abraxaslogs | Reality doesn’t always give us the life that we desire

"Well, lucky you, I don't think there's currently any other psionics in Thorne that can witness and fall for my beautiful mind and link minds with mine so that I can trust them in general and trust them with my true form," he says blandly.

It is excessively obvious that Lucifer thinks Istredd is being very dumb.

But, he supposes, Istredd was already making that point in his own way.

'You deserved to know someone loved you.'

So it just figures that Istredd throws him a little off-kilter with his words. He's really good at going that, it's not fair.

"Thank you," he says, which is--well, maybe not something you're supposed to say to continued proclamations of love, but, "really, I--thank you."

"It's true, I really hit the niche market," he says blandly back. Istredd still can't help but touch him as much as possible, something to do with his hands, and his greed. So much skin-to-skin is really spoiling him. Sharing a bed in general has been spoiling him.

"I want you to feel safe to talk about it if anything does happen. I promise my irrational reaction won't last." He did manage to shrug it off, although they needed to have this conversation before continuing. Istredd hopes in truth they don't need to do that, some part of him is always going to be possessive.

Istredd doesn't expect anything from him when it comes to his confessions or words. He says them because he means them. It makes him feel better too, to speak truths. Hiding didn't feel good in the slightest. A rejection would have stung but it was survivable.

"Thank you for not minding that I'm putting it all out there. Not everyone would be comfortable with that." Emotionally constipated people for example! Which they sometimes are. Istredd smiles at him and slides a hand into his hair and then cups his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Are you okay with telling some of our friends? I want people to know you're my man. Also I already told Kell.

"You mean you promise your irrational reaction won't be the last," he corrects.

They are very different people who very much share certain... qualities. Lucifer is very particular about his personal space but that has been lessening over time.

Maybe he should warn him about Lenore.

... Naaaaah.

"It's as you said: it's new." It doesn't bother him, it's more interesting and surprising than anything else at the moment.

By all means. They are never going to get any sleep at this rate, not that he's complaining. They're going to wonder why you're telling them the obvious. I wasn't aiming for subtly.

"I won't have an irrational reaction forever." Istredd does have some faith in that. Most of it is about insecurity. This is new and exciting and special, and Lucifer knows he struggles with the way he sees himself. Once he gets to a place where he thinks they're solid and on the same page, he probably will relax more.

"I think I'll be fine with it platonically, half of the problem was me thinking you were going to kiss." It felt like someone walking on his turf, so to speak. He isn't mad at Kyle, that much is clear. It was panic more than fury. "Kyle's attractive and interesting." Lucifer might not actively notice people being handsome, but Istredd has eyes.

He laughs both physically and mentally. He mischievously smiles. I'm going to bang pots or ding a glass at breakfast tomorrow and announce we're in a relationship. Cue everyone going we know.

It's a good thing they're both very old then.

"If you say so," Lucifer says in regards to Kyle, on both accounts. Lucifer would give the guy 'competent' over 'interesting' but hey. That's him.

...

And then Lucifer bites Istredd's lip, enough to bleed.

I will. Throw bread. At your head. If you even try.

Both very old, but both act like children.

Istredd's spark of pain is mixed with surprise and he jabs a finger into Lucifer's side much the way he was jabbing Istredd only moments before. They are extremely mature individuals. Of course it's illogical that his immediate response outside of that is to pull Lucifer into a deeper kiss, ignoring the new sting in his mouth entirely.

As you throw the bread, I will make sure to tell them in detail how sweet you actually are. Just ruin that reputation of yours. He is 100% joking and there is no doubt about that. Considering Istredd has already stated he'd prudish about some aspects of their relationship, the idea of getting up in front of a group and being vulnerable about this precious relationship is never going to happen. Call Lucifer his partner? Yes. Acknowledge how he feels about him because it's obvious anyway? Absolutely. Not to mention Istredd wants to keep Lucifer possessively to himself. No one is allowed to know these secret things about him.

Still, he's messing with him, since he's allowed to do that. Istredd smiles and kisses him again, light and fun. I'll call you by a really stupid nickname.

He is not dissuaded in the slightest and licks up the blood while returning the kiss.

Maybe a change to my reputation would help. Everyone thinks of how 'sweet' I am while ignoring as I operate in the shadows... No one would believe it. While we're at it we'll just add how you would love to become a professional orator.

See? He can joke too.

Dare I ask what the top choices of nickname would be?

