abraxaslogs | I don't trust, but I see right in front of me

The intention was good. Istredd would maintain, rigorously and stubbornly, that he can take care of himself. He's learned how to not take it personally when people want to protect him though. It was an adjustment, that's all, since it comes from a place of caring that he exists.

He really smiles for the first time since they got there, glancing over at him. We make a fairly good team, you know. It's a little bit of a flirt, but mostly coming from a warm 'glad you're here' type of energy. If you can convince her to get us a closer look at Hayle, I would be very happy. Obviously he means the university and the books. Lucifer knows who he is dating.

Speaking of the protective bit, Istredd knows exactly what he's doing, and he considers being annoyed but the truth is, he's relieved. It makes his own anxious vigilance relax slightly. He takes the upper right path and his eyes only slightly dart when walking forward. "We'll make the same approach here." Istredd, sincere and direct. If they get mad, don't get defensive.

Boutiques it is! All the finest hat shops! Jewelry!

He's grinning broadly. It might be the first time they look out of place in the streets with keeping their thoughts between them.

Istredd can take care of himself when he's not hopped up on adrenaline, Lucifer is certain of that. Istredd can take care of himself when he's not on a hair-trigger for a shield spell if someone moves in a way he doesn't expect and only serves in making a bigger scene for them that he'll hate even more than just a sliver of protection from Lucifer.

"I should introduce myself first," he says.

Istredd laughs out loud. He hasn't forgotten that sometimes they look very bizarre when so much of their conversation is happening on the bond. Only occasionally is it observed, and the people of Nott generally don't care about them. Not that it's stopped them in any way and not that Istredd has any interest in saying this out loud, even with friends around them. Maybe especially when friends are around them.

Are you saying I get to pick out a hat for you? Because I might take time out of my busy reading schedule to do that.

It's true. He already communicated his concern about being around other people when he's this on the edge. His defensive capabilities are no joke and he could knock back innocent people because something seemed strange out of the corner of his eye. It would crush him if he hurt anyone that way. Lucifer is probably the smartest person he knows. And he understands people despite being a misanthrope about them.

Istredd has everything they brought for them in his bag so he'll be ready to set them out. It's meager, but the best they can do. "I'd say we could get a drink after, but we have no money."

Not my style, but I could make a hat work. He could make anything work, though fashion has hardly ever been a concern for him before. He'll clean up when he feels like it.

"That is a shame," he says aloud. Mentally, he's shaking his head. You want a drink from a fishing town? It's either going to be incredibly watered down bilge or the complete opposite, nothing in between. You want a drink? I'll buy you one in Nocwich. Means you gotta go with him to Nocwich, Istredd... I can sell something from the Hunting Grounds to pay for that much.

You can make anything work, he says flirtatiously. Istredd has faith in that, but he's been attracted to Lucifer for a long time, and he's never put any effort into it before. He finds him appealing in anything.

There is a pause at that. Nocwich to him is still a strain of memories. It should be good memories, as they survived, but it's not always that simple. But he knows Lucifer is trying to get him to push past his isolation. And sooner or later, he will have to go to other places without feeling this way. He told Lucifer that he trusted him to bring him back if he broke. He's proving that faith right.

Istredd waves a hand and for a short time an illusion is put up so nothing on the outside seems to change. But he takes the opportunity to reach out and snag Lucifer by the collar, tugging him in for a kiss. Having an illusionist for a romantic partner means PDA can be hidden. The impulse is for a few reasons but he doesn't let it linger. It's more of a statement of affection and gratitude, which is also bleeding through the bond.

You're quite good at relationships for a beginner. He smiles when they part, letting Lucifer go. Yes, let's do that.

Edited 2023-05-12 17:42 (UTC)

There is a notable surprise from him for the action, but only for a moment before amusement slips back in.

Trust Lucifer to make Istredd impulsive.

Remember that the next time I screw up. Because it will happen, there's no doubt.

