abraxaslogs | • OPEN •

[from the open window in her room, wanda's horizon spreads out in a blanket of autumn colors, the fog clouding up any signs of the sun, but making it so it's nice and chilly outside. wanda misses winter, and wishes it would snow in solvunn; for now, she looks forward to that change in the seasons in her horizon. this might also be the last time she looks at her horizon, properly, from this vantage point.

taking a few steps back into the room and towards her bed, feet bare and herself cozy, there is a raven perched on her wrist; its feathers shine between blues and grays, it's glossy finish a dark black. this is the same raven that had guided hilda to the house, earlier, but had its trip interrupted halfway as wanda herself went to meet the pink-haired woman.]

I think this might be the last raven I have without a name.

[six of its brothers and sisters have been named already, but this one had been without a name the longest. a little lost, waiting for someone to make it whole.

sitting down on the corner of the bed, wanda offers her hand over towards hilda. even with the window open letting the cool autumn air in, the fireplace in the corner keeps the room warm, the fire breaking and cracking at the logs. on the bed, mary leans cozily against hilda, having quickly grown acquainted with the new person in the domain; while matt's own domain is in shambles, mary gets to find wanda's space her home.]

It's yours to name, Hilda.

Edited 2023-11-04 20:56 (UTC)

[ Hilda hasn’t forgotten the omitted truths of their experiences with those creatures that they had both been reluctant to share with one another that day in Nocwich. It worries her of course and ever present, much like a sliver that she can see just beneath the surface of her skin but can’t pick out for fear of forgetting that worry. But she reminds herself that Wanda knows she can confide in her should she want to. And until that time comes, she cherishes the time they do have together.

There are other things to discuss today anyway. Light-hearted things, if not mildly (read: very) confusing things. What matters is that all of those topics do not include near-death experiences and whatever shadow plagued Wanda’s mind.

Not being as familiar with modern clothing as Wanda, Hilda had taken the full opportunity to raid her closet in her cozy cabin. She’s dressed similarly to Wanda — a large chunky knit sweater in a shade of pale pink and white shorts soft to the touch. A bold choice considering the crisp weather in Wanda’s domain but one she commits to because of Mary curled into her side and the warmth from the fireplace.

She looks up in surprise, quickly placing the large mug she’d had cupped in her hands to the side. ]

Me? Really?

[ Without hesitation she holds out a hand to the raven that she recognizes as the one that had greeted her upon her arrival. It hops onto her wrist obediently, intelligent eyes seeming to spark with recognition and hopefulness as if to say, ”Will you be the one to name me?” ]

That’s a little daunting. [ It’s a joke. Mostly. It’s more touching than anything else that Wanda is giving her this honour at all and it shows in her eyes. A finger goes to stroke the back of its neck and she can feel it lean into her touch. ] What are the names of the others?

They're the ones who pick out who they want.

[let it not be said that wanda, for whatever reason, has favoritism or a choice in the matter. as hilda moves, the dog just rolls onto her back properly and stretches out; nothing will convince mary that she isn't the owner of this bed or the one main character of this little meeting here.

at the question regarding the names, wanda makes a face.]

They're not going to be very helpful, if you're thinking there's a theme.

[she lists them out, though, counting them on her fingers. milo, foggy, staccato, argus, ferrari—the last one being the brand for a car, she remarks. then waves her hand about, because explaining what a car is goes beyond what wanda can properly explain.]

Unsurprisingly, they were all named by men.

[clearly an explanation for some of those names. or the lack of theme, entirely.]

You're the first one to ask the names of the others.

[ It doesn't need to be said; the domains are an extension of those that make it. As much as Hilda has tried to be faithful to the memory of Waffle and the wyvern's mannerisms, it would be a lie to say that she didn't control some of his behaviour here; she assumes it must be the same for Wanda's ravens. But that doesn't diminish what this means - not in the least.

Molly's languid stretch ends up with her paws butting up against Hilda's back and it's me with an affection scratch before she returns to stroking the raven perched on her wrist.

