[open] july catchall

[techmaturgy]

Who: Viktor and special guests and you
When: throughout July & August
Where: Cadens, the Horizon, Nocwich
What: ah oh no we were indirectly responsible for bombing the castle
Warnings: war crimes

[open and closed starters in comments! If you want a custom starter or something specific, just hit me up. full horizon details are here for any and all wildcarding needs. For everything else, I’m on plurk at whitticus and on discord also at whitticus.]

Comments

[carmesi]

( many people tell him this, and yet he seems to find himself lacking in remembering that it's worth a shot. still, wanda waits, quietly, taking calculating, quick glances about herself, at the notes and schematics, them hardly making any sense to her.

and yet it clicks when he speaks, somehow, of the bombing. wanda feels the guilt in his words, keeps a polite distance from prodding into his thoughts to dig out the truth.

she leans back, crossing her legs, hands resting atop her knee. )

I wouldn't go as far to say it was your fault.

( the circumstances of what has come to pass, between thorne and the cities, are somewhat expected. the kingdom pushed a disease towards the desert, and the military retaliated; this same song and dance from before, just that the steps are reversed. )

...but that hardly eases the guilt, I know.

[techmaturgy]

[Well, at least he doesn't have to spell it out for her. Everyone is telling him that it isn't his fault, but it's hard not to feel that way, even if the alternative was to not build the Hexcore, and succumb to his illness. Still, he can't help but think he could have safeguarded it better. He could have found another way.]

It was my fault. I built the device, and it didn't matter that I destroyed it. They stole what they could.

[He should consider himself lucky it took them this long to crack it. Doesn't make him feel any better about the situation.]

I knew this would happen.

[carmesi]

( there was a time when she had done what she thought was necessary, to save others, in her role as an avenger, and yet it was her actions—her inability to do better—that scorched the lives of many and started the untangling of a group that was already fraught with differing ideas.

it's hard to not see oneself as a monster, no matter how much reassurances there are about never intending to cause what has resulted in pain and loss. )

Even if you did know, you didn't guide their actions. If not your device, they would have found another way; another device to use, another Summoned's ideas, but all for the same result.

( despite her words, wanda knows this isn't exactly helpful. )

Who else knows?

[techmaturgy]

I chose to do it, knowing the dangers. [He conveniently leaves out the part where he only realized the Hexcore to save his own life.] I need to do what I can to mitigate the damage.

[Even if it's already been done. He can stop them from doing worse, if he plays his cards right. Viktor just has no idea how to do that. Everyone tells him he isn't responsible, but it certainly feels that way. Maybe they would have found another device, but Viktor is keenly aware of how revolutionary the Hexcore was. There's no limit to what they can build, provided they know how it works.

He hasn't told as many people as he'd like to--part of him thinks he should come clean to the whole group of them, but it's been recommended to him by certain parties that he should remain discreet.]

Alucard. You. Some contacts in Thorne who deserved to know.

[carmesi]

( that's a plan of action that wanda can get behind. it's not the best, considering the circumstances, but what done is done. she stands up, moves closer towards viktor.

every drop in the glass is another reason to excuse the war that the territories have been seeking to start. she frowns, crossing her arms. )

If my opinion means anything, I don't think you should many others know about how you're involved in this. ( the summoned are a 'team', unofficially, but they can also think very differently from one another. ) Is Kyle aware of it?

( —yeah, she knows, and she knows that kyle knows that she knows. would it be wrong for wanda to assume that he's mentioned as much to viktor since? )

[techmaturgy]

[It doesn't feel right, for Viktor to keep it a secret--but practically, and for his own safety, he knows he has to. The Summoned are all in this together, but htey don't always agree, and some might even decide that it's worth telling Thornean officials who was responsible.

So despite his own guilt, he has to stay quiet, and he nods in agreement.]

I told Kyle, yes.

[But there's confusion in his voice, like he doesn't understand why that's relevant--because Kyle has not, in fact, mentioned this to him.]

Why?

