I know it sounds impossible

[hextechhead]

WHO: Jayce Talis and you
WHAT: A catch-all featuring reaction to Libertas/war and journey/help to Libertas
WHERE: Mostly in Cadens and Libertas, one Horizon prompt
WHEN: September
WARNINGS: General reaction to violence (obviously) and PTSD in comments.





Starters Below!

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Comments

OTA - Reaction + pre-trip to Libertas

[hextechhead]

Shortly after the horrified Summoned and Cadens people watch as smoke and fire show over Libertas and ash fills the air, Jayce and Viktor leave to follow the order to go home. Jayce can be seen appearing glassy-eyed and very pale on the way to their apartment.

The next day and the days leading up to the Libertas relief effort, Jayce can be found at the workshop with a large collection of different types of tools that he has created for the upcoming effort. When he is not helping Nadine put together care packages and medical poultices, he is there making other things. He is mass-creating multi-tools to give to the soldiers and rescue workers, since they are not violent but can be useful when needing to do every day work. Scissors, knives to cut what they need, small saws, screwdrivers, pliers, they can all be useful going in.

It may not be as obviously helpful but Jayce works on a variety of crowbars, shovels, and saws, all with the mindset of helping to get rubble out. If they find people pinned by things or need to get under rubble, a strong crowbar is helpful, and saws can cut things out of the way. Honestly, it's just what he can think of to do to help.

The workshop door is open if anyone wants to come in and either talk, ask about their items he's been working in, or offer to help!

[waywardsister]

It feels fucked up to admit, but the catastrophe shakes something in Claire loose that's gotten stuck, breaks the hard shell of her grief, gets her to move again. Suddenly she's not a stranger in strange lands trying to find her place while trying to handle her own grief, her inner demons that are clinging so closely. This, though... it shakes everything back into perspective.

Who cares about the jagged edges of their own pain? There's people that need saving, monsters or no. So... Claire starts preparing for the trip. Being a hunter's all about killing monsters, but what would be the point of that if you didn't do it to save people? That's the first thing. That's gotta be the first thing.

So Claire finds herself jogging to the workshop in the organized chaos of relief effort preparations. The door's open - Claire's not been here, but she knows who works here from Dean. She's been trying to figure out how to build up the rapport - and coin - she needs to outfit herself better. But hey, some things are more than secondary now. She raps her knuckles against the door frame, pushes her hair back from her face, and calls into the work shop:

"Hey - Jayce? Jayce Talis?"

[hextechhead]

Disasters like this can snap people out of a lot of things, him included, and Jayce has always been better when he can make things. It's his common form of anxiety relief, creating objects with his hands that may or may not be helpful. It's better than sitting at home waiting for permission to do anything. His world had only recently (for him) turned into violence. He knew this was possible, but had hoped things would be different.

"Yes, I'm here." He calls back to whoever it is. Viktor is currently out so it's just Jayce in there. He is a very tall and broad man, many people used to be confused about his build considering he's a scientist, but since he's become the local blacksmith, that answer is given.

Jayce currently has a box to the side and he has a variety of multi-tools on his desk. They both have their own parts of the workspace, and Jayce always is the one with tools and blades on it, since he makes projects all day for people to pick up typically. He glances up though to see who it is, looking a little weary at the moment, more mentally than anything else.

[waywardsister]

Claire's pretty much the polar opposite to Jayce. Short where he's usually in good company of other ridiculously tall people, and slender to the point of scrappy. Her long blonde hair is curretly half braided back into a loose ponytail for practicality. And also because when someone said 'blacksmith' she genuinely had a moment of worrying she'd set herself on fire helping out here.

As ist stands, she's wandering closer, eyes tracking all over. Curiosity for what's on display, what's being worked on, who's in the room with her, but also looking for other exits. Hunter habit, nothing personal.

"Word on the street is you could use a hand with prep work." She holds up her hands, wiggles her fingers. "Figured I'd offer you two." A beat, another look around the complicated contraptions, then: "I also got two good legs, so if you just wanna shove boxes at me to carry from A to B, that's cool, too. Long as it's helping."