But he's going to hold Istredd to it if he waffles around the time they can go to Nocwich. Truthfully Lucifer doesn't particularly want to go either for the same reasons, for just how much he was itching to leave Nocwich the last time and return to Thorne. But the Hunting Grounds is how he keeps at the top of his game and maybe get a few extra coin for sliding ingredients in to someone under the table.

He has to go, might as well make sure Istredd has a reward for Getting Out and going with him.

"This area is sounding... kind of familiar. I think it's around here somewhere--hey," he pauses to catch someone passing by, "we're looking for the late Morain's family home?" The first person he asks shrugs him off and keeps walking, the second still shrugs him off but waves to a few homes down, a faded blue-painted home, darkening closer to brown from wear and like whoever put it together built two separate projects and squashed them together to make one. "Thanks," Lucifer says, but the figure it already ducked away and gone.

He trusts Istredd to back him up in whatever situation he gets him in, so he is first to knock, half expecting it to actually be the wrong house and whatever street urchin was just trolling him, but an exhausted woman does open the door.

"Ah, hi," he says, deliberately faltering. For all his unease sounding, Istredd will only feel confidence shining through. "Sorry to bother you, I'm not sure we have the right place--your husband, was it Morain? The fisherman?"

Her expression is neutral, but her tone is cautious. "Yes, that's right."

"I'm sorry. That's it's taken so long for me to get here. I--I was on the boat, with him. He was helping me."

I thought I was the current screw-up. And a flagrant flirt. Lucifer could be a bad influence although he hasn't encouraged any of this. Istredd does adopt his confidence occasionally, it feels good when he does. But they have a job to do here, getting rid of most of their money in one swoop.

These homes remind him of some of the poorer villages he's been to. Istredd doesn't have to school his face into being more serious or contrite. His feelings are genuine. Enough people died during this experience. None of them should have either. He lets Lucifer go first and introduces himself as Istredd hovers carefully behind him.

"He was trying to help investigate a lead on the missing people, myself among them." Istredd actually doesn't know how much they were told about the hows or whys the man died. The Nott people did know about the creature in the wrong place, but the reasons for it may not have been clear. "We don't have much but we would like to offer you and your family some recompense."

Halfsies on the screw-ups.

Istredd's got doing their bond wrong. Lucifer's got knocking Istredd unconscious during an intimate moment and messaging Yennefer.

"Those that had been on the boat with me are gone now with the whims of the Singularity, but they'd be with me at your door were they still here."

He thinks there's some truth to that. Kol seemed reasonable enough and Robin naive enough, though he imagines more fight out of her, given the circumstances and likely some... trust issues surrounding Lucifer.

But hey, he brought Wilhelm back. He did what he set out to do. She couldn't have been too annoyed at him before she up and vanished--not that it mattered to him.

He glances behind them, not sure doing this sort of 'deal' in the streets would be wise. They don't need bringing more trouble down on this house because she suddenly has more coin than before.

"I understand you may not want to allow us into your home, but--"

She cuts him off, and that caution has increased, that same unease that he's felt from around them since they entered the city, "Here is fine," she says firmly, and Lucifer nods, holding up his hands in deference.

Just don't let the exchange be too visible, he says to Istredd.

Careful with mentions of the Singularity having Summoned go missing. That isn't public knowledge.

There is very little most people know about the Summoned and while no natives can go near the Singularity so it's not like they can take advantage, he's not sure it's wise to give more information than necessary. For people who believe in the power of the Singularity, it sending Summoned back could indicate it doesn't want there. He's paranoid. They both know that.

Istredd creates another illusion around them but this one is subtle, it wouldn't be picked up easily by anyone walking by or even the woman herself. Anything being handed over wouldn't be obvious to a passerby, that's the best he can do to protect her interests. But he doesn't want to scare her by making it obvious.

