mean to. It might be a stranger, some unsuspecting soul, or it might be another Summoned. Regardless, the afflictions that ail you seem to spread through you into another. Someone falls down as if in the throes of an invisible death or secrets spill. You brush by someone and they're suddenly upset and confused.

The more this happens, intentionally or not, the better you feel. You may grow full of life and energy, gain a renewed strength of heart, or radiate a charm that turns heads and garners compliments. The afflictions haunting you could even start to fade or completely vanish. And if you use your newfound power deliberately? You'll feel better even faster for longer. Of course, these boons are temporary, lasting at most an hour or so. When the feeling wanes, you might miss having it.

You are not possessed. You can't control this power that spreads through you, but how you respond or behave is up to you. You could be attracted to the allure of power, enjoy the boons you are granted, or realize you can gain relief from your afflictions if you choose a victim. Not everyone will fall headfirst into the pull. Some are not easily swayed by power, some struggle to overcome their dark impulses, and others would rather endure their suffering than inflict it on someone else. But others still might succumb to temptation and turn on those around them with purpose: once, twice, multiple times. The choice you make is yours alone.

Blight

With the call of the Herald at your fingertips, the world around you twists. No one knows whether this stems from you and your newly imbued afflictions, or if the Heralds are exerting power on their own. It's for sure easier to think of what occurs as the influence of something monstrous beyond your control. No matter the cause, the earth is changed all the same.

Omens

The omens arrive shortly after the initial Summoned receive their dreams, but they don't come to every faction at once. SOLVUNN is first, being home to the Old Gods' shrines, before THORNE and the FREE CITIES follow only days afterwards. Depending on where you are, the omens will affect things a bit differently.

Solvunn

In Solvunn, the ground stirs. A desiccated hand breaks through the grass, a cloven hoof. Human or animal, they crawl forth, animated against their will. Some might attack, but most do not. At the same time, crops around the settlements begin to fail. Some chickens lay rotten eggs while cows produce spoiled milk. Any livestock that perishes overnight will surface in the mornings with empty eye sockets - pecked out by crows or gnawed on by rats. From a distance, the ocean can be seen bubbling as leviathans beneath thrash.

Worth noting is that many of the dead are concentrated around the shrines, especially the ones deep in the woods. They're too decayed to recognize, and some might not even move from the site, as though they are waiting for the earth to take them again...or as though they once chose to give up their life at this very spot.

Summoned can assist by helping to cast spells or place warding charms around shrines, farms, and gardens to protect crops and livestock. As a commune, the Solvunnites will share their resources as much as possible and would appreciate those who might lend a hand bringing supplies, herbs, and offerings to neighbors who are lacking. The Summoned can also brew a common herbal remedy to aid any animals who have fallen ill or to help purify the well water.

Free Cities

In Libertas, the dead buried under the rubble dig themselves out. More crawl forth from graves in Cadens' cemeteries. Beasts and bandits slain in the desert wilds rise, hungry or searching for the ones who killed them. At the same time, dead fish wash up onto the shores of Aquila while birds fall dead from their perch, dropping like flies from an unknown illness. Vultures and other scavengers begin to prey upon the eyes of the dead, leaving behind hollowed-out corpses.

Worth noting is that in the Badlands, a few very old and skeletal corpses rise with a metal plate or two screwed onto their bones, which are also oddly elongated. Only one or two make their way near the city. The army is quick to dispose of them before many can notice. They will not disclose any information about this and will claim these are just monsters like anything else.

Summoned can assist by going on patrol with the soldiers to put down any risen dead. Merchant caravans are also hiring escorts for their journeys. Additionally, they can help look through any received supplies and packages to make sure the food isn't rotting or worse, use a special dissolving compound to purify the waters, and donate staple food items to refugees and the less fortunate who can't afford the rising prices.

Thorne

In Thorne, the dead emerge only from the outskirts of the castle city. Thanks to information from one of their Summoned and their recent monitoring of the Singularity, Thorne was able to act swiftly and was able to ward any royal or otherwise significant burial sites. Graves and tombs of less importance, though, will not be protected in the same way. There are fewer encounters with eyeless corpses, though some animals might appear outside the castle in such a state. Normally extravagant dishes from the Castle's kitchens use simpler ingredients as they struggle to ration their food stores.

