hairington: (U9X6wgZ)
steve harrington. ([personal profile] hairington) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs2024-07-28 11:19 am

[ open ]

Who: steve and you
When: july-august
Where: nocwich, horizon, solvunn, etc.
What: steve is forcing himself back into some form of life/routine, at least he hopes so
Warnings: n/a
satanicpanics: (pic#15855539)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-09-24 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
You’d be shocked, but there’s not a whole lot of partying going on at the dive-iest of the dive bars, Steve.

[ Those places were usually more sad than anything, but a venue was a venue and Eddie is quick to leave the argument there, turning his focus toward racking his brain for ideas instead. When he turn back to share them, he’s aware they aren’t his most creative, but he feels like he’s offered a variety of options, and—

Shit. Shit, shit, shit—

Before, it could have been written off as a fluke, but now Steve crowds into his space and it seems very purposeful. Eddie would know. Invading peoples’ space is his thing, and more often than not, it’s just to be strange and off-putting. But this isn’t strange or off-putting. It’s…kind of charming and it all shakes Eddie to his very core.

Ironically, outside of the feeling of fear, it really does take a lot to properly rattle Eddie. He was never thrown off by the disinterested, lukewarm crowds he performed to back in Hawkins. Not one of the daily insults or judgmental looks ever made him stumble. But now—he feels really rattled now. Not enough to run, but enough to make his eyes widen and his head swim, and—shit, there it is again. The way his heart skips a beat and then leaps right into his throat, so quickly and with such force that he’s afraid it’s going to leap out of his chest and onto the dingy Family Video carpet.

It’s a bizarre feeling, and one seems to be growing more and more acquainted with. He’s kind of afraid to put a name to it, but he finds himself thinking that, yeah, maybe Clarisse kind of did kind of have a point...and, shit, he absolutely doesn’t know what to do with that.

You trust me, right? Luckily, that snaps him out of it--sort of. He’s still very aware of Steve’s hand on his wrist, but he manages to blinks back to some semblance of reality.
]

Uh—Honestly?

[ Only with all that remains of my young life, dude is what he would like to say. But god, that seems like too much. Entirely too much, so Eddie reels it all in and does what he usually does. He puts on a show of pretending like he needs to think about it, like he’s weighing every possible option—and in the end, he just grins like he can’t carry his own joke all the way through to the punchline. ]

I’m almost offended you even need to ask. But, uh…obviously.
satanicpanics: (pic#15737640)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-09-25 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
[ Well, to be totally fair, he’s not thinking about Dustin anymore. Well, he is, but the worry that’s been plaguing him all day isn’t really at the forefront of his mind anymore. He’s been thoroughly distracted, and it’s strange, the way the rest of the world just kind of melts away for a moment—a moment that feels like an eternity, mind you.

And Steve just doesn’t let go of his wrist. Not until he absolutely has to—when he’s dragged Eddie out the door and slides across the BMW’s top just to get to the drivers seat. Eddie rolls his eyes, but it’s hard not to smile. It’s hard not to chuckle. And, shit, it’s even harder not to be totally charmed.
]

Jesus Christ. Okay, okay, okay. Okay

[ He mumbles beneath his breath—hopefully out of earshot if he’s lucky, but nothing about Eddie Munson is subtle, and it’s easy to catch the way he pauses to shake out his hands in an attempt to relieve some of his nerves before approaching the passenger seat. Does he know what this is or where any of it is going? Absolutely not. But he’s still interested in seeing it through.

Stop overthinking, he commands himself. Just stop. Because overthinking is how he ends up spiraling and questioning everything. Overthinking is how he gets scared. And sure, he's nerves are jangled as hell, but he’s not quite petrified yet. So he takes the plunge, takes a deep breath and ducks into the passenger seat.
]

That trick normally get you a lot of compliments, Steve?