Edited 2023-05-01 02:29 (UTC)

Istredd laughs out loud although it's smothered by the bloody kiss in question but it does shake in his chest, running his hands up Lucifer's chest and then hooking them around the back of his neck comfortably.

No one would ever believe me. They'd think I've gone mad. Which he has, love mad, as already discussed. He comes up for air so he doesn't just keep getting distracted by Lucifer kisses. It's difficult not to get carried away. "No one would believe you either. Ow." A little whine about the bite not that it stopped him from kissing.

He considers. He's never given a nickname let alone a stupid one. "Lucy? Ferry?" Istredd grins at him, tickling his ear with his fingers. "My sweet angel."

He'll be happy to point it out, "You have gone mad. They thought that awhile ago. Honestly they'd probably just ignore you and keep eating."

He nearly bites him again for the pathetic, unbelieving 'ow.'

Instead finally rolls back to the mattress and stretches out along side Istredd again, limbs just as tangled together. "'Lucy' is not new," he says. "Though more from my brothers than anyone." He's sure it's come up in other contexts, but not many. "'Ferry' may actually be more cringe-worthy than the last one, congrats." He thinks it might be because it makes him think of a ferret instead of some piece of his name.

Istredd turns toward him and keeps close, reaching out to make certain the blankets are comfortably tucked in around Lucifer again now that he moved. A tender gesture for his always cold partner.

"No thank you to a brothers-leaning nickname. I don't want to remind you of angel drama when we're naked in bed together." He kisses his cheek gently. "Everyone in Thorne knows, you just didn't realize they were right, you were the last person to the party." Istredd knew they weren't only rumors, but on his end.

After a beat, he smiles. This does mean Michael knew before you. He immediately broke his rule about not bringing in angel drama.

"I will bet you my gift-bag potion Jack doesn't know," he says pointedly. His sometimes-student is far more oblivious than Lucifer himself. He'd bet that even if Kyle told Jack about it, he'd still not get it.

Ergo, he's not the last one to his own party, thank you very much.

He makes a face at mention of Michael. That's just uncool, man. He is never telling Michael there was anything other than his belief in the rumors going on.

"I don't know, we could ask him. He can be our test group on how oblivious you'd have to be." Istredd leans in to nuzzle at his neck and kiss there, content with how close they are. Maybe craving this level of skin contact is a small detail, but he is enjoying no layers between them.

We are definitely doing the breakfast here, I wonder if they'll let me sneak out to one more look at the library. Extremely unlikely. They are supposed to go right after it, but what if he skips some of the food to try that instead. Istredd's first true love is books. What I wouldn't give to have access to the university all the time. Wistful.

He's awfully sure Jack will be about as baffled, if not more so, as Lucifer had been.

You want to risk getting in more trouble? Because they're already going to be in trouble for their redecorating of their room, there's no question about it. I really am a bad influence, he jests. But there is a part of him that expects someone to say that eventually. He doesn't let that linger. There's plenty you could give, but not be worth it, even for a new mountain of books.

Who knows when we'll be allowed back here? Istredd sighs, still wistful. It's not as if they really let them have much interaction with the library or the university, so it would take time to get anywhere near what he'd need. But it still was something beautiful and new. He nibbles on Lucifer's neck lightly.

We'll have to ask Thorne to cover this if Hayle insists on being paid back. Which they will, and that is fair. They definitely can't. He runs his hand down Lucifer's arm and then takes his hand, holding it. "I'm still not sorry, you were beautiful." He's a tiny bit bashful, keeping his nose nuzzling at Lucifer's neck.

It was worth waiting for. Istredd would ask the same, but Lucifer didn't wait. He didn't think about it until it happened. "I'd say we're equally bad influences sometimes." Switching between talking and thinking is easy, at least when it's just them snuggling in bed and not doing something else. "I just seduced you, after all."

"Rude," he chirps, "I'm always beautiful." And an absolute gremlin trashfire, but a beautiful one, thank you.

'He didn't think about it until it happened' was the already-surmised difference between them. After his failed Apocalypse, Lucifer didn't have a lot to bank on for planning, or giving himself time for anything. He always tried not to end up back in captivity, but he had to play fast and loose with his life and his choices. Quick, lack of thought decisions.

"I think I had a hand in my own seduction." Lucifer that hardly makes sense. "But kudos." He pats a hand to Istredd's cheek, not shifting him from where he was focused. "A 'nobody' would have no chance."

