abraxaslogs | I don't trust, but I see right in front of me

Istredd sighs at that hum because he vaguely knows the intention but he doesn't press either. He's not asking for any promises. It's not as if he plans on never speaking to Castiel again himself. He plans on checking in with him soon. It is more coming from a place of concern for Lucifer's life. Once Dean's not a threat, whatever he wants to do is fine.

"Oh yes, I definitely would like us to go directly through the fish market. Really take in the end of the day stench." He smiles and trails his pinkie finger along Lucifer's hand in the smallest of gestures, already walking them toward the portal.

"No, what I want is to go decompress and eventually snuggle in bed with my permanent icicle of a significant other." Decompress from doing something that he didn't want to do, going out and about, and while it was a success overall, he wants to take a breather and release the stress.

"And thank him for making the most of a shitty situation today."

Hey, he's just being honest.

"But then we can bring the awful smell of fish--sorry," he says to a stranger as he passes them, who looks mildly annoyed at the jab, "back to the castle with us. Drift the smell through the walls!" Oh, but then it'd follow them to their room, so maybe not. Lucifer doesn't need to sleep with the fishes.

He starts laughing, completely random, no connection in his thoughts to make any sense, and throws an arm over Istredd's shoulders as he just continues to lose his mind in the streets of Nott.

He keeps his arm there even as his burst of humor starts to settle. "Well, it's a good thing you're molten hot. Balances out nicely."

He's sure he made things just as shitty himself, but hey, Istredd's anxiety is absent, so a mild fight was still a distraction.

Istredd also randomly broke out into laughter not that long ago so who knows where these things can come from. He glances over at his lover, amused and a little curious, since at least there was a connection he knew with himself. But he is deeply pleased by the arm around his shoulders so he doesn't press, he leans into it, always hungry for affection. He is happy when it stays there, for now.

"I didn't realize how hilarious I am," he teases. The adoration flares to life and pours out of him into the bond. Sometimes the two of them do fight or push conflict, but they also have a skill for de-escalating and coming back to their friendship.

"I take my responsibility as a bed warmer very seriously." It turns out their body temperatures do match well. And Istredd's put work into making certain his partner is comfortably warm wherever possible.

Edited 2023-05-18 20:32 (UTC)

One day, maybe, they'll have a 'normal' trip somewhere without any emotional baggage. Ha!

As if.

"Your dry wit is a charm," he says, because he can be an asshole five minute ago, but he can also properly give a compliment when he sees the opportunity, even if it wasn't the source of his laughter.

"And you are very good at keeping me warm."

Ha. As if!

"Flattery will get you many places." Maybe not everywhere, but it will definitely get him somewhere. Istredd runs his fingers along Lucifer's spine with a gentle touch. That is why he likes crawling into bed with Lucifer every night. Draped limbs on him at all times.

You're not going to tell me what you were laughing at? Rude.

You wouldn't get the joke, but okay.

This is what he's explaining to Istredd as they cross through the portal, out loud, because he's a gremlin and he likes to keep the Thorne guards on their toes even though he trains a handful of them.

Well, okay, half the conversation is out loud. Lucifer isn't a complete moron.

"So there's an idiom 'sleeping with the fishes'," he explains. It means to be murdered, to be killed and the body hidden from the public by disposing it in water. "And I thought, well, drawback of bringing the smell of fish into Thorne is to bring it into our space. Like." He's chuckling again, waving at the Thorne guards as they continue on, out of the room. "We'd be sleeping with the fishes." Doesn't matter that they could change clothing or try to scrub the smell off. That would've lingered, he's sure of it.

He has a very morbid sense of humor. Istredd knows this already.

Istredd relaxes as soon as they step through the portal back to the castle. As much as this place can seem like a prison, it's a refuge at the moment. One of the only spaces he does feel overall safe. That won't be forever, but he'll take it for now. He nods to the guards as they walk through, he knows some of them too, but otherwise he's listening intently to Lucifer's explanation.