[ It’s not cruel, not mocking, just light and amused, all mixed up in a tone of fondness and a smile. With his stomach and heart doing cartwheels over one another, he truly feel like he’s dying all over again, but he doesn’t need to show it.

(He is actually impressed, though. That trick doesn’t work on a van unless you want a broken arm and a head injury).

The drive is…it’s normal. Eddie chooses the music without asking and refuses to sit still, fingers tapping along with the music—as always. But this time, rather than staring out the window at the strange scenery that passes, he finds that his gaze keeps drifting to Steve, almost drawn like a magnet, and it doesn’t stop until they reach the Roadhouse. A familiar enough place.
]

Did I?

[ He knows he did, and he probably needs a drink at this point. Just something to soften his nerves a bit. ]

Yeah, I guess I did. Once or twice.
satanicpanics: (pic#17314898)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-10-07 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
[ Okay, he gets it now—why everyone and their mom was kind of obsessed with Steve Harrington back home. Truth be told, maybe he’s gotten it for awhile now, but he really gets it now. ]

Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.

[ Spoken with a grin and a tone that implies that, yeah, he would like to give out a compliment, but he’s going to be stubborn and hold onto it for a bit.

He doesn’t intend to be caught looking, but he doesn’t bother to pretend like he isn’t either. Half a dozen times he considers just outright asking—What is this? Put a word to it. I dare you. But he stops himself every time. In a situation like this, maybe it’s just better not to know. That way, at least there are no expectations to make or break, and Eddie’s nerves remain only moderately jangled rather than severely jangled.

Eddie does follow, watches as Steve makes his bar like he owns the place before beginning to drift toward the jukebox with faux nonchalance. Like it’s not his intended location when it so very clearly is.

This was one of the first places Eddie ever found himself in the Horizon—stood like a statue right here in front of this jukebox for at least an hour, hoarding it from the other visitors and absorbing to every new-to-him Metallica song he could find. There’s probably plenty more that’s worth his time, but as he scrolls idly through the jukebox’s offerings, he’s not really looking for anything in particular. Maybe this is just a quick stop. Maybe they won’t be here for long, but that doesn’t mean he can’t peruse.
]

Uhh—

[ He mumbles out loud in response to Steve, momentarily distracted by the jukebox. Because he spots Journey on that list and for half a second, he considers it. God, why is he considering it? He is absolutely not giving Clarisse any opportunity to be painfully smug. He grimaces at himself and quickly chooses something a little more his speed—something a little more guitar-driven and a lot less…crooning lead singer-driven. Pleased enough with his choice, he pushes away from the jukebox. ]

Now, I don’t know about you, but I say we dream a little bigger and take both.

[ He leans against the bar and tilts his head, watching Steve open cabinets with a familiarity that goes beyond that of a casual visitor. Even Eddie, who actually worked in a shitty dive bar back in Hawkins, wouldn’t dare to assume he knows what’s what back there. ]

When have you been here before?
satanicpanics: (pic#16082481)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-10-20 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie is easily distracted, that much is true, but even he knows there’s no way he’s about to get too absorbed with the jukebox right now. Music is basically a cure-all for any and every ill—almost. It seems like it can really only do so much to cure the way Eddie’s stupid stomach still doing stupid backflips

It keeps his hands and mind busy for a moment, though; a little reprieve before he has to take a deep breath and turn back to try to keep his focus on the topic of which alcohol is best to bring along on this mystery venture.
]

As you wish, my liege.

[ Eddie grins and dips into a mock bow, but he does as he he’s told, gathers up the remaining bottles without a complaint and follows after Steve. It occurs to him that the only part of this place he really knows is the jukebox, because he’s fairly certain he never even saw those doors before. But that’s fine. As long as Steve knows where he’s going, which seems very likely. ]

Yeah, well, next time you’re here, feel free to tell him there is not nearly enough Judas Priest on that jukebox.

