abraxaslogs | promise me

[This takes place soon after this]

It is morning again and Viktor has been breathing steadily for hours, but Jayce's troubled look follows him when he decides to go into work. He has to ramp up the work on the Hexcore and talk with Tony about it, it's time for them all to start moving on what they've been putting off. Jayce always knew his healing was a stop-gap but it's suddenly become very real that they couldn't live in blissful ignorance forever. Jayce reassures him that he is going to go to the academy and talk to the research assistant today. He plans on it.

However, for his own reasons, Jayce lingers in the apartment, and he waits. It isn't obvious that he is waiting for Caitlyn to get up until he hears her moving around and gets the blender ready to make her some coffee. It was Viktor's idea to start making strange new coffee beverages, and they have it in their home, so it's easy to get to.

Jayce hands her caffeine when the door opens and his eyes are very troubled, his expression soft and sad. "Sorry but ... we need to talk." He's just so thankful she's there, is the truth, and that he doesn't have to mince words when it comes to Viktor's illness.

Edited 2023-01-10 01:15 (UTC)

It's been a little tense around their apartment recently and for good reason. While maybe there's a lot she doesn't fully know about the situation. Caitlyn knows enough. Some things, are inevitable with a sickness like this.

For her part, she's tried to stay quiet, but helpful. Not wanting to add to the situation, but making sure they both know she's there for any support they might need. The morning starts off fine, but also there's a heavy atmosphere at the same time. Something itching at the corners of her intuition.

She hears the grinder, hears someone moving about. The footsteps make it easy to tell who. Jayce. By the time she's dressed and in the public spaces, she's fully prepared for him to appear.

"Of course." She takes the cup with only the smallest of smiles. "Thank you." Because even in tense times, manners are important. Truthfully, she's still more of a tea drinker. But even Caitlyn can admit that Coffee is a nice way to start the morning.

"I'm all ears." She can tell a few things, just from his tone of voice, his expression, and his body language. But just assuming is no good. Plus, maybe he needs to actually say it. Not have it sleuthed out of him.

Viktor came back from Luna not doing well, but they definitely tried to convince themselves it was the bad winter weather. His lungs have never done well with cold air and he was forced into it for days. It was logical to think that it wasn't anything more than a cold coming or a bad lung week. But after Viktor bleeding from his nose and coughing it up, and the reality that his healing isn't fixing it, it's now come to this.

"Sorry it's not tea, we're out. I can get some later." Honestly Jayce is in one of those states where he's forgetting a lot of details, it's the anxiety. The overhanging worry. He's not entirely there, but he wants to be, he has to be. He focuses on her. Normally he'd handle this alone but he can't. And also, if she's going to live here as Viktor degrades, it'll be important.

"Viktor's getting worse again. We thought it was Luna but ...." Jayce takes in a sharp breath, letting it out, swallowing. Putting words out there seems so real. "He's ... we knew it was going to happen someday, I can't heal the damage." He could only stop it from getting worse.

Maybe if he can just spit it out. Maybe. Except he can't. Apparently he wants to put words together and he doesn't say them.

"Coffee's fine, Jayce. And I can just get my own tea." Though maybe an outing for something mundane might do him some good. Give him something else to think about. So quickly she amends, "Or we can always go together. You might get a better price from the merchants than I would."

Not that, historically, either of them have been very good at talking the prices of merchandise down. But he's more known here, maybe his reputation will help.

Setting the cup down gently, she places her hand on his arm. Squeezing slightly, reassuring. Everything he's going through? She'd be there for him 100% without question.

"Is there anything I can do? Anything you need me to do?" Though she's even more powerless to fix this than even he is, but whatever little she can do to help, will be done. She owes them both this much. More.

"You had a plan, right? Things you've been working on. You'll beat this, Jayce. You both will."

And she's convinced of this, Caitlyn's faith in Jayce and Viktor unshaking even despite the obvious ailing Viktor's been going through recently. All steps, sometimes you couldn't know the end result until it happened after all. There's a process to these things.

Honestly Jayce doesn't know how he's standing right mow. How he's talking and thinking and existing. He doesn't have the best track record at knowing how to respond to trauma so perhaps he's going through the motions and that has to be enough. He is keeping sane. Viktor still has time. They can still fix the Hexcore. He feels far away for a moment and then back to her when she touches his arm, and he remembers to breathe.

"Yes, the Hexcore. It's almost complete. I have to get the crystal to power it." That is his task. He can stay on task. Jayce knows in order to get it he is going to do something shady, that is a reality they have already acknowledged to one another. But anything is worth it. "Then there are weeks of testing as he steadily declines, it's a race against time." Viktor has to make it, the weaker he is when they do it, the worse it'll be.

Jayce finds that his legs don't feel that solid so he is wise enough to find a chair and sit in it heavily. He put on a brave face for Viktor, acting as confident as he ever can be, but he puts his face in his hands. With Caitlyn, it's another story. "If this doesn't work there's nothing else. I can't do anything else."

"Right. The Hexcore." Which honestly? Caitlyn knows next to nothing about the thing. Other than the fact that it's clearly important and that it's clearly the main pivot for the plan to keep Viktor from dying. So whatever it is, it's clearly powerful. And priceless. Which means there's any number of things that could go wrong with it.

"But if it's a race, that means you can win, Jayce." Her tone is no nonsense, Caitlyn at her most confident projection. The best reassurance she can be. "There's a chance and you're going to take it. And if I know anything about you two, which I do, then beating the odds and creating a miracle right when one is needed? That's what you two do."

The best part about this speech is that she honestly believes it. When it comes to Jayce, there just might be no one (except maybe Viktor) who has more faith in him than his little sister.

