abraxaslogs | I don't trust, but I see right in front of me

Istredd gives him a long skeptical look and stops, reaching out to take Lucifer's arm and stop him too. It doesn't matter they're in public, it's starting to get dark anyway, and he may as well be staring right into Lucifer's soul at this point. If he had one.

Let me be clear. Lucifer already told him exactly how he lied. He saw it for himself. It's the only way he's a good liar too, as they've already communicated. If the answer is no, that's fine. I have details of my own that I can't share with you. It's unfortunate, and sometimes it does make him deeply sad that he can't share everything with someone, no matter who it is, even the man he loves. But it is reality. He doesn't live in a fantasy.

Cirilla is going to be protected, no matter what. He may trust Lucifer with himself, but he doesn't trust him with her.

But don't try to play me. You literally told me how you lie on our way to the docks. Istredd releases him and continues on the walk back to the portal. He already mentioned how badly he handled feeling like Lucifer was playing him. He won't handle it well at any point.

For instance, you didn't know that Geralt's from my sphere and that I know him. I also know that he's been your go-between with the Winchesters. Surprise, he can actually keep things to himself. He's only mentioning it now because it is more public.

Edited 2023-05-18 03:24 (UTC)

Lucifer scowls at Istredd's back. He knows it isn't even the link screwing him over like he thought it might one day. Istredd knows him well enough physically to read the lines of deceit. It's one of those reminders, the one that constantly hounds him, asking the angel: is it worth it to be so known.

He swats away at it like a fly.

Congrats, Lucifer says, a little too sharp, you remembered the lesson even through your anxiety.

Hadn't he also wondered how capable he was at playing Istredd? Just what he would do?

But the mention of Geralt side-swipes him in a way he didn't expect and it's one thing being pit buddies, like Castiel, but it's another thing for them being from the same world, and that's just something else he knows is coming back to bite him, doesn't that just figure?

He also tried to kill me, he says airily. Twice. He waves a hand. Got a good taste out of each other in the Horizon; you two should compare notes on my blood. That was before I put my arm through his chest.

The other part of Lucifer's particular attitude that he didn't discuss with Istredd back in the bookstore is that he's recognized a tendency to, well, self-destruct. Istredd's been on the receiving end of that enough but it has been awhile and maybe the smartest thing for Istredd to do is just walk away for the moment.

Istredd glances at him, keeping pace. I know you. How many times does he have to make that clear? And maybe it is hard to be known and he gets that. He's only now being better at being known himself. It is probably clearer at the moment how he's let Lucifer do more of the opening up, and that isn't what he wants. He wants them to be on the same page (book, page, sentence).

You've called me out when I'm not being honest too. Refusing to talk about Kyle, struggling to admit to his insecurities. This is what he thinks a healthy-ish relationship looks like, if they want it to be. Just still ironing out the details.

But we should both remember in our infinite wisdom. A wry smile at that. Too much secrecy could put the other one in a position of collateral damage. So yes, if it's important, like a life or death situation, I think we should share. Istredd thinks that is fair. They don't want to lose each other, that is a major part of their relationship. Clinging to one another in the madness.

At the Geralt information, he nods. That sounds about right. He'd try to kill anyone who he thought was a threat to a loved one. Istredd can tell that about the man. They only talk about theories, but he's observant. He does raise his eyebrows though. We're not close. I mentioned this a while back, but I found out the monoliths in our sphere were gates. Geralt was with me at the time, we were investigating one. When I came here he was interested in my thoughts about the Singularity and how it connects to the monoliths. Not an extremely interesting relationship.

He doesn't want to make it seem like they're best friends. If Lucifer implied that that to Geralt he would be very confused. Witchers and mages don't get along traditionally. Look, now you know the word for what he is!

Edited 2023-05-18 04:22 (UTC)

He might, quite literally, have to always repeat it. Because every time Lucifer gets close to accepting it, he fights back against it.

Life or death, he says. That's all I can give you, reliably. Some things are safer not knowing, Istredd.

He means that, most of all.

To be fair, he admits with a sigh, the first time was after I went at Dean in the Hunting Grounds.

Justifiable, but also the first time he's mentioned anything about that day. He's still really pissed at whatever the heck was up with Dean and his wings and angelic-like powers.