He does get it now that it's explained though. Sleeping in their room, sleeping with the scent of fishes. He doesn't find it funny since yes the meaning is somewhat lost, but it makes sense. Istredd glances at him and smiles, shaking his head. He sneaks his hand into Lucifer's casually now that they're in the castle where they can drop their hands if someone comes around the bend.

"I understand it would be hilarious in your sphere." Well, among dark senses of humor. "But I wouldn't have let us bring that smell back to our room." The worst scents to him right now all have to do with the Pit. Mushrooms, mud, dirt. But fish would be up there, as fresh as they had it in Nott.

"I really need to find a way to make money so I can buy my own books." It's not easy in Thorne. He considers. "Maybe I should go hunting with you." Is he an obvious hunter, no. Does he have impressive magic? Yes.

"It's very hilarious," he says, as though it were fact. Istredd doesn't exactly have an easy way to source if it's true or not. Wilhelm didn't know macaroni art he's not going to know bad mafia jokes! But he also wouldn't have wanted to bring that smell back. He was at the bottom of the ocean with a rapidly-decaying vessel at one point for a nebulous period of time (thanks, Rowena). He's not into sushi.

Lucifer unexpectedly swivels around and sweeps up the hold of their hands and takes Istredd's other, cupping both between his. There is a startled spark accompanying the action.

"Yes," he says. It was a bit of a trial convincing Istredd to train with him in the first place. He's suggested Istredd coming with him before, but never pushed. That Istredd is suggesting is too much for Lucifer to just ignore. "It would be a genuine pleasure."

Istredd doesn't expect that and suddenly both his hands are taken and a spark flares between them. He was reluctant at first when Lucifer suggested training him, but he has done reasonably well, enough that had he been given the opportunity, he could have fought his captors off. Or at least tried.

He hasn't given much thought to it, but he probably will be helpful in this situation. He has an impressive array of offensive spells that just never get used. Istredd simply doesn't expect that reaction and he smiles at him.

"Oh really?" he flirts. It's difficult not to when Lucifer's holding his hands and looking truly pleased about the idea. His eyes are fixed on Lucifer, they may as well be completely alone in this castle at that moment. "Is it because you want to show off?" Now teasing as well.

"It is my element," he says. He's gotten better at knowing what output levels of power he can handle without significantly weakening himself instantly like he had that first time. The delicate knife-balance of power versus sheer force. And begrudgingly he's gotten better with a spear because breaking one the first time and claiming 'accident' was one thing, but he couldn't very well keep doing it.

Michael was better when it came to wielding spears.

Come on, Istredd, he very nearly purrs. For once he has to remind himself that they are in a hallway. Don't you want to see how good we are together in other venues?

He might as well be purring, Istredd can feel that down his spine whether he did it or not, the implication. He flushes and his heart races for a few seconds. We are in a public hallway, he says, mostly to himself, but for both of them. Lucifer is still fantastic at temptation, if he had any doubts.

Istredd shakes it off as best as he can, it wasn't fair. He hasn't pulled away though and he smirks at Lucifer. I do want that. He agrees, thinking how gratifying it would be, to prove to Lucifer that he can be his partner everywhere. To show them both how he's not weak and never has been.

"I wouldn't mind showing off too."

Edited 2023-05-18 23:29 (UTC)

Yeah, can't help it, your spine-tingling is worth the risk, he says, very much further in Istredd's space for all of five seconds before pulling abruptly away and continuing down the hall, putting significant space between them. And Istredd thought Lucifer up for seduction.

He waves a dismissive hand over his shoulder, but he's also buzzing, so it is mutual, Istredd.

"I want to see you have reason to unleash," he calls back cheerily, knowing Istredd will be quick to fall back into step with him. "Best way to do that is in the heat of the hunt."

Lucifer. He means to say it in a warning way and it comes out more like a heated caress. Istredd doesn't pull away when he gets into his space and he is clearly about to ignore all of his own warnings about being in public. Unfortunately, he has shown his hand clearly to Lucifer, he knows now how weak at the knees Istredd can get. Stupid, very stupid, in the right (or wrong) circumstances.