"If this doesn't work." Taking her coffee she settles into a chair next to him. Taking a seat with a much more delicate perch. "Which it will. We'll just find another way. Sometimes it's when things fail that you found the answer you were looking for before. If this doesn't work... that just means there's a different solution that'll present itself."

Is it that simple? Not exactly, but the premise is sound. In failure comes success. Caitlyn knows that all too well, as should Jayce. For now? For now, she's going to focus on keeping the faith. For all of their sakes. Someone had to do it. Funny it's the one who's often the most pragmatic, but sometimes events change people. Or people change people.

The Hexcore is honestly hard to explain even to people who know technology well. Tony has an explanation for it that makes sense in his technological jargon, somewhat, but since it is an item of both tech and magic, it is unique. Jayce knows better what it is now, but it will always be Viktor's first and foremost. His mind, his creation. It is connected to his body and the cure he's designed for himself.

"That's what I keep telling him and telling myself. We've made a name for doing the impossible. There is nothing we can't do together, and even more than that, we now have help from others." Nadine, Tony, Alucard, Stephen. It used to be only the two of them against the world. Jayce is relieved to have a bigger pool of people to lean on. "We have the best chance we've ever had."

A chance. But not a surety. Jayce has been good at being the optimistic one, stubbornly refusing to see anything else but an end goal they can both live with. He never shares his doubts.

"Back home, he tried to do this alone, and he got worse. The last time I saw him there, he had accepted he was going to die. And made me promise to destroy the Hexcore." The only thing that could save him, but Jayce agreed. It was a hard thing to ask of someone who so desperately wanted to save you. "I kept hoping maybe we could make this stop-gap last forever. So we didn't have to take the chance. This operation could kill him just as easily."

"A place that shouldn't be possible," Which is honestly a fair assessment for this world they've found themselves in. To Caitlyn, this new world still defies all matter of rational explanation. "Full of people who can make the impossible happen," Because this strange place seems to be full of people who defy the odds on the regular.

"If there's ever a time and a place for this to work, it's here."

Caitlyn is firmly in the optimists camp on this. The alternative something she's tried hard not to think about. It's been strange, but she's gotten used to her weird, new life in this place and she's hoping against the odds that nothing changes it for the worse. Which, Viktor dying? Would definitely rock her new, fledgling life to its core.

"But things can be different here. And you're taking this chance together now." Which to her is an important difference, both that they're together and that they're stubbornly taking the chance instead of just accepting that this is just how life is. Honestly, Caitlyn envies them this. Because in the end when her own life had come down to it. She hadn't fought hard enough to keep her chance and had let it, let her just walk away.

"Whatever comes next, we'll face together." Because she's committed now, no more walking away.

Jayce is usually firmly on the optimist camp with this too, mostly because of the concept of losing here is too much to bear. But he's been different since the Shimmer plant. A lot of his optimism died there, with the results of his actions, enough that he made a deal with Silco. And then accepted Viktor's death, he was at his lowest. Coming here seemed like a chance he didn't deserve but wanted to accept, but it didn't last forever.

"I'm going to have to make something I don't want to in order to get that crystal. A weapon, probably. It's my only way in. I promised it would be something we could both live with." Jayce has been approached already by this person to help make something for the army, and he refused before. Now he is the one asking, so he is the one who will have to make a lot more ground. "But there is nothing I can't live with, in exchange for his life." The question is where will the line draw for Viktor instead.

He takes in a deep breath and lets it out, reaching for her hand. Jayce often craves small gestures of affection when he's in turmoil, just something to ground him in the now. It's important that she's here, because he can't talk about this with others, not without Viktor's permission considering his condition. So much of this has been internal, something for him to carry alone.

"I'm thankful you're here. I feel very alone with all of this."

"A weapon for a chance at life." Familiar in a way, only in her case she'd had to give up her weapon to save a life. Not create one. But still, there was something all too familiar about the price. After all, a rifle as advanced as hers in Zaun was probably going to have unseen consequences in the future.

"It's not ideal certainly, but it's understandable." She'd do the same in his position. So it honestly makes sense. Sometimes you have to bend your morals. Morals aren't worth more, overall, to her than the life of someone she cares about.

As soon as he reaches out, she extends her hand towards him. Because she knows. And since being moral support and a sounding board is seemingly the largest thing she can contribute right now, well, she's not going to object. Instead, she's going to do everything she can to give him the support he needs.

"Well, you're not alone." Caitlyn squeezes his hand lightly. "And you won't be alone. We'll get through this. Together."

"Turns out I'm really good at making weapons." There is some bitterness in that tone but it's all at himself. He learned a lot of bad things about himself during that fight, including that he's incredible at designing and creating violence. It is not something anyone would want to know, let alone Jayce.

"Back home I ... I meant to tell you but things kept happening." They were always busy or she was adjusting or they were kidnapped away on a ship. "I waited too long to tell Viktor and it almost broke us up, as friends. I don't know if he'll ever forgive me." This was before their relationship. It required Viktor to forgive him before they could move on together.

"I made a Hextech weapon, a hammer. Your friend from the Undercity, Vi, she asked me to help her take on Silco off the record." To get around the Council who she knows refused either of them the ability to attack. But Caitlyn probably saw how angry he was, how desperately he wanted to do something. It didn't take much. "We destroyed a Shimmer factory. People died." They killed them. "He wanted me to promise I'd never do that again."

Make weapons. Choose violence. Jayce feels enormous guilt over what happened, it made him spend many months completely wrapped up in self-hate, in disgust at himself. Despite coming off as arrogant, he has a lower self-esteem than it seems, so it was easy to hate himself. He's come to the other side of this as a learner.

"I need you to ...." He sighs and holds her hand. "I'm telling you because he's afraid if I lose him, I'd go down a dark path." And Jayce hasn't exactly dissuaded him. He just doesn't know what to do with all of this pain. His anger has never been safe to go anywhere either. "I don't want that either."