I wouldn't call them loved ones. The second time in the Horizon he'd been afflicted under Sannleikr and stopped being so 'chatty.' But he managed to hold Dean back from shanking me on the boat, another thing he did not tell Istredd, it's when I found out Dean had the Mark and the First Blade, and I reached out to Geralt after that, because of you.

His mind does a lot of confused loops, grasping almost like gulping down air at the word with 'and mages.' What's a witcher?

I'm never going to be fully comfortable with that, but I accept it. I don't control you, like you said.

It doesn't feel good to know that his partner wants to keep things from him and he thinks he's doing it for Istredd's sake, when that doesn't feel like protection. He was being honest though. He would much rather know the truth and accept it than feel like the rug is pulled out from under him in a few months if it turns out he's been lied to. Better to live with the reality. That's true for both of them. Istredd is being truthful in that acceptance.

Oh answers after all this time. I assumed it was Dean. It sounds like it was and Geralt was there with him. That is one of the times they started to get closer, when Lucifer allowed him to help.

Geralt can be difficult and monosyllabic, but he is fair in how he deals with people. When Istredd was concerned he'd kill him, he still knew that it was a reasonable option. By saying that he means he isn't surprised Geralt protected him on the ship as well as tried to kill him in the Hunting Grounds. He does feel a surge of satisfaction at the reminder of what Lucifer did for him.

As for that, well. After the conjunction, when our spheres combined, a lot of monsters came to the continent from the other spheres. They were overtaking some parts of the map. Witchers were created to hunt and kill those monsters through supernaturally powerful skills and training. They were created by magic which is probably why there is a healthy amount of skepticism between mages and witchers. It's not really dissimilar from what mages themselves go through, only more brutal physically.

He is extremely dangerous. But fair. Geralt is indifferent to him, but Istredd generally respects him. Even if he finds him irritating. I wouldn't start a fight with him again.

It's as good as he's going to get and truthfully it does make him feel a little bit better, not seeming like he's always going behind Istredd's back.

And some stringy blonde thing, still don't know her deal. He saw her again, glaring at the three brothers at Josselyn's execution. She shot me point-blank with a crossbow. He pats his side, one of the two injuries that Istredd patched up. He does not mention his palm. Two different incidents.

"But!" He makes an annoyed sound, some of his animated nature coming back to him, slowly, as he gestures with both hands. He had wings, Istredd! Do you know how insulting that is? This irritating speck of a human who rebuffed my brother constantly to be his vessel, and the goddamn Singularity gives him wings!? And other abilities much like ours? I mean! What the hell! How was he supposed to just!! Let that go!!!

At least Dean and the rest of his posse had been equally shocked by the wings.

I've always wondered what he is--so of course you'd have the answer I wanted--and how Dean accepted him. My top-tiered demons, lets call them lieutenants, because 'Princes' would hardly mean much in this context, had yellow eyes. It was very disconcerting, but I knew he wasn't one of mine.

Just as he could tell Dante wasn't one of his, but there was definitely something demonic there, unlike Geralt.

It would be fun to have another Horizon fight, consensual, and without either of us under afflictions this time. He's a good match.

At first he thinks he's talking about Ciri, which would make him defensive, but stringy is not a comment anyone would make about her. Istredd guesses instead that it was Jo, who he met on the back of the turtle, but he doesn't know well enough to say for certain. She was grieving Dean, that was when they still thought he was dead. She seemed like a good woman, if brisk in her grief. Enough to talk to him when injured despite her feelings.

That group from what I can tell are all monster hunters of some kind. It isn't a surprise Geralt fell in with them. From what Lucifer said, Dean and his brother were hunters. Just like Geralt. Ciri must be close to them as well. He notes that for his own knowledge.

Istredd lets him rant about the wings. He knows that Lucifer is very proud and serious about his true self and heritage, and that is all fair and reasonable. I can see how that would be upsetting, an enemy given the appearance and skills of your kind. He doesn't know why the Singularity would do that other than it might have a sense of humor. Or it might be his close relationship with Castiel shining more than his hatred of Lucifer and Michael.

But Lucifer barely has access to his angel self. Feeling bitter about it is normal. He pats Lucifer's shoulder in solidarity. I wouldn't hold onto it though if you can help it. It's only going to upset and hurt you in the long term. Upset like he is now, hurt as in having another fight. Pointless. They have bigger things to worry about.

