abraxaslogs | [july] keep me in the dollhouse, dressed up

Hey, I have other options! I could learn to cook more things, I could take up painting... There's this guy in Solvunn I've been thinking of meeting up with in the Horizon. Lots of things that aren't read medical texts in bed like an old maid.

[Nadine laughs, reaching for one of the glasses of wine. There's probably dozens of other things she could do with her time, but here she is anyway. And now Julie's here, so she's bound to have a more interesting night than she'd originally planned.]

Mmm. It's normal to them. A few weeks is nothing, as far as they're concerned. But it kind of sucks. I've...really gotten used to Jaskier being around. Or at least somewhere I can easily go see him if I want to.

[Maybe some time apart like this is good, in the long run. Codependency is never healthy, and she'd hate to fall into that. Nor can she expect to monopolize his time, she knows he gives her a great deal of it already.]

This will be the longest we've been physically distanced like this since things got serious.

You could skydive and wrestle bears too, you know that's not what I mean. [ She snorts as she takes a drink from her glass. ] I mean late, lazy bullshit to pass the time. Think about how many times you just laid on the sofa watchin' TV or scrollin' on your phone or somethin'. We had it made for that kinda shit.

[ The noise Julie makes in response to what's "normal" for Geralt and Jaskier is palpably sardonic. ]

Normal to them when neither of 'em had homes or pets or friends besides each other. Anyway, Jaskier ain't the one I'm worried about. No one wants to snatch him outta the middle of nowhere. [ Although she says it with a huff of a laugh. She's never known anyone else who failed at intentionally getting kidnapped. ] I'm just sayin', wouldn't have killed 'em to start with a week out, 'stead of almost a month. Like idiots.

[ Julie opens her cigarette case and takes out a joint, lighting it with a thought and taking a deep drag before she passes it to Nadine. Letting her head flop back into the pillows, she groans as she exhales smoke. ]

You could be gettin' dicked down and you're here? What the fuck, Nadine. Have I taught you nothin'? [ She turns her head to face Nadine, clearly not actually upset. ] Who? I can't even think of anyone there that I'd think you'd go for.

I used to watch so much stupid reality TV.

[And dumb made for TV movies. Then when streaming happened...well, like Julie said. At least there'd been plenty of things to watch when she was home doing nothing. A part of her does miss that.

Lying around alone in bed is a lot different these days.]

I know. I worry about them both. And I'm really not thrilled that they're going on an extended trip. But they'll look out for each other. And think how good it'll be to finally see them when they do get back.

[Nadine's looking forward to that. Absence makes the heart grow fonder - and the libido. Even if they both are still having sex, it won't be with each other.

Speaking of...]

I don't know, I mean probably. We...made out at the ball in the Feywilds a little. He buys weed from me. [She gives a sheepish little eyeroll.] He's...younger. Cute. Not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, but...fun. Very complimentary. I'm pretty sure he's into it.

The Bachelorette was the fuckin' best, man! And Drag Race. I would kill someone to bring Drag Race to Abraxas. Imagine that show with magic.

[ Julie sighs again, watching smoke swirl in the air over her head. It's hard to focus on something weeks away when she can't stop obsessively thinking about what could be happening now. She's impatient by nature, and the events of the past several months are just aggravating that tendency.

Also she doesn't have someone she can booty call, not really. That's a lot of extra frustration.

Her nose wrinkles. ]

Eddie? [ That's the only person Julie can think of who fits those descriptors, but that does not seem correct to her. ] Talk about left field.

[Nadine almost spits out her mouthful of wine. She shakes her head emphatically, waving her hands to hammer home the point.]

No! Holy shit, no! Not that young, I'm not a cougar! No!

[Eddie is a perfectly nice kid, but he's a kid. He's college age, and not upper year college either. Absolutely not. She has some lines, even in her glorious summer of sexual enlightenment and exploration.]

You are the absolute youngest person I am okay with sleeping with. No, his name's Klaus and he's thirty. An appropriate level of excitingly young. I just...need to give him the whole talk. Jaskier and I are very up front and clear with our other partners about our situation.

[They are, she thinks, managing an open relationship very well. And she understands not everyone wants to get involved in that, or simply don't want to share. That's fine. Those are the sort of people Nadine wants to sleep with anyway.]

[ Blinking a few times, Julie is taken aback by Nadine's vehemence. How was she to know that there's somehow a second guy in Solvunn who fits the exact same basic traits as Eddie?

Then she laughs. For a full minute or two. It's so stupid.