"When it comes to making things, there's very little you're not good at, Jayce." Normally, she'd never praise him quite this openly to his face, but with everything that's going on she'll make an exception. This once.

"You're one of the smartest people I've ever met. When you put your mind to it, you'd be good at creating anything if you really wanted to do it." So that happened to include weapons, well... maybe try being less of an amazing genius inventor and scientist then.

"Go on." She's reserving her judgement for now. Wants to give him time to explain, give herself time to listen and really absorb what he's clearly been worried about telling her. As if he hasn't had enough issues without this. So she does. There's a small pause before she speaks, picking her words with caution.

"That sounds like a plan Vi would make." For all Caitlyn can't imagine killing anyone or any of the people she knows killing people. Tackling Silco off record? Is exactly Vi's style. If there's a hint of fondness to her voice as she says this? That's her business.

"We all make mistakes Jayce. Have things we regret. There's nothing I can say or do that you haven't probably already told yourself since it happened. Except this." A soft squeeze of her hand, the smallest of smiles. "I'd say I forgive you, but really the main person who's forgiveness you need now is your own. You've learned from the event, grown from it, and have helped loads of people since. You're not the same man you were then, now. Maybe it'll never really be okay, but... forgive, and don't forget?"

Maybe she's never killed anyone, but given her career path and recent events, she's put a lot of thought into how she'd feel, what she'd do, if she ever.... she'll spare him the 'sometimes there are necessary evils to accomplish good' life talk, because she's still not sure she believes that one either.

Then she stops, listens, and nods. She understands, can see why they'd both think like that. If she wasn't here...but she is, and that means she has a certain amount of sway and power over that hypothetical future.

"You can trust tHat no matter what happens, I'll be there for you. And I won't let you do anything that's against your beliefs. Or that's just outright bad for you." Which might not be the easiest task, but out of anyone she's probably the only person outside of Viktor who can say those words and actually accomplish them.

"Usually I'd do anything for a compliment like that." Caitlyn doesn't give them often and he can be heartfelt about that while about to confess something dark. Jayce can create incredible things. His mind has always been so bright, his hope so high. He saw things that to everyone else were impossible. But he didn't have the wisdom yet to understand that isn't always a good thing. It was a bitter realization, knowing in some ways Heimerdinger was right about him. Moderation has never been his way.

"It was her plan, but I wanted it too. I just wanted to do something, anything. I was so tired of feeling helpless." Jayce was thrust very suddenly into a position of power and authority, and yet he found out immediately he couldn't really do much with it. That came with red tape and he found himself trapped faster than he expected. Between what happened on the bridge, when Caitlyn herself nearly died, and the reality of losing Viktor, he was out of control. Nothing he did was good enough. Vi gave him the easy way out and he took it.

Maybe a part of him wasn't sure what Caitlyn would say, but in the end, he's not surprised at how kind she is, how forgiving she is. That's why she has always been the better person.

"I'm not sure forgive is something I can do, but I've tried to find a way forward. A better way." Jayce wonders if forgiving himself would mean that he's just decided it was okay to kill a child, if that's holding him back. But he has turned it around to focusing on doing the right thing now, on doing penance by remembering the better parts of himself.

"It's not either of your jobs to keep me from making mistakes, but ... I'm still grateful to have you." And if she leaves, if they both leave, he'll find a way forward, in their name. Jayce does hate himself a lot less than he did months ago. That self-hate turned into normal guilt, and it remains, but it's bearable. He's able to get through weeks without having bad dreams now.

"He said he kept us from going here before in part because he thought it was selfish. Being with me when he knew he was going to die." Jayce learned so late, Viktor never planned on telling him at all. "I'm not sorry though."

"I'll keep that in mind." Maybe it'll be a present one day. Compliment vouchers. Good for one sincere compliment of Caitlyn's choice when he wants one. Though when he needs them, she's usually pretty good at being there. Because being there for him is kind of her thing. Has sat in the rain for hours to prove it.

It's something Caitlyn knows all too well. Jayce's issue with moderation, more or less. But as he's said, it's not her place to keep him from making mistakes. Plus, she has her own issues too so it's not like she's Little Miss Perfect or anything.

"I know the feeling. All too well." That feeling of helplessness. The accompanying anger, yes she's all familiar with them as of late. It's part of what drove her to the undercity in the first place. Forsaking her job, her oath in the search of answers and the truth. Consequences be damned. It's only luck that her excursion doesn't seem to have had the terrible outcome of Jayce's... yet. Though, perhaps the events recently are partially her fault. For pushing. For going. But... well, that's the past and it's not like she can really tell here.

"Sometimes forgiveness comes with time. You might not be ready now. But maybe one day. No one said healing was a quick process." And if they did, they were lying.

"You're right, it's not and I don't particularly want it to be." Because that'd definitely impact their relationship and dynamic. Something she's pretty happy with how it is already. "It goes both ways. I can be there for you and you can do the same in return, but we can't live each others lives for each other."

Which is a good thing, because they'd have both picked very different lives for each other. ~~That were probably comp het even and how weird would that be?~~

"And as long as I'm here or there, you'll always have me. Even if we're not physically together." A bond like theirs isn't something to be hampered by something as insignificant as time or space after all.

She winces slightly in commiseration at those words. The good old 'I decided this for your own good' kind of thing. But at least this one was a little more understandable.

"I know what it's like when people decide things for you, even if they think it's for your own good." A pause, a small twist of her lips. "Maybe especially so then." After all before Vi it was Jayce and her mother. Often trying to make the choices for her. Keep her from the dangerous things and the like.

"I'm glad you got another chance, despite his initial reservations."

Honestly, she's a little envious of this. That they got this second chance. Maybe one day she'd get to have one too. Oil and Water her bum! Just let her see Vi again, she'd tell her what for!

