abraxaslogs | january catch-all

[ She doesn't say anything, but she has. She has found that, and she didn't really ever believe she would, at home. Hell, she hadn't even thought that trusting people that much was possible. She just takes another sip.

But when he brings up Nadine, she can't help a laugh, and she presses her fingertips to her mouth. ]

No no, Nadine's from my world. We've been together here since the second Summonin', when I got here. Her oil is fine, it's made from cannabis. Totally safe, you can't even OD on it. You should definitely try her stuff.

[ Okay, yes, Julie has a financial incentive to get people to give Nadine's products a shot, but also, she just really like weed. Everyone does. She shakes her head a little. ] The native stuff is what's a killer. It's not like pot, it's way stronger and more... mm, like psychedelic. Also a sedative. Someone who lived with us, who's gone now, he had some. We once used it to help a friend who got shot in the stomach. So she could sleep.

[ He seems a little relieved when she explains. And he'd agreed with Nadine to try to the mildest dose anyway, just to be safe because of his very specific allergy. But then Julie just casually drops that last part and his eyebrows shoot right back up. ]

Shot in the stomach?

Yeah. [ She sighs heavily and rolls her eyes. She sounds much more like she considers this to be a stupid event than a traumatic one. Which, to someone from a different world, probably would be traumatic, but Julie's world was far more dire than a gunshot wound. ] There were these other girls we brought along to Nott, they got into a fight and one of 'em wound up shooting the other. It was so fuckin' dumb, I swear.

[ Pausing, she takes a long sip, then raises her eyebrows. ] She was fine, though. Nadine and I saved her. You could see right through to her guts 'fore she healed, it was gnarly. The mayor or whatever of Nott threw the other girl outta the city. He's good people.

[ He feels a phantom twinge in his own abdomen as she describes what happened. He grimaces. ]

The healing magic here is much more powerful than I've ever seen. [ Some priests were proficient in rituals to assist healing, but nothing like what he's seen the mages do here. He shakes his head slowly. ] But it seems to take a lot out of the mages who do it. My friend wore himself out pretty badly after the fires.

[ Trying to take care of all the patients coming in. He'd been worried about Rhy overextending himself. The younger man's since recovered physically, but mentally... ]

The mayor - Lyle Vela? It sounds like he cares about his people. [ At least someone in Thorne does. But Kahlil has inherent misgivings about politicians and nobles - or lords, as they're styled in Nott. ]

Oh sure, but we didn't use magic. [ A shrug. ] Neither of us knew any, and we didn't have any money to pay for a mage or a healer. We just took out the bullet and patched her up.

[ It was more or less the only option. It was probably also what set Nadine's path in motion, among other things. And there's nothing that can bring two people closer than saving a life together. ]

Yeah, him. I only ever met him around town a few times, but he told us when we got there that he'd only turn us back over to the castle if we caused trouble.

[ The surprise at her correction is fairly evident on his features. Not only because they were able to take care of a wound like that on their own, but - ]

I didn't realize anyone had guns here.

[ Thancred's odd weapon aside, he hadn't seen any in Thorne's borders. Maybe Jack could create one, but that sounds like an awful idea. For some reason he heard shoot and assumed a crossbow. ]

That's fair enough. [ Vela's possible support of Summoned wanting to escape the castle had come up in recent discussions. And he already knows a little about her time in Nott from previous conversations. ] He has to look out for his city, first.

[ They are, after all, outsiders.]

There are guns in the Cities. Not like, modern ones. More like flintlocks and stuff, and they ain't cheap. But yeah, we never found out where Susan got the one she had. [ She takes a small sip and looks to the side. ] She disappeared 'bout a year ago. I sold her horse and the gun not long after.

[ They'd been what pushed her savings high enough to afford the portal to Cadens. But Julie would have waited months longer if she'd got to keep Susan around in exchange. ]

Like I said, he's good folks, at least as far's I know about it. I think he's just tired of how the rest of Thorne treats Nott. Like they're black sheep, even though they were in charge first.

You've seen so many people come and go. [ He studies her profile when she looks to the side, less interested in guns now - ]

I read about some of that history. [ As much as he was able to, with how the library in Thorne is 'curated'. ] Some of the buildings are old and - well, you've seen them.