Catching her breath, Julie takes another drink from her glass, wiping her mouth with her hand afterward. ]

I never met the guy, geez. Not my fault he ticks a bunch of the same boxes.

[ Julie rolls onto her side, propping her head up on one hand. She's not entirely sure what kind of talk there is to have -- maybe a "don't keep coming around and singing to me" talk? It's all just a bit more formal than she would normally care to engage with. ]

What, are you gonna make him sign a waiver? Slap him with an NDA? Just send him a text and ask if he wants to fuck.

[Nadine joins her in laughing, reaching for the joint. It's silly and stupid but a part of her needs that right now. Hence the appeal of Klaus in the first place.]

Okay, technically, yes. But Eddie's cute in an I want to give him cookies and cocoa and ask how his day at school was way. Klaus is I want to put my mouth on yours cute. He has this artsy, quasi-philosopher vibe. Like when I was a teenager and I'd think of New York City and the counterculture scene, he's the kind of guy I'd picture.

[The sort of guy that, had she lived a normal life without dark magic influence, she probably would have crushed on in college. Nothing serious, he's not what she goes for as far as serious, but still. There's an appeal.]

And no, just...making it clear I'm in a committed relationship and anything between us is just fun and also...that my boyfriend will be hearing details of whatever happens. Not everybody wants to be adjacent to a couple's kink like that, or is interested in being someone's side fun, so I want to be very clear. Personal details aren't anything we've talked about, we talk about...god, really stupid stuff.

[This isn't the sort of thing Nadine would admit to many people. She knows it's ridiculous, but she hasn't let go of controlling how she's perceived. It's something she might never get over. But Julie...there are almost no walls up between her and the other woman at this point. Julie can hear all about the stupid things she does.]

Just stupid, pointless bullshit like what qualifies as a sandwich and how many of a random item a werewolf could probably fit in its mouth. And weed.

Eddie is only a few years younger than I am, don't talk about him like he's five. But then, I guess he's also sort of twenty years older than me, too. [ A stitch develops between her eyebrows. This shit gets some complicated when you're basically on the same timeline, even if from different worlds. ] He's younger than me, but also like, he's older than my dad was. Technically, he's probably older'n you.

[ The glazed look that's eking into her eyes gives away the fact that this is not her first glass of wine tonight. She busies herself with another cookie instead. ]

I feel like if you use words like "artsy" and "philosopher" and "counterculture" to describe a guy, he's probably not lookin' for anythin' super serious. [ She scrapes a layer of icing off the cookie with her teeth and sucks at them. ] What will you do if he's good with the open relationship thing, but he doesn't want you to give Jaskier every little nitty-gritty detail? 'Cause I feel like that might be the part that would throw me. Havin' basically a stranger get off on specifics. Someone I know is one thing, but someone I've met maybe once or twice is more ehhh. Maybe that's weird, that it matters for me.

[ She's just not sure if she would be able to reconcile knowing for sure that a relative stranger knows. It feels, to her, less invasive to not know. At least then, she wouldn't feel compelled to put on a particular show. ]

So you ID'd him at the masquerade? Or you two figured out afterward that you were each other?

Those few years make a difference. Besides, you're a whole lot more mature. Eddie comes off like a teenager and that just fires up my maternal instinct. Trust me, that is not what you fire up.

[Not even close. Of course Nadine still goes into Mom Mode sometimes, but she even does that with Geralt. It's just a part of who she is. And she doesn't think about the bizarre time differences, it just gives her a headache.]

No, that's not weird. That's why it's something it's important to bring up beforehand. And if he's not into it, then Jaskier doesn't get details. It's not like we always share every extracurricular encounter with each other. It's...like I said. It's a kink thing. But I so rarely find someone new to sleep with, it'd be nice to have something new to share.

[Particularly with things as they are now, and Nadine's options having dwindled from what little they'd been. And with Jaskier on the road...it would be fun, to be able to send him sexy little snippets.]

Mmhmm. Mostly. He wasn't trying very hard to hide who he was, so I was reasonably sure it was him. And I was right.

I mean, I guess that basically is what I was askin', though. Like there are some people that it's the actual tellin' that they're into, y'know? Like they wouldn't go through unless they were allowed to share. I suppose it's like, two different kinks, really.

[ Thoughtfully, she polishes off the rest of her cookie. It makes sense. Julie is very much on the opposite team, where she absolutely does not want to hear about any other person Geralt has ever touched. She's not really jealous, just viscerally repulsed by having to think about it.