He pulls out the log first and offers it to her. For now it isn't working, so as not to startle. "With an incantation I wrote down with it, the log will be set on fire but not burn anything that it's on top of or around it. I amplified a heating spell on top of it so it will be able to heat your home in any hard winters coming ahead. You turn it off with the reverse incantation, which I also wrote down." It's not as if everyone knows his level of magic but it shouldn't be that hard to follow.

The fact he isn't suspiciously looking around them should be a clue to Lucifer what he did with the illusion, although he can probably sense it too. Istredd then pulls out the pouch they gathered of funds and gives it to Lucifer to give to her. It is his compensation after all.

Other than the knowledge Istredd specifically gleamed on his trip to its physical location, Lucifer doesn't particularly care about what random potentially true fact he drops about the Singularity. Even he doesn't trust it as fact; nothing is fact even when proven, but he'll at least acknowledge Istredd with a hum.

It's neither agreement nor denial.

They should be reminded sometimes the dangers of their big ~~dumb~~ rock that they maybe worship and/or hopefully respect.

His second hum of acknowledgement is for the illusion, a sort of good idea implied.

He takes the pouch and holds it open towards her so that she can see the contents if hearing the weight of the jingle wasn't enough.

"Nothing we give will make up for the loss of your husband," he says as he hands over the pouch after she accepts the log.

It's when they're both in her grasp some of her expression cracks away to gratitude, like she had expected that despite their words they'd really just come up with nothing. That it was Just Words.

"I didn't stop thinking about getting here. But I hope this helps. He'd talked about you, before..." Before he died and by talked about... WELL.

I never liked the whole 'Your Loved One's Name Here' is looking over you. Other than it being... wrong, it seems needlessly cruel to think they can't just pass on.

Which is a bit of his way of saying 'I should say something flowery here' but 'I think it's dumb and I have my limits' but they probably need some kind of parting statement.

Edited 2023-05-13 15:57 (UTC)

Istredd has said a few times that none of them really know what the Singularity is or what it's capable of doing or if it's responsible. As he told Geralt, never assume he's speaking in facts, only in theories or guesses. He still thinks it's best not to spread information about the Singularity, true or not. Even when reporting to Ambrose about the Singularity trip they were fairly neutral about it.

He can tell that despite everything, it does actually seem to land for the woman and giving her something was better than nothing. Lucifer was right. The log was a good addition to the money, a longer lasting gesture. He glances over at Lucifer at that part, since he has no idea what the religious mindset is about the afterlife here.

"I don't know if there is any solace in knowing your husband was trying to do a good thing, and that all of us who were taken, Summoned and citizens alike, were helped by his actions." Technically not, technically the sea monster meant nothing to the end goal, but it did cross something off for them as a potential location. So big picture, it was.

"If you ever need an additional enchantment or to strengthen the one on there, you can contact me, Istredd, at Castle Thorne." It is very unlikely to fade any time soon, but he likes to be thorough.

Lucifer mentally waves him off. He doesn't know the afterlife views here either, he's just always stuck on the views and misconceptions from home.

The lake trip did help to a point, because it pushed them closer to the north in their assessment of location. There was a reason the creature relocated.

"Thank you, both of you," she says, the sincerity there despite the way her eyes slide away briefly at the mention of Castle Thorne. "I'm sure this will do just fine."

Don't push her for more, is the first actual warning Lucifer gives, nearly sharp.

"We won't take up anymore of your time," Lucifer says, and this time he has to fight for his fake smile. He's already patting Istredd on the arm, leading him away and allowing the woman to retreat back into her home.

So Nott's doing just fine. That's sarcasm. More happy than ever that we didn't get Thorne directly involved with helping her. She would have combusted on the spot.

Istredd bows his head respectfully to her, having also noticed that glance away, and he didn't plan on pushing more. Lingering would only continue the pain, and she has the log and money now. He follows Lucifer without argument, musing on it himself.

