abraxaslogs | Reality doesn’t always give us the life that we desire

Istredd did think of that, it was one of his first thoughts. "I thought I could move back before you woke up." Lucifer's more able to sleep deeply now that they are here and past the incident and past Nocwich. It seemed like a good chance the tossing and turning Istredd would wake up first and crawl back to his bed in time.

There is shame connected to this which is why he was so reluctant to bring it to his attention. Shame that swallows people whole. It means he isn't as strong after all. He's afraid. He doesn't want to leave the room. It's not good. Istredd tried to be very rational about it and pointed out it was inevitable for their minds to struggle.

"I'm sorry. My mind is subconsciously more comfortable close to you." This seems like a good way to get it without causing trouble. Istredd sighs and moves the pillow under his head. He does feel truly bad about scaring him, apologetic in tone and on their bond.

"I also thought putting an archangel between me and the door was a strategic move" Slight humot.

There's a wheeze in his breath. His emotions aren't doing any one thing specific, indistinguishable. They're supposed to be done with the panic trips now. It's not all smooth sailing but, oh, 'there has not been evidence that any of the Summoned were abducted while within the walls of the castle' and 'the Summoned are safest when in the castle'--right, Ambrose?

So he shouldn't be feeling any of this while in their own damn room, right, Ambrose?

"Don't do this again," he drags out, words unsteady. The color through his thoughts immediately freezes its spread, and for the first time actual words cross over the bond again, reacting quicker than he can talk, That's not what I mean. "You can--" He thinks about Wilhelm, in the mountains, hugging him. How he keeps making allowances that he wouldn't usually. "Do what you have to. Just..." What? Don't send him into a panic again? Lucifer can't make Istredd promise that. That isn't fair.

He thumps his head once against the wall.

"Just think a little more next time before you do something else like this."

Istredd knows none of this is reasonable. He doesn't actually think someone is going to come into their room in the middle of the night and take him again. He already suspected this would happen given some time but preparing for it didn't solve the problem right away. If he could think his way around this, he would have already done it.

He slides out from under the bed and sits next to Lucifer's bed instead. He is tall so he does come into view although it probably is a little silly to see his head poking up from under the bed like that. Istredd knew that those of them in the pit would have lasting trauma from what happened to them. Now he sees that those left behind would have it too.

I'm sorry I scared you. Istredd knows Lucifer is adapting just as much as he is. Being scared for others? New. It feels so much better now that he can dive into his mind again, soothe and caress, soaking it in since the distance had been hard. He told him the truth before. Their bond was not supposed to be like this. Istredd's desire for intimacy made it too deep.

"Whenever I sleep, my brain keeps telling me that this is the dream. That I'm still there dying, and I'll never get out." Being unable to tell dreams from reality is not great because it doesn't really end. Being awake could be a fantasy. Their bond is the only reassurance right now.

I won't disappear on you again like this, I promise.

His thoughts buzz in annoyance at the mention of his fear, but he doesn't deny it. It's a bit silly at this point, especially when all of Thorne had seen Lucifer cracked open in more ways than one. It quickly got to the point where it was just too laughably useless to keep up appearances.

"Don't make that promise. You can't make that promise," Lucifer growls, low in the dark, only the faintest glow from the log Lucifer had carved as a cover to talk to Mat during Luna's Winter Solstice. "You're all so easy to disappear again and," I can't change it.

If he had watched Wilhelm more closely, would it have helped? If he had done more than made him aware something was very wrong and gave him a weapon? Hell, Kell he'd only found out was snatched when Rhy cornered him in the castle hallways. Rhy's distraught unwinding and anger and saying that Kell told Rhy to find him. To trust him. That he'd know what to do.

What a load of crap.

"I meant by my choice. I can't control what happens to me from external sources." Like cultists or even the Singularity, if it decides to kick him out of this world eventually. As far as Istredd knows, no one has ever been able to see that coming or stop it from happening. So that is always hanging over them as a possibility. He wonders what it would be like to wake up and Lucifer's just gone. Like he never existed in this world.

Fear of loss gets to him too. In a way they're similar, having spent so much time intentionally being alone, only to make connections here they didn't want to lose. Istredd hadn't really been afraid of dying; he thought he would be. He was afraid of losing others. Of failing them. In that they're alike too.