[ He's not telling her anything she wouldn't already know, having lived there for a time.

It was the people who allegedly executed the previous royal family. And with the recent rumors... ]

There's been talk about people going missing. I don't know that it's specific to Nott but - if there were people from Nott leaving the city of their own free will, for their own safety, do you have any idea where they might go?

[ He throws it out there just in case, not really expecting that she might. It's been a while since she lived there, anyway. ]

Yeah. [ That single word carries a heaviness. When Julie first came to Abraxas, she relished meeting new people. After living in a world where the very idea of "new people" had become absurd, it was exciting. Until she realized that she was doomed to lose them over and over again. Now, she often avoids the newly summoned until they've been around for a bit.

Her brow furrows at his question. "Going missing" can mean a lot of different things. ] I don't know. Maybe just further away from the city? Either that, or else... they could be escapin' Thorne altogether.

[ There are people he would miss greatly if they were to vanish, now. Something he never had before. In Nurjima there was only Alidas, and a nagging voice in his head had told him that the captain didn't think him worth keeping around. It doesn't matter much now whether that was true or not, things had gotten to a point where he couldn't have stayed with the Bousim even if he had actually wanted to.

Maybe just further away from the city? That's what he had initially wondered, though the untamed countryside seemed dangerous for the average city native. Both eyebrows raise. ]

To another faction, like you and your friend? [ That came up with someone else, too - but it was the disappearance of Solvunn natives they'd been discussing. ]

[ It's both a blessing and a curse, to have people here that mean so much. She's not sure she would survive otherwise, but every day, she wakes with an edge that she can't shake until she's sure everyone is still where they're meant to be. ]

It's possible, I guess. But it ain't easy. I doubt they all suddenly have the gold for that kinda travel. It's expensive, way more than most folks could make without months and months to save.

[ Julie doesn't think she would have been able to save the money in six months without a bunch of luck -- she had sort of just kept inheriting military-trained horses to sell. The first had been the one Nadine and Lloyd rode. The second was the one Geralt escaped from the castle on, after she spent her first nest egg to get him back to Cadens after he'd been kidnapped. The third was Susan's horse, left when Susan vanished. The fourth is her own, a big black stallion named Baron, still with her.

But the vast majority of people wouldn't have that kind of small fortune repeatedly dumped on them. She'd also worked her ass off in the tavern, trading on her looks and exoticness to boost up her tips. A normal, regular person would have to work twice as long and hard, if not more, than she had. ]

Or they've found someone who isn't asking for gold in payment.

[ Like those that helped the Summoned in Thorne escape, during the execution Geralt told him about. But that's a large leap. He'd grown up during something vaguely similar in Basawar, though. The common folk slowly abandoning their cities, escaping to the hills and joining up with the Fai'daum.

Sometimes he remembers being very young, all of his family still alive and living with others. Together, with a blond dog... ]

Either way, living in hiding like that is difficult. Especially now with the food shortages, and during the winter months... I hope that if they are leaving on their own, they have found somewhere safe.

The mages in Nott who are willin' to risk portals would only take gold. I mean, far as I know, anyway. I can't think of anythin' else they would want more than money.

[ And she doubts that anyone is just traipsing through Thorne, offering the kind of escape the Summoned got. Those people had exerted a massive amount of magic, and no one has heard from them since. And, at the heart of it, the Summoned are special. Saving a group of people from other worlds, all with a connection to the Singularity, is different than saving random fucking townsfolk. ]

Sure. But I think it's probably more like a serial killer or somethin' pickin' 'em off.

[ She might be right. What could the common folk have to offer? That would take more organization, and there's no proof that any of that is happening. It sticks in the back of his mind, though.

He pulls another face when she mentions serial killers. ]

I hope not. Though that would be an easier problem to solve.

[ Relatively speaking, anyway. ]

Mm, not if it's a lady serial killer. Y'know, back home, the FBI had this theory that like, 90% of female killers are never caught. [ She takes a knowing sip of her drink. ] Who's better to clean up a bloody mess than a woman?