I suppose I can't be surprised that they would loathe the crown with how little they care about this place or its people. Istredd of all people understands well, as he's already explained he dealt with villagers who welcomed a conquerer when he gave them an easier lifestyle. Life was hard on the continent, he could hardly blame them for seeing a bad person as a hero for giving them food when they were starving.

There is no conquerer here that can take over Thornee, so Nott has no option for that. They simply have to continue existing as best as they can. Istredd frowns as they walk. His instinct, as always, is to be helpful. Just as he wanted to save the elves however he could, his heart does go out to Nott and the civilians there.

I tried to save as many of the natives as I could. We all did. But there were so many dead, and no one searched for them. Josselyn said the cult hadn't been in action very long, but if they hadn't captured Summoned, they probably could have continued killing civilians.

Of course taking the Summoned was the entire point of the plan, so she could try and steal their connection to the Singularity, but it doesn't change how bad that is for the others. Istredd is Istredd, so he feels a momentary sense of guilt.

There were two natives I brought back with me when I took Wilhelm, he says. So others did continue to make it out without your vigilance, and that comes with a touch of annoyance because seriously Istredd, fine, you can be 'responsible' for the new Summoned or whatever mantle you felt like taking up but literally taking up responsibility for everyone else is pure idiocy.

Abraxas' own people were out to get them. You can't change that. There's always gonna be some bigger fish taking advantage of the guys below them, finding whatever 'in' they can get and use it.

It's a fact of life as far as he was concerned. He didn't have to make humanity flawed. He just fast-tracked the inevitable. Their flaws were there; he took the highlighter to them.

"You want to try and find your bookstore?" I don't want to be in this city for longer than we have to be, but... He's not going to deny Istredd books, even if it was just to window-browse.

Istredd gives him an equal touch of annoyance look. Feelings are not logical, as much as I wish otherwise. Meaning he knows that there is no logical reason for him to feel guilty or responsible for anything outside of his ability to control. They kept as many people alive as they could. He's told the others who have lingering feelings of guilt that they should let it go.

Very do as I say not as I do of him.

It's a little sad that every sphere seems to hold the most depressing qualities in common. Turmoil, conflict, the powerful stomping on the powerless. Istredd is not an optimist, there cannot be one of those coming from his cold and cruel sphere, but it would only be natural to hope for better out in the multiverse.

He doesn't want to linger in melancholy though. It's unhelpful. Istredd almost says no, they should go back, he also doesn't want to linger out here. But that would mean not finding the bookstore in Nott right now, for when he has money he can maybe spend. They might have uncommon texts. Since Nott cares a little less about the scrutiny.

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

He supposes if feelings were logical he wouldn't have such a problem with figuring them out, but then again Lucifer is likely the most illogical of the angels, so...

Lose/lose no matter what for him.

It's inherent, he states. A fact in stone.

Humanity is all the same no matter the 'sphere.' Lucifer may like a handful of them but he still sees, easily, everything that makes him scoff, everything that still keeps him firmly on the side that he was right. Show him a world where that's different and he'll crow 'fluke.'

Now though he blatantly rolls his eyes at Istredd instead of the mental pushes from before. He gives him a near-pitiful look. "Yeah," he says, clipped. "Let's go back instead. Forget all about the books you've never seen before."

Humans aren't the only corruptible species. Because he knows exactly where Lucifer's mind would jump to. Other spheres have multiple species too, some just like Abraxas, like vampires and werewolves. There are elves, dwarves, and gnomes in his sphere. It's not so cut and dry that only one type of creature in the multiverse is the problem.

Since Michael seems to think they're all God's worlds anyway, one could argue it would then be all of God's creations are the problem. But Istredd doesn't know that he believes that their God has made everything. No clarified truth. Just a theory like any other.

Remember when I said you're only sometimes annoying? Technically what he said is he likes Lucifer even when he's being a prick, and that was watered down into annoying. Istredd rolls his eyes and just walks away from him because he has to get the book scent. And it probably will look like he's literally following some kind of energy, his sharp eyes looking for something in particular.