[hextechhead]

Their workspace is both chaotic and completely clean, in the way that it is chaotic as they work on many things, but they know where everything is. They also hide away any important projects so mostly she'll see a bunch of books, notes, schematics drawn out for various ideas, a blackboard in the back with a whole lot of numbers written over it that won't make sense outside of them. The strangest thing in there is probably the frappuccino machine that is on Viktor's desk along with what looks like desert goggles. The schematics posted on the wall next to Jayce's space are what might seem to be mining equipment half done.

"Really? Who's word would that be?" He isn't suspicious, he's genuinely curious, there are any number of people who would send help his way. Jayce smiles faintly at her and nods. "Boxes I can always use help with." Caitlyn used to do that for him, back before she found her own job and cause. He has one that he was filling with multi-tools and lighter saws, so he hikes it up onto the desk. It's reasonably heavy, he's not assuming anything by looking at her.

"I was going to bring these to the town square if you want to walk with me." A much heavier pack is nearby, that one is not a box but a very large bag in which there are many shovels and crowbars put within, which he slings over his arm fairly easily. These muscles aren't for show.

OTA - Trip to Libertas and actions in Libertas

[hextechhead]

As soon as they are given permission to go to Libertas, Jayce and Viktor are there bright and early to walk through the portal and get involved with whatever is on the other side. Immediately Jayce splits apart to focus on what has been a huge part of his life since arriving: healing. He started learning to help Viktor's condition until they found a cure, but now months in and with training and experience, it comes to him naturally.

He is known in Cadens as a blacksmith, but he will become known in Libertas as a healer.

Jayce can be seen tirelessly spending time at the hospitals offering his magical assistance, and he also knows enough about medicine now to give advice or reference medical support for those who don't need his gifts. Perhaps you have brought someone in who needs help or are looking for something to do, a direction to be given, come find him and he will seem like juggling twenty cases at the same time is perfectly reasonable. Warm and kind, he's become a particular favorite of injured children who he tells stories about his strange pet Rio. They don't believe him but laugh when he talks about her slobbering.

Sometimes Jayce is sent from the hospital to go to the temporary shelters and see if there aren't people falling through the cracks there as well. He has a medical bag with him since he is saving his magic for the more serious cases, knowing that a slave or poultice, especially Nadine's versions, can do the job too.

When needing to take a healing break, he uses his not inconsiderable amount of physical strength to carry supplies through the portals. Jayce seems determined to stay as much as he possibly can, only dragging himself away when other people force him to. If you want to be the one to suggest it, find him anywhere looking like he is about to fall asleep standing up, his clothes dirty and covered in sweat.

[warfed]

"You are working yourself too hard."

Petra's observation comes when Jayce is indeed falling asleep on his feet, her hands on her hips as she looks him over. She, too, has been spending the bulk of her time here in Libertas lending her aid; she's seen him tending to the wounded more times than she can count, and knows he has been putting in more hours than most, even among the most dedicated. She admires his efforts, certainly, but there is always a line that must be drawn.

"You will be no good to anyone if you are collapsing or cannot be staying awake enough to keep your hand steady."

[hextechhead]

Jayce is used to not sleeping much. He and Viktor spent years so focused on their work that they would sleep in the lab or take naps and go over problems together. Their lives haven't changed that much in that regard, they still are two of the busiest people in Cadens. The difference is that usually it was only Jayce's mind getting the workout, so adjusting to his body and magic getting drained is new. There also is the reality that the toll of destruction and death is hard, especially on soft people like him.

He snaps awake when he hears her and focuses. He knows Petra, of course, she and her friends helped out during the mining effort not that long ago. Jayce is glad they did get all of that sorted before this happened, they would have had to put it off otherwise. He finds a tired smile for her.

"You're not the first person to say so." Jayce runs fingers through his hair and finds a place to sit for a moment. He doesn't remember being this tired before. "I've been training in magic since getting here, but I haven't used it this much all at once before." He thinks that may be the defining factor, because physical labor is pretty common to him.