She chuckles a little. ]

Geralt didn't even try. Not that I expected him to. And I did so good at foolin' him, but by the time he found me, I was already really drunk on that fairy wine. My patience was out the window already.

Oh, no, it's not like that.

[Nadine shakes her head and sinks down comfortably against the pillows, exhaling smoke at the underside of the canopy.]

It's a sometimes thing. Usually if it's someone new, or if I discover some new thing I'm into. And he just sort of shares at random back, but he sleeps with so many more people than I do. I honestly don't understand how he has the energy for it.

[It's exhausting! She would be worn out so quickly, and she thinks she has a pretty healthy libido. Thank god he's not into monogamy, she'd get nothing done. There's no way she could keep up with him.]

Mmm, as far as I'm concerned, you won the masquerade. It was amazing. And there were a lot of really good costumes, but you really went above and beyond. Speaking of costumes...turns out Jaskier looks really good in a corset.

[ Julie reaches for the joint and takes another deep drag before she answers, still looking somewhat pensive. ]

But like, how often are you just figurin' out some new kink you want to try? And with someone who isn't him? [ After a second of consideration, she adds, ] Maybe it's just that, with like, real kink shit, I don't want that to be with anyone I don't know well enough to blackmail into keepin' their yap shut.

[ And while she can't claim she has an awareness of every single possible kink out there, Julie does have a pretty wide sexual knowledge. From both experience and also from just voracious internet consumption from an extremely young age. So she has a vague idea of how she feels about most relatively common kinky things. There's a lot less to discover in general. ]

I don't know. [ A thoughtful hum. ] I could have sex like, eight or nine times a day, no problem. It's more that he's havin' sex with that many new folks. That's way more work than I'm willin' to put in if I don't have to.

Really? [ Julie seems genuinely endeared at the sentiment. ] There were so many people who turned themselves into like, stars and smoke and stuff, I felt simple once I actually got there and saw everyone. Like I shoulda done more. [ She takes another drink and lets the empty glass rest next to her. ] Hm. He looked good, but like, I just don't find that very attractive.

Well, I was unhealthily repressed for most of my life, I had my first sexual experience at thirty eight...hell, I kissed someone for real the first time when I was thirty eight. Until recently I could probably count the times I masturbated off the top of my head. So yeah, there's a lot of stuff I'm still figuring out. We also probably define 'kink' pretty different. Sexting is kinky, to me.

[Nadine's sexual education had been....unbalanced. And normally she wouldn't really talk about this, but Julie both knows her well and knows about her specific history. There's no need to be vague or dance around certain subjects.]

I know what I don't like, Harold took care of that pretty well, but he was into extreme stuff. There's areas I'm slowly exploring and a lot of it is stuff I'm okay exploring with not-Jaskier partners. None of it's stuff that requires a lot of trust or anything - you and Jaskier are the only people I'd be comfortable with heavily trust-based stuff.

[Things involving restraint or blindfolds or anything like that. Anything with increased vulnerability.]

Yes, really. Sure, a lot of people used cool illusions. You didn't do an illusion. That's a hell of a lot more impressive. I'm good at magic. I've been doing it for years, and out of books. I couldn't do anything even close to what you did and if I tried...it would probably end up some nightmare out of a Carpenter movie.

[It's a kind of magic that seems so far beyond her knowledge and ability. It's not even the sort of thing she can remember seeing done in Thorne, though she supposes it's not as if she'd have seen it anyway. Still. Julie had impressed her.]

Yeah, the whole get-up didn't really do anything for me that way, but just the corset...I don't know. See, like I said, I'm still figuring out things I like.

But you knew about kinks that people have, right? Like, there's a ton of kinky shit that I have never done, but I still feel some kinda way about it. I mean, fuck, I know about kinks that ain't even actually possible in real life. That's not the stuff they make jokes about on TV, but like, you didn't go on the internet? You didn't read fanfiction or whatever?

[ Reminder: Julie was born in 1997. She is of a generation where admitting to weird internet activities is just a normal part of life. And honestly, as much as she loves Nadine, she absolutely can see Nadine reading a lot of fanfiction. Probably mushy fanfiction about fantasy characters. Could also be into coffeeshop AUs.

Her nose wrinkles a little. ] Not to make you have PTSD flashbacks about it, but can you define "extreme" for me? Because clearly you and I have very different scales.

[ If Nadine thinks sexting is kinky, then Julie is not entirely convinced that she doesn't just mean regular anal is extreme. Anything she didn't want to do was wrong, but it definitely means Julie's perspective on the whole thing is shifted a little.