Worth noting is that a few unexpected corpses make their way up from deep under the castle in places beyond the dungeons. These are twisted and mangled, missing limbs, heads, fingers. The castle guards are quick to dispose of them before they get too far into the rest of the castle, but one or two may be spotted.

Summoned can assist by contributing to the wards around Castle Thorne and the city, using spells to put down the dead without mangling the corpse, and taking inventory of food stores. Further, in Nott the situation is more dire for anyone who is traveling there to continue assisting with repairs following the attack. Nott will welcome help with any problems caused by the omens. It'll be clear the kingdom has neglected the city somewhat. Thorne will claim the Castle takes priority, of course, due to King and Queen residing there along with the entire royal court.

Apprehensions

Across the factions, locals are beginning to catch on that something isn't right with you, the Summoned. No one will say it outright, but there's an air of caution and wariness around you where you go. Merchants might be quick to hand you your wares so you'll leave or locals give you a bit of space when they walk by. Chatty innkeepers are more reluctant to hold lengthy conversations.

Much of the time, it may not be conscious. The natives might simply sense something off that instinctually makes them want to put some distance between them and you. The only exception? If you've chosen Sannleikr of Many Faces, you'll continue to exude your charm towards people you encounter. At least for as long as you continue to inflict that ability you've been gifted.

Displacement

Everyone responds differently while in the Horizon. You might exert better willpower over your afflictions or you might feel its effects more strongly. It all depends on the individual and their mindset. Regardless, the Heralds are only one part of the equation. There's a much bigger disturbance going on.

It could happen as soon as you enter or it might be as you're stepping over the threshold into another's domain. Whatever the case, you are suddenly not where you're supposed to be. Instead, you're in one of two places depending: transported into a domain you never meant to go into or in a foreign setting altogether.

Visitation

Whether you're the one transported or someone teleports unexpectedly into your space, the Horizon becomes unpredictable for the next little while. Rooms normally locked to strangers, areas you yourself may not even realize exists - you and your fellow Summoned continue to pop in and out despite your intentions.

The effect isn't painful, just disorienting, like missing a step you didn't see or stumbling through a door into a too-bright room. The person whose domain you've inadvertently visited might sense an unwanted presence, whether they're inside the Horizon or not, or they may be completely oblivious. This will depend on the strength of their connection to the Singularity and the Horizon.

Not to worry. You won't be trapped or anything in these cases...unless the domain you land in happens to seal from the inside. You might stumble on secrets you weren't meant to find, though, locked away in someone else's mind.

Ensnared

The less fortunate will be pulled into a space that they've never encountered before. The bizarreness of it resembles the glitchy visions that flashed through a few months ago, but rather than an image flickering by, you are now inside the space itself.

Trapped between minutes to hours, you can't use the Horizon's creation magic as normal. Attempts will falter or go sideways: trying to fly out might cause you to tumble, tools and objects are broken or not quite right, wounds don't vanish or heal completely, etc. More significantly, you can't seem to send or receive messages through your connection. Anything that manages to come through will be garbled and distorted. It's as though the place you are in is just out of the reach of your control.

Luckily, you may not be alone. Someone else may have gotten lost alongside you. They might already be there when you stumble through or they might arrive after you do. They might even fade out sooner than you, unintentionally leaving you behind.

Eventually, you'll be released back into the Horizon proper, spat out in a random place in the Horizon. While you're stuck, though, you can try to survive, explore, sit and wait it out, or make friends with your fellow trapped partner. Each area has its challenges and quirks that you'll need to deal with.

Scenes to Explore

JUSTICE ◎
FULL IMAGE

High in the clouds, these snowy peaks are as cold as they look. Giant marble hands reach out, though their sheer scale means you might not recognize them as hands from up close. You can scale the mountain, but if you try to go down, the hands will flip the mountain, which sends you tumbling to the top again.