Istredd gets up and sits on the end of Lucifer's bed, the glow just enough to see him in the shadows. Still enough of a distance not to get too close, although skirting on the edge of that. We really messed up, didn't we? He smiles faintly, shaking his head. Neither of us was supposed to care about this place and these people.

It was a doomed venture from the start.

Falling back into thoughts is like riding a bike. Well. Lucifer's never ridden a bike. Like flying, maybe? You never really forget how. ... Unless you're Future Castiel, maybe. Ha. That's how he could ruin Castiel's life. Tell him that he ruined Heaven redux version by causing all the angels to fall and getting everyone's wings actually broken.

For all the Lucifer is considered a "fallen" angel, his wings have always been intact.

Mmm. That would feel really nice. Michael would likely back him up on it if Castiel thought he was lying. Jack would be able to back it up in some way, not that he'd want to if he knew Lucifer's reasoning.

It's a tangent, anyway.

He's able to slide more into the mental communication than he was when he met Istredd in Nocwich. It's helping more now that sleep, while still on his periphery, is receding. The adrenaline is too, finally. A steady beat of his resting heart rate, but much lower.

Too many wild cards. ... Wild people. Feral and unsocialized chaotic monsters, the lot of them. Himself included. Thorne tightened the leash in that first week. I tried telling you a little of it. It made the already small box smaller, and when they opened it up unnaturally wide for us a week later, I don't think any of us even absorbed the breadth of it.

He's been staring at the ceiling this whole time. He was leading into a point, wasn't he?

I don't know how the other two factions reacted entirely. I know they were working. But I don't for a moment believe they were as adept in their survivability as Thorne, because the Thorne Summoned always operate like they have something to lose. People, freedom, control. There's a similar vein through each of us, unable to be ignored.

Lucifer told him when he got more sleep the static would recede and Istredd's grateful when it does. Not only because he is greedy for connection, but because it is an adjustment for him too, going from no telepathy to unexpected noise. He looks forward to smoothly sliding into Wanda's connection again and understanding what it feels like with Louis when they aren't going crazy. But this is special.

I love how the words on their own would seem insulting, but the way you say them sounds like the highest of compliments.

Feral unsocialized chaotic monsters, on the outside it would seem critical of them. He knows that for Lucifer it's him talking about his own kind of people. Istredd doesn't disagree with him, that all sounds about right. He has said before that they're trapped and the other factions can't understand. He knows they have much more freedom.

They can't stay here forever. Our kids. I don't want that for them.

They've been calling them 'the kids' for long enough but it's clearly more than that. It may be Kell and Wilhelm for Lucifer, but Mat is Istredd's, his student and he swore to help him be less afraid of magic. He is responsible for them too. He spent all his time and energy protecting them, only for them to end up right here again. Back in the cage.

Before Lucifer poked at him with a reference to his past, that he wanted them to have the choice he never had, and it's true. Even his freedom was always at the end of a leash.

I don't want it for you either.

They're not going to leave. He rolls his head against the wall and glances towards Istredd, and if he wasn't so recently asleep, he'd come off as sharp sounding, "It has to be their choice, mm?"

He can't see any of them leaving. Maybe if Rhy left. Then Kell would follow, no questions asked. But Wilhelm? He doesn't see it. And Mat? Well something happened in Nocwich, that's for sure.

Lucifer hums.

We had a chance to go to Solvunn. Negotiations happened, and they needed extra hands. Kyle and I went north instead. Yennefer joined us shortly after. Sure they both went to Solvunn after that, but that's besides the point. Lucifer had an open opportunity to leave Thorne territory for somewhere other than Nocwich and he didn't take it.

... Not enough need for freedom could get him to risk running into Wanda or Michael at the time.

Edited 2023-04-05 03:13 (UTC)

Istredd stares at him for a few seconds and then laughs. "Oh how the tables have turned." It had been Lucifer not interested in giving them a choice before, and now him the one reminding them about it. "Yes, it has to be their choice." No amount of good intentions would be the right move here. They may be young, but this is their life. The only one they have.

You would never voluntarily go to Solvunn. The very thought of it is kind of funny too. Lucifer among cultish farmers. No, the real reason being Michael. They may be able to have an icy peace from afar, but in the same faction that would go very wrong. He laughs again, purposely projecting an image of Lucifer with a rake and a farmer's hat at him. Surrounded by goats.