[warfed]

“Perhaps if more than one person is saying so, you should be thinking about listening.”

Though firm, her words are laced with kindness, and she gives him a knowing smile of understanding even as her hands remains fixed on her hips. She knows firsthand that such things are easier said than done— she, too, is inclined to work herself to the bone if someone doesn’t stop her, but given that her labor here has been mostly physical, she hasn’t quite hit that threshold yet, her well-honed endurance serving her well.

“When is the last time you were eating, Jayce?”

[hextechhead]

"It must be hard, being so right."

Jayce smiles wearily at her; he usually manages to be polite and warm even when in a bad space. And this entire experience, it would be surprising if anyone was in a good place. He really is tired and he wonders where Viktor is. It's not possible for them to keep exact eyes on each other in this situation.

"I haven't eaten since I got here." How could he? There is so much to do and people who need food more than he does. It's been a lot of hours since then and Jayce didn't even think about it. He probably could use some water too. As a medic he honestly should know better, but it's a new type of job and he isn't thinking clearly.

[warfed]

"It is difficult, from time to time, but I am managing."

The situation is a dire one, but she can still muster up the energy to play along with him. They'll need a bit of levity to keep going, even if it's only the tiniest sliver.

She inclines her head, then holds a hand out to him in offering before gesturing to the encampment just a little bit down the way.

"Come. You will be able to help more people if you are taking care of yourself, even if you are only eating very little. Something to drink, as well. Water is being extremely important. You have helped many, and you will help more."

[hextechhead]

Jayce takes her hand and stands back up, although he doesn't want to put the outrageous amount of bulky weight he has on anyone else so it's mostly him pushing off. There is food and water stations everywhere in the relief camps and hospital so he heads in that direction.

"Thank you, Petra. I think it's the adjustment to using magic like this. I usually have very good stamina."

For the obvious reason. At several inches over six feet and made of pure muscle, he's blocky. And used to his physical strength getting him through any amount of long hours of days.

"But I never had magic before."

It might not seem that way since Jayce seems like a very competent and confident healer, as he's been doing for hours now without stop, and if not that, he's been a qualified field medic. But this is all new information, he learned here in Abraxas.

OTA - Horizon

[hextechhead]

Jayce will only briefly be in the Horizon this month, mostly all in the first few weeks as they wait for the relief effort to Libertas. He looks very harried and exhausted, usually making notes about all the supplies that will need to be taken to Libertas. He is doing that in real life too, but he's trying to make judgment calls about how much is possible.

He can also be found most often in those early days in the meditation room, a beautiful green field on a peaceful perfect day inside, meditating and training in his magic. He knows that going to Libertas will drain his healing magic so he wants to be at the peak of it.

As usual Rio can take any people visiting directly to where Jayce is and unlike her normal friendly self she seems very anxious.

Re: OTA - Horizon

[blackeyedprince]

He's not there.

Kell vanishes to the Horizon the first moment they get let go. The first moment he knows he's alone and unobserved. Hopes he's unobserved. Everything he thought about this city, everything he thought he knew, his plans... all went down in those distant flames. He's still unable to tame his fury or even comprehend what in the name of all the saints has just happened.
The inability to do anything, the inadvisability to even say something for the very real fear of retaliation from this absolutely mad woman. It's physically painful. But there's one thing he can do.

He can at least check for Jayce.

But he's not there. Not immediately, not the first day, not the second... only Rio, and she looks distressed. Kell tries to tell himself that the very fact she is there, that Jayce's and Victor's domain exists, is a sign he - they - must be alive. It doesn't help much. Only, a little.

So when finally Rio leads him somewhere, to a lush, green field with a gentle breeze and warm sun. An image of a perfect day. Kell just drops on the grass near Jayce in sheer exhaustion.

"How are you? How's Victor?"

He has many more questions, but those are the only words he's able to say. It feels wrong to interrupt his friend's meditation, but he needs to know. Or he's going to start planning a fucking regicide ... as stupid and dangerous as this would have been, and he's a lousy assassin.