It's up to you whether you can be injured when you fall. Maybe the snow will feel like marshmallows, or you'll break a bone on the jagged rocks. No two experiences are the same. If you have a partner, they could end up faring better than you despite being in the same place.

Conjure some warm clothes or a log cabin even if you wish - they might not manifest perfectly, but it'll be better than nothing. At least the view's fairly nice...while the sun is up. A blizzard will come through by nightfall. With it arrives a strange hovering light that entices you or your friend to follow it into the frozen darkness. What draws you out depends on you. It could be a familiar voice, an image, or a simple compulsion. If you're lucky, the person with you is unaffected and can try to stop you. Or maybe you're the one desperately chasing after the other person?

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THE CHARIOT ◎
FULL IMAGE

From a distance, it's hard to tell if they're shipping containers or houses stacked atop each other. A gooey mess covers the ground below. Oddly, the smell isn't as unpleasant as the goo looks. It smells like bubblegum or cotton candy, artificial and sweet. When you first fall in, you might land inside one of the homes, on top of the stacked structure, or the ground. You can try to reach anyone else who's there with you, but be careful: the ooze is spreading. Climb if you must or move from room to room. If you don't keep moving, you risk getting sucked into its sticky mass.

Each block of a home is different. Some are furnished, whereas others are empty or filled with strange knickknacks. Some might even have subconscious creations spawned by you. Keep ahead of the gloopy substance, and you'll be fine, probably. Or you can try to fight it back or block its path by sealing yourself in a room or otherwise, which can slow it down significantly. Mostly, you'll have to hope you fade out before the pink mass completely consumes the landscape.

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THE WORLD ◎
FULL IMAGE

The hazy neon glow obscures a nothingness that seems to extend forever. In the middle of the wet ground are several stacked television sets with wires plugged into nothing. Inexplicably, there's also a cat. At first, it appears perfectly normal, but keen observers will notice that its behavior is on a loop where it will walk a certain path, pause at specific intervals to lick its paws, and meow at set points. It does not acknowledge any of its intruders. You can break its loop by picking it up, at which point it'll go limp as a ragdoll. As soon as you set it down, it'll resume its actions as before.

While you can see the same images as someone else on the screens, it's also possible you'll each see something different despite being in the room together. What you see is up to you. It could be an old fuzzy movie, home videos of your childhood, trivia questions you have to answer correctly, or even a memory or vision you wouldn't want to share. Words or faces taunting you could appear between staticky flickers, or maybe your very thoughts are projected onto the screens for anyone with you to read.

Break the televisions if you want, but given a few short minutes, they'll reform between one blink and the next. Looks like you'll have to keep watching until you're released.

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THE FOOL ◎
FULL IMAGE

Sprawling and massive, you're unlikely to recognize at first that you're trapped in a labyrinth. Stone walls rise around you, and your surroundings are pitchblack. Manifest a torch or a flashlight if you can, though these will be prone to going out at inopportune times. Escaping over the walls will only send you into another section in the maze.

As you navigate the twisting corridors, you'll encounter any variety of trials and troubles: gaps in the ground, spiked traps, haunting whispers, monsters, decaying corpses. Some of these might've formed from your mind, others might've spawned from anyone else who's trapped with you.

If you aren't alone, do your best to locate your fellow Summoned. Voices do carry and echo over the walls, and there could be landmarks that help you find each other. Finding the exit, however, is another matter. Walk and climb all you want. A way out is impossible until the Horizon chooses to set you free.

Players can pick any scenario that interests them from the four choices above. Unlike the visions from before, characters can accidentally be trapped in as many of the scenes as you want, as many times as you want. Another option is that they can stay trapped in only one scene while a variety of characters fade in and out to join them, or some combination of the two. Choose what works best for your plans.

Each scene will once again carry an associated Arcana etched somewhere inside it, which can change from person to person or instance to instance. It might be on a wall, a table, or on the ground. Characters with a stronger connection to the Horizon are likely to be trapped for longer but the extent of this is your choice and it won't ever exceed a few hours. It's also your choice whether the afflictions continue to haunt them or not. If you want characters to deal with both problems while stuck together, you're welcome to!