[ Julie is pretty sure that she could clean up a single dead body if she really needed to. Thousands of them, no, but one dead body that's not carrying an extra fifty pounds of fluid? A body that, presumably, she would have less objection to dismembering than her own parents? She thinks she could handle it.

But it's all just a dark joke. She doesn't really believe that there's a prolific lady serial killer roaming the countryside of Thorne. It would probably be a lot more interesting than the truth. ]

In all seriousness, I think it's probably somethin' a lot less dramatic. Usually is, right? Most people who disappear want to disappear.

[ Considering what Julie just told him about her and her friends' surgery skills, he'd believe it. His eyebrows still raise, though, smiling a bit at that way she takes her drink. ]

Women aren't treated much like equals, where I'm from. So, I guess that makes sense. [ That they could get away with it, since the rashan'im and local authorities wouldn't consider a woman at all, unless they were investigating her for witchcraft.

He stretches his legs out for a moment, then folds them up again. ]

Most people. Especially in a city. [ Said in agreement. He glances up at the sky, white clouds rolling over blue. ] When I was young, I used to try to run away from the monastary. But I always ended up returning.

[ A part of him couldn't leave. ]

[ Skills that were ironically gained at a point in time where hiding a murder victim was really the least of most people's worries. There were few repercussions to killing in a world that subjective.

She snorts a bit. ] Yeah, women weren't really equal back home, neither. We sort of had the label, some of the perks, at least for most of my life. We could vote and work and men were supposed to get in trouble for hurtin' us. Stuff like that. But it wasn't real equality. Paid less, treated worse. And then...

[ Julie can't help but trail off. After society collapsed, being a woman was easily the most risky thing left. Men kidnapped women, raped them in plain sight, kept them as slaves. Even in New Vegas, which did have enforced laws against such things, those rules didn't apply to the pleasure girls, people enslaved for encroaching on the territory without intention to join them willingly. Those girls were given as prizes to death match winners and Flagg's favored. And even women like Julie and Nadine were treated as objects, gifts to give and entice others into whatever Flagg wanted. She doesn't suffer any delusions that they were ever anything more.

Welcome to the 21st fucking century, same as every other in history. ]

When everythin' you ever knew is in one place, it's hard to leave it behind. [ There was a reason that Julie didn't leave Kansas until she had to. Before Trips, there had been nothing stopping her from just getting in a car and driving away from Pratt forever, if she really wanted to. People without money move all the time. But everyone she had ever known and loved was in that tiny shithole town, and she didn't know how to walk away from that. ] But you give someone the right incentive, and they'll make it happen.

Maybe somewhere out there, in another world, it's all the opposite. Men wear wedding chains and black tattoos on their fingers while they mind the children, and the women sit on council seats.

[ He lets out a huff like a laugh, though it lacks all that much humor. That's only the same problem turned around the other way. But these things seem ingrained in humanity so deeply that they traverse universes. It's funny how it seems that in most worlds, witches are hunted down and burnt at the stake, Wanda had only just recently said to him.

She's not wrong about the last part, either. If not for Rousma and the trouble she would get in, maybe he would've really tried to leave. But also - Rathal'pesha was both prison and home. What he missed of that place is here, in his domain. He can touch the familiar, cool stone within the temple. He can summon the scent of pine trees and incense. He can bring what he remembers of the old tomes from the libraries, the ones he likes with the illuminations (he's so, so tired of reading). He can even sleep on his old cot, if he wanted to.

He brought a piece of John's house here. Horizon can give them that much, when they miss it. ]

[ Julie starts to agree, but very quickly stops and gets caught in a series of rapid blinks. ] I'm sorry, chains? You put chains on women when they get married?

[ Look, Julie has heard of all manner of absolute bullshit that women in other countries go through. Forced to cover up or not allowed out without a man. But she has never heard of a culture where it's normal to chain women. Like, to the ground? She's baffled. How do they get anything done? ]

[ He blinks back at her a few times, confused - then, oh. ]

Not ah - these chains. [ He motions by pressing his wrists together, the cup of fathi held in both hands for a moment. Then he points to just above his knuckles with one hand. ]

They are shorter and lighter to attach to silver rings on the fingers. Only the wealthiest families use them, the nobles and merchants whose women don't have to work. The common folk get black tattoos on their fingers instead.

