abraxaslogs | I know it sounds impossible

Entry tags:

I know it sounds impossible

WHO: Jayce Talis and you
WHAT: A catch-all featuring reaction to Libertas/war and journey/help to Libertas
WHERE: Mostly in Cadens and Libertas, one Horizon prompt
WHEN: September
WARNINGS: General reaction to violence (obviously) and PTSD in comments.

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"My guess is they need to secure the area first and estimate the damage before allowing all the rescue and relief, and then they will."

It is exactly what Jayce himself would have recommended. And that is coming from someone who has never actually prepared or trained for this, but pure common sense. He was forced to become a strategist right away, and he probably would be very good at it given some time. He just didn't want this kind of experience again.

Jayce takes a moment to breathe in deeply and let it out. He is going to need to do that regularly over the next few days and weeks. "I guess it's a good thing I'm a well-trained healer and medic now." Nadine has more experience with emergency aid and the potion and poultice side, but he learned how to heal serious wounds for Viktor. And now it's going to be probably what he's actually needed for.

"I'm thinking we're going to need tools. If there's rubble and damaged buildings, shovels and crowbars will be necessary, maybe saws for the hospital." For something gruesome, but also, there are a lot of other uses. He has no doubt the military has their own collections, but it will be all hands on deck. Or it should be. Jayce writes down all of this, not that they need a list.

“Ridiculous. That we have so much to offer them and they would delay our arrival.”

But this is Viktor’s frustration talking. He knows, of course, that search and rescue efforts should be left to professionals, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to sit idle. That’s what makes him angriest—-feeling useless, unable to help the people who need it. Who knows how many will die before they allow the Summoned to bring their talents and technology to Libertas? Is it egotistical of him, to think that they’re uniquely positioned to help?

He’s so powerless. And this isn’t even touching on the fact that war will be unavoidable, now. Jayce starts to take notes and Viktor’s gaze lingers on him for a long moment. Foolish, to think that they could simply have each other, uncomplicated by politics and the threat of violence. Even here, it’s inescapable.

He wants to reach out and make contact. Stabilize himself. Viktor closes the distance and rests a hand on Jayce’s shoulder.

“If the Free Cities choose to retaliate, we need to prepare for that as well.”

Jayce doesn't say what he is thinking, which is that it's the right thing to do, for people who know the area and are trained in this to go in first. He assumes that intellectually Viktor knows that and he's just venting, which is perfectly reasonable. He is relieved when Viktor comes closer and touches him, it's always better when they have contact.

Jayce sets the notebook down and slips an arm around Viktor's waist, closing the space between them. He simply holds him for now, letting the intimacy curl around them and bring some comfort, even a small amount. They can't control the world around them and never could, but they still have each other. He cups Viktor's face and gently runs his thumb along the high cheekbone.

"They're going to, it's probably already been decided. They've been prepared for this a long time." Jayce has some guesses about what is going to happen next. Who knew he would end up with a good mind for these things? But he doesn't want to. He just wants to focus on what they can actually do.

"We can't do anything about that, but we will be able to do something about Libertas, V." They don't have any authority, any say over the military. Search and rescue is the only option in front of them.

“We need to decide what that means for us.”

They’ve been very careful, so far, only proposing and building equipment in line with what’s mostly available in Cadens, and taking steps to ensure anything they do build cannot be weaponized. Now that war seems imminent, Viktor thinks it’s only a matter of time before the government calls on the Summoned to fulfill what he assumes to be their purpose. For them, it likely means being made to build weapons.

Jayce’s touch, though grounding, does little to calm him. He tries, leaning in, stroking at Jayce’s hair, but he’s simply too angry.

“We’ll go to Libertas as soon as we’re able. Do what we can. Then what?”

"We've been careful, the only weapons they think we can make as of right now are blades, and any blacksmith can do that. We can play dumb."

Jayce and Viktor have consciously been making things that always stay under the radar as perhaps very inventive but generally reasonable items. He doubts that they will be in constant or high demand outside of possibly making blades, but Lee has more power and authority there than he does.

"But that can't be said about Sam's wings. It exposes all of us."