[hextechhead]

Jayce might have gone into the Horizon sooner if he knew people would be worried, but he also had a very difficult time right after the attack happened. He sort of froze entirely and it took a little time to shake him out of it, so those first few days, he was dazed. Not in a good headspace.

They have been working nonstop on preparing for the relief work to Libertas, getting supplies together, making tools, and he's been filling up his bigger-on-the-inside satchel with whatever they'll need to walk through with. It will be any day now that they get to go. So right then, magical focus is the most he can do.

Like usual he can sense when someone is in their space so by the time Kell sits next to him, he isn't startled. But even here, despite people can appear and be whatever they want in the Horizon, Jayce looks worn out. Harried. The meditation room is as calming as possible. He doesn't mind the distraction and Kell must have been worried.

"We're not good," he admits, honestly. Sometimes Jayce really tries to put a pleasant face on for others or seem optimistic, but it would be really out of tune and it's also not the truth. "They're letting us go probably tomorrow, for relief work. It's ... apparently it's very bad there." Jayce can't really prepare for how bad.

[blackeyedprince]

"I figured, I just ..."

The rest of the sentence trailing into nothing. Wanted to know you're alive. Glad you're both alive. Worried that you might have died. All of this sounds hollow to him. True, but obvious, and woefully not enough. Not even close to the turmoil that threatened to overwhelm him those previous days when he did not find Jayce in his Horizon domain. And he is not the one going into the scorched city with a meagre hope of finding survivors.

"I'm sorry"

It feels as if he should have done something to prevent this. Somehow foresaw the mad woman for what she is. The memory of their conversation where he defended Thornean queen burns like acid now. Kell wishes he has never said that, that he somehow was able to see through his own wishful thinking. But he didn't, and it's too late now.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

[hextechhead]

"You were worried." He can tell. "I'm sorry, I should have reached out, we got caught up in planning." Jayce can be caught in his own pain and grief and still see that Kell came here because he cares. He hurried here, actually, and Jayce manages a small smile for him.

Rio comes over and simply lies down next to Jayce, putting her head on his knee. He pets her lovingly. Viktor and he haven't fully figured out what she is, a simple projection or something the Singularity gave life to, or just a really impressive fantasy. Either way, it doesn't matter, she is theirs.

Jayce does remember that he was defensive of the queen before, but he doesn't really see it that way. Kell was hopeful he wasn't being captured in a castle with his brother with the bad guys. But Jayce saw all of this coming; it doesn't mean it makes it easy. Being right feels wrong when it's like this.

"You're my friend, Kell. That's help enough." Jayce reaches over and pats his back. "I imagine they put you all on lockdown pretty heavily, right?"

[blackeyedprince]

Kell huffs. "No wonder, pretty absorbing situation to find yourself in."

This particular, cynical brand of sarcasm is automatic. His default shield. And very, very inappropriate here. Kell drags a hand down his face with a quiet groan. Shit.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply..." He had no intention behind those words. "Sanct. This is all fucking insane."

The pat on the back makes him feel even more guilty. He shrugs.

"Not really. They must have realized they will need all the help they can get to deal with fires that hit the fields and the forests after the retaliation strike. The mad bitch is too busy going after her own people to take it on us. For now. Rhy volunteered to help, so we're going out soon."

[hextechhead]

"It's okay, Kell. Viktor's also someone who gets sarcastic during these times." Angry and sarcastic. Jayce tends to shut down or make it internal, but he gets that his friend didn't mean to be callous. "There's too many minefields around what we're living through to get squeamish about wording."

Which is another way of saying 'shit's real bad, don't worry about phrasing.' Jayce wouldn't waste his time worrying about how someone is reacting to an active war beginning in their homes, even if the two of them were forced into their factions.

Jayce glances over at him and almost as an automatic response to his concern, Rio lifts her head to waddle over to Kell and put her head on his knee instead. She really is a reflection of her owners, one way or another.