Generally speaking, there are no restrictions other than that they won't be able to communicate with anyone outside the area, they can't escape it until the Horizon chooses to release them, and their creation magic will go wrong just enough that it'll make things tricky.

Comments

[ushiri]

[ Relief starts to fill his expression as Jack seems to come back to himself - the grip on his wrists loosening by a degree, but a wariness remaining. He doesn't immediately get off of him as he begins trying to explain - ]

I... thought you were someone else. [ A grimace, and a quick look at the ceiling where the lightning was brewing before he turns back to Jack. ] Are you done trying to stab me?

[ He shifts his weight a bit, preparing to remove himself but waiting for the answer. Beneath his thumb he can feel the tendons and delicate bone beneath the pale skin of Jack's wrists. How a conduit of creation and destruction should feel so human - it makes him think achingly of John for a second. ]

[stations]

( It's probably not surprising by now that Jack's oddly calm and pliant under Kyle's weight. He gives his wrist a little wiggle, his fingers a little flex, but it's nowhere near the same neighborhood as trying to break out of the hold.

This... should probably bother him more than it does, shouldn't it? There's a reason, isn't there? He can't... think of what it is, he can't think of why — maybe because he isn't particularly motivated to. There's no reason to think about it so hard, right? )

Why the hell would I try to stab you? ( You're his only friend, Kyle. Don't be ridiculous. ) Also- this is an awkward question, but are we having, like, a moment? I'm just asking because I'm really bad at identifying that kind of thing, and I'm reserving my reaction until I know for sure so I don't embarrass myself.

[ushiri]

[ He blinks, forcefully shrugging back those thoughts of John with guilt flashing across his features for a second along with minor confusion - then immediate guilt again. ]

No - [ he starts, releasing Jack's wrists as he straightens to sit up and remove himself, shooting him another look of confusion and concern without elaborating more on the latter question. ] ... I might've tried to stab you first.

[ He starts to stand now in one swift, graceful movement, and offers his hand to Jack to help him do the same. ] ... you don't remember that?

[ Let's focus on that part. ]

[stations]

Okay.

( It's an instant response following that no, and even he isn't totally sure why he sounds a little relieved. There's something there in the back of his mind, there's a reason. It itches, and he's almost about to scratch it when Kyle offers him that hand up.

He takes it, picks himself up off the floor, and the itch burrows deeper.

You don't remember that? )

No, not really. ( Distinctly less relieved. After a pause: ) Are you sure?

( Which is the stupidest possible question he could ask, but he just- he doesn't like accepting it when he's confronted with another black spot on his memory. It's a difficult pill to swallow.

The proof is right there on Kyle's bleeding forearm, though. )

[ushiri]

[ Are you sure? and he frowns at Jack, but his response isn't as flippant or sardonic as he might be if someone else had asked. ]

What's the last thing you do remember?

[ Maybe start from there. His eyebrows knit together as he eyes Jack, his gaze lingering for a moment on a stray strand of hair curling over his brow.

Without thinking he reaches up and gently brushes it back into place. At the same time something in him recoils, aware again that he's just stepped beyond polite boundaries - but that sensation that should've stopped him from doing it in the first place feels dull and distant. ]

[stations]

( What's the last thing you remember? He opens his mouth to answer, only to have whatever he'd been about to say scrubbed completely out of his mind when Kyle touches his hair. That, he thinks stupidly, and very nearly blurts it out.

Are you sure this isn't a moment?

It's not. Of course it's not, he'd just said it wasn't — and besides, it's not like he's got people lining up around the block waiting to shoot their shot at a one-legged insomniac that apparently blacks out and stabs people. Meanwhile, Kyle's... Kyle.

Neither of which should matter for a reason, he just can't remember what that reason is. )

Um.

( Focus, Jack. Get your shit together. He stands dimly rooted to the spot, his voice soft and a little distracted. )

I- finished shelving, so I came up to the room, and I think... you said my name, and then- I don't know, we were on the floor. I don't even have anything to stab you with.