Which he has a feeling Sam will want to use for this. Jayce and Viktor have helped with the project but since it is technically Sam and Tony's end result, they don't have say over it. But Jayce wants it clear between the two of them that he thinks it's a mistake. They always knew it was possible they could be weaponized by Cadens but that's when war was still just a far away concept. And if they're capable of making those, they can make other things.

"Doing what we can isn't a one-and-done situation. They'll need long-term assistance, we can focus our energy on that." They are more capable than many about coming up with solutions once the search and rescue are done. It won't be the end. He kisses Viktor's forehead. "We can't stop them, V."

“Tony thinks it’s worth it,” he says, waving a hand dismissively, his tone of voice more-or-less saying it all. Viktor understands the inclination to use everything at their disposal to save as many lives as possible, but the trade off will be that the military will know about the wing technology, and stand to gain from it. That seems like a decision Tony is much better at navigating, given the fact that he used to build weapons himself, something Viktor still struggles with.

No, they can’t stop them. That’s always been true——it’s just staring them in the face, now. Viktor can’t even be comforted by physical affection, too wound up and angry about what he knows is coming.

“They’re going to force us, you know. To build weapons for them. That’s why we’re here, that’s—-that’s what this has always been about.”

And, once again, he’d been naive. Grown complacent. Thought, perhaps, that Thorne and the Free Cities would be too afraid of mutually-assured destruction.

"We'll see how worth it that will feel in a few months." That was always a risk when working on Sam's wings, they were exceptional but always possibly of interest to the military. Now they're in an actual war, it seems like a handing them an idea on a platter. If they don't confiscate the wings themselves, they'll just duplicate it. Jayce did build a weapon, a serious one. He'd destroy it right now if he could.

He cares about Sam though, and he's been in the military. He knows. Jayce is only bringing it up to Viktor because of how everyone involved with it might end being eyed by them. They've made themselves targets in a way. He isn't going to stand in their way, it's just on his mind.

"I know. And we're in a vulnerable position." He means them specifically. It would be very easy for the military to convince the academy that Viktor and Jayce's skills are better suited for helping them than finishing the Hexcore. Or support for the Hexcore will come at the end of a threat. Or maybe they will ignore them entirely, Jayce truly doesn't know. But he's paranoid and his priority is Viktor even now.

"We'll have to face that if it happens." Jayce can tell that the physical comfort isn't helping but it isn't hurting, so he keeps close to Viktor anyway, running his hand up and down his spinal implant. He isn't going to say it's okay or use optimistic language for once. This is a bad situation that'll get worse.

"Outside of the wings, they have no reason to think we can make impressive tech on that scale, everything we've made has been within reason or useful for non-lethal situations. Neither of us have physical fighting abilities so we can't help that way. We may be passed over." It is a very iffy maybe, but he thinks logically it could be. Except for his healing magic, once it's seen out there in action. Hard to say if that will be enough reason to recruit him.

Edited 2022-09-17 20:27 (UTC)

Whatever Tony does from here on out is out of his hands--Viktor can't say he didn't warn him, though of course that doesn't stop him from feeling at least partially responsible. Jayce, analyzing their situation and doing his best to be reassuring, comes off as though he'd never had his lapse in composure at all. Viktor furrows his brow. Looks up at that perfect, infuriating face.

Jayce is more of a politician than either of them want to admit. That will probably work to their advantage, here, and he may be right about some or all of the things he's saying. Viktor is too pessimistic, however, to think that the government will continue to leave them to their own devices. They were summoned for a reason. Their specific talents, their research, must have been part of that, and there isn't any hiding the real depth of their knowledge and ability. It's only a matter of time.

"I was so foolish," he admits, burying his face against Jayce's chest while his arms curl around his middle, hands creeping up his back, brushing his shoulders. "To think I could have you, without anything else in the way. That we could escape politics, and war, and simply...do good."

Viktor was ready to make the most of this--displaced as they are, he still wants to help. Make things better for the people of this world. Being drafted into a war effort, inevitable as it may be, is the opposite of that.