[carmesi]

( oh.

the silence permeates after his confused question which very gently requests that she elaborates why she would even bring up kyle at all. with a light huff, wanda offers, in something of a whisper—as if regretting not having a better read of the situation: )

He unconsciously let it slip—about you two.

( she raises a hand, a little concerned, this worry that she feels completely separately from the anxieties they all share about the more recent events in abraxas at large. wanda hates the idea that viktor might be upset about this, so she wants to—hopes—that it can be cleared up as painlessly as possible. )

I thought he might have mentioned it. Sorry, I didn't... mean to intrude.

( walking into his office uninvited? that's fine. stepping unbidden into emotional territory? she doesn't want to be that kind of nosy neighbor. )

[techmaturgy]

Oh.

[Viktor is not necessarily upset at Kyle, for letting it slip, nor did he expect to keep this a secret forever. It's just something he's still dealing with on his own terms, and isn't sure he can explain to anyone else, just yet. Especially not people who knew Jayce--who were invested in him and Jayce, and might think him unfaithful or otherwise dismissive, moving on at the first chance.

But that's not fair to Kyle, and he can't expect the other man to not say anything. He should approach this relationship on his own terms, too. If that means confiding in someone he considers a friend, Viktor can't begrudge him.]

I'm not--don't apologize.

[Viktor looks flustered, not sure whether to be ashamed or not.]

It's new. That's why I haven't said anything.

[carmesi]

( it's dreadful, those couple of long seconds before he finally tells her not to apologize. only then does wanda feel comfortable enough to lower her hand, grasp it tightly with her other hand; what a frail feeling, to think she'd messed up. )

No, that's understandable.

( she, too, had been quiet about her relationship with matt when it had first started. viktor doesn't know this, but she, too, felt anxious about what others would think—those who knew of her deep connection and love to vision.

wringing her fingers, wanda looks down, then up again at him. )

We can talk about something else if you prefer, but — I just want to say, that I'm happy for you.

[techmaturgy]

[She says it's understandable, but Viktor still feels some regret--both for failing to say anything about Kyle to anyone, and for moving on, ostensibly, from Jayce. The more logical part of him knows that this guilt is more about the bombing of the castle than his relationship with Kyle, but it compounds all the same.]

I loved Jayce. [He catches himself speaking in the past tense.] I still--

[He knows he doesn't need to justify himself to anyone. These are his choices, and he shouldn't have to defend them. But even though Wanda is uniquely positioned to understand his situation, and his pain, he can't quite finish the sentence.]

I needed something else. [He didn't know he could have something else, is what he really means.] And. I like him.

[carmesi]

( viktor is the one who breaches the subject first, and all wanda can offer, initially, as a friend, is to listen. )

I know you do.

( present tense, do a silent shielding from having to use the word 'love'. she still very much loves vision, but just because of that, just because she committed such horrible things in the name of that love she holds for him, would it be fair to herself—to matt—if she decided it just wasn't in the cards for her anymore?

the heart can break and hurt and renew itself all over again. )

I was involved with someone else before coming here, but he is no longer — alive. Matt was there when I needed someone. When I needed to love when I thought I wasn't worthy of it. ( then, a light smile. ) I worried so much about what those from my world would say, having known about Vision, but... they actually were really happy for me.

—you have every right, Viktor. Especially if you like him.

[techmaturgy]

[Viktor knows about Vision, both from Wanda and Tony--two very different perspectives on one man, such as he was. He can't claim to fully understand her loss, but it does often feel that his version of Jayce is so unreachable as to be dead. Maybe he will see some version of Jayce again, but things are different now, and he isn't certain he will allow himself to experience this hurt a second time.

Kyle is refreshing. They're both more clear-eyed about the fact that either of them might disappear at any moment. Still, his overall goal hasn't changed.]

If I can find a way back to him, I will. I still believe we need to solve the Summoning ritual.

[For the benefit of everyone, not just him.]

For now, though, this is...it's nice.

[Not to be alone.]