[ It’s not exactly a real request. Eddie can absolutely critique Dean’s jukebox offerings on his own, but he’s really just looking for an excuse not to stop talking. So far, he’s doing a decent job of keeping his jitters at bay, but the music grows fainter as they put distance between themselves and the jukebox, and he knows his brain will take any beat of silence to interfere. ]

Or, uh, don’t. Your choice.
satanicpanics: (pic#16020734)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-10-21 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie pauses in front of the Doctor Badass sign, gives in to one of his intrusive thoughts and flips the “out” sign to “in” before slipping though the door. He has no idea who Doctor Badass is or could have been, but he can appreciate the sense of humor. If anything, it leaves one very annoying calling card that someone was probably here. ]

I mean, I could write you a list. Might get kind of long, though.

[ And maybe he will, because, no, it’s never just Judas Priest. Eddie can come up with an infinite amount of music he’d like to hear added to that jukebox, and he can’t help but grin just a little about the fact that Steve has realized as much.

He stops for as long as he can to poke around the bunker—just long enough to try read the spines of a few of those books, but it’s never more than a moment or two so Steve doesn’t slip too far out of sight. And it’s really rather interesting how willing he is to follow Steve, because ordinarily, he might balk at the sheer unknown of—well, all of this. He doesn’t know where this tunnel goes or where this entire trip is leading, but he know that he puts a hell of a lot of trust in Steve, and that’s enough to keep him from jumping out of his skin.

Eddie’s eyes widen as they step through that door. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, but it’s not this—a garage packed full of beautiful classic cars, the likes of which he’s really only seen in the movies.
]

Whoa—wait--holy shit.

[ It’s true, they’re not really on the same when it comes to cars. The way Eddie feels about beautiful guitars and new gear is probably the closest comparison to how Steve feels about cars. But o matte the difference, it doesn’t mean that this sight isn’t absolutely incredible. ]

Jesus Christ—what

[ He laughs in disbelief, shaking his head as he peers out a the sheer cavalry of cars before them. ]

You’re telling me this has just been here this whole time?
satanicpanics: (pic#15737630)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-10-21 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve. You have no idea how grave a mistake you’ve just made.

[ Because now it feels like a challenge, and Eddie is incapable of anything completely normally, so he’s likely going to write down every band and obscure song he can recall ever hearing in his life and what Steve is going to receive to pass along to Dean is going to look more like a book than a list. ]

Man, you’re really going to honor my ridiculous request, huh?

[ It’s not exactly shocking that Steve is willing to do something Eddie’s asked of him—but goddamn if something about that doesn’t just make his head spin. Maybe it’s because it’s something that really doesn’t matter, and yet the only question that’s been asked is “that’s your only suggestion”? It’s small and difficult to put a word to, but there’s just something about it. ]

Got it. Impala’s strictly off limits.

[ He grins like he’s going to try to figure out a way around that rule, just because. It really doesn’t take genius to work out why the Impala isn’t an option here. It’s clearly the favorite out of the bunch, well cared for and parked in a prime location. He wouldn’t bat an eye to learn it’s Dean’s own car.

So he says nothing. Instead, feeling just a little emboldened (or just annoying), he slides his hand across Steve’s shoulders as he steps around him, then proceeds to take off down the line of cars, politely tucking his hands behind his back as if nothing happened at all.

He surveys each car carefully, not really looking for anything particular. They’re all beautiful vehicles and as far as he can tell, all well maintained. Finally, he stops in front of what he knows is a ’77 Pontiac Trans Am, if only because he’s seen Smokey and the Bandit enough times to recognize it as such.
]

Hell yeah. Right this way, Bandit. I’ve made my decision.
satanicpanics: made by <user name="inkonic"> (pic#16613126)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-10-22 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
Huh.

[ Eddie has always known he doesn’t have the most easily digestible personality. He's loud and abrasive, takes things further than they really need to be taken, and turns every dial up to ten just for the sake of drama. He also knows that if he was ever going to change any of that, he would have done so a long time ago. Acceptance is kind of the only possibility here—and that’s clearly what he’s gotten.