"After, when I saw all the carnage I created, I told Vi it was over. She pointed out to me that it was never going to be over, and that I was responsible for putting my head in the sand like everyone else." At the time Jayce had been so angry, he wanted to put his rage places, and in truth, if he was anyone else, it might have been easy to blame her for everything. That it was her fault. But he's never thought that, not for a second. It was his responsibility, through and through.

"I know she was right, but it just wasn't something I could keep doing. I let her take my Hextech gauntlets. She said I'd have to kill her to get them back, and I didn't want that. I guess, in a way, I was still rooting for her." That sounds crazy, he knows, it didn't make sense really. Nothing he did during that time makes proper sense. It was a lot of emotions and pain and bad decisions. They were all children who inherited the damage of their elders. Only the Undercity felt it.

"She said she came to me because you trusted me." And even if what they did was not something Caitlyn approved of, in that moment, the two of them were on the same page. Which is to say that Jayce doesn't disapprove of Vi, if that is what Caitlyn could think from their bad actions together. He doesn't know if they could be friends, but they did get each other.

As for the doing things for your own good, Jayce does have the good sense to look guilty. He knows that he was one of those people, trying to curb Caitlyn to 'protect her' in his mind. And he still feels that drive, it's difficult not to, but he knows now it can't happen. "I promise, I don't plan on making that mistake again with you." Besides, Caitlyn can beat him up! She can handle herself.

"Me too. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but we have to save his in order to do that." Otherwise Viktor will be spending the rest of his life with Jayce, it will be a tragically short one.

Caitlyn winces in sympathy. That... definitely sounds like Vi.

"She can be.. a little blunt." Which is , of course, putting it lightly at best. "But she's also wrong." Which wasn't new for Vi. Who had a tendency to be a little short sighted sometimes. The immediate future was all that existed and was all that would ever be. "Maybe it didn't seem like it then, but Piltover won't always be in such chaos. Things will be put to right and the people will have peace, safety."

After all, it's not like they live in Noxus or something. No one in Piltover, or even in Zaun, craves constant conflict. Not really. Not enough of them to matter anyway.

"She's good at that." There's a warmth to Caitlyn's voice, a genuine fondness. "It's easy to believe that she can do anything, isn't it?" Bigger than life really. Kind of like Jayce. So much more and when they said they'd do the impossible Caitlyn couldn't help but believe them.

For a moment Caitlyn just listens, processes. If a flush covers her cheeks at his next statement. That's her business. "Well, she's not wrong. Because I do." But hearing that her opinion was enough to sway Vi to a specific course of action? That's a little flustering. She's not even entirely sure why.

Okay, maybe she is, in fact, entirely sure why, but it's not something she wants to dwell on right now. Too embarrassing.

"Given a chance, I think you'd get along. If things weren't like they were." Or at least she sure hopes so. It'd be awful miserable for her if they don't.

"I didn't mean you. Well, not just you anyway. But it's appreciated." That's right. She can beat him up. Remember that! She might be youngest, but she's only slightly littler now. Something her mother might have bemoaned privately, her tall, lanky daughter who'd rather shoot things than politic.

"And you will. A nice long one at that. We'll make it happen." Nope. No dark thoughts allowed. He'd recover, they'd have a long time to be all sorts of sappy and in love and gross about it. Maybe even enough to chase Caitlyn out into an apartment of her own to get away from it.

"I don't mind blunt. I'm tired of people saying what they want me to hear."

It was extremely harsh to hear at the time, especially considering how low he'd fallen and how filled with self-hate he was. But Jayce also didn't give in and keep going on their path of violence and death. If she continued hers, that was her choice, but it was too much for him. Jayce doesn't have the stomach for actual violence, he learned that much, especially after Libertas. He also doesn't want to be a politician anymore, for the same reason.

"Maybe we could have gotten along, but I planned on making peace with Silco, which obviously is counter-productive to what we did." Although in many ways he thinks what they did is exactly why the man agreed to show up. Or he thought he would. Jayce knows it sounds insane set out like this, but he sighs. "I planned on offering the Undercity the independence they needed. Let them govern themselves, have their own trade routes, and not be under our thumb. I don't know if the Council will listen to me anymore, but I thought that was the only way."

Silco was evil and dangerous, but as far as Jayce knows, there was no one else in the Undercity that he could negotiate with. If there was, he would do it in a minute, to stay away from the man. He didn't know how they could destroy Silco and then offer the same thing to a broken leaderless Undercity. It was all shitty options at that point.

"Piltover has failed them, you said it yourself. I don't think we can fix it, and I don't think the Council would have actually bothered." So this was his way of trying to outflank their indifference. Maybe it sounded like a horrible deal with the devil, and it was, but Jayce thought of every possible angle. He just wanted to make things better, but the Council broke everything too much. It couldn't be pieced back together by them.

Jayce stands again and this time he pulls her into a hug. He could use the contact and his fears haven't gone away but she has managed to inspire some of his optimism and confidence again. "I plan to marry him, if we make it on the other end of this. Don't tell him, it'll be hard enough trying to get him to agree." Viktor agreeing is the problem, mostly because as much as he loves Jayce, it's just so formal of a thing. Much more Jayce's style, to want a commitment, ring, and wedding.

"The life of a politician, so I've heard."

Despite Cassandra Kiramman's desire for Caitlyn to follow in her footsteps, the negatives of the job haven't been spared her. Caitlyn's heard far too many lectures about reading between the lines, finding out what they don't want to say behind what they're actually saying. Which... she'd actually used in her job as an Enforcer. Which wasn't what her mother had intended, but it worked well enough for Cait.

