abraxaslogs | am I a villain or a saint?

Interesting could mean any number of things.

Enough that he almost messages his brother if he did anything, but then, Lucifer would've known, right?

He almost just... Petulantly doesn't meet with Istredd. It's only a brief thought. Curiosity can get the devil, too.

"Define interesting," he says after he arrives.

Istredd didn't know if he'd join him or not, although he suspected that curiosity would win out. It always wins out for him too. Frankly, at the moment he is just grateful not to be sick. He knows Lucifer's coming before he walks in so he finishes the sentence he was writing.

"Interesting how much someone might tell you if they think you know more than you do."

Listen, Istredd has been fairly good about not prying Lucifer on details. He lets him open up in his own time and explain himself when he wants to. But Istredd is very interested and if someone is going to give him information, he's going to take it in. He smiles though, because he knows he was being a bit sneaky with his careful lack of answers to Michael. He was trying to get a read on him, that's all.

"I learned a lot about angels, so that was definitely interesting."

Michael... ugh. Whatever.

It never came up.

"You never asked," he points out. He doesn't actually sound defensive, and there's even the smallest spark of pride at Istredd for getting information out of Michael. "And my kind doesn't exist in your world, by the sounds of it."

"I am always curious about you, Lucifer, but I don't like to push. He assumed you told me a great deal about your kind." The reason Lucifer didn't is right there, they have no equivalent to angels or the God he spoke of in his world, he wouldn't know what it meant. He knows they're very old creatures and aren't human. It is nice though, to have a name for it.

"I was worried he might have found out about our bond because he touched my temple, but it was to heal my motion sickness."

It happened so fast, but their bond is defended very well. It's just that he couldn't necessarily defend himself from actual angels, and he wouldn't pretend otherwise now that he knows how formidable they are.

"Which you've never offered to do," he teases.

Michael tried to heal him when the Singularity lashed out at them, too. Didn't notice anything, thankfully, not the Lucifer thought he would.

"That's because I can't," Lucifer says mildly. If Istredd had said something about it a few months ago he may've reacted more testily. He's come to terms with a lot of things about himself now though, but it's all still a work-in-progress.

"Well, my brother would have specifically said archangel. As we are the oldest and far greater in strength than our lesser siblings." Pause. "Supposed to be, anyway."

He meanders to stand in front of the fire (because of course he does), facing Istredd, hands in his pockets. "Beings of primordial, celestial nature created by our Father, God." Or Asshole, as Lucifer would prefer. "The Creator of our world."

"Yes, he said archangel, created by God for an exact purpose." He also said he was the right hand of God, but Istredd has a sneaking suspicion that might be something annoying to Lucifer. And also something he would already know. He gets up from his seat at the desk so it's not him looking up at Lucifer like he's a teacher facing an unruly student.

He moves around the desk and sits on the end of it, facing him, his gaze its usual direct and curious. "He also said angels weren't supposed to feel emotion and change isn't easy for them." Istredd found that amusing as he knows personally that Lucifer is exceedingly emotional. But he's not like the other angels, that much is clear.

"I invited him to the tower, and he said he would come if you wouldn't be there. Apparently you two can't be in the same room easily."

"That's funny, he wears anger just as nastily as I do," he says. He adds in a feigned whisper, "Get it from Dad."

Is he not making any comment on the part about change? No? Weird. Except--

"I did get kicked out of Heaven, slapped with the title of Fallen Angel."

So he is, in fact, very different than the others.

"We can't even be on brain texts together easily," Lucifer answers. "Maybe being around you will mellow him out." It's sure what Lucifer was hoping Wanda would do for Michael. Though there is a very quiet, possessive buzz deeply burrowed in Lucifer's thoughts, one that he hasn't had in terms of Wanda.

Per most things, Lucifer ignores it.

"Oh trust me, I can see that. I did push a little on the no emotions, since I can see clearly he has them, but it was our first conversation. I didn't want him to push me off the boat."

Istredd handled that conversation very carefully. He knew he was dealing with an incredibly powerful entity, for one, but more than that, it's Lucifer's brother. Maybe a part of him wanted him to like him, even if the two of them are enemies in a way. It's complicated. Normally he never cares if someone likes him.

"I do have a skill for mellowing angels." Dryly said. He tilts his head, feeling the buzz but not in definition, before continuing. "But to be clear, I'm doing this because I care about you and he's your family. And I think it would be wise to ally with a powerful entity in Solvunn outside of Wanda, if possible."

It can be both personal and logical. He is thinking strategically, Lucifer should be proud.