( Which is the more important detail than Kyle trying to stab him first. )

[ushiri]

You had a boxcutter. Must've created it in self defense.

[ He lowers his hand, glancing around the room. ]

Also, lightning...?

[ But that's gone now too. He frowns, glancing at Jack again. ]

Sit. You might've knocked your head.

[ When he knocked him into the wall, or the floor. Without really waiting for him to agree he puts a hand on Jack's shoulder, leading him to the closest bed to sit down. ]

[stations]

I had a-

( He starts dimly, distantly, allowing himself to be led along toward his bed. He had a what? Why the fuck would he conjure up a-

It's about then that it all sinks in, that it properly metabolizes. )

Oh, fuck. Oh, shit-

( On instinct, on impulse, his hands tighten around Kyle's forearms. Eyes gone wide with alarm and concern, bright and green as he searches Kyle's expression. )

I came at you with a boxcutter- I didn't-

( Mean to. He didn't mean to, and it's only now that he registers the warm blood on one of his hands. Not his own. Kyle's, from the gash on his arm. From Jack. He moves with a new urgency, pressing a quickly-summoned cloth tightly against the wound to try and stem the bleeding. )

I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't- I didn't mean to-

( This might actually be the most expressive Kyle's ever seen him, the most distraught. The most emotionally affected. Nervous outright, anxiety quickly climbing.

Because Spencer's whispering in his mind: just like you didn't mean to slit my throat with one either, right Jack?

This isn't the first time this has happened. Maybe Kyle can pick up on that. )

[ushiri]

[ Jack's sudden intense anxiety is palpable, and for a second he can only look back at his wide-eyed expression with alarm and concern again. But he recovers quickly, parsing the level of intensity in his response along with what just happened, and getting the sense that this wasn't a one-off. ]

Hey. It's fine, we're both okay. I've had worse scratches.

[ He lets Jack fuss over his injured arm for the moment, using his free one to clasp the space between his shoulder and neck. His thumb settles in that hollow space above the collarbone, and without thinking too hard about it he gently strokes the ridge of bone, imagining it to be soothing. ]

This happened to you before.

[ Not just blacking out. ]

[stations]

( For one irrational, fleeting moment Jack's instincts scream at him to lie. The thing is, he's never been a particularly good liar (a polite understatement; he's fucking terrible at it), but even if he were... something about lying to Kyle right now feels bad in the simplest sense. Maybe it's because Kyle is his only friend, maybe it's because of the guilt roiling in him. Maybe it's the hand on his shoulder, the thumb brushing his skin.

Whatever the case, he can't bring himself to do it.

All he can really manage to do for a long moment is hang onto the place where he's pressing cloth to wound, clasping Kyle's arm with both hands, and lower his eyes. )

...Yeah.

( The blacking out, the lashing out. Hurting somebody without realizing it or remembering it until later.

All of the above. )

[ushiri]

Well... I did go after you first, so - I don't know what you did before, but you can call it self defense this time.

[ If that's any solace, he does seem genuinely unconcerned about the slash across his arm. And if it leaves a scar it will just be one more among many across his body. He continues slowly stroking that place along Jack's collarbone, tipping his head to one side. ]

What happened?

[ The other time? ]

[stations]

I slit somebody's throat.

( It comes out bluntly, because there's no better way to say something like that. There's no real softening it, no gentling it, and Kyle deserves to know the full truth of it. He deserves to know how unstable Jack actually is, he has a right to know, considering something similar almost happened to him just now. Maybe... maybe it was a little wrong of him not to be transparent about that before now, so Kyle could make better choices in both friends and the people he lets himself fall asleep around. )

I disassociated, or- blacked out or something, and I slit his throat open with a box cutter. I didn't remember doing it until someone made me watch the security tapes.

( When he said he could take care of himself, when he said not to worry about it, it wasn't because he's cavalier about danger. It wasn't because he didn't understand a real threat when he saw it.

It's because he can take care of himself — whether he means to or not, apparently.