Jayce is an excellent politician and low key a good strategist as well, but he won't know for sure how all of this goes until he sees it. He isn't so sure they knew exactly who they were bringing here. Sometimes Jayce falls under the umbrella of people who think they just started grabbing people from the ether and hoping they were helpful. If they knew exactly who Jayce and Viktor were, it would make sense they would approach them earlier for New Magic and Hextech connections. If they knew about Viktor, they could use his condition to get what they want. Maybe they will prove they can do exactly that soon. But he is skeptical.

Jayce wraps his arms around Viktor entirely when he curls in tight and holds him. Viktor struggles with opening up to vulnerability like this so Jayce always values when he does, when he is honest and forthright about how he is feeling underneath.

"There is nothing in the way of us, V. You have me, all of me." It won't be the same, with Jayce being taken away by the council and other obligations. He's learned that lesson, that being away from Viktor is the stupidest thing he could have ever done.

Jayce holds him tight and leans down to kiss the top of his head, nuzzling his hair with his nose, breathing him in deeply. This thing between them is everything, the most beautiful thing he could have asked for, and he won't let anything tarnish them. Not even this.

"Listen to me closely. I am not going to let anyone compromise your mind and integrity and use you, not ever." Jayce has already been compromised and used and used others, he is on the other end of that, and he won't see that knowing emptiness that comes from it in Viktor's face. "We are going to get out of this, we're smarter than any of them."

There's a lot in the way, actually. Beyond the politics of this world and the current crisis and looming war, this relationship is fully temporary if they don't manage to find a way to cure his illness. He needs no assurance that he has all of Jayce--Jayce has made that abundantly clear over their few short months together, but circumstances might change. His health could take a turn for the worse. The healing could stop working. They might reverse-engineer a way home only to be thrust back into the political quagmire of their own world (though Viktor might find that preferable). He knows, now, how easily everything can change. It isn't as though Jayce planned to have the Council pull him in every direction.

Viktor is not necessarily worried about his own integrity. He can handle that himself, though of course Jayce's sentiment is appreciated. What he's afraid of is the leverage the government might use against them, to get what they want. He and Jayce are relying on the Academy's resources to finish the Hexcore. That puts them both in an untenable situation.

"I hope that you're right. Too many unknown variables. We don't know the lengths to which the government is willing to go, to make us do what they want."

Jayce is also personally concerned with what they might do to manipulate the situation. Holding Viktor's cure over his head would be enough to get Jayce to do anything, but he is willing to compromise himself, it's been done before, he has no high road to worry about. Especially with Viktor in his arms, this man so important and precious to him, Jayce would tear apart the world to keep him alive. He knows that means they have a huge weak spot. They are more at risk than most, with something so important held over their head.

"As long as we stick together, I know we'll find a way to get through this." He has to be confident about that, he has to believe in it. Jayce traces a lot of the root of some of his problems to when he stopped listening to Viktor, so he isn't going to make that mistake again.

"We can still do good. We may not be able to stop the war, but we can always do whatever we can to help people in the meantime. Like in Libertas." That has to be the next focal point. The next thing they can do. And after that? After that, Jayce has no idea. For once he is not the person looking into the future because he likes only seeing the positive future. Not the one layered with so many negative possibilities.

The worst part is that he's not sure what other choice they have--he can't not work. Even if his life didn't depend on it, Viktor naturally wants to create, invent, improve. Sitting idle, even when kept here against his will, is unacceptable to him.

He'd wondered, often, why they would bother summoning him here if it would only be for a short time. Cadens' government certainly hasn't offered him anything by way of a cure (not that he thinks he would take it), implying that it means very little to them, whether he lives or dies. Maybe he's here simply as leverage for Jayce, who he knows would do anything for him, on top of being the suggestible one. Wouldn't that figure.

Viktor reminds himself that they're a united front, now. That should make all the difference, and yet he can't quite believe it. He pulls away, finally, but only so he can sit down on the bed, looking defeated.

"I'd almost rather be home." At least then he'd feel like he could do something. "Wouldn't you?"

Edited 2022-09-19 23:11 (UTC)

Jayce still doesn't believe that they intentionally brought them the same way Viktor does, but it would make some horrible amount of sense if they did it to use them against each other. Viktor's stronger than he is, Jayce is the weak link. If they come to him threatening Viktor's safety, he will fold immediately. They both know that, so it doesn't need to be said. He also knows that Viktor would be furious if he ends up being the leverage, but they can't react until something happens. Jayce wants to take one thing at a time.