He can’t see the way Steve smiles fondly as he trails behind him, putting full trust into his navigation of this place, and Steve can’t see the way Eddie smiles in the exact same way--like this is all starting to call into place and make sense, and it’s probably made sense for a long time but neither of them were willing to acknowledge it. It’s at least partially evident in his voice, though, as he softly tacks on:
]

Good to know.

[ When he drags his hand across Steve's shoulders, he absolutely is trying to get a rise, though maybe it’s not just about being annoying. He takes off before he can catch any reaction, doesn’t look back to even try to discern a facial expression, but he doesn’t hear any complaints, so…

Steve joins him by his car of choice and, of course, rolls his eyes. Those will roll out of your head someday, he wants to quip, but Steve offers him the opportunity to drive, and Eddie grabs for it just as soon as it’s placed on the table—before Steve can remember that his reputation as a driver is less than stellar and take it back. Despite what Robin and Max seem to believe, he is perfectly capable of driving carefully. He’s aware that this car isn’t his own, and this is the Horizon. The Pontiac will get back to the bunker in one piece no matter what.
]

Oh, no. No, no, no. My turn is long overdue.

[ Grinning ear to ear, he pulls the door open, tosses the bottles he’s holding into the backseat (carefully), and seats himself behind the wheel. The key is already in the ignition, an he turns it immediately, practically cackling as the engine roars to life. It’s one thing to ride in a nice car—it’s another to be behind the wheel, especially when the chances of that happening back home were slim to none. ]

Guess that makes me the Bandit, then.

[ Steve’s hands are still full with half of the Roadhouse’s stock of alcohol, so Eddie takes mercy. He leans across the seat and opens the passenger side door, already looking like he’s having he time of his life. ]

You know, you’re probably gonna have to finally tell me where we’re headed, though. Unless you want to end up in Nanaue’s fish realm or something.
satanicpanics: (pic#15853999)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-10-24 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ If Eddie heard a word of that thought process, he’d have a few things to say. Because yeah, maybe Steve does surround himself with all these colorful spotlights of personalities, but his own light is far from dim. His sheer presence has been the beacon in the storm for Eddie throughout these last two years (and more, if you count the time in the crater)—a guiding light, and the only thing really keeping him grounded and stopping him from spiraling or losing his way. Eddie obviously has a strong sense of self, but there are plenty of things in Abraxas that irk him, plenty of events that still weigh heavily on his mind, and more than enough things that could easily turn him into an entirely different person if he allowed them to. Chances are that things would be looking a lot different if Steve hadn’t been here the entire time.

There have been a few brief glimpses of what that might look like—like how Eddie’s spent the last week totally out of mind with worry, looking for a person he logically knows isn’t here anymore. He’d still be in that space if things hadn’t been turned so neatly around. He started the day all dark clouds and gloom, so desperate to avoid the fact that Dustin is gone that he was outright denying it. Now, those clouds have cleared. He’s smiling ear to ear, laughing and joking and practically vibrating with nervous energy of a totally different sort. And it’s not like his worries are gone—the day he stops worrying about Dustin is the day the world ends, after all, but the plan has worked well enough for now. He’s not in his head anymore, and he’ll thank Steve for that later.
]

Alright, alright. Jesus.

[ He chuckles and with significantly more care than he’s ever handled his own van, navigates the car toward the exit and takes off. And yeah, being behind the wheel of a car like this is about as fantastic as he’d expect, and truth be told, he’d be content to just drive—meander for awhile and end up god knows where in the Horizon. But there’s clearly some sort of plan here, and Eddie would like to see the outcome of all of this anticipation and anxiety.