Julie shakes her head, her eyebrows arching. ]

Oh please, a lotta that was Fey potions and shit. Don't think I'm anythin' special. I even had a regular, plain ol' mask that I brought, just in case I fucked it up even worse than I thought I might. [ She had actually gone into the week unsure of whether she should even try magic. The ears, she was pretty confident with (although the ones she taught herself weren't nearly as realistic), but her face, she had been very nervous about. ] I built a lot on what the potions could do.

[ She doesn't feel as powerful as her costume might have suggested she is. Most of the time, Julie feels incredibly stupid and incapable. How can she be any good at magic? She hasn't even been doing it for two years yet. ]

Didn't you ever see Rocky Horror? That's like, the whole end of the movie. Just dudes in corsets.

I knew about some stuff. But...I really wasn't exposed to much of any of it until I was already an adult. In college at the earliest. And even then...I mean, we're talking Red Shoe Diaries on late night cable and romance novels. I saw a Playboy once, when I was a teenager.

[Nadine had come to the internet late. It hadn't been in many of the homes she'd grown up in, and even when it was, she wasn't allowed to use it beyond for school. That whole world is one she never managed to stumble into.

It may have been better if she had.]

I'm not exaggerating when I say I always tried really hard to be a 'good girl'. Which I know is a bullshit concept, but organized religion does a number on a kid. Throw in learning at twelve that you're not allowed to have sex ever until a very specific but still undefined time, and not really getting online until adulthood...yeah, no, I sometimes watched softcore porn. And then felt guilty about it.

[With the next question, she pours herself another glass of wine. No, she doesn't like this particular stretch of memory lane, but whatever. It's sharing time, apparently.]

Like...aggressive humiliation stuff. And...mmm, let's say imbalanced power dynamics. And I don't know if it was a kink thing or he just watched too much porn, but he really thought hard spanking was a lot of fun. And I don't even mind things getting rough, that's fine. It was just...I wish he'd never grown a pair and started making demands, it was so much easier when I barely had to touch him and it was done.

[It came down to control. So many things in her life did. So many times and so many circumstances where she'd had no control, or had to give it over. And at first she'd felt very in control of Harold. Until she didn't.]

It wasn't all potions. You did something really cool and impressive, Julie, just accept that. And yes, I saw Rocky Horror once, but those guys never appealed to me, so...

[ It is very clear from her blank expression that Julie is completely baffled by multiple things Nadine says. What do red shoes have to do with anything? Is it a Christian Louboutin, red bottom stiletto heels kink? Seeing one Playboy and that's a seminal event (pun unintended)?

Religion fucking with your head is one thing. Julie understands that. What she can't really wrap her mind around is a Flagg who demands not just loyalty, in the form of virginity, but also... innocence? The Flagg Julie knew, that she covetously observed, he would have wanted her to know everything to better use it against others in his service.

Or did she have to be that innocent to get so close to the witch?

Nadine keeps talking, and Julie doesn't say anything. A brief face she makes indicates that she maybe doesn't necessarily disagree with Harold (ew) on the specific subject of spanking, and she's somewhat relieved to learn that Nadine's definition of extreme is, indeed, a lot tamer than her own. It's still bad, but not the kind of bad that Julie knew lurked out in their world.

But none of that is really pertinent. The intention hadn't been to make Nadine relive it; she just wanted some clarification. She would have taken a one-word answer.

So Julie shifts in the pillows, sits up more and curls next to Nadine, lays her head on Nadine's shoulder. She takes Nadine's hand and laces their fingers together before she sighs and presses the back of Nadine's hand to her lips for a moment. ]

Love you. [ There's no real clarification as to what she means, what it's a response to. Maybe just the whole story. That sentence hangs for a second before Julie says anything else. ] Okay, so what do you like? There's like, the hotwife-ish, open relationship thing. That's one thing. Although maybe it's only hotwife if you have like, one specific secondary dude? I'm not sure. Whatever, it's in that category. Maybe corsets? But really, I kinda think you just like Jaskier, and he wore a corset. Not sure if that counts, ma'am.

[ Still clutching Nadine's hand, Julie pours a new glass of wine with her phantom hand, then takes a sip. ]

There's like, so many other things. You definitely know stuff you're into, even if you never tried it.

You too.

[Nadine is surprised by the words, enough to automatically offer an honest response. She squeezes Julie's hand, shifting to curl up to her.

She glances over, a look of perplexity on her face.]

I'm sorry, wait, what...what is 'hot wife'? Is it like MILF?