Istredd would go mad without access to books, he would read all of their books fast and only be distracted by the magic, but still. Free Cities, that maybe would work, he wants to see their universities. He moves so that his back is against the wall at the end of Lucifer's bed, mirroring him from a few feet away. It's because his side still aches sometimes, although it might be his mind tricking him, since it's been healed.

Free Cities sounds big enough you could avoid Castiel. There's a vacation town on the water. This time an image of Lucifer on a beach with a drink in hand.

"Goats are associated with me." So, honestly, he'd already have one foot in towards ruining Michael's life by being a petty little asshole like when they were younger. It could be fun. Start his own satanic cult.

He thinks of Free Cities, but he genuinely doesn't know much about the place. The people he knows that are connected there are people he always bemoans running into. Maybe before he could have found a way to thrive. Now, even if he settled in that vacation town, that close to Jack? They would never give him a single inch.

Nocwich's eternal darkness would eventually make Lucifer twitchy, not that they're currently opened for Summoned refugees.

So is it really places in Thorne's territory that might be worth something to him? He doesn't think any of them went to Borrel or Hayle for information, so outside of Borrel's beach he still doesn't know much.

I don't think I have as many options as you believe, he admits. He pushes some curiosity about the continued-mystery of the Feywilds, but it's only a passing thought. "I have business in Nott when I've recovered enough of my strength. I imagine they'll 'let' me leave for it." He just needs to find one particular guard to make his case to.

Nott would likely drive him insane but if everything goes to hell in Thorne proper, that's their best get-out-of-Thorne-free card.

Rock and a hard place.

"You should come with me." Get out. Of their room is left off, but it is very pointedly implied.

Snakes and goats? Any other animals? Those seem like very random animals to be connected to a singular entity. Gods do tend to have animals or some general things connected to them, but it's strange to him to see Lucifer as a figure like that. He's read the Bible and generally heard from people about the legends, but it's just disconnected so much from what he knows.

Istredd's eyebrows furrow. "I'm sorry, what business would you have in Nott?" He knows that he missed a lot of things while dying in a pit but this is new. And they would let Lucifer leave Castle Thorne to go there? It seems insane for them to let any Summoned out of their sight right now. Apparently things really did change while they were taken.

His anxiety spikes at the idea of Lucifer leaving. No, he doesn't like that, not at all. Istredd also doesn't like the idea of himself leaving the castle. Also not good. He hates feeling this skittish and twitchy but he has good reasons for it, they simply ignore his logic entirely. So what is worse? Lucifer leaving without him and being alone in here, worrying about him from afar, or being exposed out in a location already known for being a little seedy.

"I don't know. I'm not sure I'm trustworthy in public right now." Which means that he may be overly defensive and jumpy, and that isn't great for a powerful mage. Him reacting poorly to being jostled wrong could knock someone halfway through a city.

I don't know, probably anything that got a bad rep. Maybe black cats? They might be more closely associated with witches but essentially anything deemed 'evil' would be connected to me. This is just another stated fact. He's used to it.

"I accidentally got a fisherman eaten by a sea creature that was displaced in Lake Circinus," he says blandly. "By that point we knew the signal for some tracking location was loosely northwest of Cadens, so we were hitting different points east of Thorne's territory as far as we could go; Kyle had started closest down to Solvunn's border. So I took some tag-alongs and a Thorne guard--since they weren't completely letting us out on our own--to check out the lake."

He spreads his palms and makes a displeased sight, remembering with absolute fascination at the massacre and gore. "We got a fisherman to take us out. I wanted to get to the edge closest to the Singularity's shore. He got awfully twitchy about going any further. Whispers about something in the water stealing their catches. I bribed him with some coin to go out and he agreed and crossed the ice."

Lucifer coughs awkwardly. "He's very much no longer alive. Our Thorne guard booked us the hell out of there while the tentacled monstrosity chowed down."

He scratches at his chin. "Technically the agreement for the fisherman was half payment upfront and the rest afterwards." Or Robin!! Which he still thinks was a perfectly reasonable sale!! He wouldn't have it happen afterwards anyway if she didn't want to, god, he's not insane. "I wasn't going to honor that deal, but that's besides the point."

So what was it about then?

"Problem is, Thancred said Nott would be willing to take us in. Call me selfish, I don't care, but I'd prefer to have a good reputation already established in Nott if that day comes." Sigh. "The fisherman had a family. I want to give them what they're owed." He waves at their weird stack of enchanted logs. "Maybe one of the warming logs since I don't need two as much anymore, but I don't know how their homes are heated, so they might not need it."