He lifts his eyes to meet Kyle's properly, directly, to impress how serious he is about this next bit: )

I'm not okay. I'm genuinely, psychologically, medically fucked up. I'm pretty sure in some states I could be legally diagnosed as absolutely fucking insane, so. I don't know. Maybe you might want to reconsider who you're bunking with, because apparently I can just summon box cutters now.

[ushiri]

[ And lightning, he almost adds. That wouldn't help though, would it?

The admission doesn't seem to phase him. Maybe because he already guessed this was the case when he asked the question, from the way Jack had reacted just moments ago when he realized the cause of his memory lapse. He holds Jack's gaze, who will find him unyielding, but sympathetic. ]

Your power is dangerous, I get it. And these lapses doubly so. I know what it's like not to be able to trust your own mind. [ He lifts his hand to softly cup the side of Jack's face. ]

If you can't trust yourself, at least trust me. There's nothing to reconsider. I'm happy with where I am.

[ He's aware of the issue now, so he knows what signs to look for. He gives a small shrug. ]

Besides, who else should I bunk with? Lucifer?

[ He lets his hand drop to his side, then he goes to sit on the bed, reaching into the nightstand for a spare cloth. ]

This man you killed - was that the first time you took a life?

[stations]

( He'd be way more insistent about it if it weren't for the hand that cups his cheek. He'd start shutting down, he'd start putting up that wall of his that he's had years to perfect, but something about this... the touch, the eye contact, the trust me... it's disarming in a way Jack isn't used to.

Rather, it's in a way that he was used to once, but it's been so long he can barely remember it.

He looks back at Kyle, sees him, but for just a moment he feels somebody else. The shape of another person. The dull ache of where they once were, the still-open wound that never healed, the want. I miss you so much; his eyes, suddenly shining over and a little wet, blink a few times in rapid succession, and he tugs them away from Kyle's face to settle them somewhere safer. Some distant nowhere-point on the far wall. )

No. ( He murmurs absently, shaking his head. ) No, there were- a few before him, but also he didn't actually... die. Somehow.

( That last bit added with blatant disdain; he wishes the guy would've. In this case, it isn't the throat-slitting part that he regrets, it's the fact that he had no control over doing it. )

[ushiri]

[ He catches the slight sheen to Jack's eyes in profile, the way he blinks too quickly. At first he thinks it's for the memory of killing someone, but then his eyebrows raise in surprise at a few. It's definitely not the answer he was expecting, and it shifts something about his perception of Jack. He thinks again about him telling Kahlil to run, to leave him behind in the face of a threat - ]

Somehow?

[ It's not exactly unheard of for someone to survive a wound that should be fatal. His own people have a ritual of bearing wounds, sharing them between two people.

And then, you know, there's the fact that he was dying from a fatal wound before he showed up here... ]

You don't sound too happy about that. [ Another raised eyebrow. ]

[stations]

( Good; Kyle's perspective of Jack should shift. It's not really his fault for harboring the first impression that Jack's an awkward but otherwise totally innocent victim that's somehow managed to navigate the insane circumstances of his life while keeping his hands completely clean, but the fact of the matter is... that's not really the case. There's a reason why he wasn't alarmingly fazed by Kyle's history, by the things he's done. Granted, none of Jack's stories are quite that intense, not nearly so viscerally wrong, but they're still not... great. )

That's because I'm not. His name's Spencer, he's a homicidal psychopathic asshole that wants to kill me. He deserved it. It's not about- what I did, it's about how I did it.

( It's about the fact that it wasn't a choice, it wasn't a conscious decision. His body went on autopilot for minutes. The fact that he's capable of that is scarier than the fact that he's capable of killing. )

[ushiri]

[ He's starting to get that. Another short pause as he studies Jack, mulling over his explanation. ]

Then it sounds like a second case of self-defense. [ He speaks carefully, aware of which part of all of this is bothering Jack the most. ] Not like you're becoming a homicidal maniac at random.

[ That distinction feels important. Establishing a pattern. He knows it must still be frightening to lose control like that, maybe not in the exact same way but he knows. ]

It seems like as long as I'm not a threat to you, I shouldn't have to worry.

[ Which is... problematic right now, considering he just hallucinated that Fikiri was in the room. He frowns to himself. ]