He swears under his breath when Lucifer pulls away and takes in a deep breath, following him to fall back into step. "Fine. Take me hunting, let me unleash, and then I buy you a drink." It's probably going to be good for both of them. Istredd has never let loose before in his entire life, their training was so focused. Control was necessary. The idea of not letting anything hold him back is a strange one, and months ago, it would've been an uncomfortable idea. Now, he can see the appeal.

"Who knows, maybe we'll get enough money to not be ridiculously poor, between the two of us."

Yeah that 'warning' only provides him with a thrill it'll do nothing on it's own, ever. But Lucifer, sometimes, can police himself. 'Sometimes.'

He does, truly, want them to actually be able to learn how to fight in sync. Has wanted it for a bit, but he didn't have the right, mm, motivation to convince Istredd before. Now he does.

And he's looking forward to that drink.

"Is there a risk of Abraxan magic unbalancing you? Or is it just your native abilities?" He was listening, despite being argumentative.

"Abraxan magic is safer but it's not instinctive. I prefer my own." Despite it being less 'safe,' it's still his. The Chaos is already inside of him, it's balanced as best as it can be. No amount of safe magic can feel the way that his does.

Being without any magic at all in the Pit was difficult, but it was the way it muted his natural state that hurt him the most. His rare use of magic down there, successfully, was his own too.

It's like ... maybe a comparison would be what feels natural to you as an archangel, compared to what you've trained in separately. Istredd doubts it is exactly the same but that is why it's a comparison. He's thinking of the power inherent in Lucifer, what he feels from him when he's embracing that element or connecting with it.

"I can use both, but the more dangerous side is the right one." Istredd isn't certain if that makes any sense. Technically it's a risk, but Chaos is air to him. Air that could be poison and suffocate him, but he'd still breathe it.

It's sensible enough as a comparison.

Have you ever gotten that far near the edge? Is there a tip-off? Something I'd be able to sense if you got too close?

It's not the Hunting Grounds itself he's worried about, but as with before, it's him thinking about future concerns.

I haven't. He knows that Yennefer has in terms of burning out her Chaos entirely, but that was what happened instead of being consumed by it. Istredd has always been in very tight control of himself. It's the passionate that have the hardest time finding that. He considers.

The most common way is imbalance, trying to conjure out of nothing. That causes necrosis, it eats you, your skin blackens and dies. It's the first lesson we learn. They use someone as an example. The Brotherhood is very unkind that way. Normally the person only damages a hand and learns the lesson though. You wouldn't be able to do anything for that. It's not something you can reason your way out of, it's a last resort, that would only happen if there was literally nothing left to do.

Someone can burn out using too much of it. You stop thinking about order and control, just the power. It is dangerous, Chaos. It wants to consume, it wants to burn. I've felt some of that before. Istredd will know what it's like when he dances to that edge, and he's always been able to walk back. I think for you it will feel like I'm on fire but I won't care. Not all of this is one hundred percent certain.

Edited 2023-05-19 02:01 (UTC)

So you channel what's in you and pull from your surroundings to support and fuel what's behind it?

He stops abruptly, turns, and watches the small, probably toxic, glowing winged-raccoon skitter across the hallway with something crinkling in her mouth. Well. It is getting late. She's likely just waking up.

I'm usually about starting fires, not putting them out. Well, actually, there was that one time with the spell in the Nott farmlands. But then this is more metaphorical-mental fires (hopefully), not actual fires.

He shakes his head and keeps walking.

So you're not going to turn into an eel.

You won't have to worry. I would never get to that point. It's a last-case scenario situation. Istredd isn't like Yennefer who has always danced on the edge of too much. Who craved power, drank in the power. Now she has learned control and when she regains her magic, she will be all the stronger for it. But to get to that point, Istredd would have to completely lose his mind.

But who knows what is possible, if the right buttons are pressed.

No, our rector or rectoress turn them into eels. I don't know if they feel pain or even know what's happening. From what Yennefer told him, probably not. It didn't sound like a struggle. He knows what their teachers are capable of. They could make anyone black out, in the kindest way possible, before turning them into magic batteries.

It would be wasted power to let them leave. That's the way they think.