"You two need to make a plan. If there's a way to escape the castle if there's a direct attack, if you can make it to one of the other cities." Jayce is dead serious. "I've seen what something like New Magic weapons can do. I had a single hammer with my Hextech, and I killed people in full mech suits like it was easy. If Free Cities has even a fraction of what we did, they could wipe the castle off the map."

Closed to Viktor

[hextechhead]

When they are ushered into Portam Hall, Jayce stays very close to Viktor, eyeing the increased military in the room with unease. Maybe it is foreboding but he feels unsettled. When Marlo says that Jaskier was in fact attacked and that the bugs were designed to protect him after all, Jayce goes white as a sheet. He immediately relives Dean and Geralt's messages and his response. It doesn't matter how much he underlined that they could be wrong, because at the end of the day, he told Dean there was enough suspicion about the bug to remove it. He goes completely still and barely breathes for a moment.

If more of you had stepped up. That may end up being haunting for more than a few days.

That is what Jayce thinks the worst possible thing is, shaken by how yet again his choices could be destructive. And then it gets much, much worse. His instinct when the tremor starts is to put an arm around Viktor and keep him close, uncertain if this is leading to an earthquake or something else. When they step outside and see the destruction, if only from a distance, fire and smoke, ashes blowing toward them on the wind, Jayce feels genuinely faint.

They are told to go home and so he does, numb and far away. If Viktor tries to say anything to him, Jayce mumbles a response but it is clear he is not all there. Upon arriving home he sits and immediately buries his face in his hands, eyes closed, trying to remember how to breathe. It isn't as simple as one thing on his back. Jayce gets overwhelmed easily and the double punch in a row is enough for him stomach to roll. He says nothing, just breathing unsteadily.

Jayce is thinking about the bridge. The bodies, the fire, the blood. That is Libertas now, or worse. He is thinking about the carnage at the Shimmer factory. At the moment, all he can see in his mind are the various disasters laid at his feet, and this one is not, at least not the attack on Libertas, but Jaskier is. They were there only a month ago. A month? He doesn't remember dates or times right then.

[techmaturgy]

Viktor, on the other hand, is furious. He cares less about who did and did not perform the assignment (really, he'd only done it himself because others contacted them offering devices of their own), and more about the death and destruction that has most assuredly come for Libertas. The Free Cities will surely retaliate. It's everything he's been afraid of, in stark relief. Ashes drifting towards Cadens, and there's nothing he can materially do. That's the most enraging thing of all.

He knows Jayce is blaming himself, even though it's misplaced. Viktor wants nothing more than to shake it out of him, too frustrated to entertain his particular brand of self-loathing, even though he knows by now that it requires a gentler hand. When they barely speak on the walk home, and they don't speak even when they get back to the apartment, Viktor is not quite sure how to pull him from the , with Jayce practically catatonic on the edge of their bed. It's not productive. It's not what he wants to be doing, but it needs to be done.

His anger is evident even from the kitchen, where the clanking of mugs and the scrape of the kettle against the cast iron of the stovetop betrays just how furious he really is. When he comes back to Jayce, however, he seems to have done his best to calm down, immediately moving into his space, grabbing one of his hands and pressing a warm mug of tea into into it. Viktor doesn't let go, just in case Jayce won't grab it in turn, but he's insistent, refusing to pull back as he sits down next to him.

"Drink this." He frames it that way on purpose--like this is something Jayce can do for Viktor, and he sells it further by leaning right into him, ducking his chin so that he can try meet Jayce's eyes, even if he insists on keeping his face covered. "Look at me, Jayce."

[hextechhead]

Jayce notices Viktor's angry but in this far away way, his mind sees it existing and he thinks he understands, but he feels nothing about it. Concern, maybe, for his lover, and once he does snap out of this, he will feel guilty solely for being so out of it, but he really can't seem to connect. He doesn't know how long he's been there. He takes the mug because Viktor gives it to him and holds it. His hands have to drop away from his face to do that.