I think the guard that was with us would back me up about needing to offer recompense and help us go if he tags along.

Istredd frowns and finds himself suddenly very protective of Lucifer. Stupid, maybe, but it doesn't sit well with him that the blame fell on him for everything. They really made you the entire sphere's villain. Ridiculous. They tried to do that to the elves in my sphere. To varying degrees of success, but the elves weren't the ultimate or original evil. It didn't stop them from almost being annihilated, despite having been on the continent before humans. And they equally weren't truly responsible for that.

That protectiveness turns into surprise at the story and he just stares at his friend the entire time he talks, not blinking. Istredd doesn't know how to feel about that, but there were a lot of people who died in this situation, so many of them down in the pit. The natives really had it bad, and they did on the outside too.

Lucifer is saying it as though he is solely doing it for his reputation in Nott, as if being responsible for one fisherman's death would matter more than Lyle Vela's support. This seems like a very strange situation, especially as it turned out the truth location was no where near Nott. So in a way, it was a pointless loss of life. But they didn't know it at the time.

"Lucifer, a warming log isn't going to do anything for them. He was probably the sole income for the family. They're going to need money." Which they don't have. They're not allowed to have things like that. "I think the better approach is to Lyle Vela. It may be that your reputation looks better if you display regret for what happened and ask him to help the family."

Lucifer frowns. "I intend to give them money," which he does still have some saved up meticulously, though it will be all he has, gone, "but if they buy firewood, year round it saves them a significant cost. The lake is still frozen, the town still cold. They still need that. Maybe they're able to use magic, but that seems like more convenience than Nott has." And one likely doesn't want to rely on Wild Magic for something like heat.

He's thinking long-term investments here, but mention of Lyle surprises him.

"Lyle!" he barks a laugh, leaning forward, hands laced together, and his thoughts immediately go to Brion Creed and his modest home in Old Nott.

"No. Authority figures helping the less unfortunate? Are you kidding me? If he hasn't done anything on his own by now, he's not going to do anything because a Summoned asked." Pressured. "Poverty and crime are rampant in those streets, hell, natives had been going missing for so long there. I don't know what his 'rating' is among his people, but I'm guessing part of the reason he's so willing to open arms to the Summoned is that so they can fix his problems for him."

Low opinion? Just a bit.

He resumes his position and waves a dismissive hand. "And I could care less about Lyle's opinion of me. Citizens are always what matter. The disenfranchised lifeblood of any city."

It's logical, he nods along. "I can do a higher heating spell on it, it wouldn't be hard to put an enchantment on it that could heat up a small house alone." That's the type of magic most mages in the castle could do, but perhaps in Nott it isn't as frequent for people to have the skills or mindset of high-level magic. Lucifer knows how effective Istredd's heating spells are, so to put them on an object would be pretty easy. No firewood necessary.

Istredd does look a little surprised at his response. He obviously doesn't know Lyle himself. He doesn't know anything about Nott, in fact, outside of general details. He does know that Lyle has mentioned allowing the Summoned to go there, but he has been skeptical of that offer for a long time. As if anyone would be stupid enough within Thorne grounds to let the Summoned hide there. Foolish and dangerous.

He is not very aware of power dynamics, having stayed out of the courts entirely and done his own research. Istredd was trained like all mages to understand them, but he was never going to be a court mage. He looks over at Lucifer and smiles, a wave of warm affection bordering on adoration stretched through the bond. Because he does adore him.

"A man of the people, I see." Lucifer will of course argue and say it's all very logical and strategic and that might be true, but it also means he is thinking about the disenfranchised more than the authorities. As for the actual problem though.

"How easy would it be to guilt the people in power here? We could always push that since these actions were done to save the Summoned, who Thorne wanted back, they should be responsible for the damages done. Not because they want to, but because of image. A public call-out." Of course they don't want to! And he isn't suggesting Lucifer do that, he's already in trouble. It would be someone like Istredd, who was taken. Who they failed.

Nott would likely rather scoff at regularly using something like Academic Magic as the Thorne mages would. That might be the only problem he runs into, but if Istredd add his own enchantments, that's maybe different enough magicks for a family in need to swallow their pride and accept.

All he says in argument to being 'man of the people' is, Mob mentality. Work into the little people and it spreads. Rumors are illogical, he's sure he's said something of the sort to Istredd in the past.