"Peace with Silco." It's said in a neutral tone. Caitlyn never being one to really jump to conclusions one way or the other without time to consider things. Could it work? Should it? What would peace with Silco really entail? And how would it change things that desperately needed to be changed? She's not sure anything tied to Silco could end well, but maybe that's her own prejudice speaking.

"Independence is a good first step." That, at least, she can agree with. She's just not sure what an independent Undercity would look like under the thumbs of its Chem Barons.

"You're right. There's only so much we can do." More and more it was looking like there would be no easy option, no way to really win at least not any time soon. Not without some radical changes. But honestly? Those changes wouldn't come from people like them. Maybe that was part of the problem. People from Piltover thinking they knew better. Maybe it was best left up to the people who knew. People like Ekko and his crew, like Vi.

Hugs are good. Jayce hugs are especially good. She leans into him, squeezing him close. He's been a rock for her time and again over the years, being one in return? Least she can do.

"You should." She smiles at the thought. "I think if you keep the spectacle low, it'll help." No grand ceremony. No large reception. No real fuss. None of those are things that are really Viktor. "Once he agrees that is."

And he probably would. Eventually. Just maybe not at first. Either way, she'd help out the best way she could when it came time. Plus, it's nice to think about their future instead of worrying about their present. Focus on the possibilities. The things that would happen.

"Yeah. Turns out, it really wasn't for me." Honestly, Jayce never thought it was. From the start he felt very strange about it. He liked the attention, he convinced himself that any ability to make change by new power was good, but it never fit him. He was pulled away from his work, from what he really saw as his dream and meaning for being. Jayce was attracted to elements of it, and he thought he could make a difference, but in essence, it never suited him. In a lot of ways, he wished it never happened. He can't go backwards.

"I know. It wasn't my first choice, but I didn't know how else to do it. In our negotiation, I planned on forcing him to destroy the rest of the Shimmer factories. I know it'll never be perfect, but it's been wrong for a long time, Piltover controlling them without caring about them." This war started long before either of them were born, and yet they were born into it, with privilege. But it still wasn't their mistake. It would only be their mistake if they let it continue on. That he was sure of.

He holds her in his hug, glad to have it. When he thought he'd never see her again, Jayce would put in his mind his memories of her, so he could find some comfort in there. Now he can have it for real. He's shared more of his real life with her here, because they both have the time.

"You're not wrong. I don't care about the spectacle. Just him." Jayce smiles faintly. He has to believe in the future. He has to believe that they can be everything they were supposed to be. He promised Viktor he'd live in the now with him, rather than off in the future, but he's going to allow himself this one fantasy. A ring on their finger, a promise on their lips.

"I have to go meet him at the workshop, want to keep me company?" On the walk at least.

"I know I didn't react.... very tactfully to your appointment." Caitlyn admits. Because it's kind of true. "But it never felt like the right fit." At the time she'd wondered if it was just because she's so many personal biases against the position, but with time she's pretty sure that's not true. At least, not entirely.

"I'm not blaming you. Unlike what I thought when we were younger, sometimes maybe you really do just have to choose the lesser of two evils." Which is a big concession coming from Caitlyn, but that even when you get to the extremes there are still shades involved. Gray doesn't just exist in the middle. "And if it doesn't work....well, then we just try something else."

Maybe life isn't technically like Jayce's experiments, but maybe there's something to be learned from all that time in a lab.

She doesn't have the prolonged absence, but even the small one she'd had back home had been strange. He'll always be a place of grounding for her, a touchstone if you will. And she's glad of it, hopes it'll never change.

"I know. It shows." After all, she's got a front row seat considering her living arrangements. Not that she's complaining. It's sweet, when it's not tinged with sadness and desperation. Something that, maybe, she envies a little bit. It looks nice. Not now of course, but... one day perhaps.

"Always." For all the teasing and grief they give each other "Perhaps I'll stop for tea on the way back." Maybe do some shopping, pick up a new book to read for fun. If she doesn't get distracted with something duty related in the process.

Jayce doesn't spend a whole lot of time in the Horizon these days outside of when they're practicing for the surgery, but occasionally it gets so overwhelming that he takes only a few minutes to breathe. When Kell arrives, Rio greets him as she does everyone, but she looks very worried. She circles around, anxiously, nudging at his legs and then shuffling off so he can be led to Jayce.

It is much rarer to find Jayce in his old apartment than anywhere else in the rest of it. It's because he so often focuses on being active in here, testing things in the forge or writing them in the lab, practicing magic in the meditation room. If he's in here it is only to think and rarely do people visit him here.

He is out on the terrace of the apartment, leaning his hands on the railing. Usually it's only above the tower that there are blimps or Piltover visions, but some of it can be seen now, more as if it was projected in front of them, not realistic in the slightest. Just something to look at. He is not surprised that Rio arrives to snuffle at him, but he is surprised she brought someone. Once he sees that it's Kell he understands. Kell would be allowed here.

He smiles faintly at him but there is so much sadness hanging over him, hanging over everything here. It is a lived in space and beautiful casual, but the creator's emotions are in the air. "This is where Viktor and I first met," he explains. "My apartment accidentally blew up."

Edited 2023-01-23 22:06 (UTC)

This is not Kell's first visit looking for Jayce. In theory, he knows they are very busy now, but he just can't sit in place waiting for the news. He has to try. Otherwise, the worry would eat him alive.

He's relieved when Rio appears. Kell can see from the first glance at her, even if he never had a pet in his life, that she's distressed as much as he is. The poor thing does not understand what's going on. Only that her people are suffering.

Then she leads him into the part of Jayce's domain, he's never been to. An apartment. Clearly a very private place. But Jayce is there and that's the only thing that matters. He tries to smile, but sadness hangs all over him like a dark fog.

Kell comes out to the terrace to stand next to him, resting his elbows on the railing.

"Nice view," he comments smiling back.