It is mostly cut and dry for Lucifer because everything under the monster category falls to Eve. And demons were naturally corrupted by nature of what they were.

Angels were........ the more difficult category to sort. He wishes it was easier to corrupt them.

But he doesn't have much more fight towards it either way. He's met more species on Abraxas than he has anywhere else.

He beams in delight instead of taking offense. Lit up through his mind, an ease to his steps, more carefree seeming--though a piece of him is aware of his surroundings. That won't ever stop. I had to make sure to remind you, he sings, purposeful. Everything about him is purposeful, hidden under a cover of nonchalance, that you're wrong and I am in fact most of the time a prick.

Is he having fun? Yes.

Is he playing his own secret game that he's 100% winning? Also yes.

"I hate you." It is about time for them to do their call and response line, since the last time Lucifer wouldn't give him the right reply. His irritation is genuine although he also deeply hates how hard it is to hold onto it when Lucifer's good mood is a stark contrast.

You have no idea how infuriating it is that I find it as attractive as I do annoying. It is why he was always doomed. Istredd's just open about the extent of his doomed state these days. He did tell him his impulse was to either strangle him or kiss him. So those feelings are permanently intertwined in him.

Some part of him is aware that Lucifer's doing it for a specific reason. And it is working. He is more relaxed in terms of thinking someone is going to snatch him. At one point though Istredd stops entirely, and then backtracks his steps. He has that feeling. His already bright eyes seem to brighten more and he walks toward what appears to just be a closed shop and locksmith.

He smiles, satisfied, and slips into Oks.

Hilarious that those three words send a tingle down his spine more than Istredd's 'I love you.' Maybe because that is, really, something that has stuck out between them for months on end, since the bond could correctly indicate what Lucifer was actually feeling when his words said something else entirely.

He nearly leaves it hanging on empty air. A response left unsaid is better than Lucifer's struggling 'I know.' That there was no point of it unless Istredd could find something in himself to survive and pull them out of the fragmented Horizon connection and back to their mental link.

He doesn't. He doesn't think he's capable of it.

"You don't," he says, and his response may even be stronger than his proclamation of 'you're mine.' Charged in a way two words shouldn't be.

He doesn't follow Istredd in right away, but it's only a feel seconds for him to take a look behind them, checks their entrance, and then slide in.

... He's going to lose Istredd in here if he's not careful.

Edited (I thought I murdered all my extra 'actuallys') 2023-05-14 04:40 (UTC)

In many ways that saying is where they bond locked into place, and not only the magical one. The emotional one between them, when everything blurred together and they never managed to pull back from there. It was the first time Istredd was completely confident when he said 'you don't' because he felt it. Lucifer felt everything but hate for him.

It's why it felt harsh when he didn't get it back, when it suddenly seemed like shaky ground when before it never was. To have it solid again is nice. Istredd glances over his shoulder and the smile he gives Lucifer is solidly his because there is no reservation in it. Just pure affection.

Stop that or I'll kiss you again. Not in front of the books. As if the books are sacred and he must give them all his attention now! If Lucifer irritating him didn't already help him relax from his anxiety, this makes it temporarily disappear entirely.

The woman, clearly the owner, within looks up at him when he cheerfully asks her about history, and she points toward all the way in the back. The non-fiction section is apparently deep in there. Unsurprising, most people prefer fiction. Lucifer could lose Istredd in there since it is a bit winding but there are many more books than he actually expects. He's absolutely delighted, he may as well be glowing on the bond.

"This is a gold mine," he says gleefully, fingers reverently touching the books as he searching the titles.

He's briefly distracted, turning, looking out towards something like he thinks he missed it, but shakes away whatever it was, nothing there, and focuses on laughing instead, Oh, the books are innocent, are they? I'm guessing your world wasn't about book banning then.

Istredd is not going to want to know those details.