Tapping his fingers against the wheel, he takes his eyes off the road just long enough to tip his head toward Steve with bright eyes and an expectant smile.
]

Better hurry and give me some directions if you’re not looking to end up in fish city, Steve.
satanicpanics: made by <user name="inkonic"> (pic#16613126)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-10-25 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
Juuust making sure there aren’t gonna be any objections or critiques here, Steve. Wouldn’t want to be the cause of the first accident the Horizon’s ever seen.

[ Because never in his life has he had the opportunity to be behind the wheel of such a beautiful car, and he’s aware that his reputation precedes him—that he drives like a maniac or he can’t be trusted behind the wheel, and maybe his anxiety level is slowly creeping up just being in such close quarters again, and the idea of screwing this whole thing up (whatever this “whole thing” is) is really something he would not like to experience.

But then again—this isn’t exactly a normal drive. Those don’t really exist anymore. This is the Horizon, and as much as it pains him to admit it, this car doesn’t actually physically exist. He turns his gaze back to the wide open expanse of Kansas landscape before them. No pedestrians, no buildings, not even any trees—just sky and road and field, and ordinarily he’d look at the flat, empty nothingness and consider that maybe here are worse places than Hawkins after all. But with the sun going down and splashing the sky with fire and gold—it’s actually kind of beautiful.
]

But, uh, if you insist…then I suggest you hold onto your ass.

[ He reaches over and snatches the can right out of Steve’s hand, takes a swig, and hands it right back. Then, with a wild grin as the only warning, he floors it, laughing as the car begins rushing at near full speed toward the horizon line. It really is everything he needed—he feels totally free as he drives like a total madman, anxiety and nerves lifted for the time being.

Now they just have to not end up anywhere largely populated by sea life. But he does trust Steve, and he suspects there won’t be a fish in sight.
]
satanicpanics: (pic#15737640)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-11-15 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, but you’ll be giving me shit for years if I do.

[ It’s a casual response, spoken with a grin and truthfully no different than any of Eddie’s other smartass quips, but there’s something to be said about how easily he implies years, how it trips off his tongue without a moment of hesitation. Eddie’s anxiety over what may happen in the future hasn’t lessened. It’s as strong as ever, and he worries constantly about what may happen if the opportunity to go home ever presents itself, but it’s clear that some part of him is comfortable enough with the concept of having more time--wherever or however that may occur.

That empty horizon seems stretch out forever, nothing but the enormous sky and the little car beneath it, but the drive is far from dull with Eddie behind the wheel. Steve is right, there’s nothing to run into out here, so Eddie make the most of it, weaving in zigzags from one side of the wide road to the next every so often. He steals Steve’s beer more than one more time, sings loudly to the songs he likes, and taps his fingers against the wheel to the ones he feels a little less strongly about or doesn’t really know. To his credit, he doesn’t complain about a single one of them.

It would probably be an incredibly obnoxious situation for anyone who wasn’t used to Eddie’s Eddieisms to be stuck in, but it’s clear that he’s having a blast, and whatever troubles had been weighing him down at the start of the day have been lifted from his shoulders for the time being. Truth be told, it just may be the first time he’s felt truly free in months.

Eventually, he does come down from his high a little bit, gets a little restless and a little tired of looking at the empty road. He’s no less enthused by this little venture , but his loud singing drops to a soft mumble and he allows the speedometer to dip to a more reasonable number. There’s really no reason to keep an eye out for traffic or animals, so he lets his gaze drift back to Steve for a moment.

He starts to say something, maybe finally considers paying Steve that compliment, but he doesn’t get the opportunity. He spies their destination at long last—he’d recognize it anywhere—and shoots back upright to make the turn. He peers through the windshield and laughs, not cruelly, just out of sheer surprise and astonishment.
]

Huh. Holy shit.