The two of them are in for now, they can check in with people in a little while, so Jayce sits on the bed next to Viktor and then just lies back, staring up at the ceiling. This is a question and a topic he has intentionally avoided all this time because he knows they disagree. Home, where he's ruined his life, where Viktor is dying without question? He's in no hurry for that.

"No," he says, finally. "Not until we have a guarantee that we can go back with all our new memories and skills intact. Or your cure, when we finish it." Jayce thinks that is perfectly reasonable. He would give up his healing and magic to go back for Viktor, but only if his life was saved. He will take no chances with Viktor's life. "From what I can tell people are just put back where they were taken. We'd lose all of it." Them.

Yes, he's heard all of this. Spoken to people who were apparently sent back and returned, with no memory of this place as they moved along their proper timeline, in their own world. He has no idea how this could work for them, even though they're only separated by a matter of days. Would Viktor have a chance to get things right, with the Hexcore? Would his own future be different from the one Jayce experienced? There's no real way to tell. All he can really do is the best he can, here, with what he has.

Viktor wants to tell himself that it wouldn't matter if they were sent back home, with none of what they've learned. At least home is a known quantity. There's investment. There's a working Hexcore that Viktor still believes in, not having yet made the horrible mistake that Jayce is convinced he makes. Returning isn't necessarily a death sentence, and at least they wouldn't be fighting someone else's war.

"The Summoning ritual. That could be part of it."

Of course, he doesn't really know that. But he and Jayce found each other once, so they could do it again. He knows, now, how long the feelings have been there--isn't getting back to where they are now just a matter of probability? Naïve, perhaps. Viktor is well aware that it's the very specific circumstances of this place that brought them together. Back in Piltover, with Jayce as a Councilor and Viktor immersed in his work, it seems unlikely. He's reminded, again, of everything he hoped to do, and how allowing himself the indulgence of a relationship would only hinder his goals.

Would he do that? Would he erase all of this, with Jayce, if it meant doing what he's supposed to be doing--helping the Undercity? The fact that he can't answer this for himself, not definitively, unsettles something in him. Makes him feel selfish all over again. If returning home is a possibility, then maybe it would be for the best, to forget.

Viktor drags his good leg up onto the mattress and leans forward on it, resting his chin on his knee in apparent thought. A suitable reply doesn't come.

All Jayce has to go back to is disaster. Some of it made by him. He's going to lose Viktor. He's going to lose his position, possibly all of his work. It's possible the peace with Zaun happens, and if so, he can be thankful about that, but it won't stop the other parts from being true. There is no happy ending for him, and maybe he doesn't deserve one, but that doesn't mean he is actively going to go searching for misery. He is not that much of a masochist.

Jayce already knows where this all ends up so he doesn't think an argument needs to happen. In the end, he'll do what Viktor wants. What is he going to do? Try to live here without him? He would rather die. It's not his choice and maybe lying there on their bed, in this home they made together, he's a little angry about it. He doesn't respond to what Viktor says because he thinks it's foolish. It's not about the spell. They are not in control of what happens right now. They can try to figure it out over time, but no one in over a year has managed to get the spell to work for the Summoned.

When Jayce is angry, he sees red, but he's more likely to get depressed, to hit low lows, and that is where he feels himself creeping toward again. It wouldn't be disconnected like before, at least, but he does feel that sort of sad acceptance fall over him. It's stupid, to wish it was as simple for Viktor as it was for him. But feelings can be very stupid like that. He knows the silence between them is being filled with all the things they aren't saying, and as two geniuses, they are well aware of that.

Words appear over his eyelids and it's Dean's post. Right after it happens, and he sees words shooting around, causing all kinds of feelings. Jayce blinks away a tear and sits up. "Network post. We can check in on Nadine there." He gets off the bed. Apparently he would rather just brush by this instead of deal with it, but that is his way. "Ask her what she needs, it'll give us something to do."

Jayce is going to read all of it, which is not really good for him, considering, but he is mostly going to stay out of it. He brushes his fingers in a light caress through Viktor's hair as he passes him and leaves the bedroom.

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I know it sounds impossible

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