[See, she knows some things! But not whatever Julie is talking about. There are whole realms of kink and non-traditional relationships that she's entirely ignorant of. But if anyone can give her a thorough education, it's Julie.]

And you might be right that it's a Jaskier-specific thing. There's some things that I only like when he's involved. But...I do like...control stuff. At least with men. Being in control. I like it a little rough sometimes. Biting and scratching sort of stuff.

[Color comes to her cheeks, even with the alcohol and the cannabis and the relative comfortable nature of the evening. It's ridiculous, considering she's had sex with Julie. It shouldn't be embarrassing to admitting to some, probably mild, kinks.

But some habits die hard.]

[ Before Captain Trips, Julie was pretty open with her emotions. With men in particular, she was more cagey, used feelings and affection as a bargaining chip, but never with just her friends -- she told them she loved them constantly. The virus, the aftermath, Abraxas, it all changed the way she communicates. But she can still let the words surface when they need to, for the people she cares about. Jesper, Jaskier, Ciri, Nadine.

Julie blinks, then giggles. ]

No, no. A hotwife is like, a married woman, or a woman in a committed relationship, who has sex with other people, and her husband knows and thinks it's hot. But it's not like cuck stuff, 'cause it's not about the, um, humiliation part of it? Like, guys who like to get cucked, part of it is the idea that they're not good enough or big enough or somethin'. That they can't satisfy their woman. That's the actual kink. But if you take that part of it out, and it's just that he thinks it's hot if she sleeps with other people just 'cause she wants to, then it's a different kink and it's called hotwife. [ Julie screws her face up a little, thoughtfully. ] I mean, there's some overlap with the terms, I think. The whole concept is kinda blurry, it doesn't have clear-cut divisions. And swingers really like words. They have terms for everythin'.

[ She nods as she listens to Nadine try and come up with other stuff. If biting and scratching are supposed to be kinky, well then, someone give Julie her kink crown. ]

I don't even know that I'd call that rough. I mean, if his back ain't torn up the next day, then what did he even do? [ She reaches for the joint and takes another drag. ] Yeah, I can see the control thing. Soft domme vibes. Like, Mommy domme.

Oh! Okay...yeah, that's something we're into. Jaskier just really gets into me enjoying myself, even if he's not involved. That's a weird thing to call it, though. God, does this mean I'm a swinger?

[Nadine's never exactly thought of it in those terms, but...it does pretty much fit, as far as her understanding goes. She has one primary partner she's in a committed relationship with, and then casual lovers.

Whatever, it works for them and they have fun and if it hasn't gotten weird at this point, it's not going to.]

I call that a little rough. I have sex lots of time without any lasting marks. But sometimes...yeah, I want to get thrown around and sink my teeth into my partner. And yeah, I'm sure you're not surprised at the control thing. It's lots of verbal stuff, mostly, and a little light bondage sometimes.

[That's something she's still easing into.]

And I mean...obviously things with Flagg would get intense and weird sometimes, but not always in a bad way...

[Much as there are many things Nadine is glad to be rid of in regards to her dark magic husband, the sex had been, overall, very good.]

[ Julie cracks up again at the way Nadine seems so dismayed by the label. It's just very funny to her. ] No, I think the whole thing just kinda falls under... like, ethical non-monogamy. I think that was the latest name for it. That's the whole umbrella, and swinging specifically is more of like, an active thing, maybe? Swinging is like, key parties and sex clubs and stuff -- you go with your partner, with the actual goal of findin' other people to fuck. [ Still squinting a little, Julie takes a gulp of wine and shakes her head a bit. ] I'm not pretendin' to be an expert on like, the organized aspects of it all. This is just what I picked up from other people. But I think the main thing is that everythin' is consensual and agreed on by everyone involved.

[ Julie has never honestly agreed to be exclusive with anyone before, so she's not entirely sure how it all works when people have these discussions. Every time she has been in an "exclusive" relationship, she has still simply done as she wanted -- if the guy wanted to get mad about cheating, that was his own problem. Added with her pattern of dating only easily manipulated people, she was pretty much afforded free license to fuck whoever she saw fit. What were they going to do? For much of her life, Julie was the hottest, wildest, feistiest girl within a hundred miles. There was no man who could pin her down, and she was an expert at making them be grateful that she merely remembered their name.