Isterdd shakes his head. No, they're more like a hybrid of things. Human and something else. Istredd has only heard the witcher details, he hasn't asked Geralt himself for confirmation. Nor does he plan on it. He isn't a big fan of mine. Or any mages, really.

Edited 2023-05-18 12:42 (UTC)

The hilarious thing is that if Lucifer knew about Ciri--even names are something they never traded with blows--he'd have little problem stepping back. She was a fierce, feral warrior and he respected that. They haven't seen one another since the boat and maybe that was the problems with an open, political-infused environment, but their 'temporary' truce from being in the Horizon before that had still held.

He is pretty sure she's related to Geralt, not just because of the hair, there's enough people with white hair, but because of the medallion she'd been wearing and the similar type to Geralt's and the tree full of them. He wonders if Geralt's yet to notice the mark he left on the tree, but likely even if he did he'd just wipe it away with a grunt.

But he's not going to ask if Istredd knows about the girl. He doesn't need his curiosity sated. He isn't concerned about coming to blows with her on a battlefield.

The wings are just another one of Lucifer's reasons for why he always thought the Singularity had a terrible sense of humor. Even Michael agreed, months ago! And they barely ever agreed on anything!

I can't do anything about Dean right now even if I wanted. Not with him juiced up with the Mark. Myself and Geralt I think are in a neutral state. He was protecting Wilhelm in the mountains, after the escape, and he let me take him.

Istredd hasn't mentioned how he got stabbed and he would have just said 'to help others escape.' It was generally true, but his instinct was to protect Ciri in particular. His conversation with Geralt afterward has reframed some of his behavior for him, another place in which he understands he has to change, but he feels in a decent place with both of them. They'll never be friends, but in a truce is good.

By not a big fan, I think neutral is somewhere in there. We will continue to talk about the Singularity or relevant topics, and that's about it. He does answer any questions I have about the original days. And that is why sometimes Istredd sounds so confident about the history of the Summoned. He does have one of those originals who doesn't mind answering what he's asked so far.

Geralt wants an anchor here as well, if we find one. He wants to stay here with Ciri. Istredd understands that. It doesn't sound like her life on the continent was anything good. Worse than he imagined. Leave Dean to them. You shared what you could with them. That was more than enough.

And Istredd doesn't want him anywhere near Dean. Or near anyone who would mean him harm.

Lucifer is quite literally incapable of leaving the Winchesters alone for extended period of times.

Sorry, Istredd.

The only reason he's in a lull is because of the Mark, and he knows Sam would be zero fun from the stress of his brother. But the need to push and pester for that level of familiarity is there.

There's the barest hum of acknowledgement. Not agreement, not dismissal. Just very much a 'I hear you' with no other opinion because if he does agree that will just cycle into their discussion about lying. So. It's a lukewarm reception.

"I know it's getting dark, but is there anything else you want to get a look at before we go back? It's mostly just fish. And more fish. And likely fish markets packing up given the hour."

Istredd sighs at that hum because he vaguely knows the intention but he doesn't press either. He's not asking for any promises. It's not as if he plans on never speaking to Castiel again himself. He plans on checking in with him soon. It is more coming from a place of concern for Lucifer's life. Once Dean's not a threat, whatever he wants to do is fine.

"Oh yes, I definitely would like us to go directly through the fish market. Really take in the end of the day stench." He smiles and trails his pinkie finger along Lucifer's hand in the smallest of gestures, already walking them toward the portal.

"No, what I want is to go decompress and eventually snuggle in bed with my permanent icicle of a significant other." Decompress from doing something that he didn't want to do, going out and about, and while it was a success overall, he wants to take a breather and release the stress.

"And thank him for making the most of a shitty situation today."

Hey, he's just being honest.

"But then we can bring the awful smell of fish--sorry," he says to a stranger as he passes them, who looks mildly annoyed at the jab, "back to the castle with us. Drift the smell through the walls!" Oh, but then it'd follow them to their room, so maybe not. Lucifer doesn't need to sleep with the fishes.

He starts laughing, completely random, no connection in his thoughts to make any sense, and throws an arm over Istredd's shoulders as he just continues to lose his mind in the streets of Nott.