"I don't suppose you take IOU's," Lucifer says to the woman as he passes and the look she gives him says it all. What? He had to ask, see who he has to deal with here? Joked about you dating the Singularity but maybe it's bookstores that should be the real concern.

Book destroying happened when people wanted to wipe out knowledge. When humans learned magic and then killed the elves that taught them, they rewrote history to say it was always them. Not banning so much as utter destruction.

And this is on the tail end of Istredd saying 'not all humans' but he never said he thought humans were good. They weren't the only bad ones, that's all. This is why most people on the continent didn't know about the elves being the root. And why the elves prophesized their savior. Their anger was justified. Other them, but not to make them seem better.

When Istredd thinks about how many books must have been burned to hide all kinds of truths, he gets sad about it. He thinks it's likely Thorne has done the same. They must have known more about High Magic earlier.

Giant rocks and books were my first true loves. He laughs and goes deep into the back shelving areas to pluck out a history book and look through it. He wants to see if there are any differences. Or I should say knowledge is. It always comes back to that. Monoliths and books are connected to the same.

He knows he can't take any of this today but he will note the ones he wants. And people who are pricks, attractive ones.

Yeeeeeeah there was some book burning in Earth's history too. Good times.

Maybe what he should lean towards more now, given different people and their worlds, is that civilizations are flawed. That's non-discriminatory, groups in whatever mixed species is roaming about a planet. All equally flawed!

He chuckles to himself as he pages through a random book and does not comment as to why.

"We do have time," he says. "Our 'curfew' isn't for awhile." Get back before sundown, the Thornean way!

So lose yourself to your heart's content. The woman up front didn't balk at Lucifer's blatant show that they had no money and were just perusing, so they can likely get away with being here for a bit.

You'd love me if I was unattractive, he says plainly, matter-of-fact, but it's maybe the first time he's really acknowledged Istredd's feelings so simply.

Istredd would readily agree all civilizations are flawed. It seems inevitable. And that the civilized aren't that far away from being uncivilized, depending on what is going on. He doesn't hate people but he's fairly realistic. He has a more positive outlook on the Summoned solely because in a way they have to find some connections with one other in order to get through this alive. It's why he thinks even the Winchester group and Lucifer and Michael could make an ongoing ceasefire. They have more to worry about than each other here.

Istredd probably wouldn't want to stay here past dark anyway. He is currently more soothed and distracted by books to be concerned about someone coming for him, but his anxiety would spike after sunset. He's been uncomfortable with the dark ever since the Pit. They could barely see for pieces of it, until the shrines turned the torches on. It's why he hid under Lucifer's bed and why he's been relieved they sleep together now.

"I love old books the best." Istredd is full out nerding at this point. He does love the smell of old books. His reasoning is probably tied to what he said before, that since so many historical texts were destroyed, it feels like the older they are, the more valid their details. It is probably not true, but it feels that way. And this place has endless older texts. Kid in a candy factory.

Of course I would. Why do you think I use the term attractive instead of handsome? Handsome would be about your vessel, attractive is all of you. Istredd rarely compliments Lucifer's body or looks because he knows very well that Lucifer has body issues due to being stuck in a human form. While he does think his vessel is handsome, it's not on the list of things he likes about Lucifer himself.

Things I like about your vessel are really about you. I like looking at your eyes because I can see through to your mind. I like when you lounge or smirk or have that singing tone because that's your personality shining through. I obviously liked how you were dressed at the ball because the style is your taste, and I knew you wanted me to find you attractive.

They both kind of did that. There was an intention to dressing the way they did. That's why it was a first date. Istredd says all this to him while flipping through a book, he can multi-task very well. If he had money he would be stacking them to decide later, so now he has to browse while he has the time.

And I know for you it's similar. Lucifer wasn't attracted or interested in people before him. He smiles as he changes books. Except for my eyes, apparently.

Edited 2023-05-14 16:20 (UTC)

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HE IS SUCH A NERD

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wow this ended up long he just likes a lot of things about him lol