The names are met with a mix of reactions, ranging from bemusement to confusion. Wanda's last statement though is met with a pulled face, cheeky and playful in its nature. ]

Of course they were named by men - anyone I know?

[ Just in case she relentlessly tease them of course.

Quickly the expression dissipates. ]

I just wanted to be sure just in case there was a theme. Which I guess means I can name them anything.

[wanda isn't sure who hilda is familiar with, who she may have met, other than matt. suppose their lives aren't so intrinsically tied when all they have is the horizon space and a weekend in nocwich—and whatever sprinkling of an invitation to a place where they can all meet up.]

It wouldn't matter even if there was a theme. [drawing towards the other side of the bed, wanda lies down on her back, socked feet flat on the mattress, as she turns her head to the other woman.] The ravens are their own fulfilled selves depending on the person who names them.

[it's a little funny how much naming animals has become a sort of motif between them.]

You can take a moment to think about it. The Doctor owes me a name, in any case.

Okay it might not matter, but it is kind of cute to say that they're all named with a certain motif, don't you think?

[ She has proof that others think the same too. Viktor, for one, had been adamant to name his lizard something that sounded like Veliki and Mali's names.]

You mean each of them has a little personality of their own?

[ As her nameless raven blinks back at her, her mind goes to Mogwry immediately and all the different moogles that she had met in Reno's domain. it wouldn't be a stretch to think that that was the case here too. Faintly she hopes this raven isn't also an asshole. Eventually she gives the raven a little kiss on the beak deciding that she will take her time to name it. Placing the raven on the bedpost to perch she lays on the other side of Molly and turns to look at Wanda. ]

You know the Doctor too? [ She seems amused as she slides her arm under the pillow although it's accompanied with a small wince. ] I accidentally kneed him in the nose. He was trying to leave me a little present and it didn't pan out the way he hoped.

[the kiss on the beak will probably affect the raven’s personality a lot more than the name, all things considered, but if it takes after hilda in any way—well, all sugar and every other sweet thing, right?]

He’s parked his TARDIS out in the garden, actually. How did that even happen? [kneeing him—? wanda pauses, then rolls to turn onto her side.] He seems like the type to get himself in trouble.

[gangly and tall, but acting like a total gremlin. suppose they are going to be talking about guys?]

His what? Oh, you mean the big blue box?

[ She had wondered what it was as she had passed by it but hadn't thought that it would be anyone's other than Wanda's. She didn't think it would be based on the rest of the decoration choices she had made for her space - but who was she to judge her friend's tastes? Hearing that it belongs to the Doctor makes sense. It's a lot like him - strange, eccentric, sticks out like a bit of a sore thumb (thought affectionately of course).

Now that there's been some time between the very embarrassing incident, she can laugh about it. ]

I couldn't even tell you. He was kneeling down as I was coming out of the room in the Nether. But if I didn't know that we were talking about him, I would have thought we were talking about any of the boys we know.

[ They're totally talking about boys. ]

Speaking of which - [ Her eyes light up teasingly. ] how are you and Matt?

[ The man's name is drawn out and sing-songy. ]

[sounds like the kind of trouble the doctor would get into, that's right. it's a little baffling that he doesn't have a name, though, like he's just doctor? but, then again, he doesn't seem very normal in many ways.

wanda rubs at the creases of her brow with a finger.]

Matt's not doing too well.

[his lose of sight—completely, now—and the lived experiences from his life returned to him in a dream, of matters that are too real to be able to ignore, considering the physical changes.]

He got an 'update' [she does air quotes at that] from his life in a dream. Someone he loved died, but he survived— [now, a wave of her hand, bringing both to rest atop her tummy.] I managed to get him to talk to me properly just yesterday.

[they're alright — it's just a lot for him.]

I'm thinking of merging our domains into one.