He keeps his arm there even as his burst of humor starts to settle. "Well, it's a good thing you're molten hot. Balances out nicely."

He's sure he made things just as shitty himself, but hey, Istredd's anxiety is absent, so a mild fight was still a distraction.

Istredd also randomly broke out into laughter not that long ago so who knows where these things can come from. He glances over at his lover, amused and a little curious, since at least there was a connection he knew with himself. But he is deeply pleased by the arm around his shoulders so he doesn't press, he leans into it, always hungry for affection. He is happy when it stays there, for now.

"I didn't realize how hilarious I am," he teases. The adoration flares to life and pours out of him into the bond. Sometimes the two of them do fight or push conflict, but they also have a skill for de-escalating and coming back to their friendship.

"I take my responsibility as a bed warmer very seriously." It turns out their body temperatures do match well. And Istredd's put work into making certain his partner is comfortably warm wherever possible.

Edited 2023-05-18 20:32 (UTC)

One day, maybe, they'll have a 'normal' trip somewhere without any emotional baggage. Ha!

As if.

"Your dry wit is a charm," he says, because he can be an asshole five minute ago, but he can also properly give a compliment when he sees the opportunity, even if it wasn't the source of his laughter.

"And you are very good at keeping me warm."

Ha. As if!

"Flattery will get you many places." Maybe not everywhere, but it will definitely get him somewhere. Istredd runs his fingers along Lucifer's spine with a gentle touch. That is why he likes crawling into bed with Lucifer every night. Draped limbs on him at all times.

You're not going to tell me what you were laughing at? Rude.

You wouldn't get the joke, but okay.

This is what he's explaining to Istredd as they cross through the portal, out loud, because he's a gremlin and he likes to keep the Thorne guards on their toes even though he trains a handful of them.

Well, okay, half the conversation is out loud. Lucifer isn't a complete moron.

"So there's an idiom 'sleeping with the fishes'," he explains. It means to be murdered, to be killed and the body hidden from the public by disposing it in water. "And I thought, well, drawback of bringing the smell of fish into Thorne is to bring it into our space. Like." He's chuckling again, waving at the Thorne guards as they continue on, out of the room. "We'd be sleeping with the fishes." Doesn't matter that they could change clothing or try to scrub the smell off. That would've lingered, he's sure of it.

He has a very morbid sense of humor. Istredd knows this already.

Istredd relaxes as soon as they step through the portal back to the castle. As much as this place can seem like a prison, it's a refuge at the moment. One of the only spaces he does feel overall safe. That won't be forever, but he'll take it for now. He nods to the guards as they walk through, he knows some of them too, but otherwise he's listening intently to Lucifer's explanation.

He does get it now that it's explained though. Sleeping in their room, sleeping with the scent of fishes. He doesn't find it funny since yes the meaning is somewhat lost, but it makes sense. Istredd glances at him and smiles, shaking his head. He sneaks his hand into Lucifer's casually now that they're in the castle where they can drop their hands if someone comes around the bend.

"I understand it would be hilarious in your sphere." Well, among dark senses of humor. "But I wouldn't have let us bring that smell back to our room." The worst scents to him right now all have to do with the Pit. Mushrooms, mud, dirt. But fish would be up there, as fresh as they had it in Nott.

"I really need to find a way to make money so I can buy my own books." It's not easy in Thorne. He considers. "Maybe I should go hunting with you." Is he an obvious hunter, no. Does he have impressive magic? Yes.

"It's very hilarious," he says, as though it were fact. Istredd doesn't exactly have an easy way to source if it's true or not. Wilhelm didn't know macaroni art he's not going to know bad mafia jokes! But he also wouldn't have wanted to bring that smell back. He was at the bottom of the ocean with a rapidly-decaying vessel at one point for a nebulous period of time (thanks, Rowena). He's not into sushi.

Lucifer unexpectedly swivels around and sweeps up the hold of their hands and takes Istredd's other, cupping both between his. There is a startled spark accompanying the action.

"Yes," he says. It was a bit of a trial convincing Istredd to train with him in the first place. He's suggested Istredd coming with him before, but never pushed. That Istredd is suggesting is too much for Lucifer to just ignore. "It would be a genuine pleasure."

