ushiri: (Default)
Kyle ([personal profile] ushiri) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs2022-11-29 03:06 pm

( open )

Who: Kyle & open
What: Catch-all log. Open and closed starters in the comments!
Where: Castle Thorne, Nott, Horizon
When: Late November through December
Warnings: Kyle's general opt-out. Will add additional warnings if necessary.

☽ ☽ ☽
londonbound: (six.)

[personal profile] londonbound 2022-12-19 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
I... I do not think this is a job for a healer.

[ Rhy slumps, elbows on his knees, and rubs his hands over his face. He keeps them there, taking shaky breaths, his shoulders trembling. At first, he's trying not to cry; then, he's just trying to keep it reserved. ]
londonbound: (sixty-nine.)

[personal profile] londonbound 2022-12-21 06:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's enough. At the first touch, Rhy melts into him, curling up against Kahlil's side. The shock was numb at first, and then the anger, confusion and a dull, aching horror. Now, pressed up against another person's warmth, the heavy sadness drags it all down instead, and leaves him crying into Kahlil's shoulder. It is quiet, not wracking sobs so much as trembling, painful breaths, and his throat keeps closing up.

It's a few minutes before it passes. The numbness comes back; the anger will probably return later, but not yet. ]


I'm... sorry. I just...

Remembered something.

This isn't how I wanted tonight to go.
londonbound: (thirty-five.)

[personal profile] londonbound 2022-12-23 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
[ Rhy stays there, leaned against Kyle's shoulder. His eyes are not quite closed, but he doesn't look up, staring at the sidewalk ahead of them and listening to the running water in the fountain. He is silent again for a few long moments. It's not because he's thinking of what to say. He's just too sad to say it. ]

You asked me about my lovers here. And I thought of... someone. Who isn't here anymore.

And then I remembered something I think he made me forget.

Someone I cared about very much--

[ His voice catches. Rhy shakes his head slightly, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths to push down more tears. ]

We disagreed over something important. I think he-- might have used magic to make me forget the disagreement. Then, he just... ignored me. For weeks.

And now he's gone.

I feel--

[ ... ]

I don't know how to feel.

[ He really shouldn't be dumping all this on Kyle, but at the same time, Kyle deserves an explanation. He doesn't know what to say. ]
londonbound: (thirty-one.)

[personal profile] londonbound 2022-12-31 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ He nods, still without lifting his head, so Kahlil will probably feel it more than see the barest movement. ]

He's gone.

[ Him and Kylo Ren. Fitting, that they've gone together. And easier, too. Rhy doesn't think he could look Kylo in the eye either after that, knowing he'd almost certainly been aware.

It doesn't occur to him why Kyle is asking. Probably for the best, since he'd still insist against violence and would feel terribly guilty for having told anyone if Ronan ever did reappear again (Rhy really hopes he doesn't).

His shoulders sag. He turns his head further, forehead pressing into Kahlil's shoulder, and one hand slides into his lap, seeking his to hold. ]


My brother says I trust too easily.

[ Like he's doing now. The irony isn't lost on him.

Rhy lets out a soft, mournful laugh. ]


But I don't want to become the kind of person who expects betrayal.

[ That's the kind of person Ronan is. He'd known that, nearly since they met. He'd just thought, if he was open and trusting and showed Ronan how much he cared about him, just as he had for so many months, that he could assure Ronan he would never betray him. That he would always listen, and try to understand.

But there are some things even Rhy has a hard time forgiving. And the realization makes his chest feel like it's caving in. ]
londonbound: (four.)

[personal profile] londonbound 2023-01-05 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think I could do it.

[ He sounds like he's not sure whether that's a good or bad thing. Like he might wish he could, but knows only that it isn't possible. The shock lingers, but it's the hurt that overwhelms him now.

It aches with every breath. ]


It was after the attack on Libertas. [ There's a need to say it, as if explaining it will somehow make it easier to take.

Still, he doesn't say Ronan's name for Kyle. Still, some part of him wants to protect the man who'd done so much for him when he'd been at his lowest all those months ago, newly arrived all alone in this foreign castle, half of him severed at the soul. It probably could have been anyone then. Anyone who reached out enough-- but Ronan had indulged him, made himself irresistible, smothered him in affection and pleasure and magic. And he'd ended it with magic too. Maybe Ronan thought he was indulging him again, to keep Rhy from being so upset by the revelation of how different their ethics are. ]


He... It's still foggy. But I think he was... excited about it. He wanted war.

We- we disagreed.

[ Putting it lightly. Rhy had been horrified. ]
londonbound: (seventy-two.)

[personal profile] londonbound 2023-01-05 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Rhy sighs. Kahlil will feel the sag of his shoulders, the heaviness of more of his weight settling against him as if that exhale has taken all the rest of Rhy's energy, leaving him barely holding himself up. ]

...yes. I agree.

[ For selfish reasons, too.

Despite him mentioning no names, if Kahlil has been paying attention to the other Summoned or asks around a little, it won't be difficult to know who Rhy is referring to. It's been a couple of months since he and Ronan were close, but they could frequently be seen together around the castle. ]