[ Whatever teasing expression that had been on Hilda's face from before immediately slides off replaced with a furrowed brow. She reaches for Wanda's hand, threading her fingers through hers. It hadn't even occurred to her that updates - if that was the appropriate word for them - could happen. She had assumed they were stuck in whatever time they had come from. ]

I guess that's why Mary is here?

[ Another thing she hadn't really asked too much about. Waffle often flew between Garreg Mach, her domain and Claude's on his own accord. ]

I think a joint domain with him would be so sweet. Not to mention that it would be another way for the two of you to remain close while not being together. [ The levity in her voice comes and goes as she nestles a little closer to Wanda. ] I know he's a grown man but...we can check in on him more often if that would help ease some of your worries too.

Edited 2023-11-27 18:18 (UTC)

Mary’s here since I destroyed his, some time ago.

[during that time the beasts were circulating in the world thanks to the rifts. it’s not something she’s particularly ashamed of, though she hates not knowing the particularities of it all—hates knowing how difficult it is for him to keep the ‘structure’ of the place looking decent and realistic for those who, unlike him, are not blind.

and she swept all that away within a moment of not being herself.

wanda turns her head, smiling at hilda, squeezing lightly at her friend’s hand.]

Maybe a little less that, more just wanting to hang out with him? I don’t want him to think I have people checking in on him. [it’s always been a bit of a thing, his wanting to be his old introverted self while wanda pushed him to go out a little more. she doesn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend.] But— what about you? With Claude?

[that’s the last thing she knows… updates might be necessary.]

[ There's no hiding the questioning eyebrow that Hilda raises when Wanda brings up destroying Matt's domain. It's not an inherently difficult thing to do, she imagines, if the rift beasts were any indication. They had flattened her little meadow in no time at all. Even if she hadn't done much to it, everything here was malleable and ephemeral. Magic and imagination. And even with that, there was an unspoken respect amongst the Summoned (or at least she thought so) that kept everyone mostly in line, not altering or changing anything that wasn't theirs to begin with.

So to hear that Wanda had destroyed it in what Hilda assumed was an accident was troubling to say the least. Wanda doesn't seem to want to dwell on it, doesn't offer anymore information aside from that and is quick to move on. The shadow of worry doesn't disappear, but she nods, the smile not moving from her face. ]

We can hang out with him. Hopefully he's okay with me being a chatterbox though.

[ Their little Nocwich get together should have proven that.
It's only fair that the topic turns from Matt and Wanda to her and Claude. There's still so much unknown there. With them. With he and Sylvain. With her and Sylvain. But if there's one thing for certain... ]

We...talked a little about everything that happened.

[ She can't help but flush at the thought and her lips twitch, as if they're hesitant to smile because of everything else that made this complicated instead of easy. Hilda manages to wrangle it into place but the sheepishness still shines in her voice. ]

We both care about each other. Or rather, we both have feelings for each other. We have for a long time.

[it seems like they are engaging fully into gossip-mode. wanda's never really had someone, before, to talk with about things like this, but she feels certain and sure about it with hilda—about how maybe this is meant to be normal.

which is why she sits up (mostly to stretch out her back) and looks down at the other woman, follow-up questions clearly formulating.]

Doesn't that complicate things a bit, then?

[what with sylvain and claude...? unless—]

—how does Sylvain fit in all of this?

[ Wanda's question about Sylvain and complications weighs like an anchor on the corners of her lips, quashing the sheepishness in its wake. She can't bring herself to look up at Wanda for fear that it would produce tears. Absently she picks at the blanket between them. ]

I don't know.

[ If she sounds a little helpless, it's because she is. She had never let herself want for a grand love story, but at the very least she had hoped it would be easy. This was neither grand or easy. ]

I can't speak for Claude but I know he isn't going to step away from whatever it is he has with Sylvain. [ She swallows, the jealous creature gnashing its teeth. ] I can't tell him to either because I want him - them - to be happy. They deserve it more.

I'm going to pretend you didn't say that they deserve it more than you.