He shifts around, blankets twisting as much as possible with him, to face Istredd, already talking with his hands as he does so. Are they discussing Thorne politics, and politics in a generalization, on Lucifer's bed at some abnormal hour of the night? Yes, apparently they are.

"Unlikely. I assume Thorne has no care for Nott from how much the citizens themselves mutter unhappily about the Crown. And as much as I don't care about Lyle, 'influence' from Thorne is more than likely to backfire negatively. Do they need the help? Yes. But they're likely as independent from Thorne as any of the territory can get. Lyle and the others 'Lords' aren't going to want to lose that, and it will cause new problems."

Istredd uses his own magic the majority of the time, he is fairly expert at Academic Magic by now, but he'll always lean more toward his Chaos. If it would help them feel more comfortable to have a Summoned use their native power, so be it. It probably would look more like Wild Magic than Academic on its own. He might even be interested in hearing more about Wild Magic when they're there.

He's already decided to go with Lucifer, otherwise he wouldn't be offering something like that. It was inevitable. He is not going to be alone in this room, he will definitely run away and end up curled up in the library.

The fact that at any given moment and situation the two of them could end up theorizing and coming up with ideas together is part of why this relationship works. And what drew them to each other in the first place. Having someone you can bounce ideas off at all times is worth holding onto. Istredd turns to face him the same way.

He rubs a hand across his jaw, having had to shave his beard a little closer down because of all the dirt and mud. He's more scruffy than bearded, although that will change within a day or two, it grows quickly. Istredd considers options. They can't get Thorne to help. They could ask them for money and not tell them why, but no, unlikely.

"I'll sell my books to Thevan, I have some from Nocwich he doesn't have access to, he'll give me a good price. I've memorized all of them and put them in my Horizon library anyway." So he technically doesn't need them in person, he can look through them any time. They are the only things that he's bought for himself since coming here, but it would add funds to what Lucifer plans on handing over. It is automatic for him to think this is a problem for both of them to solve, not one of them.

Lucifer had tacked a note to one of his messages in Natasha's workspace in Sam Wilson's domain that was simply 'Thorne's useless.' It'd been in response to a crude message about the gods, after Lucifer had given a fairly decent description about vessels, but it mattered for most things.

Thorne is useless.

He wishes he could be surprised by Istredd's offer to sell books, but they're far passed that now.

Even if Istredd's made up his mind, Lucifer has to hear it. In words, not their minds. Harder to take back. "You'll come with me when I go, then?" he asks, eyes determined to not only catch but hold Istredd's gaze.

There is a fear in Istredd leaving. The fear that any of them will be pulled out again. But if they've both recovered, and in a pair, and even under guard--little value as Lucifer holds towards the Thorne guards--it has to be fine. It has to be fine because Istredd cannot stay contained in a cage of his own making.

Istredd plans on going into Sam's domain at some point to take down all the notes himself. He wants as consistent a record of everything that was said and done that he can get. He's a historian, he understands all too well about how badly reported on situations can lead to false facts in the future. Some day when they're gone, sent back or dead, there will probably be legends about this group of Summoned. He wants records somewhere. It's in his nature although they would disappear with him, so it's an imperfect system.

Well he's been neatly trapped, hasn't he? Istredd walked himself into this one after saying he wasn't sure about going. He is afraid of leaving this room let alone the castle, but he is much more anxious about Lucifer being somewhere else. He is clingy enough to need to sleep under his bed. Plus what if he is taken next? No, they have to stick together.

Blue eyes slant to the side for a moment as he considers, but when he does look back he lets Lucifer hold his gaze, reluctantly resolved. "Yes, fine. I'm fairly sure it's for the best I go as your compassion translator to the grieving family." It's an excuse for why he has to go. To help Lucifer, obviously, not because he is days away from becoming a shut-in with no end in sight.

Kyle told me about the private books they had here on High Magic and the gods. He recommended I ask Ambrose to see them. Despite the fact you don't like Lyle, it may be worth seeing if the area with Wild Magic may know more than this place. Ambrose may not like Lucifer, but he has reasons to like Istredd.

He smirks at Istredd's reasoning; the sad truth is there is likely some accuracy to it, but his amusement twitches away slightly at mention of Ambrose. "Oh, and if you leave then it's not feeding him what he wants. Or perhaps prefers. Good little behaved Summoned staying in the castle proper."

He thinks that's reason enough to leave, personally.