"Can I ask why you got kicked out?"

And Lucifer would have been pretty mad if Michael pushed Istredd off the boat.

Not that Michael would care.

"He's more likely to talk to you about Solvunn, which is good."

He clicks his tongue and glances up at the room's ceiling, considering. He's said his side of the story so many times, to different people. Sympathy for the Devil and all that. He doesn't have to convince Istredd of anything. He told Istredd on the wall he did some vile things, and he still believes in his reasoning, even to this day.

"There was only my Father and my siblings at the Beginning of everything." That's not completely accurate, but anything else makes this complicated. He could throw in details about the Mark, too, but... he doesn't want to. "Dad creates humans, tells us to love them above all else." Lucifer shifts his stance and folds his arms. "You could say I 'didn't take it well.'"

It's... weird. To say all this without pushing for any particular angle.

He blows out a breath.

"I waged a war against Heaven. Snuck into the little Paradise of humans, tempted and corrupted them to prove how flawed they were, and got the humans cast out of that Paradise. Continued to twist and manipulate humanity into demons, created Hell, and my dearest brother Michael was ordered by our Father to lock me away into my Cage, in the bowels of my own domain. Broke my family and destroyed humanity's hope for... anything, and then I was blamed for God leaving."

He glances down from the ceiling to Istredd.

"For the record, I don't regret any of it. I just hate that my brothers refused to stand with me. Especially since, turns out, Dad was not only a jackass, but a grand-ol' liar and just drafting out multiple worlds for his own amusement."

As before when Lucifer has explained something about himself, Istredd listens without interruption. His expression continues to be very hard to read, although Lucifer has more access than an expression currently, he can feel his reactions. He is intrigued and then concerned, but it helps that Lucifer doesn't really go looking for the sympathy or try to excuse himself. He says it directly and truthfully, and while it would be better if he regretted it, at least he's being honest.

"At least that explains why I'm not supposed to use the word Cage." Wanda pointed that out and Istredd had no idea what she meant at the time. It also explains why Lucifer feels more cooped up and anxious than most people about the situation at Thorne. He doesn't like being trapped.

Istredd knew that Lucifer did terrible things and told plainly, it's clear that he did. He just continues to be of the belief that currently, their actions in this world have to matter. Neither of them can change what was done in Lucifer's world. It means that people who have hate toward him, they have their reasons. He isn't going to waste time with Dean Winchester, for example, about who Lucifer is now. Michael though, that is different. He can see the big picture. All of this is clearly expressed in his mind if not in actual words. He is being honest too.

"So you weren't telling the entire truth when you said Wilhelm heard the wrong things about you. Those weren't all fairy tales." Morality is a strange subject in his world. It's a dark world with dark people. He is far from innocent.

"I worked for an emperor who was conquering innocent countries. Well, mostly innocent. While many of the people working with me were glad for it, there is no denying the violence he caused." And that makes Istredd culpable in something shady. He still thinks there is a valid argument to be made for what was happening. And saving the elves was another piece of it. "I am not all good either. I won't lecture you on bad decisions."

Edited 2023-01-02 04:09 (UTC)

"Oh, the books that he's read are fairytales. He only knew of 'the devil' and 'Satan'." If Istredd's ever caught Lucifer's disgust at his Devil's arcana, this is the answer to why. Another title, following him between worlds, stuck to his appearance even in the Horizon.

"Thousands of years later, my name left as nothing but an evil, a betrayer, the monster under the bed. And for thousands of years I was locked in that Cage, time in Hell moving slower," Lucifer snarls.

Maybe they 'joke' about not being able to say 'Cage', but there is a notable darkness swept over Lucifer's thoughts and words when he gets into it.

"My Father locked up everything he didn't want to deal with, or so it could 'come back later' as a plot point in his stupid stories. Used me to help lock up his sister, locked up his own beastly creations known as the Leviathans, locked up me. No talking. Just left me, alone, to simmer in my rage, and built me into his prophecies, and the Apocalypse, crafted me into the exact villain he needed to come out swinging!

"I did what I did, fine, but everything after--every, single, thing--I was blamed for, and I had nothing to do with the choices humanity made after they were cast out! But who did they blame? They didn't pray in my name, they put wars and riots and stubbing their damn toes all on me, in the name of God!

"I've owned up to what I did." To an extent. He slashes an arm through the air. Has the fire in the fireplace gotten a bit fuller? Strange. "I will not take responsibility for the action of a bunch of crying apes!"

"I am not all good either. I won't lecture you on bad decisions."