[ He’s smiling, though, a good sign. ]

Well, you know, I was expecting the quarry, but, uh, maybe another time.
satanicpanics: (pic#16511860)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-11-17 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh, they’ll both be feeling that guilt over Dustin later. But for now...it’s clear that they both needed this. It’s easy to forget that in the grand scheme of things, the two of them are still idiot kids, and they should be doing this. They should be acting like fools, stealing cars and alcohol from parental figures, and pretending like nothing else in the world exists or matters. That’s how it should be, if only for the time being.

Eddie does a terrible job parking (of course he does, but no one is here to judge him), and swings the door open before he’s even put the brake on. He cuts the engine, the music dies, and Eddie begins his usual song and dance, offsetting his nerves with more talking, more stupid comments that really don’t mean anything at all. Enough noise to drown out the buzzing in his mind, because it is really and truly buzzing with the volume of a full symphony now. Because according to local Hawkins lore, this really isn’t the place people come by chance.
]

You know, I really don’t. We can’t all be Olympic level swimmers, dude. And to be completely honest? I’m really not all that enthused to find out what’s in that water. So, uh…this is fine.

[ The circumstances surrounding his last visit to Skull Rock weren’t the best, but the memory feels oddly distant now. It’s a miracle that he can look at the stack of rocks and not immediately picture himself cowering beneath it, alone and frightened and hoping for someone to show up and help him to set things straight. There are two years between himself and that person now—or more, depending on how you care to look at it—and while the change isn’t extreme, he’s come a long way. ]

Jesus. A hike too? How much more work are you gonna make me put in here, dude?

[ But he’s grinning, and he chuckles as he dips low, sweeping out an arm to urge Steve forward. It’s clear he has no true complaints about any of this so far. ]

After you.
satanicpanics: made by <user name="inkonic"> (pic#16613122)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-11-18 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, yeah, you can keep your modesty to yourself, dude. That’s pretty damn close to being Olympic if you ask me.

[ It probably isn’t, and no one did ask him, but he knows Steve is unlikely to attempt to convince him otherwise at this point.

He is insanely nervous. No part of him feels any sense of calm, but it’s nice to feel a different sort of anxiety for once. This isn’t fear, it’s just…anticipation and uncertainty. The talking helps, though he’s aware that it isn’t subtle and his nerves must be stupidly easy to read.

If you don’t stop complaining, I’ll carry you there, and I don’t know if either of us want that.

Well, Eddie chokes, goes red, and he counts himself lucky that Steve turns and just misses the opportunity to watch him stumble oh-so gracefully over his own feet. By the time he’s steadied himself, Steve is already out of his immediate earshot, and Eddie could easily let the entire thing go…but he doesn’t. He’s not quite buzzed, not yet, but the stolen sips of alcohol he’d had in the car haven’t had no effect on him. He cups his hands around his mouth and calls:
]

Well, Harrington, you know what they say about assumptions…

[ He lets his words dip into laughter, leaving it up mystery and interpretation just how serious he’s really being. Either way, he keeps any and all complaints to himself, joking or otherwise, and the two of them make it up to the rocks without further incident.

Eddie does sit when he’s bade to (he’ll pace anxiously for the rest of the evening if he doesn’t), but as expected, he doesn’t sit still. He never does. He’s eternally restless, a quality that even death could only quash for all of two minutes. All that nervous energy has to go somewhere, and the result his his leg jittering, enough to shake his entire body and to rattle the chains and zippers on his jacket.

That and the soft clinking of glass bottles are the only sounds between them for a moment, as Eddie watches the landscape shift into something more familiar. It’s an unexpected feeling, the way it tugs at his heartstrings and makes him yearn for a place that he left on the worst terms possible. Hawkins may have no love for him, but it’s always going to be his home, and part of him truly does miss it. But even if he could go back—

He shakes his head. This isn’t the time or place. Finally, he clears his throat. His gaze flickers to Steve, and he grins as he passes the bottle back.
]

So, uh…It was pretty cool.