He doesn't see a future where they get back here easily. He's not even optimistic Thorne won't tighten their claws in their Summoned once they're all back in place, Josselyn Concluded. But maybe, if he gets eyes into this city, he'll be able to find a reason to allow occasional travel.

Not for one second does Lucifer think this city is as pristine as it appears.

Istredd laughs into his neck and nips at it. "I should not be feeding your ego any more than I already have." But he may as well have heaped a whole lot of food into it tonight and every moment since they got together. Too much adoration, it could make him sick. But yes, very beautiful.

"I get it, I'm not a nobody. I'm your unparalleled object of affection." Istredd rests his head against his shoulder, bringing Lucifer's hand up to kiss the knuckles. "Your beloved crying ape." He teases. He can't joke about placeholder anymore, Lucifer has ruined that as something playful, but that's fine. He has many other things to pull from their conversations to make it snarky.

I would say I have to get closer to Ambrose so I could get more access to things, even out here, but from what I can tell, being friendly with him won't please his sister at all. And she runs Hayle.

"My ego's always hungry. Cannot be sated."

Lucifer needs more, wants more, maybe will get sick anyway because Istredd's more than--Istredd's simply more. The angels before his Fall fawning over him and the demon fanatics worshiping the ground he walked on nearly to the point where it bothered him to be in their immediate presence. Distance. He always needed an invisible wall between them and him, but he still wanted it all.

He pulls lightly at the hairs at the back of Istredd's head.

"I don't think you get it yet." After all, Lucifer said as much. He didn't know what Istredd was, couldn't put it into words or even complete thoughts to share between their minds. 'Unparalleled' remained the only fitting word. "But I won't let you forget."

His stomach twists, unreadable, at mention of Ambrose. "Nicknames my brothers use, not for bed; Ambrose? Also not for bed."

"You'll be getting a steady diet of my adoration from now on, don't worry."

Istredd knows that ego isn't entirely correct anyway. In some ways Lucifer is, he has a sense of drama and grandiosity, but he's also displayed to Istredd himself that he's deeply insecure too. That is mostly why he sees no problem in giving him compliments and all the affection he can handle. He's hungry because a part of him is starving for it. As an insecure person who never learned how to fake it, he does understand.

He smiles and lifts his head from Lucifer's neck to press their foreheads together, comfortable and content. "My ego on the other hand could use a little massaging, from time to time." The most confident Istredd's ever been was just displayed between them. Apparently sex is one of his top five confidence areas.

He is surprised to hear their typical political talk stops at Ambrose in here, but he hmms thoughtfully, deciding to give in since they're curled up naked in bed and he doesn't care enough to argue. "I didn't know we were making some bed rules, but fine."

"Mmmm. How kind of you. But I thought we figured out your ego being inflated would do no one any favors," he jokes. "I suppose we'll have to find a happy medium."

Ambrose is a particular complicated problem that Lucifer files into the category of Won't Talk About and very much will just shrug it off like it was nothing if it ever does come up. So, y'know, still feeding into their troubles with talking, but hey. They've already made some progress, and far as he's concerned, Ambrose is from before.

Also he does think the guy is incompetent (Yennefer's opinion heavily feeds into that) and a replaceable figurehead.

No one needs that in bed.

"You technically started it," he sings. "We already have some though, both unspoken and otherwise." He counts them with a finger each against Istredd's temple. "You don't let me be cold, I don't tap you unconscious."

"Not inflated to your level, maybe, but a compliment here and there wouldn't kill me." Istredd ruffles his hair. "You could say you like my eyes and not mention burning them out of my skull." Semantics! He is joking though, this was a part of a sweet moment with them, since Istredd was making it clear he wanted everything Lucifer was.

Istredd on the other hand sees Ambrose as someone who he can probably get something out of, if he plays it right. He's always dealt with him by asking Strange and Yennefer to play as mediator, but they shouldn't have to do that forever. It's probably partly because a part of Istredd does default to Brotherhood mentality, and Ambrose as High Mage does give off Mage Council vibes. Some things are unlearned with time.

"Oh is that the trade off? I definitely don't want you to get cold then." He drapes himself even more on top of Lucifer with that, a leg over his to hook him in. "I am never going to get over how snuggly you are." It is a delight compared to how much time it took them to get to PDA. Then they're in bed like this and Lucifer is all over him. It's perfect.

"Oh, but you should know I could burn your eyes out of your skull," he says. "It was very, very important." He is mentally laughing, but it does turn honest. Your mind is striking. A human mind matching up to mine? Not shorting out and flatlining that first time we shared thoughts? He kisses Istredd's forehead. Should've been impossible.