... He does... sort of... hear Istredd. There is some clinging awareness to his thoughts, grabbing onto the snippets, an understanding that Istredd's not... attacking him, but. Well.

Trauma.

"Lucifer," he starts and stops. This is not the first time he has let Lucifer purge his feelings. He did the same thing when he talked about Yennefer, so turnabout really is fair play here. He just doesn't want Lucifer to get over the top and upset himself too much. Not that he can control it since that is exactly what is happening.

Frankly, this does all seem fucked up. Everyone is a product of their environment, including him. How much did he blame on Stregobor? Much of it, until recently when he owned up more to following in his footsteps. Some of it is natural personality, but a lot of it was made too. Trapped in a cage for thousands of years is insane. Lucifer should be insane. Being tossed into it by your own parent is also beyond rational.

He reaches out to touch Lucifer's arm after it slices through the air, steady and firm. Not unlike when he tried to talk Yennefer down from fleeing and getting caught by Stregobor. A well-placed gesture of affection to try and ground in the moment. He chose emotionally chaotic people.

"I'm glad you told me. I wanted to know. But what happened then, it is out of your hands. It's done. Your father isn't here, the other angels aren't here, and even those crying apes are not the same ones here. Who do you want to be now?"

"Two of the other angels are here," Lucifer mutters, solely to be contradictory. "And neither of them are going to let it go anytime soon, even if my younger brother did more damage to Heaven than I ever could."

Way to basically make angels almost extinct, Castiel.

Lucifer may as well have predicted Castiel becoming Public Enemy #1 after Lucifer was wrestled back into the Cage.

If he had a nickle for every time someone asked him what he wanted. Honestly, there was a part of him--the dark, original self-loathing being--that thought Istredd would realize he needed to get Wanda to break their link. Realized that what Lucifer forced them into definitely was a mistake.

His breathing isn't entirely steady when he says, "Someone with the ability to change." It's not much of an answer, because Lucifer continually doesn't have one, but it is a shift to his usual 'I don't know'. He's not so much the 'old dog, old tricks' that Sam Winchester threw back at him when he denied Lucifer a Vessel Round 2.

He knows the potential is there.

"You'll have to excuse me for my bluntness, but fuck them. It is their choice to hold onto their opinions and even if it is justified, it is a waste of energy since you are not doing anything destructive here. If you want to find a way to make peace with them, I encourage that, our enemies are the people who took us here, but you don't need to."

Istredd is in a solid medium place where he can understand grudges and their reasons why, no one is required to get over anything, but it also seems pointless to him. As much as he bitches about Stregobor, if he showed up here and was attempting to make better decisions, it might take Istredd time to accept he changed, but he already wants to believe that. An ally is an ally.

It never occurred to him to break the link. Lucifer didn't deceive him about the person he was. Not the details, but the summary and warnings were enough. He is not harming his mind.

"That's good. And also something I told Michael. He said if any angel was capable of it, it would be you." Which in all truth could be seen as an acknowledgment.

Edited 2023-01-02 06:11 (UTC)

"Pretty sure from him that wasn't a compliment." As though that happens much. As though they do anything but fight, with the occasional, waterlogged memory causing them to react differently.

Lucifer has no idea what to do with Michael on a good day, and him and Castiel are just... estranged. They've talked, some, but it's stilted conversation, which is maybe better than how Michael and Lucifer are just constantly at each other's throats with little desire to actually kill the other.

But Istredd's right, it is an acknowledgement of sorts.

A sigh.

"Michael. He wasn't too much a pain in the ass, then?"

"Maybe not, but it probably would be to the rest of us." Michael can disagree all he likes, although Istredd did get the feeling it wasn't entirely an insult. Hard to say as he told the man he was a difficult read. Istredd thought he had a good impassive expression. Once people got to know him better like Lucifer, he is much easier to read, as his emotions are strong simply dampened down.

"No, he was polite. He already knew who I was, apparently there are some rumors going on that I wasn't aware of."

Istredd was not ignoring it, he genuinely had no idea it was happening. And for Michael to have picked up on it, there must be more whispers than he thought. He has no idea of how to react to that. Or if he has an idea, he is ignoring that for certain.

"It's obvious that both of you don't have much respect for most humans, and unfortunately I am one of them."

Rebels gonna rebel, and stick together. That last part is new to him.

"Oh, trust me, it's incredibly annoying," Lucifer says, shaking a finger at Istredd. "You, and Wanda." He bobs his head side to side and makes a scrunched-up face. "Couple others, here or there."

More than he'd imagine to ever have an actual tally.