[ He gives a slight shrug after explaining. It's the norm in Basawar. ]

When a rich man is looking for a wife, he carries many silver chains on his belt.

[ But he doesn't have to wear them himself. To Kahlil they just look annoying, the ladies must practice how to keep them from getting in the way at their fancy dinners. ]

Edited 2023-01-28 05:44 (UTC)

[ She honestly doesn't think that's much clearer; she understands the idea of maybe a chain linking a single wedding ring to a bracelet, she's definitely seen jewelry like that. But is he saying their fingers are essentially chained together? It's not the wildest thing she's ever heard. She knows about foot binding and those tribes that make their necks so long that their heads flop over if they take off the coils of their necklace. Chained rings make sense in that way. Julie just doesn't see how it's functional, even for rich ladies who don't need to work. Don't they do all that dumb fancy shit like embroidery or whatever? (Julie's never been rich in that kind of context. When she was "rich", she mostly just partied and picked out new, expensive outfits every day. She has no idea what real rich people do with their time.)

She shakes her head a little as she takes another drink. ] Sounds more like a jailer, just wanderin' around, lookin' for women like we're animals to catch in a trap. They know they're allowed to actually talk to women, right? Like, we know how to use words?

[ Another light huff. ]

That analogy isn't all that far off... [ There's something sinister about them the night of the ball, knowing the murderous plans of the men who carried them. And how fearful the women looked when they whispered about Jath'ibaye. He had entered the Bell Dance with no chains on him, though, and he swore he heard some of those same girls sigh in relief.

John had looked beautiful and frightening that night - but he shrugs those thoughts away. ]

I think some would prefer if they didn't have to speak to their women at all. Love matches are rare. [ He feels some measure of sympathy for the younger gaunvur'im, but he knows the women of the nobility can be as vicious in their schemes as their men. They are not people he would have been willing to work for on his own, except for Alidas and the fact that he had no where else. ]

My world had arranged marriages too. Always has. But the whole idea was that you're supposed to... grow to love the other person, I guess? Or at least get along with 'em well enough. It seems weird to me to decide to marry a woman at all if you don't want one around.

[ Julie obviously comes from a culture that's predominately biased toward love matches, but it's not like she's never heard of arranged marriages and betrothals. But to her understanding, it's never been geared toward couples detesting each other. Even if it's all political or monetary, shouldn't a marriage be some form of partnership? Wouldn't a man want to like the mother of his children, at least to a point?

Then again, she knows plenty of poor people who have gotten married and probably shouldn't have. But they don't hate each other like she thinks would be necessary to treat someone the way Kyle describes. ]

Do your people not have like, IVF or surrogates yet?

I think a large dowry is supposed to smooth out any ah, personal incompatibility.

[ There's something wry in his tone. He doesn't really feel this way himself.

The expectations for the wives of the gaun'im in Basawar are very different compared to even the common folk of the country - even in the decades after the fall of the Payshmura. They are meant to produce healthy heirs and not cause any issues for their spouses.

It's only getting slowly better for women in general, but he imagines that change is even slower for the gaunvur'im. It's not something he really thinks about, though, outside of his assignments that put him in their orbit.

In his mind, cobbled from bits of broken memory and sifting through what he was told by the priests and what he realizes might not have been true: he imagines his parents must have loved each other. ]

IVF? [ He looks confused, trying to parse the meaning from surrogate. There are things he can recall easily, and others that never came up in conversations (or television). ]

Don't dowries go to the woman's family? [ She squints. ] Some bastard gives my dad some money and thinks he's allowed to treat me like shit for it, he's got another think comin'. Like I wouldn't straight up Lorena Bobbitt a dude and smile while I do.

[ She glances to the side, eyebrows raised archly as she takes another sip. No, only a very stupid man would try to mistreat Julie. She might be easy prey for manipulative demons, but she has no qualms destroying a regular old human man on the spot. ]

Yeah, In-vitro fertilization. Like, test tube babies? Babies without the fun part, basically. But real useful for rich gay dudes who only marry women to pump out some kids. They pay a lady to carry the baby and give birth, then they get their kid and they never have to really deal with havin' women they don't want around.

january catch-all

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