See, he can do things as asked. Sometimes. When he feels like. On a whim.

It's like asking a cat to behave and then not being surprised when the cat acquiesces or knocks your favorite mug to the floor, drink and all.

Boa-constrictor snakes have special heat-sensing pits on their faces that allow them to detect the body heat of their prey. They are nocturnal hunters. They rely on heat-sensing abilities to hunt in the dark. He wraps comfortably around Istredd with all four of his limbs. And probably his wings. They're very much a not-here deal, ethereal links, there when needed, perceived next-to-never. They kill their prey by cutting off their blood supply.

Sorry Istredd did you expect a normal response to Lucifer's 'snuggly' self.

Very Funny.

At least he's not (currently) cutting off your blood supply.

"I stand by what I said. If I could, I would." Hook up with his angel self. Getting Lucifer to genuinely laugh is one of the best feelings. For someone so prone to humor and dry wit, it's not easy to get him to relax this way. One of the special things for them.

Istredd didn't entirely expect him to give a compliment, he wasn't expecting one, but he is pleased. He likes compliments to his intelligence, considering it is important to him. He's cultivated his mind on purpose and he mentally preens. Well you were actively trying not to kill me and a part of you subconsciously wanted me to succeed. That helps. Maybe taking a little shine off the nice words but continuing to highlight the ways he's different will work. I guess that means we both fell for our minds first. Even if in Lucifer's case it was more about an interest in his brain rather than a falling.

Istredd listens to him explain about the snakes, deeply amused and also intrigued by where this is all going. He knows now that snakes are close to Lucifer's heart and he chuckles as he is completely wrapped up in his embrace. His fingers make soothing circles on his back, tracing patterns.

Should I worry that you might strangle me to death and then devour my corpse? It would be very rude.

I didn't need you alive that badly, he argues. Yet. Istredd was right at the time: what affected Lucifer affected him, but he was hardly a Necessary Factor. Lucifer's effort in the equation was mild. Everything else was Just Istredd. And maybe pushing that is just Lucifer slathering that shine right back on. It was very much all you.

But maybe he did take an interest in that mind. Who's to say?

(Eventually, Lucifer will be able to recognize and understand it, but not right now.)

He thinks about devouring Istredd and grins deviously. It would be very nice, he argues, with enough surrounding the thought that he's simply being contradictory just because he can. He likes it, what can he say. Just as he's begrudgingly adopted snakes as a connection to him, he's well-accustomed to the phrase 'devil's advocate'. Maybe even likes that one.

It's rare that he likes the things humans slap to his identity. He'll accept the ones he can.

Edited 2023-05-05 07:27 (UTC)

You probably haven't come across many humans who can do what I can. As far as what Istredd has heard of his world, there are demons and angels and perhaps other creatures, but not mages in the sense he has. But I'll take any and all compliments about my mind, I like to think it is my best feature. A feature very few people get to experience on Lucifer's level. Intelligence is a shield of his too, logic and facts over all else.

He smiles at that grin, he finds it very charming. His favorite smiles are the genuine ones, but he likes Lucifer's mischief a great deal. He has so few of it himself, so he likes their dynamic. Only if it's the fun kind. He raises an eyebrow at that, amused.

"Sometimes I can't believe I managed to hide my feelings from you as long as I did. I'm pretty sure I was sloppy with our bond and you just didn't know the difference." Lucifer's not used to this. He must have assumed the feelings were normal for a close friendship, and it is true. The romantic aspect is only a slight shift.

Maybe the fun kind, he allows.

He considers Istredd's words, thinking about ever time there was a slip of affection, something just a little off and out of place, but that--that was just Istredd. Arguably that had been Situation Normal from the man, far as Lucifer was concerned. Nothing specifically for Lucifer, nothing that wasn't just Istredd as Istredd when it came to friendship.

It's really difficult wading your way through first-time friendships when both your best friends are telepaths.

"Yeaaaaah," he drawls, mildly miffed. But then if he had recognized any of the slip-ups for what they were he'd likely have just stared at them in confusion and just let them go again. Because really, what the hell else was he going to do with them? Pick them apart? Talk about them like normal people?

Ha!

"Thaaaat... sounds the most likely." He thinks about their bond reestablished and finally seeing Istredd in Nocwich. "... You know, in hindsight, you were awfully sloppy."

Reality doesn’t always give us the life that we desire

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it's a wrap