He never plays around with something that 'would never happen.' That's how people die, Istredd. But Lucifer has enough of an idea about what to look for if they get into that level of Bad Day. It's all he needs, because while yes he does want to feel and see and experience Istredd really opening up his magic, he needs to know where the line is.

Well, good. What would I even do if you became an eel in the middle of some woods? I don't know, maybe magic eels can survive out of water. There's an odd, thoughtful pause from him. Not you, obviously, but if you eat a magic eel battery, do you gain their power? I mean, we can consume another angel's grace, so it's really much the same concept, I'd think.

The line will be fairly clear when they do fight together. Istredd's control can be sensed and Lucifer knows him well, he'd be able to tell if something seemed off. Instead he'll be able to let loose a little. Maybe that is what he's needed all along, an outlet for the ugly cracks inside. He needed to be open to it though.

I am going to go with ... very likely they can, yes. But the people who have access would be watched closely. It's a serious job, being the head of each of the schools. Since the men and women are separated. Then again if Stregobor could, I feel like he likely would. I don't know the spell myself. Stregobor may not see these students as enough magic for him to care about. He is a deeply selfish person, masquerading as a community leader.

Grace is what makes you an angel, right? Your essence.

So we can't turn people into eels, okay. Well. There's likely some form of transformation magic they could learn that they could use to turn people into eels, but they wouldn't be magic battery eels.

Sure Lucifer was against sushi, but if it was energizing sushi...

Eh.

That's what the Ikorr sap is for.

Mm. The celestial makeup of our existence, different levels of potency depending on your classification. It'll... recharge. On it's own. Eventually. For him. Castiel's likely to die first.

We probably could, there's likely a spell. I wouldn't put it past Thorne to know something similar and use it. On their average civilian, no doubt. But they also are not burdened by magic fading. It is very powerful here. The Brotherhood couldn't waste any magic, there weren't many of us. Enough to keep making new classes, it wasn't completely wiped out, but they weren't plentiful. It wasn't like here.

They make it to their room which is always a relief because of the level of safety and protections there are inside. Also the familiarity. Istredd feels like he can finally breathe now that he's inside there, like all breathing before that was shallow and uncertain. In a way it was. His relaxation is instant.

Despite it being probably very safe in there in terms of talking, his natural inclination remains talking on the bond instead. He kicks off his shoes immediately, hangs up his cloak, and just flops down on his bed.

It's not recharged in you now?

They just bottle up the queen loyalist castle mages. Decompress them into eels. Shove them in a tank of water and ta-da, problem solved!

(That does sound enticing to him.)

He didn't quite realize the light press of weight to his thoughts until they make it to their room and Istredd's relief is ungodly noticeable. But he did good. Off in a place he's never been before for quite a large chunk of time and no flinching or wayward spellcasting.

He huffs a laugh when Istredd asks about his grace. "No. It's... no. I've got enough where I won't double over and hack up my vessel's lungs if I use any power, but I always have to be careful about using too much." He shrugs. "I don't know. There's not a base guideline for recharge-rate. It's almost--" His thoughts take a dizzying weave and he half-shrugs again, staring at the ceiling. "It's almost been a year. Maybe it'll be a few more months, years, a decade, I don't know."

Just like he doesn't know who he'd be with his power returned, no longer reliant on certain needs, his emotions sunk back under the ethereal presence.

Istredd has always felt relieved when he came back to their room, going out and about takes energy for an introvert like him, even in better times. But now he could nearly pass out with it, it's been a strain. He probably would've fled sooner if Lucifer wasn't with him, pushing him. That is something they are both good at doing for one another.

He glances over at Lucifer as he tries to explain and he would try to prop his head up with a pillow but it's over on Lucifer's bed since they share. At least it's not underneath the bed anymore. He sits up instead, turning so his back is to the wall, similar to their first night together.

"But we want you to be recharged, right? It's better for you?" They've never had this exact conversation before, so he's not certain how it works. It seems obvious to him that recharge would be what he'd want, to be back to his full self. Istredd wants him to be healthy and happy, that's the ideal.

I don't trust, but I see right in front of me

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at least I think he's suggested it, maybe I have lolol

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We can wrap on this one THESE TWO