She scoffs. No matter how bad or weird anything else associated with Flagg could possibly be, Julie would not in a million years ever believe that he was anything less than phenomenal in bed. He was an immortal, hedonistic psychopath. Those are all factors that add up to incredible sex. ]

Okay, look, I never asked about this before, but I need you to clear the air now, 'cause it's been almost two years and it's been makin' me crazy the whole time. [ She seems almost exasperated. The question has been plaguing her. ] What the fuck did you mean when you said his dick was "bigger than human"? 'Cause, like, he was still man shaped! Those jeans were tight as shit, he did not have like a full-blown tree trunk or somethin' growin' off him.

[ With another sip of wine, she arches her eyebrows. ] Lloyd woulda never shut up about it if he did.

I had no idea the world of swinging and alternative relationships was so vast.

[Nadine can honestly say she's never given it much thought. But she likes the phrase 'ethical non-monogamy'. It suits what she and Jaskier do quite well. She's going to have so many things to share with him the next time they talk.

Her expression turns almost thoughtful when Julie moves on to her question. It's not entirely unexpected. She can imagine the other woman's thought about what she'd said that once, almost in passing.]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure Lloyd only saw him when he looked human. It only happened once, the first time. Which started out...well, not normal, because he was using an illusion or something so it didn't look or feel like we were in the desert. But in the middle of things he...changed. And the illusion wasn't holding well. He wasn't shaped like a human anymore. I mean, he was, basically, but...

[Nadine shakes her head and downs the rest of her wine in one go. She doesn't even know how to describe what had suddenly been stretched out over her. Something like a corpse, but red eyed and she swears it had looked like his skin was cracked and peeling off of him...

But none of those details need to be relayed.]

It was fucked up, and it hurt, and he felt cold...but it obviously didn't leave any lasting damage or anything, so I don't know. Magic, I guess.

Oh, that's barely even touchin' the surface. BDSM is like, the only thing I can think of that gets even more detailed.

[ In Julie's defense, it's a haunting thought with too many possibilities. How big? What was it shaped like? Fucked up how? It's like getting kicked out before the biggest twist in the movie. She wants to know the twist!

For a moment, Julie is quiet. Her eyes tick thoughtfully from corner to corner, rolled up toward the ceiling. Like she is processing in real time. Finally, she speaks, slowly. ]

Okay, but like... how big? [ For whatever reason, this seems to be where she's stuck. Helpfully, she raises her arm in front of her, bent at the elbow, a vertical line. Her fist is balled. ] Like, to the elbow? 'Cause I have definitely seen a video of that, and it's possible.

[ She is way too serious about it.

Sorry, Nadine. ]

Oh my God, I...have no idea, it was already inside me when this happened. I didn't see it, I just...felt it. And it felt like something freezing cold and big was tearing me apart. I have no idea what the scale is for true-form demon dicks or how magic demon sex works. It...it was a really weird wedding night.

[And she'd never once asked him about it, when she had the chance. She hadn't wanted to. Flagg had never done that again, in the handful of months they'd been together. Thankfully.

But it's something she'll never forget. How does anybody forget that? Really, she should have realized then and there. Love and magic do weird things to a person.]

Every other time he was normal, the Flagg you and everybody always saw. And it was good. Big but normal human big.

[ Julie really wants to keep pushing. She is nothing if not relentless. Ideally, she would walk away from this exchange with a pencil sketch. She died for that man-thing, she deserves to know exactly what his dick is really like. Julie feels she has earned that right.

But she loves Nadine more than her own sense of entitlement (just barely), so she lets it go. Mostly. ]

I'm just sayin', you can pretty much say you've been fisted. That's cool. That kinda shit can make a lot of money. Plus, most people haven't had sex with demons. Double cool. President of the hardcore club.

[ And then she reaches for another cookie. Taking a bite, she sinks back into the pillows and crosses her legs. ]

So then what about stuff you haven't tried, but you would?

I don't know if I want to ever say that. [Nadine laughs.] That's part of my story that only you know, and only you will ever know.

[God, she has such weird sexual baggage. Whatever, it's all in the past. That whole fucked up and lengthy chapter of her life is done. Things are better now. Even including the occasional accidental demon.]

Mmm, I don't know. I thought a lot about orgies, only because there was a time I was pretty sure that would be a part of my future. Still not sure where I land on that. I think...I'd probably try a lot of stuff, that didn't get too far into violent or was...gross.

[It's like being in the hallway of some vast mansion full of different rooms. She has explored very little, and isn't entirely sure what could be behind all of those closed doors. But she's curious. There's so much she has yet to experience, yet to even think about.]

I like learning things, and it's not any different when it comes to sex.

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