He raises an eyebrow deciding in split second to build up on even that tiny shred of levity until it's completely drowned in the sea of sadness. There's no way of telling if it will help. It had helped him in past so Kell hopes it will work for Jayce too.

"What did you do to blow up your apartment?"

Edited (eaten a word.. nom nom) 2023-01-24 19:24 (UTC)

"There are a lot of things about my city that aren't great. We have a long way to go." Things that he only became aware of recently, and when he says 'my city' he doesn't just mean Piltover anymore. He means both sides of it, even after giving Zaun its independence. "But I love it." Jayce wouldn't be here on this balcony looking into his home if he didn't. If he has his way, he will never see Piltover again except for in his mind. Viktor for Piltover. It's an easy trade, in truth.

As for his apartment, well, he does smile faintly.

"Thieves came in and they stole my Hex crystals. At the time they were completely out of control in their pure arcane magic energy, they dropped one of them on the floor and it exploded, and with it, half of my apartment."

So it's technically not his fault, outside of the fact he wasn't supposed to have them in the first place.

"No one knew about my research, they couldn't. What I was working on was considered crazy and impossible." Kell knows that somewhat from watching Jayce's trial and the way they talked about what he proved right. "This was a hell of a way for them to find out." After one of his crystals dropped callously to the floor blew a hole through his home.

"Heimerdinger sent Viktor to confiscate my research and get me arrested. He favored me heavily but he didn't want it obvious to the Council." He had to pretend Jayce was treated like everyone else before he gave his protege personal advice on how to get out of it. Kell knows the deal with Heimerdinger, both Jayce's love and disdain for the person who was nearly a second father.

"In typical me fashion, I never paid attention to anyone but my research and my ambitions. I never noticed Viktor, but he knew who I was."

Kell whistles.

"Oh, great idea. Send you genius assistant to confiscate work of another genius. Flawless plan, what could possibly go wrong."

Kell's opinion about Heimerdinger's choices, and his character, is not exactly flattering. He might have never met Jayce's mentor, but saints, did he ever know a person more out of touch with reality. So his sarcasm is nothing to be surprised about.

"But You found Viktor, so it turned out good for you. If a bit stressful in the process."

It's as far as the levity can carry him. There are things you just shouldn't joke about. Kell reaches to take Jayce's hand and squeeze it. His expression turns focused and serious.

"You will be fine," he declares. "You will get through this. I know it. You two are the smartest people I've ever met. You had dealt with risky situations before. You can do this again."

Kell has no idea if his words will help. They sure are wishful thinking. Even if very determined wishful thinking. As if he could wrangle the world into compliance by sheer force of his conviction. But he needs Jayce to hear that someone believes in their plan without doubt. That it will work, because it must work. Anything less than that is simply unacceptable.

"He was deeply surprised when the two of us scandalously used his own lab to prove our theory." Was it a little bit of a fuck you? Not then, no. They both respected him a great deal and knew he was trying to do the right thing, or at least at the time that was the feeling. But it was the only access they had to a lab and he had confiscated all of Jayce's work. This was their only chance. It was one of the best nights of his life.

"We did find one another. Twice now."

He remembers well last year when he was frantically going through Cadens, trying to find a way back to Piltover, because Viktor was dying and everything was going wrong. Only to find him alive right there. He never thought he'd seen Jayce again, after two months in an isolated other world. He never thought he'd live long enough.

Now it's all coming to a head. Jayce is quiet after Kell's words; he knows they are well-meant and he also believes them, most of the time. He thinks they are going to make it work, somehow. Jayce usually has to believe it too. He tries to make things just happen, if he believes hard enough. "I was supposed to fix him. It wasn't supposed to be so risky." Supposed to, because as usual, Jayce came up with a thought in his head.

"They don't teach higher level healing in Free Cities, I got as far as I could, but it wasn't enough." A part of him knows that Viktor wanted to be able to cure himself, but if Jayce did it for him, that still would have been good enough. No danger of the Hexcore or anything else, just Jayce using magic and saving the love of his life.

If he dies, it'll be because I failed.

Kell looks away. There's not much more he can say other than ... eh...

"It's always risky, Jayce."

Kell looks at the mirage of the city. Its tall spires, the silhouette of the other one in the distance.

"But we do it anyway."

In his encounter with death, Kell didn't have time to plan, to prepare, to think about risks. He didn't have to. He knew his chance of succeeding were slim.

"I'm a shitty healer. Back home, some say healing is the hardest magic to master. And I can't. It requires something I don't have. A measure of calm, a balance."

There are blood commands for healing. But none that he knows to bring people back from the dead.

"What I did to Rhy was not supposed to work. I used power that was not mine, power that was so dangerous we lost a world over it hundreds of years before. And it even didn't work all that well. It had some pretty nasty side effects. But I'd take Rhy being mad at me for the rest of my life over being dead. And I'd do it again. I'd do it a thousand times, even if it were to kill me. There's not a person in any of the worlds that exist that I love, or could love, more than Rhy."

He looks back at Jayce. Determination etched into every line of his face.

"That's why I think you will take that risk, and you will succeed. Because we're not that different."

Jayce took to healing naturally; it could be because the Horizon gave him strong healing right away, or he spent so much time and dedicated all of his attention to it magically, but either way, it flows through him so easily. It reminds him of how easily the ideas of Hextech came to him, or connected he was to his greatest invention. He might not have a balance, but his calm is very real when healing. To have it succeed for so long but then fail for him, it's difficult. They always knew it was likely, but it still feels like he was cheated.

He sighs and looks out into the fake image of his city. He does miss it. Cadens is not so bad and he has come to like the city for what it is. But it will never be Piltover. It's where he has accepted the rest of his life to be. Maybe some day he will come to love it the same amount. It's not even been a year.