[because that's just not how happiness works, borrowed or otherwise. karma doesn't work like that. the universe drops fortune and misfortune on their laps willy nilly, and wanda has to believe that it isn't ever targeted.]

Is Claude asking you to forget about your feelings for him, then?

[ Wanda's voice hadn't been unkind but it makes her shrink all the same in shame.

For what isn't the first time she wonders when she became so gloomy about where her path would take her when she hadn't given it much thought before. Things always just worked out for her without little effort on her part. Maybe a part of her hoped that this would sort itself out too. ]

No. [ The beginnings of a lump forms in her throat out. Hilda's selfish wants crawl at her throat straining at the leash she had put them on. Shame begins to creep at the back of her neck. ] He's letting me decide what I want. I've just asked for time to figure out how I feel about it all.

[ Her eyes skip up towards Wanda, lips lifting humourlessly. ]

I can't say that I've made much progress.

[that's hardly much help, if wanda has to be honest. still, she isn't an expert about matters of the heart because she herself can be rather envious and selfish about it, and she's never—well—been in the situation that hilda has been in. always quite monogamous, her relationships, and never with a threat of someone else being in the picture.

not quite in this way.

it's not quite like her, but hilda has earned her trust; has earned seeing wanda like this, and this friendship is so unlike any of the ones the avengers had bestowed her with. she moves to lie down with hilda, slightly atop the shorter woman, wrapping her up in an embrace.]

You're allowed to want anything you desire. I'm sorry that you feel that you're the one getting in the way.

[it cannot be easy.]

You're not.

[ When Wanda's warmth wraps itself around her, Hilda curls into her instinctively. It continues to chip away at the front she's been putting up that she's been fine about this whole time. That, despite having made up with her best friend, discovering that feelings were returned, still didn't help heal the hurt that had sunk deep into her bones over the last several months.

Wanda's words and comfort aren't some magic spell that will change her greedy, conflicted heart. But they do help soothe it some. Reassure her that in some way her greed is okay even if it goes against everything she's tried to form herself into. Her arms go to wrap around her friend to draw closer, Wanda's faint floral scent enveloping her. ]

I feel like I am. [ And then quietly, almost ashamed - ] I think I like Sylvain too. But he's... [ Dead in their timeline. ] He and Claude can't ever be together in our timeline. Shouldn't it make more sense for them to be together here?

Would it not make sense for you to also be together with either or both here, then, by that logic?

[the future, the world— it is full of uncertainties, and just because someone doesn't have a future outside of here doesn't mean that it gives them a pass or to have priority over something as complex and delicate as a relationship.

she reflects upon her own circumstances.]

Matt and I have decided to be together not because of the uncertainty of what will happen in our world, or if we should ever meet. We want to be together because of the promise of a future together.

[and that's, irrevocably, also perfectly fine as far as relationships go.

wanda rubs at hilda's back, gentle to not tangle her long, pink hair.]

Matters of the heart don't generally make sense, you know.

[ What Wanda says is right. Truthfully it's been something that she's asked herself too. Why not just be with them both? Why not just see what could happen? Hilda lapses into a contemplative silence but the answer to Wanda's question comes almost instantly.

Because it was easier said than done.

Maybe if she had remained blissfully ignorant and ignored the rift she felt between her and Claude she would have had an easier time slipping into this scenario she found herself in. Maybe if she hadn't been sucked into an undercurrent of gloom and insecurity, she would have had an easier time adjusting. Instead Abraxas had undone her and pulled the soft gossamer that she had worn for so long to reveal the jealousy and greed beneath it.

She burrows herself deeper into Wanda's embrace with a watery laugh. ]

I wish they were easier. Then I wouldn't have felt like this for months. [ The next words spill from her lips despite herself. ] I just don't think I'm the best fit for either of them. They're both better together than with me. I haven't done anything but hurt them.

Edited 2024-01-03 07:59 (UTC)

• OPEN •

—HORIZON • HILDA

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