This is not the first time he has gotten into this state, it just has been a long time. Usually Jayce reacts the opposite way to stress and trauma, by getting emotional or panicking or reacting intensely. Or getting sick, which he thought at first he might do, but he just went into this quiet state instead. His eyes are a little dazed as he follows Viktor's instruction to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he says, because that really is Jayce's instinct even now. His voice sounds far away too, that is so strange. "I just need a minute." Okay that sounds good, he sounds calm even if far away. Should he not be calm though? No, he shouldn't be. He should be angry? Viktor is angry. "I'll be fine, I just need a minute." He repeats thinking maybe that will help. A minute is reasonable. He'll be okay after that.

"Please don't look at me, I just need a minute, Viktor." It would be so much easier if it was actually happening here and now. Jayce is better in action, he would have already been moving to heal, to help people, to get them out of the way. But it was smoke and fire and away from him, he couldn't go there.

[techmaturgy]

He's never seen Jayce like this--not to this extent, and on some level he knows he's not equipped to handle it. He can't even ask Jayce what he can do to help, because Jayce isn't in any state to even respond to him. He needs a minute. Of course he does. They both do. Viktor just considers his minute already taken, and is now looking for a way to be productive.

When it becomes clear that Jayce is not going to drink the tea, Viktor takes the mug out of his hand. He still tries to make eye contact, but Jayce purposefully avoids his gaze, and outright tells Viktor not to look at him. That seems ridiculous, and he wants to verbally protest it but it's clear by now that something is wrong.

He hates feeling powerless. He can't go to Libertas, which for all he knows is still on fire. He can't pull Jayce out of wherever he is. It's all useless, and he wants to explode about it. Getting angry, however (angrier than he already is), won't help. Instead, he sets the mug of tea aside and encourages Jayce to lean into him, even down on to his lap if he wants. For lack of anything to say, Viktor starts carding a hand through his hair, soothing, even if his furrowed eyebrows and downturned mouth are anything but.

"It's not your fault."

[hextechhead]

Once Jayce can actually focus and do something, it will be helpful for him too, but he is frozen with no way out of it just yet. He is trying very hard to keep breathing and not get sick, that's top of his list of concerns, panicking and throwing up, so if he just stares off into space for a few minutes, he should be okay, okay? Okay. He wants to be helpful, he wants to be there for Viktor, but he feels locked into his head and body.

What does help is being moved. Jayce goes with it passively, Viktor's warm and familiar body is reassuring. Putting his head in his lap is exactly what he would have done if he was actively seeking comfort, so to just be offered it makes him relax a little. It makes him flash back to Mel, to when he was losing his mind over Viktor's illness, and she let him put his head in her lap and hold her hand. He had to do it for her, but she kindly allowed it. It is nice for Viktor to just do it, and his fingers in his hair are deeply soothing.

Jayce finally reacts more and closes his eyes, leaning into Viktor's touch. He sighs at the words and feels so tired. "I know you want me to believe that. I know you're angry. I know it's frustrating." He sounds emotionless, detached, not a Jayce habit. "I wish I was different too." He wonders how life would be if he was different, a lot easier, so much easier.

"You can be upset if you want, I can hear you." His hearing isn't the problem. The feelings will come back slowly, he hopes, although it could come all at once, and he'll have to deal with it when they do.

[techmaturgy]

He sort of gets it, he thinks. Of course Jayce doesn't want to be shutting down at a time like this. Clearly this is something he can't control. Still, Viktor can't help but boggle about Jayce's ability to make this about him, and his shortcomings, when the actual task they were given at the party is so far from his mind. Who cares who did or didn't activate their device? That had no bearing on what Thorne chose to do. That's what Viktor is angry about.

"I like you exactly as you are," he says, and there's an edge to his voice that indicates he is not necessarily willing to entertain another referendum on Jayce's flaws, not when everything that's happened is so much bigger than the both of them.

Still, he continues to offer Jayce physical comfort, the grounding action of running fingers through his hair, even as his tone betrays his anger.

"I'm not going to let you sit here and blame yourself for something that isn't about you in the least. We have work to do."