Istredd doesn't expect that and suddenly both his hands are taken and a spark flares between them. He was reluctant at first when Lucifer suggested training him, but he has done reasonably well, enough that had he been given the opportunity, he could have fought his captors off. Or at least tried.

He hasn't given much thought to it, but he probably will be helpful in this situation. He has an impressive array of offensive spells that just never get used. Istredd simply doesn't expect that reaction and he smiles at him.

"Oh really?" he flirts. It's difficult not to when Lucifer's holding his hands and looking truly pleased about the idea. His eyes are fixed on Lucifer, they may as well be completely alone in this castle at that moment. "Is it because you want to show off?" Now teasing as well.

"It is my element," he says. He's gotten better at knowing what output levels of power he can handle without significantly weakening himself instantly like he had that first time. The delicate knife-balance of power versus sheer force. And begrudgingly he's gotten better with a spear because breaking one the first time and claiming 'accident' was one thing, but he couldn't very well keep doing it.

Michael was better when it came to wielding spears.

Come on, Istredd, he very nearly purrs. For once he has to remind himself that they are in a hallway. Don't you want to see how good we are together in other venues?

He might as well be purring, Istredd can feel that down his spine whether he did it or not, the implication. He flushes and his heart races for a few seconds. We are in a public hallway, he says, mostly to himself, but for both of them. Lucifer is still fantastic at temptation, if he had any doubts.

Istredd shakes it off as best as he can, it wasn't fair. He hasn't pulled away though and he smirks at Lucifer. I do want that. He agrees, thinking how gratifying it would be, to prove to Lucifer that he can be his partner everywhere. To show them both how he's not weak and never has been.

"I wouldn't mind showing off too."

Edited 2023-05-18 23:29 (UTC)

Yeah, can't help it, your spine-tingling is worth the risk, he says, very much further in Istredd's space for all of five seconds before pulling abruptly away and continuing down the hall, putting significant space between them. And Istredd thought Lucifer up for seduction.

He waves a dismissive hand over his shoulder, but he's also buzzing, so it is mutual, Istredd.

"I want to see you have reason to unleash," he calls back cheerily, knowing Istredd will be quick to fall back into step with him. "Best way to do that is in the heat of the hunt."

Lucifer. He means to say it in a warning way and it comes out more like a heated caress. Istredd doesn't pull away when he gets into his space and he is clearly about to ignore all of his own warnings about being in public. Unfortunately, he has shown his hand clearly to Lucifer, he knows now how weak at the knees Istredd can get. Stupid, very stupid, in the right (or wrong) circumstances.

He swears under his breath when Lucifer pulls away and takes in a deep breath, following him to fall back into step. "Fine. Take me hunting, let me unleash, and then I buy you a drink." It's probably going to be good for both of them. Istredd has never let loose before in his entire life, their training was so focused. Control was necessary. The idea of not letting anything hold him back is a strange one, and months ago, it would've been an uncomfortable idea. Now, he can see the appeal.

"Who knows, maybe we'll get enough money to not be ridiculously poor, between the two of us."

Yeah that 'warning' only provides him with a thrill it'll do nothing on it's own, ever. But Lucifer, sometimes, can police himself. 'Sometimes.'

He does, truly, want them to actually be able to learn how to fight in sync. Has wanted it for a bit, but he didn't have the right, mm, motivation to convince Istredd before. Now he does.

And he's looking forward to that drink.

"Is there a risk of Abraxan magic unbalancing you? Or is it just your native abilities?" He was listening, despite being argumentative.

"Abraxan magic is safer but it's not instinctive. I prefer my own." Despite it being less 'safe,' it's still his. The Chaos is already inside of him, it's balanced as best as it can be. No amount of safe magic can feel the way that his does.

Being without any magic at all in the Pit was difficult, but it was the way it muted his natural state that hurt him the most. His rare use of magic down there, successfully, was his own too.

It's like ... maybe a comparison would be what feels natural to you as an archangel, compared to what you've trained in separately. Istredd doubts it is exactly the same but that is why it's a comparison. He's thinking of the power inherent in Lucifer, what he feels from him when he's embracing that element or connecting with it.

"I can use both, but the more dangerous side is the right one." Istredd isn't certain if that makes any sense. Technically it's a risk, but Chaos is air to him. Air that could be poison and suffocate him, but he'd still breathe it.

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at least I think he's suggested it, maybe I have lolol

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