[ As promised, he’s stubbornly held onto his compliment for so long that it barely makes any sense with the context is so far behind them, but it’s clearly important to Eddie that he says it, and he’s happy to provide a reminder, unprompted: ]

The car thing. Back there. With the—

[ He makes a gesture that is seemingly meant to mimic the movement of someone sliding across the hood of a car. ]

Yeah. I was very impressed. Just so you know.
satanicpanics: (pic#15855539)

[personal profile] satanicpanics 2024-11-27 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It’s a topic Eddie will end up contemplating later as well, albeit in a different way. He’s convinced himself that here and now are kind of all he has, but he hasn’t forgotten that the same isn’t true for Steve. Steve still has a life and people waiting for him back home, if the opportunity to return were to ever present itself.

He remembers early on being told not without him. Steve wouldn’t go back alone. But that was half an eternity ago, and it feels cruel and unfair to still hold him to it. It would be like losing a limb at this point, sure, but Eddie won’t be the one to ask him to stay.

But he frets about that almost daily, and for one moment, he can put it on the back burner. Right now, he’s happy, truly happy, where he is and who he’s with.

At the mention of Dukes of Hazzard, he rolls his eyes and shoots Steve a haughty look, narrowed eyes and a scowl, as if he’s truly offended that his television-watching habits have been called into question.
]

Don’t insult me, Harrington. You know I have better taste than that.

[ As usual, his stony expression doesn’t last more than a moment. He breaks and he laughs, trying to relieve a little of his lightheadedness and ground himself once more.

Because as he looks around, looks at this beautiful, idealized version of home, a version that actually feels like home for once in his life, it really begins to set in that this is all for him. Of course it is; the two of them are the only ones here, the only ones who can truly appreciate this, but up until this moment, he didn’t allow himself to dwell on it. None of this just happened. It was all planned to some degree, whether on the fly or days in advance. He’s not disappointed, not by a long shot. He’s overwhelmed in the best kind of way.
]

Hey, so…

[ He finally begins, twisting a lock of hair between his fingers in yet another clear display of nerves, but he can’t seem to form the correct words. He doesn’t even know what the correct words are. He knows he’s searching for an answer, confirmation that this is what he thinks it is, but he knows that if he opens his mouth, there’s no going back. There’s no putting the lid back on that box, no making things the way they were before, and if he’s totally wrong about all of this, that’s going to be disastrous.

But he can’t be all wrong, right? Eddie would move heaven and earth for his friends, but this feels pointedly different than using his own gas money to drive someone into Indianapolis, or constructing a Hellfire campaign specifically around one person’s character because they’ve been having a shitty time. He’s never bent the Horizon like this for someone, no one ever bent the Horizon like this for him, and no one has ever looked at him quite like this.

It would all be blatantly obvious to anyone else (and probably is blatantly obvious to everyone else), but this isn’t something Eddie has a lot of experience with, and it’s hard for him to know how much his anxiety and their time in the crater is coloring his perception of things. Maybe it’s all wishful thinking.

He tries again.
]

I, uh—

[ Nope. And again. ]

This has been—

[ Again, his word catch. He snorts at himself and his own inability to form words, covering his face with a hand and shaking his head, mumbling “Oh, Jesus Christ, get a goddamn grip” into his palm.

It takes a deep breath and pulling the bottle back for another swig, but he manages to center himself just enough to try again. It’s his turn to move closer now, to bridge the gap between them just a little more. He’s not so smooth about it, and their knees knock together just a little harder than Eddie intends.

Screw it. If it goes south, he can try to blame the alcohol.
]

Okay, man, so…maybe I’m way off base here, but, uh…this feels like—something? And if it’s not and I’m just wildly misguided, I, uh…I’m gonna need you to tell me I’m an idiot and break it to me real quick and clean. Bullshit-free, you know?

(no subject)

[personal profile] satanicpanics - 2024-11-29 02:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] satanicpanics - 2024-12-02 02:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] satanicpanics - 2024-12-08 05:52 (UTC) - Expand