"Back home, in that timeline, I found Viktor looking like he was days away from death. It was a drastic change from the last time I saw him. He was still fading but ... we had time. I thought." All of it happened over the course of a few days, that's the craziest part. The worst week of their life but it couldn't be slowed down or stopped. "Something happened. He made the Hexcore and whatever it did, it didn't cure him, it made him worse. He made me promise to destroy it, because he wasn't able to. He never explained."

So it meant that when he and this Viktor relived that memory, neither of them could understand what happened that would lead there. It had to have been worse than bad. "It was his only chance at survival, but he was choosing to die, and making me destroy it and therefore accept he couldn't be saved." It was selfish, in a way, to put Jayce in that position, but it is because they trusted one another. He needed him, and they both always stepped up for one another. It haunted Jayce for a long time when he got here, that memory. Viktor won't live back home. He can't.

"All I can do here is hope that the Hexcore he made here, with all of our help, is different from the one he made alone. Because ... I think it was evil, Kell. It's a strange magic-technology artificial intelligence, it did something to him." Jayce couldn't understand because he wasn't there. He was doing other things. But he's clearly concerned about it, despite the fact they are going to use it anyway. As of right now, the Hexcore hasn't given any indication of menace. But maybe it didn't back home either until it was used.

"I'm going to destroy it as soon as he's out of the woods, just as I promised. We're going to take the risk." There's no question about that! "But if it doesn't work, it's over. He'll die on the table in front of me."

But he will die for sure if you don't try. Isn't it the reason you're going for all this risk?

It's true, but Kell has no heart to say such cruel words to Jayce. Not now. Not ever.

"That's the thing with magic. It's inhuman. It can feel greedy and selfish, even evil, but it's because it's pure potential, a force that craves. It has all the power to realize its wants, but it can be swayed to human ends. Humans can shape this potential into what they want. But it can also sway humans to feed it, to be no more than fuel for it. It depends on what they put into it. If they feed it fear and desperation, it will amplify that, and it will destroy them. That's why it's better to have more people if you plan something big. It's not only power that is needed. It's balance. If the group works well together, they will balance each other out. And you have that. You have enough people helping."

There is a very real possibility all that effort can just in the end be not enough. But Kell's usual solution to such problems - not thinking about it - is not something he'd like or even want to propose. He has no idea what he would do if Rhy died.

"What I'm trying to say is I hope it will work out fine. I'm not trying to sound smart or pretend I have all the answers. All I know is magic of my own world. Just... whatever happens, I wanted you to know I'm here for you."

Jayce isn't spending a lot of his time in Nocwich this time around because of everything that is going on in Cadens, but he promised to bring Wanda a gift, and he meant it. Although there may be unconsciously another reason he is striving to find her, a source of comfort already from when he and Viktor stopped speaking. It can be multiple things. Jayce is waiting by the inn and even from a distance it is clear to those who know him something is up. He is slumped as if from some unseen weight, tired and anxious, and his spirit is low. His clothes are a little wrinkled and not entirely clean, little details that show signs of something that is off.

He does have a box thought, neatly wrapped, with a gift inside he made for her. He plans on giving Matt's separately once he pinpoints exactly what he wants to make, but he had a headstart for her. Jayce already planned on making his loved ones special items out of the Luna metal and most of Cadens has a piece by now, but he can only give it to Wanda at certain times of the month.

The Hexcore heavy planning and making is already well underway and while he helps on several parts of it, Tony and Viktor are designing elements of it without him. His only real goal, the most important job, is something he is in the works with, and he'll probably be able to get it on Monday. If all goes well. It's hard to think about anything else right then, but he really does want to think for at least a few minutes about seeing a friend.

Edited 2023-01-10 01:25 (UTC)

As usual, when the portals to Nocwich open, Wanda is quick to make her way there. Anything, in a way, to skip over the mundanity of the commune, but also because she gets to meet up with people who have become increasingly important to her. Jayce had her promise earlier in the day to meet him so that he could satisfactorily hand over his gift, and Wanda was past the point of telling him what to do and what not to do.

All seems well; however, when she approaches the inn, she can already tell that something is wrong. It's the way Jayce stands, how he looks a little more haggard than usual (which is anything slightly left of perfection), and so her steps quicken, until she stands before him, a plain and obvious concerned look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

Jayce is a terrible liar and he has never been good at hiding his pain. His expression may be hard, his jaw a little tight, but the story is there for all to see, especially eyes as observant as her. Sorrow, not anger. Crushing sadness, but no guilt, not like the time he came to her about Viktor. He hasn't slept well since the day Viktor coughed so hard he almost passed out, and they knew their good times were over.

He should have known better than to think he could hide it from her, but maybe he didn't want to. And it couldn't hurt to let people in Viktor's life know, because he is terrible at reaching out, even now. Jayce offers her the box.

"Open this first and then I'll explain."

Inside is a delicate bracelet, deceptively simple, of Luna's famous dark metal. The bracelet itself is designed to look a little like adjourning leaves, but the clasp is the important part. A large W held together with a P in the middle. A nod to her brother, on the birthday he wasn't here for. Sentimental.

"It's a unique metal, it amplifies magic and it also protects against it. I know you've got that in spades, but it reacts faster than instinct." Jayce put a protect enchantment on it, in case she's ever taken unaware.

Wanda hates the idea that something that should bring her joy is laced with the idea of bad news, but—that's just how things are, aren't they? She decides to humor Jayce, taking the box that he offers her, and opens it; she didn't often get birthday gifts, not since she was much younger, so this is certainly something that she accepts excitedly, bittersweet as the feeling may be.

W and P on the clasp.

Wanda and Pietro.

She stares at it for a moment longer as he explains what it is, its unique metal attributes, what it can do— he's barely done explaining and Wanda moves forward to wrap him up in a tight hug. This bracelet could literally save her life or something else as miraculous, but she's still bruising the emotion that she feels at seeing the letters with her name and her brother's.