"Rumors?"

"It's new to me too. I never thought I'd have two telepathic bonds with people not from the Brotherhood."

Istredd is not as cold as Lucifer so it's a little more likely that he'd eventually let people into his heart, it was more that he had to notice long enough to do it. It feels good though, great even. It does come with pitfalls, but he feels like he can handle them. Until something happens, and he might come to regret that strange idealism.

It seems Lucifer was as blind to the rumors as Istredd was. Neither of them are the gossiping type. Istredd is being a bit cautious here. Casual. "Rumors that the two of us are more than friends. He believes it."

Lucifer was not blind, but he wasn't sure if Istredd had any other rumors that would let Michael know his name.

"Ohhhh, that followed us even here?" The fact that the first time Istredd's hearing it is from Michael is just... really funny to Lucifer. And the fact that Michael heard it. Lucifer really wonders what he did with that.

"You really need to get out more if this is the first time you're hearing it, buddy."

Istredd scrunches up his nose, annoyed that Lucifer apparently knew all this time! "Are you that surprised? I've been distracted and busy." Ever since he got here he has been busy. Now that he's gone to the Singularity the drive to learn hasn't changed. He is not the type to pay attention. In hindsight he can see where the misconceptions would come from.

It is somewhat amusing he heard it from Michael of all people. It blindsided him at the time, but he never did correct the assumption. It seemed better to say nothing. He smiles though after a beat. "He called me his future brother-in-law." That was funny. Both amusing and almost sweet in a way. He's sure he meant it in a sarcastic or negative way.

"Apparently he's not aware that you have no interest in any of that." Lucifer told him that and he accepted it without question.

No, he supposes he shouldn't be surprised.

"Look, people talk about me all the time, it's just background noise," Lucifer says in explanation. If it's not one thing, it's another. Not worth stressing over or acknowledging. At least no one's referred to him as a monster.

"But, wow, Michael, going straight on to the finishing line. Even Thorne's not that bad in their assumptions." He snorts. "The only opinion my brother knows of mine is how I feel about humanity and our Father."

"I suppose there could be worse things for people to talk about. But no, I had no idea. I didn't clarify for him." Let's not dig too deep into his reasons there are several of them! One being that he was blindsided, another being that he didn't feel it was Michael's business, third being he assumed Michael was trying to get a rise out of him. And the other thing.

"It is possible he was joking, but it was not easy to tell. He is harder to read and dryer than I am." Which is saying a lot! But he is an archangel and has perfected doing that over many, many years. Istredd can't become that perfect of an expression in less than a hundred. He crosses his arms over his chest, still leaning back on the desk.

"It is surprising, surely people have more interesting things to talk about."

"My brother doesn't have a sense of humor."

That might be putting it extremely, but of the four archangels, Michael is definitely bottom-rung when it comes to humor.

"People will find anything to gossip about." Especially when their queen's 'recently' firebombed another nation. "It is, quite literally, not going to disappear." They room together. In Thorne, in Nocwich, on the boat--actually he should have expected the rumor to follow them here just on that alone--and they're not going to stop rooming together anytime soon, if at all.

"Then I guess I should start calling him brother-in-law just for the sake of consistency. Roommate-in-law just doesn't have the right ring to it."

Michael may not have a sense of humor but Istredd does, and that would be a little funny. He doesn't really intend on correcting him any time soon. It is possible he opened up more than he intended because he was mistaken about the role in Lucifer's life. And his interest may have started in the first place because of that.

"It doesn't sound like they're listening to logic, so oh well. At least they're assuming good taste." His expression and mind seem particularly inscrutable for a few seconds, more blank than usual as he considers inwardly. No, best to pass by it and say nothing. Better for everyone.

"You don't mind if your brother visits?" Is that a distraction from a topic he might sweat about? Absolutely.

"Please do," Lucifer laughs, "he won't know what the hell to do with it, and if he hasn't treated you poorly, might as well milk it."

Although that does have the likelihood of getting back to Wanda--

Well. She's smart enough to not believe it. It's all just words, after all.

The fire is, finally, back to normal, with the occasional pop-sizzle. The blankness, momentary enough, throws Lucifer just a bit, but similarly how Istredd doesn't know the cause when Lucifer's mind sometimes blips, Lucifer doesn't bother pushing. Istredd likely is one to get lost in his own head, after all.

Lucifer's thoughts not having the same odd blankness, come across as if he's not a jackass about it at the same moment Lucifer says, "It's fine."

So. He still needs to get used to those kind of discrepancies.

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