He's going to keep right on talking about far more interesting things before Istredd can pry to heavily into that. He's mentioning Michael and knowledge about magic (which he never told Istredd about while he was in that pit, but that's besides the point), surely that's something. Everyone knows Lucifer and Ambrose had an incident, nbd. "I want to ask Michael if he can learn anything directly from Solvunn about High Magic. The god they invoked for their illusions, at least the one we found, was considered to be a 'newer' god to Solvunn's pantheon."

"Ambrose's wants do not motivate me either way." Istredd isn't rebellious, he doesn't care about 'sticking it' to their captors. It's too exhausting to care that much about people who have made his life harder. He can play very nice and he will, but he has no interest in giving Ambrose more power over him. The royalty even less so.

Istredd's eyes widen and he leans forward, completely enraptured for a moment. "You want to ask Michael about something? Yourself? Directly? Not through me or Wanda?" If so that has definitely changed big time and he wonders if this experience somehow bonded the brothers again. It would be amazing if so. A monumental shift if true.

Obviously this was all a terrible experience he would not want to duplicate but he's fine with good things coming from it, and if that includes Michael and Lucifer being willing to work together, that would be great.

"By all means, please ask Michael about High Magic." Technically Michael does know that if strange things happen in Solvunn he can tell Istredd, he's done it before. He told him about the fish sacrifice that led to the turtle almost dying. Istredd might have asked him himself, but this is far more interesting to him. "If he can get us an actual pantheon, we'd have something to work with."

Good lord Istredd is easy to distract. It's unfair of him to take advantage of Istredd's weakened state, physically and mentally, but he's never been a saint.

They haven't been talking. From Lucifer finding a tentative balance he feared breaking as he typically does, to complete and utterly avoiding any potential contact with his brother and Wanda this past month. Irrational, he knows, but he wasn't going to risk anyone getting between him and his goal.

He was unaware of Wanda's similar mindset and Michael's assistance in that venture.

"To understand that brand of magic it would be easier to learn it from him. We may not think the same way on most things, but this would translate best from him directly. If he's willing to play along."

He is easy to distract in terms of what he thinks is actually important. And Lucifer potentially getting along with his brother is more important than Ambrose. Not that he's expecting the two of them to be best friends, but tolerance and interaction could lead to something more positive. Maybe it's because he never had any family or because he thinks Lucifer's long-term mental health would be better. Istredd wants the best for him. Making a lasting peace would be good for everyone.

Istredd knew that Lucifer was avoiding him, although tolerating his messages, and that he worked with Kyle and Lenore. He assumed he and Wanda were in connection because they usually were, and she was in the group who came and got him. Her boyfriend was down there with them, so it wasn't a surprise.

"There's no harm in you asking. He's told me about things going on in Solvunn before." But Istredd is not offering to ask him, that defeats the purpose of Lucifer attempting the olive branch. "I think we all have an invested interest in learning more about High Magic now that we've seen what it can do."

Istredd very much wants to know the hows here, as a scholar and a mage. "To cut us off from our powers and the Singularity, and some of us from genetic advantages? That is the type of magic worth knowing about, if only to combat it being used against us again." Geralt's witcher abilities were also not working entirely.

He thinks if Michael doesn't want to help than Wanda easily will, but that's a different thing that needs to be considered.

"That symbol you told me about on the shrines, has anyone told you about that, yet?"

He'll get the information from Sam's domain eventually, but, well, they're talking now.

Maybe if he pumps Istredd's brain full of enough knowledge his brain will shut up about everything else and he'll sleep better, as though it wasn't Lucifer to be the one to wake up this time.

Wanda definitely would, and that was always an intention of Istredd to ask her about since they are on the same wavelength about magic. He has some questions for her about what happened on her end of this, having had some vague explanation from Kyle and now Lucifer about the Thorne end. Everyone has a piece of the puzzle.

"I know there are a lot of details in Sam's Horizon from all of you. I tried to get there once but I only made it outside. I talked to Natasha briefly." She tried her best to help him and he gave her what little information he could before he was tossed out of the Horizon again. He means to go back to get all of the information from it.

It is possible if he has positive information stuffed in his mind he might dream about that instead. Not the worst approach. Istredd isn't tired though, interesting discussions have a way of waking him up. And he missed this so much. Even if they never sat like this together, and he wishes they had, but it's fine. He continues to take kernels where he can get them.

"Tell me."

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