"Thank you," she says quietly against the fabric of his clothes.

Jayce would typically spare her the sadness that he has, but she's too observant, and beyond that, he has no idea if Viktor will be willing to reach out to those he cares for. He struggles with that, with allowing people to care for him, and Jayce wants better for him.

But this present is about Wanda, not about them. Jayce only sometimes creates jewelry, it isn't his specialty, but he has been designing more these days due to the new metal. Bracelets, necklaces, anything that could look deceptively nice but secretly be magically relevant. She will have an amplified defense mechanism. Yet, he knows it's more than that. He made it to be more than that. She spoke of her brother and this is a birthday without him. Maybe having this reminder in a simple way, not always unpleasant, will help.

The fact she immediately hugs him tells him the symbolic meaning was appreciated. Jayce wraps her up in his arms and smiles, grateful that his instinct was right. He can be a very sentimental person. Sometimes that works for him. Wanda is dear to him and he holds her gently. "You're welcome. Happy birthday. I'd love to hear some stories about him, some day."

Wanda stays in his embrace for a moment longer, basking in the warmth and sentimentality that she feels exuding from him. Amidst the sadness that he carries, there is a very real care for her in all this.

She nods, happy to one day talk about Pietro a bit more. Sometimes the memories of him catch her off-guard and helpless to do anything but feel the turbulence of their effect on her, but this much she could probably do one day with Jayce, if she's prepared for it.

Now, she pulls back, the bracelet held tightly in a fist, and she looks up at him.

"Perhaps you can tell me what bothers you first," she says in turn, because she can feel it so prevalent over the rest of his emotions.

Jayce is someone who understands the value in speaking of the dead. He has nothing but good memories of his father, who died when he was a child, and he felt that always remembering him was the way to keep him alive. It's why he feels such a proud connection to the Talis Family symbol too, and puts it on many things. Besides, he thinks that Wanda's brother had to be something special, considering who she is.

He is glad that he could see the impact of his gift before he gets to this next part, so she knows that this was about her first. Jayce looks down at her and takes in a deep breath, shakily letting it out.

"Viktor's fading. The healing isn't working anymore. We always assumed his illness would adapt and push on, and it happened. We're hastily working on the Hexcore and figuring out how to fix him medically and magically." Well, the Hexcore isn't magic per se, but Jayce's magic is part of it. This is all said in sort of starts and stops, blurted out from an emotional place, and then paused.

"If we can't cure him by the end of the month, it's over."

The project that they had been working on, it comes to mind to Wanda fairly quickly, as Jayce speaks of what it is that they have been doing—the reason why they've been doing it. Truth be told, Viktor didn't look great the last time she had seen him in person.

It's easy in the Horizon to mask away imperfections and health issues. This much catches her by surprise. She can see how troubled Jayce sounds.

What is worse? Not knowing when death will come, or knowing the exact time and date of its arrival?

Wanda reaches out with a hand, places it on Jayce's cheek. She can feel the tension, the emotion, just under the surface. He's not doing well, is he?

"Then you should go be with him, and focus your efforts on the Hexcore," is what she says. She appreciates him coming here to meet her, but — she can tell where his heart would rather be, right now.

The truth is his heart may know where it wants to be, but it's aching too. Getting some fresh air was necessary, his mind has to be clearer if he was going to be able to accomplish anything. That is one of his fears right now, that he isn't at his best, so dragged down by fear and sadness.

"I'm not the only one involved in the surgery, there's a lot of balls flying through the air. We don't have a surgeon we can use in Cadens, so Strange is helping walk us and Nadine through it. There's still testing happening." There's Alucard too and his serum. So many things going on at once. It's why he could take a few minutes to come here, he is not a part of every single thing leading up to it.

Jayce sighs and touches her hair to his cheek, closing his eyes briefly. They're burning so by the time he opens them again, there are tears shimmering. He has never really been ashamed of crying, which is a good thing since he is a sensitive man and prone to it. Anyone would feel that way about this.

"It honestly will be a miracle if we can pull this off, Wanda. Everything is against us. We don't have the right doctors or the safest equipment, we barely know what the Hexcore really is." For someone who tries so hard to be optimistic, he's struggling.

Scientists, for all the logic and reason that they use, tend to confer with terms such as 'miracles' quite often, don't they? von Strücker was guilty of it before—now Jayce. Wanda doesn't know about miracles or not, but she knows that one forges the path one intends to take, for better or for worse.

She glances up at him.

"Don't speak like that." About what could go wrong, about all the things he's uncertain about. "There's something magical about hoping and positive thoughts, silly as it may sound."

Perhaps it was different with her, with her probability magic, but Wanda inherently used wistful thinking to stop the second bomb from exploding in her apartment.

"Just try, okay? And — if you want to separate from the situation for a moment, we could... have something to eat. Something indulgent? Sweet? Spicy?"

Jayce laughs but it's a watery sound. "It's not silly, usually I'm the idealist." And he is. For a scientist, he's remarkably full of hope and able to see what seems impossible. He witnessed a miracle that saved his life, and then he made it happen for himself later on. So he really does usually have a positive attitude. It's just difficult when fear is so powerful in him right now.

He sniffs and nods, looking down at her with his best attempt at a smile. "Please, let's just have a bite. You can tell me what you think I could make Matt for his birthday." A distraction honestly for even a half hour could be good for him. "I was thinking a better walking cane, with some magical enchantments and better metal, I could make his life much easier."

promise me

For Caitlyn

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Maybe we can wrap on this one since we have the newer one :)

Completely fine by me!

For Kell

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wrap here?

Thumbs up

For Wanda - Nocwich weekend

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we can wrap on this!